Baseball Thread

[A.P. Hill]

If I were a Little League umpire, I would eject the first kid who flips his bat. Back in my day (the mid-aughts), you could get ejected for throwing your bat even accidentally.

I'd also love to look one of those shithead baseball parents in the eye and tell them their kid is not the next Manny Machado, just to watch the sparks fly.

And while I'm being a crotchety old sourpuss: the Savannah Bananas are obnoxious faggots. Bananaball may have some fun rules, but they're eclipsed by their games being clown shows.

AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE UNWRITTEN RULES!?

I'm kind of either-or. There's a time and a place for celebration. Did you hit a game 7 walkoff? Flip that bat. Did you homer off a pitcher who hit you in the previous AB? Toss that bat into the stratosphere. But it's not appropriate to do that every single play.

Unfortunately, we have been told for years that any support of the unwritten rules makes you an old crotchety grandpa who hates fun and probably a racist as well (even though players like Bob Gibson were some of the biggest sticklers for them). And now we've realized why they existed...to promote good sportsmanship and team bonding. Doing a whole choreographed touchdown dance for a solo homer up 7 just makes you look like a douche. And it inevitably turns out that all the big bat flippers are locker room cancers too (see: Anderson, T.).

That to me is one of my biggest pet peeves with the DH. The unwritten rules kind of fucked off because if you're a pitcher, you can bean dudes with impunity and not have to face the music, so to speak.

This is one of the reasons why the universal DH pisses me off. It eliminated so much strategy...and the ability to get an amazing moment when the pitcher gets a HR...and it lets pitchers hit anyone they want and never have to get a taste of their own medicine unless they're Ohtani. It's always some other guy who will end up taking the heat. The closest a pitcher in this age will ever come to getting his shit rocked for a beanball is if the batter charges him, and 9 times out of 10 no punches will connect anyways.

As far as parents go, I hate them. Being an umpire taking abuse from some 40 year old semi-alcoholic dad who thinks his sperm has produced the next Ted Williams was fucking terrible. I can't stand parents who live vicariously through their children in order to feel a semblance of success.

I'm in training to become a youth league/high school umpire. I'm going to be as understanding with the coaches and kids as possible, because it's a competitive game and boys get excited sometimes. But I promise you that I will send the first parent that yells some smartass thing at me to the parking lot and I will enjoy every second of it.

 

[Meat Target]

Come on, dude. This is a game for kids. Always has been, always will be. These kids are, what, 12? 13 at most? If I saw this kind of behavior at the collegiate or minor league level, I'd absolutely tell them to get off my diamond and head to the clubhouse.

That's where and when that cocky attitude takes root. I'm of the school of thought that your playing skill should speak for itself, and that hotdogging hurts you and your teammates.

PL: One of my beer league softball teammates is a tournament player, and is always throwing a fit whenever he grounds out or fucks up a routine play (which is usually because he's trying to be Derek Jeter and fails). I and several others on the team have had to tell him to chill the fuck out.

And now we've realized why they existed...to promote good sportsmanship and team bonding. Doing a whole choreographed touchdown dance for a solo homer up 7 just makes you look like a douche.

A-fuckin-men. It's "only a game", and that humility should be instilled at an early age. I got cut from the high school team freshman year, and while it crushed me at the time, it was probably of the best things to ever happen to me.

Today, in my early 30s, I can just chill out and play for love of the game. I'm not in a dick-measuring contest with the jocks from school. Is it shit? Am I nothing remarkable? Absolutely. But it's *my* shit, and I'm having fun, so if you have a problem with that, then blow me.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Ohtani hits his first homer as a member of the Dodgers and they win 5-4 against the San Francisco Faggots.

His new interpreter may not have a gambling issue but his Japanese is apparently pretty fucking terrible (for an interpreter).

The beginning of this video is very interesting:

 

[AeroGavin Rossdale]

Oh hell yeah, it's unwarranted optimism time. 7 games in and already Sayia is the best Japanese player in the league!

I'm also pretty mad no one in LA or the North Side was willing to make Shota v. Yamamoto happen. It's one game off!

 

[Armor of God]

The beginning of this video is very interesting:

Nice try, but the translator fucked up what Shohei Ohtani actually said. Shohei’s specific words in Japanese were to the effect that the fan was spoken with on his behalf. That’s exactly what happened. He never claimed to have met the fan.

Ohtani’s new interpreter is an incompetent faggot. More importantly, the Dodgers are making amends by giving that couple a pregame on-field experience so they’ll probably end up meeting Shohei while he’s warming up or after batting practice.

 

[Mordecai "3 Finger" Brown]

The Oakland A's will be playing 90 miles away in Sacramento for the next 3 years after this season.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/athletics/2024/04/04/athletics-to-play-2025-27-seasons-in-sacramentos-minor-league-park/73203048007/

That merch store memo to staff that leaked on Twitter this week advising them to minimize the use of "Oakland" in merch branding as much as possible suddenly makes more sense.

 

[Armor of God]

Unfortunately, we have been told for years that any support of the unwritten rules makes you an old crotchety grandpa who hates fun and probably a racist as well (even though players like Bob Gibson were some of the biggest sticklers for them). And now we've realized why they existed...to promote good sportsmanship and team bonding. Doing a whole choreographed touchdown dance for a solo homer up 7 just makes you look like a douche. And it inevitably turns out that all the big bat flippers are locker room cancers too (see: Anderson, T.).

That's where and when that cocky attitude takes root. I'm of the school of thought that your playing skill should speak for itself, and that hotdogging hurts you and your teammates.

I agree with these sentiments. There’s a time and a place for outlandish celebrations and that shit wasn’t it. Traditions matter (at least to me) and kids need to be taught that every single fucking thing isn’t a damned Instagram moment.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Nice try, but the translator fucked up what Shohei Ohtani actually said. Shohei’s specific words in Japanese were to the effect that the fan was spoken with on his behalf. That’s exactly what happened. He never claimed to have met the fan.

Ohtani’s new interpreter is an incompetent faggot. More importantly, the Dodgers are making amends by giving that couple a pregame on-field experience so they’ll probably end up meeting Shohei while he’s warming up or after batting practice.

Settle down. I just said I found the spin interesting. I couldn't care less in any direction.

 

[AeroGavin Rossdale]

.. I thought the interesting bit we were talking about was that players get to set a cap on mile stone balls and that Cincy will send Jewish caricatures to 'oy vey, 20 dollars?' you if you catch one.

 

[TVB]

.. I thought the interesting bit we were talking about was that players get to set a cap on mile stone balls and that Cincy will send Jewish caricatures to 'oy vey, 20 dollars?' you if you catch one.

Imagine being a Reds fan past 2002

 

[Armor of God]

Settle down. I just said I found the spin interesting. I couldn't care less in any direction.

Fair enough. I’ll also add that Samson is one of the absolute rattiest of the rat kikes out there. I can’t stand to listen to that Ben Shapiro-tier nasal voice for more than 2 seconds.

Nice to see Shohei being back among the Homers. Let’s see if he can get to 3 in 3 games. Also curious to see how Yamamoto does.

 

[A.P. Hill]

I agree with these sentiments. There’s a time and a place for outlandish celebrations and that shit wasn’t it. Traditions matter (at least to me) and kids need to be taught that every single fucking thing isn’t a damned Instagram moment.

The "unwritten rules" and the concept of sportsmanship in general also exist because men realize other men get competitive over stupid and unnecessary stuff and there needs to be a way to rein each other back in. If you promote the idea that it's ok to flip your bat for anything or fight the other team for looking at you the wrong way, you inevitably end up with a league where every single team implodes because they have half a dozen selfish cancers in the locker room.

Madison Bumgarner was right. The game today, especially the youth game, is full of self-centered assholes because that's who gets the most attention on TV. MLB deserves the blame for their marketing as well. If you promote the idea that you should celebrate the most routine stuff and try to pad your stats in garbage time and anyone who gets mad at you is just a "hater", you will get a game full of assholes.

 

[Big Fat Frog]

So today I learned about the Savannah Bananas and Banana Ball, and it’s pretty entertaining to watch.

They do flips and shit, dress up in costumes, do choreographed dance routines, they have a guy play on stilts, fans who catch foul balls are counted as outs, they got a couple of retired MLB players in to pitch for an inning. It’s wacky and all in good fun. I wish I found out about it sooner because it’s honestly a blast.

 

[Zaryiu2]

Still looking to get back in on Baseball after the Blue Jays burnout, i know i asked but what is an NL or AL team worth rooting for that isn't a bandwagon but aren't doomed to irrelevance and is fun to watch? (Minor bonus if flying there is not too expensive)

 

[Armor of God]

So not only has Ohtani been raking, but he's now fully exonerated as per the Fed's investigation. Ippei Mizuhara will enter a guilty plea. Case closed and now we can get back to what he does best, which is playing Baseball.

Rob Parker hasn't been on suicide watch this badly since Tom Brady won his 7th Super Bowl.

 

[Fleetwood]

Still looking to get back in on Baseball after the Blue Jays burnout, i know i asked but what is an NL or AL team worth rooting for that isn't a bandwagon but aren't doomed to irrelevance and is fun to watch? (Minor bonus if flying there is not too expensive)

They are doomed to lose and be lolmets but the Mets broadcast team of Keith Hernandez Ron Darling and Gary Cohen is one of the best to watch. New York has multiple airports so probably there are deals and it's very close to LGA airport.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Still looking to get back in on Baseball after the Blue Jays burnout, i know i asked but what is an NL or AL team worth rooting for that isn't a bandwagon but aren't doomed to irrelevance and is fun to watch? (Minor bonus if flying there is not too expensive)

I'm biased, but Cleveland has some stellar pitching so far this year and our hitting has vastly improved from last season. We've got great prospects in the pipeline and young talent on the major league roster that make for exciting games. Pretty much written off since our playoff appearance in 2022, but we've gotten seriously better in the interim.

 

[Dirty Harry]

The Indians Guardians are a fun team to follow, reminds me of the Orioles last season. I listen to some of their games while working out using the MLB at-bat app.

 

[Meat Target]

A bunch of damn dirty Swedes are foisting plant jizz on the Minor Leagues. Teams will adopt this moniker for at least one game this year.


ETA: well I'll be! the Royals are so fuckin' back.

I know it's only April, and it's against the Trashtros, but a 7-game win streak and half a game out of 1st is a stark difference from last year.

 

[Armor of God]

I was watching this video on Ronald Acuna Jr...I mean, he's extremely talented and all but God damn this motherfucker is every stereotype about lazy nigger athletes rolled up into one it seems.

Is it really that hard to just run to 1st Base every time ?