Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

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Boolean Bitch said:
Reinactment for the literacy-impared...
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So... she's the size of a full grown grizzly AND shits like one? You don't say....

LOL! Ambo thought Becky wouldn't have the thumb-balls to out her like this (nice work, Dakota). If it wasn't already, I think it's safe to say both Factor and WW are now officially over.
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Thank you but bears are innocent and shouldn't be compared to her.
 
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Probably a stupid question, but why doesn't she just get a bidet? They might not have been as readily available back in the gaycare era, but there's tons of cheap toilet seat attachment ones on Amazon now. Would that logistically work on her or is she so big that it wouldn't be able to shoot water up into all the necessary crevices? I'd imagine with a shelf ass that large, very little of it ends up making contact with the seat.

And jesus Beck, have some self-respect. I guess I can kind of understand her wanting to be a good partner by helping Amber clean her ass when she couldn't, but WHY would you clean her filthy shit crusted rags in the sink for her?? Amber could have at least done that herself. Making Beck do it was some weird kind of power play.

This has been more thought given about Amber's asshole than I ever needed.
 
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notfoodienotbeauty said:
LOrd help me for actually wanting to know this, but what was the logistics of the wiping? Did Amber give Becky a heads up, "hey I'm going to take a shit now, be ready to come wipe in 10"? Did she text her when she was done? Did they have a code word they used?
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I believe Becky accidentally exposed some of the details of this during one of her recent vlogs where she was answering questions. One of the questions involved sending her the clip of Eric (or Ricky?) doing an unboxing video and you could clearly hear Amber yelling and pounding on a door or wall. But what she was yelling was garbled.
The rumor circulated for years that Amber was having a binge monster moment yelling "let me in!!!" demanding access to the snacks being unboxed. People asked Becky what Amber was yelling in the clip.
Becky answered while she didn't remember exactly what day that was, it sounded just like when Amber would yell for Becky whenever she needed help when she was in bed or IN THE BATHROOM.

So Amber would literally pound the walls and scream BAYBUHHHHH when she needed wiping?
 
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Cal Arts said:
why doesn't she just have a smart toilet installed?

Getting a whole toilet installed? In a rental? Doubtful. But why wouldn't she use one of these? We've been assuming she used a Bottom Buddy all over this thread.
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Isn't this what she said she puts her effing vibrator on to masturbate? 🤢🤮💩💩💩🐻

Oh wow 😯 a lolcow was nice enough to demonstrate how 600 pounders wipe.

A how to on wiping

Someone should send this to big Al to show her how to wipe her gargantuan ass.
 
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hotcheetospuffs said:
She's only 5'3" that must've been a short corner. I know her crack goes all the way up her back but a washcloth also just doesn't long enough to do the job.

She needs one of these for her ass.

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You're right
I'm similar in height myself, and a regular sink corner is about to my lower back. What the fuck kind of short ass sink was that? I don't think I've ever seen a sink that short.

I'd say maybe she used a step stool but those would break under her. I
 
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hotcheetospuffs said:
She's only 5'3" that must've been a short corner. I know her crack goes all the way up her back but a washcloth also just doesn't long enough to do the job.
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Actually, she is only 5’2”. She said in the past that she was 5’3”ish. I am sure that her weight has compressed her spine and other joints. 5’2” might be optimistic.
 
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scoootiepuff said:
Probably a stupid question, but why doesn't she just get a bidet? They might not have been as readily available back in the gaycare era, but there's tons of cheap toilet seat attachment ones on Amazon now. Would that logistically work on her or is she so big that it wouldn't be able to shoot water up into all the necessary crevices? I'd imagine with a shelf ass that large, very little of it ends up making contact with the seat.
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As a bidet user I agree that this would be a much easier/sanitary way for her to attempt clean the sarlacc pit between her legs but I’m guaranteeing it would not be able to penetrate all that excess fat.
Spreading her cheeks outside in front of a garden hose with her mom as the pilot is the only real solution.
Bonus points if she gets one of those soap spray attachments that dog groomers use.

Is this the life you imagined, Amber? Scraping the shit from your butt on the corner of a bathroom vanity? Like an animal using a tree?



Was all the food worth it?
 
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FatalTater said:
Becky keeps using words and phrases that make me think someone is writing a script for her then winding the key in her back and sending her online.
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That or she’s a slightly self-aware retard who at bare minimum knows that places like Kiwi Farms/Reddit/the entire Internet will tear her to shreds, so she has meticulously planned what she wants to say. Her delivery is just stilted because she is still in fact, a retard, and didn’t practice saying it.
Edit: English hard
 
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Damn, in the time it took for me to get home from work and edit my masterpiece we learned Amber shits like a bear in the woods. Yuck.
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Pls no booly, phone edit

Seriously though, a fine cotton washcloth (an heirloom at that) and tubbo just uses it to...wipe. I could cry if I gave a shit about any character in the hamberverse.
 
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scoootiepuff said:
Probably a stupid question, but why doesn't she just get a bidet? They might not have been as readily available back in the gaycare era, but there's tons of cheap toilet seat attachment ones on Amazon now. Would that logistically work on her or is she so big that it wouldn't be able to shoot water up into all the necessary crevices?
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She'd literally crush the bidet with her weight.

ETA: She could have used a removable shower head instead now that I think about it.
 
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Fee said:
Isn't this what she said she puts her effing vibrator on to masturbate? 🤢🤮💩💩💩🐻

Oh wow 😯 a lolcow was nice enough to demonstrate how 600 pounders wipe.

A how to on wiping

Someone should send this to big Al to show her how to wipe her gargantuan ass.
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Using a wand to wipe her ass wasn’t her rock bottom!? I don’t have TikTok, so I hope someone can tell me what the fuck WAS her rock bottom.
 
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FatalTater said:
Becky keeps using words and phrases that make me think someone is writing a script for her then winding the key in her back and sending her online.
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I'm not going to complain. I don't think I've laughed harder than I have today. I'm just imagining Amber walking around gaycare not just free bleeding, but also free shitting, like a bear or horse does.
 
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