Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

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Rogowski said:
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That liver don't look like it's doing too well:
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wtf this almost looks like a colostomy bag
 
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I am Jack's dead arm said:
Pretty obvious he only "quit" drinking was because of the ankle bracelet. If he's still on active probation he's probably fucked.
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If he can't stay clean for three days or doesn't have at least that much time to get the ethyl glucuronide out of his system, he's definitely fucked. ETG testing is how they detect alcohol consumption by someone on parole or probation, this metabolite is only produced from your body being exposed to ethanol. The period from exposure to levels below a triggering threshold is ~72 hours.

Even if they saw you drinking a beer, they can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt it's not an NA beer without that additional evidence.

So if you're on probation and aren't supposed to drink, time it so you have at least three days between your last drink and your piss test.
 
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Rogowski said:
DA UPDATE VOLUME 9001:

After cancelling his tour Bam went on a drinking tour of the UK while sporadically videos on IG blaming everyone else except himself:
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That liver don't look like it's doing too well:
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More rural shithole sightings:View attachment 5957732View attachment 5957733View attachment 5957734View attachment 5957735View attachment 5957736
Throughout this white trash tour of the UK he made many posts bragging about how sober and well adjusted he and Danni are. Here's a one:View attachment 5957757
Then there's the string of rant videos that without fail always contradicts the last video he posted. As I've said previous I'm having trouble posting video here so I'll link the Reddit posts and someone else is free to archive.
One
Pay extra attention to this one, this marks the return of Lima after many months of leaving her alone in peace. In this video he claims he got 5150'd in the UK by 8 police officers and that the cops told him that the welfare check was requested by a soft spoken woman in California (because the cops will totally tell you all this when they do a welfare check)

So what's Bam's solution? Put Donald Trumps lawyers on the case:
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This isn't even the most pathetic part of this update. Bam claimed a few days back he and Dani were going to Norway, however...

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Nevertheless, Bam posted this today on IG:
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Turns out, it's an Adobe stock image:View attachment 5957840
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Jesus, imagine proudly posting you with a stinking, festering, actively rotting BUM, thinking it's some kind of positive endorsement of your business. And imagine seeing the stinking bum's disturbingly distended side-gut and STILL standing close beside him for a picture.
 
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Constellationzero said:
Jesus, imagine proudly posting you with a stinking, festering, actively rotting BUM, thinking it's some kind of positive endorsement of your business. And imagine seeing the stinking bum's disturbingly distended side-gut and STILL standing close beside him for a picture.
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What I liked about it is it shows the universal nature of white trash.

That could just as easily be any trashy bar or hick town in the United States, Canada or Australia. The only real difference between the UK and them is King John IX the Inbred didn't take a shit at Sunnyvale Trailer Park in 1099, or whatever makes half that old crap in Britain worth preserving.
 
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This might be late but I don't remember seeing it before- since when does Bam walk with a cane? Did Vito even need a cane?

Screenshot 2024-05-07 at 15.22.04.pngScreenshot 2024-05-07 at 15.22.31.png
 
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Yeeted Teet said:
I don't remember seeing it before- since when does Bam walk with a cane? Did Vito even need a cane?
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He injured himself while skateboarding back in March. A torn MCL takes a while to fully recover from. I'm not aware of him using a cane before that. Here he is on crutches fighting with his GF, in mid-March.
 
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Elizabeth Olsen said:
I read that original comment like they were asking if it was unethical for the ARTIST to be drunk or high lol.

Half of my tattoos I've gotten I paid for in actual tattoo places with a handful of pain pills or somas. And the artist would always take them way before they started working on me so both of us would be fucked up by the time needle hit skin.
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Post tattoos.
 
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On Tuesday, May 28, the Jackass alum, 44, tied the knot with model Dannii Marie at the Val Verde Historic Hotel in Socorro County, New Mexico, where they are filming the movie Collecting Souls, reports TMZ.


Margera confirmed the news by sharing the outlet's report on Instagram. "To all of our friends and family. We’ve been planning this for a while with the Jim Burlson out here in Socorro New Mexico at this rad historical hotel. Danielle Marie MARGERA, it’s official," he wrote.
 
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I am Jack's dead arm said:

On Tuesday, May 28, the Jackass alum, 44, tied the knot with model Dannii Marie at the Val Verde Historic Hotel in Socorro County, New Mexico, where they are filming the movie Collecting Souls, reports TMZ.


Margera confirmed the news by sharing the outlet's report on Instagram. "To all of our friends and family. We’ve been planning this for a while with the Jim Burlson out here in Socorro New Mexico at this rad historical hotel. Danielle Marie MARGERA, it’s official," he wrote.
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Another unfortunate to add to the "Margera Curse". Watch that he has a kid with this one, and then abandon it because fuck child support am I right?
 
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