Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Tramadol]

Spoiler: ARCHIVE Brandon Dicamillo's Freestyle Rap

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Dico's was always my favorite of the CKY crew and his freestyle gets me everytime, glad to know he was yaknow actually smart and fucked off from everybody to go live a normal, happy and stable life instead of trying to cling off early 2000s MTV fame

 

[TrippinKahlua]

He thinks all his “friends/guest stars on VLB” he “accumulated” are gonna just drop what their doing to do this fantasy Jackass-on-Meth project.

Sorry Bam; Ville Valo, TurboNegro, Charlie Brown Jr, Clutch, all those bands aren’t even American.

Maybe if you knock on Jen Rivell’s door, she’ll take you back to your glory days. No wait, she won’t. She probably has three kids.

All your “friends” have grown up. The only ones who didn’t are just like you, stuck on hard drugs and booze and gothic medieval fantasy.

I feel bad for April, how she wanted to turn the castle into an Air BnB but of course Bam had to object.

 

[cypocryphy]

It's not even the fact that they're getting old. Jackass was successful in a world before LiveLeak, 4Chan, TikTok challenges, and OnlyFans. Videos of people falling into pits of alligators or drinking their own piss aren't difficult to come by, we've all probably clicked on at least one by accident in our time on the internet, and don't have the same shock/horror value they did 20 years ago. I don't know what kind of stunts they could pull these days that some randomer on the internet hasn't already done for a pittance or social media likes.

Yeah, I can't imagine a lot of zoomers being interested in this movie. It'll mostly be guys who were in high school when Jackass and CKY were big. So, literally me.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

He thinks all his “friends/guest stars on VLB” he “accumulated” are gonna just drop what their doing to do this fantasy Jackass-on-Meth project.

Sorry Bam, Ville Valo, TurboNegro, Charlie Brown Jr, Clutch, all those bands aren’t even American.

Maybe if you knock on Jen Rivell’s door, she’ll take you back to your glory days. No wait, she won’t. She probably has three kids.

All your “friends” have grown up. The only ones who didn’t are just like you, stuck on hard drugs and booze and gothic medieval fantasy.

I feel bad for April, how she wanted to turn the castle into an Air BnB but of course Bam had to object.

Clutch is definitely an American band.

Reports from NYP and TMZ now confirm he had utterly blew his “sober program” repeatedly and when they put their foot down and booted him from the movie and he ran out to California to try using pity and threats to get another try.

Seems this was third or fourth or more failure and they had kept letting him go to some inpatient rehab to try again but he finally wore out all the do-overs.

I do wonder how broke he is or isn’t at this point. I think his parents wisely saved their money and probably controlled some portion of his finances to invest/manage for him, so he’s probably not broke but they also don’t give him free access to blow what’s left. But April paying to renovate his castle crack make it obvious some belt tightening was in order to try and stop bleeding money from that big property now that Bam’s earnings have dried up.

Bam’s attempts at selling tickets to events at his house and asking ppl to send him money reek of him trying to lay hands on cash to spend on drugs since the parents won’t open the money tap or trust access for him until he gets his shit together.

He and his wife also “moved” out to Oceanside without their son. I’d bet the grandparents have legal custody of him because the parents are such utter fuck-ups. Him using his son’s name to try and get pity or money reeks of an addict narc parent who barely ever see the kid they claim to love so much.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

I do wonder how broke he is or isn’t at this point. I think his parents wisely saved their money and probably controlled some portion of his finances to invest/manage for him, so he’s probably not broke but they also don’t give him free access to blow what’s left.

His dad has been his accountant since before Viva La Bam.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

His dad has been his accountant since before Viva La Bam.

Guess that’s how Bam paid for all the impatient rehabs that Paramount insisted on for him to not kicked off the project when he repeatedly failed his drug tests.

His parents have obviously decided they will spend unlimited money towards him getting better, therapy, psychiatrists, etc and paying for his shelter, food any positive stuff...but tell him to kick rocks when he wants cash to blow on drugs.

I wonder how much money he personally even has left, because unless they got some Britney Spears Dad level legal control he probably blew through his personal fortune but I’m sure his parents are sitting on a wisely invested fortune thanks to their earnings during the prime of his career.

I’d love to hear the story about how he ended up flying to Columbia just to get robbed of the $500 he had on him. I guess he figured $500 cash would get you a lot more cocaine in Columbia than Philly. His CC works, but only for business expenses like air tickets and hotels so he flew to the cocaine capital to try to make the most of his $500 cash.

 

[Creep3r]

Spoiler: ARCHIVE Cramp The Stupid with Bam Margera: Da CridNAK Chronicles

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What is it with Bam and his piss and shit fixation? Even on Facebook all his "epic" pranks revolve around people pissing and shitting on each other. He might as well just admit its his creeped out fetish. Also considering his house is filled with druggies and cultish fanboys, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually did like drinking his piss.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I don’t even know how April hasn’t disowned him. All the stress he put her through in VLB, Jackass, and I’m sure all the recognition.

She was always a sweet lady, don’t know how she could birth such a piece of shit.

 

[Kulee Baba]

His dad has been his accountant since before Viva La Bam.

I remember in one scene on Viva La Bam they showed Phil going thru Bam's Insurance with it being the size of a doorstop book. They did a lot of work for him.

Also for all the people who think Bam was an ass for how he treated his father, well they fell for the comedy act. If Phil didn't like how he was treated on the show they wouldn't have been able to get cleared for it.

 

[Cool Dog]

I remember watching jackass in my early teens and thinking bam was just a fucking shithead showoff, the only member of the cast that was completely unlikable

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Guess that’s how Bam paid for all the impatient rehabs that Paramount insisted on for him to not kicked off the project when he repeatedly failed his drug tests.

His parents have obviously decided they will spend unlimited money towards him getting better, therapy, psychiatrists, etc and paying for his shelter, food any positive stuff...but tell him to kick rocks when he wants cash to blow on drugs.

I wonder how much money he personally even has left, because unless they got some Britney Spears Dad level legal control he probably blew through his personal fortune but I’m sure his parents are sitting on a wisely invested fortune thanks to their earnings during the prime of his career.

I’d love to hear the story about how he ended up flying to Columbia just to get robbed of the $500 he had on him. I guess he figured $500 cash would get you a lot more cocaine in Columbia than Philly. His CC works, but only for business expenses like air tickets and hotels so he flew to the cocaine capital to try to make the most of his $500 cash.

Given just how involved they were in his life, I would conservatively estimate that he only managed to blow through around 30-35 percent of whatever he made. It might seem a little low given just how much of a wreck his life has been, but I really do believe that his parents had much tighter control over his finances.

He never was a functioning adult. Before or after the show. He always came off as relying on them for everything in his life. It's no real surprise that his life ended up in despair. He had none of the foundational traits needed to handle the pitfalls that come with success and fame.

 

[Patrick X Tomlinson]

He keeps getting fatter and fatter. His head has tripled in size the past decade. He's going to look like Phil but sound/act like Don Vito in a few years.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

He keeps getting fatter and fatter. His head has tripled in size the past decade. He's going to look like Phil but sound/act like Don Vito in a few years.

He's going to learn the lesson that Chris Farley did that the human heart can't handle both fatness and drug abuse. You have to pick one or the other.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Who would have ever guessed Steve O would have gotten his shit together and Bam Margera would have turned into such a shit show.

Literally anyone, Bam is and always has been a mindless unfunny tard who is the embodiment of everything wrong with Pennsylvania (and by extension the rest of New England) and skate culture in general

 

[Patrick X Tomlinson]

He's going to learn the lesson that Chris Farley did that the human heart can't handle both fatness and drug abuse. You have to pick one or the other.

Or he might be like Artie Lange and just keep on living for some inexplicable reason despite doing pretty much all he can to kill himself with food, drugs, and alcohol. Maybe he's got some Neanderthal DNA.

 

[Picklechu]

Literally anyone, Bam is and always has been a mindless unfunny tard who is the embodiment of everything wrong with Pennsylvania (and by extension the rest of New England) and skate culture in general

Pennsylvania's not part of New England (only Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont are), but the rest is accurate.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Or he might be like Artie Lange and just keep on living for some inexplicable reason despite doing pretty much all he can to kill himself with food, drugs, and alcohol.

...and a knife! Don't forget the knife!

 

[The I Scream Man]

Pennsylvania's not part of New England (only Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont are), but the rest is accurate.

It wants to be, it might as well be. I know its not technically part of New England but so many of the stupid chodes I've ever met who act like Bam and play nothing but CKY videos at house parties up norf are from Connecticut (if they have money) or Pennsylvania (if they don't)

 

[Salade Nicoise]

From memory that CKY easter egg of Bam fucking Jenn... she had her underwear on. Not in a pulled to the side kinda way, like in an obviously they weren't fucking way.

It's been literally like 15 years since I saw it, but she was just grinding on him with her tits out. And they both were looking at the camera. It smacked of 'sick let's put this shit on CKY'. It felt like she was in on it, and defs probably to deflect from Bam getting it from Ville every other night.

Wasn't Jenn an entire trainwreck too? Like she was quite a bit older than Bam, a single Mom, broke into his house or something when they split?

 

[Barbarus]

Wasn't Jenn an entire trainwreck too? Like she was quite a bit older than Bam, a single Mom, broke into his house or something when they split?

All the women in the vicinity of Bam were broken down train wrecks so its entirely possible