Australians

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Ignatius von Cistern said:
In the 90's, Australia had a few astronauts trained up to go to the ISS and CSIRO commissioned a number of scientific studies. One of these involved Cane Toad mating behaviours in zero-G. Unfortunately they got loose on the ISS and they had to quickly think up a solution. So, they contracted the US team that designed the zero-G pen in the 60's (some guys had to come out of retirement) to design the zero-G golf club. The Bull Ant study had to be cancelled after that little problem.
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After sending astronauts to space, Australia realized their Vegemite was useless. This was the 1990s—the nadir of the space race—so the Australians spent an absurd amount of money to develop a condiment that works in zero gravity. Rumored to cost at least $1 million (about $9 million in today’s dollarydoos), the “Spacemite” can be spread upside down, at extreme temperatures, and even underwater. This feat of Oceanian inventiveness allowed astronauts to eat in space.

Faced with a similar flavour problem, the Russians drank used lubricating fluid instead.
 
Store Brand Cereal said:
Faced with a similar flavour problem, the Russians drank used lubricating fluid instead.
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It was actually hydrazine.

Contrary to popular belief, Harold Holt was not the only Australian Prime Minister to drown while in office. This also happened to Gough Whitlam, who drowned in a private pool filled with VB (Victoria Bitter for those who don't walk upside-down, a mild neurotoxin extracted from fermented Vegemite). This was covered up by ASIO for decades, until revealed by Julian Assange through Wiki Leaks. The next day he was accused of rape by a Swedish woman and, well you know the rest.
 
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Another day in paradise.

Kerr Avon said:
The only good thing to come out Australia

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Ah i see you're also a man of great culture.
 
Mike Matei's Penis said:
Vegemite is pure shit, worst meme food ever
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Nah mate, you're just a poof. Puts hairs on ya chest.

Speaking of poofs, did you know that gay bashing used to be an event at the Commonwealth Games? Not allowed at the Olympics since 1936 of course, but the British Commonwealth endorsed it well into the 90's. Unfortunately in 1993, the Homosexual Voice to Parliament got passed in Australia and the event was withdrawn.
 
The national food is sausage rolls from bakeries owned by Vietnamese families that also sell the most inexplicably high quality banh mi you have ever tasted.
 
Mr Bones Wild Ride said:
Me to everyone in this thread:
View attachment 6108583
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cmon ya dog cunt let's go hey

solidus said:
Objectively, you couldn’t be more wrong.

It’s not a food. It’s a way of life.
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have you seen the Vegemite drip??!?
Rvygoree said:
I don’t know why but I feel unexplainable primordial rage towards Australians
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do tell? bit hard to hear in here but let's go outside and .... 'chat' ....
Ultrapenguin said:
I feel a little bad because they don't seem as terrible as British people but they're stuck on an island where humans can't even live on like 90% of it
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don't feel bad it's a South Pacific paradise
Thumb Dumpster said:
The national food is sausage rolls from bakeries owned by Vietnamese families that also sell the most inexplicably high quality banh mi you have ever tasted.
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There was a time when best they could do was wrap pastry around a sausage
 
I can understand drunken aussie far better than I can drunken britbong. Ill side with the Aussies on this one.
 
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