Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[neger psykolog]

This is the thread where you can post the culinary expeditions of Phil & Kat and critique them for not being true & authentic enough (similar in fashion to the Jack Scalfani thread)

No detail is too small, so make sure to talk at length about authenticity, technique and general presentation.

You can talk here about Phil & Kat when it relates to any food items such as cooking, DSP tries it, Instagram posts and anything else.

Examples:

Kat made an appearance on Instagram.

I guess imitation crab and potatoes with a jar of alfredo sauce dumped on it is technically a chowder.

I'll give her props, if that's actually homemade and not from a can. I'll even excuse the fact that there's obviously a ton of imitation crab in there and hope those white chunks are scallops and not potatoes.

The first meal from the soulmaid

It actually looks fairly nice. By Phil's rock-bottom standards it's fucking Michelin star. Brisket isn't cheap though. I'm beginning to think Phil may not be being entirely truthful about his dire finances.

Well...That dinner does not look very impressive to me. Specially, if its her first time making something for him. Effort, Kat...? I dunno, but I have a feeling that Kat is not exactly keen on cooking and cleaning as our favourite gamer said so.

LOL, chucked meat into a slow cooker.

Bread and pasta together? waaat. blasphemy.
Bread rolls are what you have for like quick picnic.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Oh no, not store-bought chicken!
If Kat really loved Phil she'd behead, pluck, and clean a live chicken right in the kitchen.

 

[DiabeticSP]

She can make basic meals all she wants and power to her for breaking Phil's hungry man streak.

But God damn add in some veggies or soemthing. Everything she's made is carbs and meat, usually with a side of more carbs.

I wonder if that's her call or if Phil has a no health food shit at my table rule.

Leanna was a better cook only because she at least tried to mix things up and include something besides carbs.

 

[Adamska]

Kat honestly isn't that bad; she's about the same as Leanna with the only thing worse being her foods tend to be unhealthier. The ones quoted here need to step back from Phil, ease back on compulsively sperging, maybe pick a new part of the site to look through a bit, and gain a bit of perspective.

 

[Edge]

People are really desperate to find a reason to bash her cooking

 

[neger psykolog]

Kat honestly isn't that bad; she's about the same as Leanna with the only thing worse being her foods tend to be unhealthier. The ones quoted here need to step back from Phil, ease back on compulsively sperging, maybe pick a new part of the site to look through a bit, and gain a bit of perspective.

People are really desperate to find a reason to bash her cooking

Its pretty much the same kind of thing in the Jack Scalfani thread to an extent.
Everyone picks apart his meals to such an extent about how he cooked chili wrong or some shit because he didn't follow the chili making rules and regulations.

I enjoy reading that thread so I hope this thread will be similar.

 

[BoingBoingBoi]

People are really desperate to find a reason to bash her cooking

anything can be critiqued, but i think some of the whining on his instagram is pretty dumb.

the sliders and macaroni salad seemed fine. double carbs and peas are barely a vegetable but still not terrible.

the "chowder" was weird. first he said seafood stew, but it eventually became a chowder. the result appears to be neither. it is too overloaded to be a chowder, but too thick to be a stew. What it really looks like is the filling for a seafood pot pie, which might be nice. I'm all but certain that's imitation crab-meat, and i'm pretty sure the potatoes, specifically the one on the right, are undercooked, otherwise how could the one on the right retain its perfect shape after being mixed with all the other ingredients?

the enchaladas were indeed dried out. but given how even the browning is, i wonder if he has a convection oven rather than a conventional one, which she might not be used to. dumping a can of salsa on top seems a bit odd though. also points deducted for not having sour cream and fresh chopped cilantro as a garnish.

 

[Done]

Its pretty much the same kind of thing in the Jack Scalfani thread to an extent.
Everyone picks apart his meals to such an extent about how he cooked chili wrong or some shit because he didn't follow the chili making rules and regulations.

I enjoy reading that thread so I hope this thread will be similar.

The difference is that Jack's meals are a complete mess, you can't even call then food.

Kat may not be the best cook, but her food is far superior to Scalfani's.

 

[neger psykolog]

The difference is that Jack's meals are a complete mess, you can't even call then food.

Kat may not be the best cook, but her food is far superior to Scalfani's.

Yeah I know, but I just love reading cooking critiques when its speaking about someone who is obviously not a trained professional chef and isn't putting themselves out as such (more so in this case than Jacks)

 

[Adamska]

I honestly can't do a running commentary for Kat's cooking like I do Jack's. Kat's food looks reasonably appetizing for homestyle 'fuggit' cooking and seems decently prepared. Unhealthy sure, but it should still be reasonable if you took a bite of it.

Hell, the only thing I can do is mock how Phil can shove away that many enchiladas and so on. Or mock how he pathetically lies about how he'll leave the rest as left-overs in spite of his bitch-tits and paunch. Or how he very likely is desperately drunk texting a girl ten years his younger with instagram photos about how awesome his new girl is, tears of rage and wounded ego due to her leaving him visibly in eyes.

 

[Done]

Yeah I know, but I just love reading cooking critiques when its speaking about someone who is obviously not a trained professional chef and isn't putting themselves out as such (more so in this case than Jacks)

I honestly can't do a running commentary for Kat's cooking like I do Jack's. Kat's food looks reasonably appetizing for homestyle 'fuggit' cooking and seems decently prepared. Unhealthy sure, but it should still be reasonable if you took a bite of it.

Hell, the only thing I can do is mock how Phil can shove away that many enchiladas and so on. Or mock how he pathetically lies about how he'll leave the rest as left-overs in spite of his bitch-tits and paunch. Or how he very likely is desperately drunk texting a girl ten years his younger with instagram photos about how awesome his new girl is, tears of rage and wounded ego due to her leaving him visibly in eyes.

What I find funny in this thread isn't her food, which looks pretty decent as you said, it's Phil's attitude towards it and how he thinks he has it made now that he has a new maid.

You see him capitalizing the word HOMEMADE in every post, and photographing every single meal or treat he gets, his whole Instagram stream is now a giant reply to every single microwave dinner joke he got post-Leanna.

What's also hilarious is that it's actually working in a way, there are people who are so clearly triggered that they try to nitpick his every meal, whether it's deserved or not, people pointing out that it's store-bought chicken or enchiladas like that isn't something everyone does. I'm pretty sure with a little research, you're gonna find some degree of overlap between those people and the ones who kept making the microwave dinner jokes. It's just how the DSPsphere works..

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Its pretty much the same kind of thing in the Jack Scalfani thread to an extent.
Everyone picks apart his meals to such an extent about how he cooked chili wrong or some shit because he didn't follow the chili making rules and regulations.

I enjoy reading that thread so I hope this thread will be similar.

Similar, but with less salmonella.

 

[RobVC3]

As someone who makes Enchilada's regularly, WTF is that shit up there?
It looks like someone tried to burn some cheese on a tortilla with some unknown meat in it while calling salsa proper sauce.

Someone find me the 'Its time to stop' Gif please, go plaster it on her twitter while I go make some real Enchilada's to get the taste I could only imagine out of my mouth.

At least use a cheese that can properly melt and not burn it, take a little bit and go get some real sauce instead of throwing salsa on it, like come on. And bet you it wasn't even baked and she just threw it in the microwave.

/endrant

 

[Dragoonism]

She can make basic meals all she wants and power to her for breaking Phil's hungry man streak.

But God damn add in some veggies or soemthing. Everything she's made is carbs and meat, usually with a side of more carbs.

I wonder if that's her call or if Phil has a no health food shit at my table rule.

Leanna was a better cook only because she at least tried to mix things up and include something besides carbs.

Dont you remember what happened last time he ate sallad? He almost died!

 

[StylishAcolyte]

I just genuinelly laugh at Phil when he says his food is "homemade" or "AUTHENTIC ITALIAN X" and the next thing you see it's all wallmart ingredients.

That's like me being latino and calling my generic pizza "Authentic mexican homemade pizza" because i did it at home.

 

[Don Kang]

I honestly can't do a running commentary for Kat's cooking like I do Jack's. Kat's food looks reasonably appetizing for homestyle 'fuggit' cooking and seems decently prepared. Unhealthy sure, but it should still be reasonable if you took a bite of it.

Exactly, she has that Midwestern housewife cooking mentality. Probably learned it from her crazy-ass mother when she wasn't screaming biblical verses at her possessed sister.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I think it's pretty clear she's at the baseline level of competency for that sort of just after college age first time cooking for yourself seriously period.

She's got a way to go before she's housewife approved though. If she's not doing anything else all day, she could at least try something a bit more exciting.

Get that Pinterest working. Take a culinary class if Phil let's her out of the house.

Phil's standards are so low that I doubt she'll do much more than we've seen, so I doubt we'll get any trainwrecks or masterpieces.

I honestly hope she improves because she at least deserves pride in her cooking after dealing with Phil all day. Especially as the biznes deteriorates.

 

[JackDavis]

Its pretty much the same kind of thing in the Jack Scalfani thread to an extent.
Everyone picks apart his meals to such an extent about how he cooked chili wrong or some shit because he didn't follow the chili making rules and regulations.

The Jack thread is a lot about him being a fucking asshole, and also him giving cooking advice when he has no real insight to give. It's like when he did a video on cooking an omelete, and the look of disgust on his face while he looked at the camera about how someone could be that dumb to not know how to cook one, was palatable. Then he goes on to crack the first two eggs by hitting them together, then cracking the last one by punching it.

With Kat, she's not the one putting this stuff out there. She's never said a word about how good or bad her cooking is. It's her attention whore boyfriend. She clearly just wants to exist in Phil's house for free and if the price she pays is her boyfriend taking pics of her normal ass food, then so be it.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

Kat seems to be nothing more than your basic, below average cook with room for improvement. She doesn't seem to fuck anything up too badly and the food looks alright, nothing special. People here nitpick it to death like they're Michelin star chefs or something. Phil likes to think having a gf that cooks for him makes him special and her his soulmate, which is a laughably immature thing to believe when every couple cooks for each other.

 

[Sparkletor]

Honestly, why would someone spend time and effort on a fancy meal when we all know Phil wolfs that shit down as fast as he can to get back to streaming? He probably leaves his dishes on the table too, no time for the king to clean.