I accidentally choked on a Popeye's biscuit and died and reincarnated as a power bottom pastor with a BBL. I'm going to say that again. I accidentally choked on a Popeye's biscuit and died and reincarnated as a power bottom pastor with a BBL.
Hi everyone, it's your boy, Zach, and I don't like things. I'm a critic, I'm criticizing. It's funny to see people just like, Zach, are you okay? You've criticized six people over the last six days.
What the fuck? I'm literally a critic. What it really means is like, Zach, you criticized my YouTube boyfriend. I don't like that.
But anyway, so yesterday was a bad day for me, YouTube-wise. Life-wise, it was fine. YouTube-wise, it was infuriating.
Because like, I waited the whole day, I was busy, and I was like, oh my gosh, I haven't watched, you know, Perch's video from this morning. He usually puts a video out pretty much the same time every morning. And I listened to it, and it's not the worst example of this, but it just felt like it was the final straw.
I've spoken about how, while I like Perch's channel, it's basically my favorite channel, I hate his letter writers so much. To a man, they are just middle-aged guys making every excuse in the world to not read comics. And it's just like, you know, the last one was like, I'm going to talk about a problem, but then say it isn't a problem.
Like, okay. Hey, aren't comics too expensive? But actually, they aren't. Fuck! Shut up! Like, leave! Go away! There's this phenomenon in real estate in America where the baby boomers, my parents' generation, are the first generation to not say like, oh, I'm old.
Let me move in with my kids, or let me move to Florida. And so they're just keeping their houses. They're keeping these giant houses that they raised a family in.
They bought them for $60,000. They're worth literally like $2 million. And they're just like, no, I'm actually building a portico.
You know, there's a comedian. He's fat. He's white.
He's gay. He's blonde. That guy.
He was in Joker too. So he actually used to be a real estate agent. And he talks about this all the time.
Like, this is the first generation that doesn't downsize. And I have found that Gen X is the first generation that doesn't downsize culturally. Like, they are in their 40s to late 50s, and they are not giving up on anything.
All of pop culture has to revolve around them. And if it doesn't, it needs to die along with them. This is the first generation in history that doesn't want to pass on anything culturally.
Star Wars has got to die. Star Trek's got to die. Marvel's got to die.
Comics got to die. Freaking Windows Update's got to die. Everything has to die because these people are in the last few innings.
So like, purchase writers are like, the rotation of the earth is, I don't know. It seems like it's kind of preventing me from reading comics. Don't you agree? Isn't that true? Everything they say is like, something, something bad.
Isn't that true? Like, Perch, I was driving past a comic book shop a block away from my house, and I haven't gone inside of it in 27 years. But I was just thinking about staples. Imagine if a staple got loose from the spine of a comic, and you had a large open wound, and it fell inside the open wound, entered your arteries, and then, you know, went into the veins leading to your heart, and then it went to your brain.
It could kill you. Shouldn't the government shut down all comic book shops for 5 to 10 years, or 15 years, to study this problem? What are you doing here? Every day, it's a new freaking Gen Xer just making the lamest excuse, read them or don't. And then Rob Liefeld, who is 56, 57, so I think he's right at the cusp of being a Gen Xer.
He did this video yesterday that, I've been talking about this. I think he might be the Antichrist. Or un-Antichrist.
Or he just resembles one. So he generally seems like a nice guy, kind of full of himself, but pretty nice. Like, he would be a good neighbor.
He would be, you know, if you went to his church, oh hey Rob, how you doing? But culturally, I hate him. Like, the way he talks about art, there is no art in art. Art is just a contest that is won with money.
Or awards. Like, you know, he was kind of iffy on, you know, one battle after another, but then it, you know, wins Oscars, suddenly it's amazing. Things are good because they were number one in the box office or they got Oscars.
And if you think I'm exaggerating, pay attention. Specifically when he talks about movies. With comics, it's a little different because he will talk about comics he actually liked.
You know, the way a human likes things. But they're all from, like, before 1980. Like, he will talk about Kill Raven, which was not number one and didn't win awards.
But apparently, you know, for the first 12 years of his life, he was able to actually like things. And then he was saying last night, or in the video I watched last night, you know, once he went to high school, he was just socializing, chasing girls. He really didn't, like, he's talking about He-Man.
And he's doing that thing, he's like, I just don't know who this is for. And the reason he's saying that is because he personally did not watch He-Man. So if he didn't watch He-Man, because he was like, whatever, 14 when it came out.
So he's too old for it. Nobody wants to see He-Man. He can't fathom this franchise that's been around for 40 plus years, that's had multiple cartoons, and a movie, and multiple toy lines and revivals, and it's part of the cultural zeitgeist.
He can't comprehend why a movie of it would be made because he personally didn't watch it. And it's just like, God, you guys are so just selfish and self centered. And you can't imagine anything that I keep meaning to do this video where it's like, it's about Kelly Thompson.
And she's like, I just don't see how in a universe with talking raccoons why anyone would be straight. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I have a friend who has this thing. It's brilliant.
He says, say something true, but say it in the way that nobody else is saying it. So my subtitle for that video is going to be bisexual comics writer can't imagine that anyone isn't bisexual. Well, that's how basically Gen X is.
Oh, I'm getting old. Oh, Star Trek is changing. It needs to die and never, it needs to go away.
And then even when their, their rules are followed, somehow they're still salty. It's like they're bringing back, you know, Robert Downey jr. And Chris Evans, you asked for that asshole. You kept saying the only thing people want is just nostalgia for what, like 2012, whenever, whenever the Avengers came out, they just want everything the way it originally was.
Nothing changes. Nobody likes anything. Nobody likes anything that you personally don't like.
And man, the way he was talking about movies, it was, it was literally just, you know, the draft, you know, or the NFL combine. It was just like, Oh, uh, and then this, uh, this, uh, studio presented their stuff. And, and I had, uh, meetings with this guy 30 years ago, it was me and Will Smith.
And we were pitching the mark, which was the green lantern. If there were no twists, that's what it was. This was, he's, he talks about like this, like, this is historical.
Um, yeah. So they went to like three studios in three days and all of them. And he's not even consistent in his beefs.
Like Kevin Feige made Deadpool Wolverine and it was a huge hit, but like two movies ago, Rob Liefeld didn't get a, an invite to the premiere or he got, he, he was invited to the premiere, but he wasn't in the area with like the actors, you know, because he, he drew, you know, cable in what, 1989. And I just, just the way Rob views himself, it's driving me nuts. It's like, dude, you haven't made anything good in 35 years.
And when you made good shit, you had other people helping you out. You had Luis Simonson and later Fabian Nicieza, which you don't even want to, you want to Voldemort. You don't even want to say his name.
Dude, look at everything you made without those two people. It was absolute utter dog shit. Now there was a period in time where this is going to sound kind of overly dramatic, but in American history, there was this feeling that the Vietnam vets were too castigated.
So basically every generation of veteran after then has been just totally glazed, you know? So there was this period of time, like late nineties, early two thousands, where Rob was just attacked and humiliated and bullied. And it was, it was brutal. I remember one of the first viral things that went out, you know, was some guys like, you know, in their early twenties, they found Rob, he was washed up.
He was like 29 or 30. And they literally like chuck a copy of how to draw comics to Marvel way at him. And they're like, maybe, maybe.
And they got like a fricking, literally like a camcorder. And they're like, maybe you want to read this. And I don't know how they even uploaded it to like FTP or something like that.
But it was like, okay, this is, you know, he wasn't the greatest creator ever, but this is, I mean, it was just 10 years of being richly humiliated. And then, you know, there was kind of like, oh, we went too far and the Deadpool movies come out. So he was kind of, you know, he's, he's gotten this elder statesman status, but the way he talks about art is just horrid.
It makes me think of like Cthulhu, like just out there in the void, no stars, no humanity. It's just like, I was, I was making myself laugh because I was just imagining like, you know, I'm getting home from school, you know, early eighties, it's like 1980. My dad's there, why isn't he at work? And he's just got like his head in his hands.
And I'm like, dad, what's wrong? He's like, I just don't know how Kramer versus Kramer is going to do in the international market. I'm, I'm just so worried about it. I mean, you saw what I went through with Tootsie.
Like, it's just like you're 56 and you're, and you're, and you're like screwing your face up. You're like, oh, I'm so worried. I don't know who He-Man is made for.
He-Man fans. He-Man fans. It's okay.
So you're 56 and you just missed it. Like I just missed like Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. And yet I was able to get into Ninja Turtles later.
If I were to operate on this Gen X mindset, it's like, oh, I didn't watch the Ninja Turtles cartoon when it first came out, therefore it shouldn't exist. Oh, Power Rangers, I was too old for that. It should, shouldn't exist.
Nothing should exist except for things I personally like, except for I don't like anything. I just like to see profits on movies from studios that I want to go out of business because I have weird gay personal feuds with like producers and CEOs and... What the fuck? Just, just leave. There's entire generations that have found something new.
Perch letter writers. How about this? Hey, I just read, you know, Absolute 19, Absolute Batman issue 19. And this is, and I remember 20 years ago, they had pacing for the trade.
And this is like pacing for the heart attack. This is like literally a year worth of plot happened in one floppy. And I don't even think it had extra pages.
A couple of issues ago, there was an issue that was like, uh, late, like two weeks because they just, they're like, this fight scene needs more pages. I think it was just a regular length comic and they squeezed a lot into it. Like, holy shit.
But, um, so I just want to reiterate my point from the last, dude, if someone's older than 50, you just gotta be like, when they're like, uh, I saw Empire Strikes Back in the theaters. You need to be like, shut the fuck up. Grandpa leave.
Why are you talking about He-Man and, and, and all this shit? You don't know anything about old man. Fucking go. You haven't made anything good in 35 fucking years.
Shut the fuck up. And goddamn perch. I'm actually, I have more to talk about, but I just want to go get breakfast now.
Um, uh, perch letter writers, please, for the love of God, purchase a resource, use him as a resource. He's been collecting for like 50 years. He had a store for like 25 years.
Why would you go up to a comic book fan of half of a century, a retailer of a quarter of a century or more, and every day just ask the same question in a different way. Aren't comics bad? Aren't comics dying? Aren't comics bad and dying? Aren't comics dying and bad? Shouldn't I not buy comics for infinity plus one reasons? Fucking leave. Nobody will miss you.
I feel like I had some more things I wanted to talk about. Yeah, I just, I think I covered it just a lot more angry than I thought. It bothers me.
Like things have gotten so much better, but like fandom, and I'm not just talking about like the crowdfunding YouTube space. I'm just talking about like, even just like age, you know, demographic cohort wise. I can't talk to any Gen X people.
They just live in this weird fake world where comics died, but they're also dying and they're all like, Marvel will stop publishing comics. I know I've been saying that for 10 years, but in 10 to 20 to 30, the heat death of the universe is going to solve this. Eventually there will be no universe to publish Marvel comics in, and you will get to say as you die, I was right.
You can put out a video with a thumbnail that says, I was right. And like a picture of like Kevin Feige, but the top of his head is like a volcano because he's so angry because he was wrong and he was right. Anyway, thanks for watching.
Bye.
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