Hi everyone, it's your boy Zach, and I was going to talk about something else, but I forget what it was, which is probably a good sign. I don't think it was about me hating old men, but it might have been. So anyway, I saw The Mandalorian and Grogu in theaters, IMAX, last night.
I believe this is the first showing. And full, full IMAX theater, and that's a large theater. It was funny, I kept thinking people were using their cell phones, but a lot of them had like plastic Mandalorian helmets that were highly reflective, so it was kind of distracting.
I was like, everyone's on their cell phones? I was like, no, everyone, they wore their Mandalorian helmets and then they took them off and put them on their knee, and it was like reflecting the screen. Also, I was trying to explain something in a comment, I don't think it quite came through. A lot of this movie is shot from a low angle, to make everything look more heroic and stuff like that.
But I sat in the perfect row that it was almost like a parallax thing, like it almost made it, like I was the angle to the screen that the camera was the angle to the action, and it made it really good. It was actually kind of trippy in some ways, I was like, is this 3D? Because it feels like it. And I didn't have the 3D glasses on.
I got some cards, but it looks like they're all the same card, I don't know what's up with that. But I really liked it. I liked it a lot.
There's, okay, so I'll start off with my complaints, because that's I think how the human mind works now that it's been warped by social media. Two things, number one, there's a scene, my buddy kept saying it was in the middle, it's not in the middle. It's about four fifths of the way through the movie.
And it looks like at some point some executive said, we need more Grogu, Grogu doesn't do a lot in this movie, and he really doesn't. So there's a scene, fuck, it might have been five minutes, it felt like 15, where it's just Grogu doing stuff while the Mandalorian is knocked out, and you might say, oh he gets in a crazy adventure. No, it's just kind of like chores.
It's literally him doing anything. And it looks like he's a puppet for most of that, I actually really like that, him and these buddies he has, and they're all puppets. I think Filoni and Favreau think that everybody watched every episode of everything they've ever made, and they love it all, because they will just, you can always tell when they hold the camera on something, because they think we're going to start clapping.
I was like, okay, some Sesame Street puppets just pulled up in a spaceship, that's kind of fun and funny, but am I supposed to know? Apparently they were a huge deal in season three, I just saw TikTok about that. So there's a Grogu chapter, and it's really made, it really feels like, when people say it's just a couple episodes, they always say three, it's not like three episodes, it's like five episodes, and it's really clear where an episode ends, well, probably chapters. So there's a whole chapter on Grogu, and that's a good time to go to the bathroom, or just go to the lobby and just wander around.
And then the other thing that bothered me was, and I noticed this when I went to go try and watch The Defenders, is they do this thing where they do like fake film grain, but it doesn't look like film grain, it just looks kind of pixelated, not pixelated, there's another word for it. I saw it with that Deathstroke, where the guy was using 3D models, and he would zoom in too close, and it was like bitmapping or something like that. It doesn't look like film grain, it's supposed to look like film grain, it just looks like it's at a weird resolution.
But overall I liked it, and it was kind of a meta thing to watch it, because I kept watching it, and I was having fun. And I was thinking about, there's a whole group of people who are supposed to be my peers, who, well first of all they're not going to see it because they protest everything, and second of all, if they go they're not going to like it, because they programmed themselves just to hate everything. It was total fun.
I was doing an impersonation to my buddy of somebody hating this, like, this Star Wars movie was nothing but like armored bounty hunters getting in fights and flying in spaceships and like special effects and more fights and adventures and getting out of traps, it's like all of those things are good. It's very much in the movie serial Buck Rogers, if you've ever watched those from, those are what, like the 20s, 30s? Oh! Betty Boop. That's what I was going to talk about.
Freaking Betty Boop. So, closeted conservatives are all in a tizzy because a black woman is going to star in a movie about the creator of Betty Boop. Maybe just do a voice for a character, maybe play the character.
It's not like Betty Boop, it's not like Barbie, it's about the relationship with the character and her creator. So it's going to be some indie movie, and it's not even sure if it's going to happen, it sounds like it's just being developed, but Matt Walsh was just, he's gay. I was going to say something else, but I've never been fought on that.
Nobody's ever tried to defend him. Nobody wants to die on the hill that Matt Walsh is straight, it's hilarious, but this is more fun to talk about because I'm not interested in Betty Boop, nobody is, except for this woman who produces Abbott Elementary, a show I've never watched. But it was a fun adventure in the style of serials, which is funny because that's what Star Wars was originally based on, the Buster Crabb serials from the 1930s.
So, oh, one thing I do want to say. I was on the fence of even seeing this until I went to see Mortal Kombat and I saw the trailer, and I was in the exact same seats because I have OCD and I do stuff like that. I was very proud of getting seat F1 to watch F1, and I've told everyone I know I did that and nobody cares, but if you don't have OCD and you want to simulate OCD, just do something like that.
Oh, I'm going to go see F1 and I'm going to sit in seat F1 and it's going to make me so happy and at peace. It was perfect. But yeah, so, good movie, good adventure movie, had a lot of fun.
Full theater, IMAX theater, large theater, lots of people wearing the gear. There was an AT-AT, it just, I didn't see anyone buy it. It just looked like the toy from the toy store, it was 80 bucks, and my friend thought that was crazy, I was like, no, you don't understand, the Galactus head was like 60, so this is like a full AT-AT.
But fun movie, good adventure, okay, more complaints. I was talking to a friend, I think he lasted longer watching The Mandalorian than I did, it was basically between I think like season one and season two, Pedro Pascal just like didn't want to do the show because his face was covered, so he was like either show my face a lot or have the stuntman do all the scenes. And what I remember is the stuntman used to act like Pedro Pascal, who was like mid-forties when he started the role, and he was in good shape, but one of the things I liked about The Mandalorian is he was clearly an older guy, he would kind of move slow, his voice was always kind of low, he was kind of calm, kind of depressed, and so they would match him and they would do a good job.
They would walk in like Pedro Pascal's slow, plodding way. Now it's just clearly like a super-fit 30-year-old guy doing like spin kicks, and The Mandalorian's like in his fifties now, and he wasn't like that in his forties, and this is clearly just a young, fit stuntman. He doesn't move, nothing, it's very clear, and Pedro is barely in the movie, I mean he just has a voice, but I think you can see his face for five, five minutes, ten minutes.
It's a fun time in Star Wars, it's like the Empire is defeated but it still exists and they're kind of doing mopping up operations, there's a lot of, well not a lot, but there's a good amount of X-wings, A-wings, X-wings and A-wings, I'm really getting into any kind of, like I'm playing War Thunder, so I never really cared about spaceships or fighter jets and now I'm super into it, and I finally figured out how to, I was stuck with like the bi-planes on War Thunder, even though I was earning or researching, they call it, other planes, but I couldn't figure out how to get them, but War Thunder is a PC game that was ported to consoles but they didn't really change anything, so there's a lot of times where you have to like move a cursor to a tiny little button and then this one you have to double click, like X, and I was just single clicking it because usually on consoles you just single click things, but finally I double clicked so now I'm getting like the better tanks and the, I haven't gotten any jets yet, but I'm getting the faster, and I'm actually getting pretty good at dogfighting, so it's very exciting, so when they do anything with the dogfight, I will say at one point the Mandalorian calls in an airstrike and I was like, the villains are defeated, you're just kind of blowing up their house, that has like a couple, they were trying to have like a Death Star moment, but imagine if like you blew up the Death Star and like Palpatine and Vader were dead, and also there was never that many people in it, like it was just a structure, you could just use it, it could be a community center on that planet, you know, they could play street poops there at night to keep them from committing crimes, but a fun adventure movie, don't let any dumb culture war shit, I saw one guy, I'm not trying to single him out, but he's like, oh, you know, I'm just Star Wars'd out from both sides, give it another five years, it's like, buddy, I don't want a five-year-old. Harsher gig, is that what they used to say in the 1990s, but uh, once you get to like 45, you can't assume five years left on anything, I've talked about this, a lot of guys just croak around 50, and nobody, they get to 50, it's like everyone else is making it 80, for some reason when a man dies around 50, everyone goes, so like, dude, unless you're like, you're in your 20s or 30s, don't put off anything five years, also it's been, what has it been like, eight years since the last Star Wars movie, because that's what a lot of these guys always say, it's like, you need to let these things sit, uh, sit, and then, you know, it's okay, it's been eight years, weirdly enough, Han Solo is um, what is that phrase, history will be very kind to this, they were doing all the flop flop flop, history has been very kind to the Solo movie, it's a good solid adventure, and actually, it kind of matches um, Mandalorian, which, Mandalorian, I've never been like a huge guy for like the expanded universe, or all that, you know, stuff, I, I only considered the movies to be real, until the tv shows, so it kind of exists in this like, that period of Star Wars fandom, where they would do like a bunch of Dark Horse comics, and then uh, George Lucas would say like, no, and then all that stuff would just be scrubbed from the timeline, but it feels, you know, it's, it's kind of like an expanded universe-esque, using the elements from the Filoni, uh, Favreau stuff, there was a couple of, I don't have like some weird hatred of Filoni, I was a huge fan of him during Clone Wars, now it's just kind of like, he's okay, you know, he's got a good batting average, let's say, but there was a cameo of him in his stupid ass cowboy hat, and I just, this is just, this is, as a guy with a Ra's al Ghul hairline, I hate when guys have full heads of hair, and then their thing is they wear a hat, like, fuck you, fuck you twice, like, I hate you so fucking much, you're, you should be the hair guy, don't be the hair guy and the hat guy at the same time, so he's got his cowboy hat, you're like, okay, he's like the cowboy hat guy, um, I don't think I've ever seen a cowboy hat in Star Wars, so that's kind of distracting, and then he's like in the, the pilot's mess, uh, the mess hall type of area, I guess it's operations technically, but it looked more like a mess hall to me, and then like, you're like, okay, that was his cameo, I got out of the way, I wasn't crazy about it, and then like, they show him as one of the pilots in the X-Wings, I'm like, I prefer the bald Asian guy, he doesn't wear hats, and he should, uh, there's this bald chubby older Asian guy who's like part of the Feloniverse, he was in Ahsoka, and again, even with Ahsoka, everything with Feloniverse, it feels like, oh, you didn't watch all of these three other shows, it's like, no, I didn't, I thought it was fairly well-versed on the Clone Wars, but I don't know anything about Rebels, I thought that was like a show for kids, um, but, uh, anyway, it's getting hot here, so, and I think I ran out of stuff to say, so, um, uh, if you don't see this movie, basically, your 10-year-old self would hate you if you didn't like this movie. It's not a movie to love, it's, it's, you know, those Saturday, I believe the serials originally came out on Saturdays, weekends, I actually don't know, I've heard the phrase Saturday morning serials, but I might be confusing that, so serials were, they were, they were like 10 minutes, and they would be shown before a regular feature length movie, back in the day, they would show like a cartoon and a newsreel, it's like, the Kaiser rolls in on Finland, or some shit like that, uh, they talked like that.
Supposedly, I've heard this, let me know if you guys are, um, experts in this shit, I've heard that that way that we make fun of, like, people who talk like this, they weren't talking like this, just the microphones caught, like, just part of the, they, they wouldn't, how would I say it, they would make your voice sound weird, essentially, it was kind of almost like auto-tuning, but auto-tuning by accident, because the microphones weren't that great, um, that makes a lot more sense than, everybody just talked like this, because, like, my grandma didn't talk like this, she wasn't like, hey, here's your Christmas present, like, they just talked like, kind of slow, you know, like, slow, like old people, but my grandpa wasn't like, bang, zoom, wowee, um, but, uh, yeah, there's been a lot of tangents, it was a fun movie, I had a fun time, um, and so, uh, go check it out, and don't give me any dumb excuses, well, I'm still angry, bro, you ain't got five years left, well, you can't assume you got five years left, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh, Phil Hartman only made it to 49, you know, there's lots of people, they just, uh, Bob Ross, I think he was around 50 too, guys around 50, they just croaking, nobody really cares that much, so go see it, don't be a cunt, your 10-year-old self will hate you, would hate you if you didn't like this movie, it's a bounty hunter in armor with a jet pack fighting bad guys, getting in adventures, rescuing people, getting into traps, getting out, it's cool, go, um, do stuff when you get to the scene where Mandalorian is knocked out and Grogu starts tending him, I guess, I would estimate it's about 10 minutes, yeah, at least for, it felt longer, but I think it was only about 10 minutes, anyway, thanks for watching, bye.
[SPOILER/]