Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[Sparkletor]

On thanksgiving (and other times previously) Phil said he doesn't know how to make mashed potatoes. It's the Christmas season and I'm feeling generous, so here's the secret to this age old secret recipe.

1. Boil the potatoes
2. Mash the potatoes

Once you've mastered the above steps, you can get real fancy and add milk and butter or even some spices. Maybe some cheese or chives. Go crazy and add some bacon bits.

 

[Synth]

On thanksgiving (and other times previously) Phil said he doesn't know how to make mashed potatoes. It's the Christmas season and I'm feeling generous, so here's the secret to this age old secret recipe.

1. Boil the potatoes
2. Mash the potatoes

Once you've mastered the above steps, you can get real fancy and add tard cum and butter or even some spices. Maybe some cheese or chives. Go crazy and add some bacon bits.

I'm curious about what drives his line of thinking to not learn anything new. Sure, it's easy enough to just chalk up to laziness, but there's gotta be something more to it.

When they got the air fryer, his excuse was waiting for a cookbook or recipes from his mother before they would cook anything in it. Their use of things like Tuna Helper and Uncle Ben's would lead you to believe they refuse to cook anything even as simple as rice and pasta. They use frozen patties to make their chicken burgers, so they won't even fry meat.

Actually, the more I think about it, it does sound like pure laziness. The dude works from fucking home, man. He has a half hour break during his day stream he could do any small prep work to get the meal ready for the night, then cook and eating during the 3 hour break between streams. And he has a woman in the house who would probably be more enthusiastic with helping if he put a little bit of effort in.

I was thinking he was hesitant to try new foods or that he wouldn't eat things his mother didn't approve of first or some weird shit like that, but it just seems like laziness at this point. They've probably got cabinets full of kitchen appliances they used once and proceeded to banish to the chaos realm.

 

[Adamska]

I'm curious about what drives his line of thinking to not learn anything new. Sure, it's easy enough to just chalk up to laziness, but there's gotta be something more to it.

When they got the air fryer, his excuse was waiting for a cookbook or recipes from his mother before they would cook anything in it. Their use of things like Tuna Helper and Uncle Ben's would lead you to believe they refuse to cook anything even as simple as rice and pasta. They use frozen patties to make their chicken burgers, so they won't even fry meat.

Actually, the more I think about it, it does sound like pure laziness. The dude works from fucking home, man. He has a half hour break during his day stream he could do any small prep work to get the meal ready for the night, then cook and eating during the 3 hour break between streams. And he has a woman in the house who would probably be more enthusiastic with helping if he put a little bit of effort in.

I was thinking he was hesitant to try new foods or that he wouldn't eat things his mother didn't approve of first or some weird shit like that, but it just seems like laziness at this point. They've probably got cabinets full of kitchen appliances they used once and proceeded to banish to the chaos realm.

It's the laziness and mental indolence brought about by never having to lift a finger, as mommy spoiled him rotten. Also some autism too, because only a sped makes a schedule for tendies. Seriously, it's not hard to form a burger patty, or let a chicken breast thaw, then fucking bake/skillet cook them. Even easier to cube some potatoes, drizzle oil and salt on them, and let the air fryer cook them for a ~20-25 minutes or so to get decent oven fries.

I mean, even with Cooking with the Pig, the only thing he ever seriously cooked was an egg, and this one failed attempt at a grilled tuna salad sandwich using his panini press. Pig too lazy and mentally constipated to cook.

 

[Synth]

It's the laziness and mental indolence brought about by never having to lift a finger, as mommy spoiled him rotten. Also some autism too, because only a sped makes a schedule for tendies. Seriously, it's not hard to form a burger patty, or let a chicken breast thaw, then fucking bake/skillet cook them. Even easier to cube some potatoes, drizzle oil and salt on them, and let the air fryer cook them for a ~20-25 minutes or so to get decent oven fries.

I mean, even with Cooking with the Pig, the only thing he ever seriously cooked was an egg, and this one failed attempt at a grilled tuna salad sandwich using his panini press. Pig too lazy and mentally constipated to cook.

The retarded shit about the turkey burgers and using frozen patties is that I would guarantee that he has a meat grinder in that fucking kitchen somewhere, shoved off into the furthest corner possible all sad and alone, having been used exactly one time.

It's so easy to see Panda, since she seemed to actually want to cook food in the little we saw of her, getting him to buy one and she uses it once or twice to make some turkey burgers and realizes that Phil is putting in no effort and not helping with making the food or cleanup. There's probably a dozen appliances in that kitchen that haven't been used in 2-3 years.

What's more ludicrous is how vehement he is about mentioning that he doesn't eat fast food anymore, yet he knows about all the new products and has opinions on all of them. Sure, Jan, you don't eat Taco Bell, but you have a very exact opinion on that new combo meal they have out with whatever promotional pseudo-Mexican shit is on the menu.

It's all a fucking farce. Khet's probably eating fucking insta-mash and that might be why Dave doesn't like them.

 

[tzgnilki]

Phil, do you still pour bacon grease down the toilet?

Paraphrasing Phil's answer from December 18th 2019 "Umm, no! I actually have a food disposal unit in my sink. You are supposed to put all.food waste down the sink into the food disposal unit. It's so great. My old condo didn't have one."

Hmm... I'm not so sure Phil, let's ask Google. "Google, is it safe to dump bacon grease down the garbage disposal?"

View attachment 1058495

I remember him mentioning jasper attacking flies that buzz around the kitchen sink

just how clogged is it

 

[actually]

I remember him mentioning jasper attacking flies that buzz around the kitchen sink

just how clogged is it

Probably not clogged. But definitely not cleaned.

 

[Kosher Dill]

"Jasper keeps chasing the plague rats that are always running around. I guess it's true, cats have that predatory instinct!"

 

[Kermit the Frog]

I remember him mentioning jasper attacking flies that buzz around the kitchen sink

just how clogged is it

Found video of this thanks to PigPigGo, typed in "kitchen sink" and it was one of the first results. God bless the person who created that wonderful site.
To the point, Phil nonchalantly talks about Jasper killing the flies around the kitchen sink. He's happy Jasper does this because otherwise the flies would be buzzing around the condo. Instead of wondering why there are flies coming out from the kitchen sink, where he dumps all his leftovers and grease, when they're not in other sinks, he acts like it's a totally normal thing that he doesn't need to do anything about.

Time stamp is 39:13

 

[Sparkletor]

A bit of Powerlevel, my cat poops and pees in a litter box and then buries it using its feet. This is one of the reasons I don't let my cat jump on the dinner table, the kitchen counters, or anywhere else I prepare food.

Why does Phil let Jasper do whatever he wants? Jasper is jumping on the table, the counter tops and allegedly tried to jump on the stove while it was on.

I guess if you spend all day swallowing snot and eating earwax a little bit of feline fecal bacteria isn't that big of a concern. Phil did also drop his bread on the floor and still used it to make a sandwich and videotaped it.

 

[tzgnilki]

Found video of this thanks to PigPigGo, typed in "kitchen sink" and it was one of the first results. God bless the person who created that wonderful site.
To the point, Phil nonchalantly talks about Jasper killing the flies around the kitchen sink. He's happy Jasper does this because otherwise the flies would be buzzing around the condo. Instead of wondering why there are flies coming out from the kitchen sink, where he dumps all his leftovers and grease, when they're not in other sinks, he acts like it's a totally normal thing that he doesn't need to do anything about.

Time stamp is 39:13

the flies are definitely there for the moisture and not the rancid bacon grease

 

[Freshtodeath]

He just said he had breakfast with his family. That is such a weird way to refer to you and your wife.

 

[Sparkletor]

He just said he had breakfast with his family. That is such a weird way to refer to you and your wife.

And his son Jasper

 

[Adamska]

To be a fly in the Pig Pen watching Pig and Khet eat precooked tendies from mommy in silence.

Had a nice Christmas dinner with family myself, and can't help but imagine a Christmas Carol with Pig serving as Scrooge.

 

[Salubrious]

He just said he had breakfast with his family. That is such a weird way to refer to you and your wife.

I think it just shows how dense DSP is. Here is the quotation:

Had a great Christmas morning breakfast with my family! I can’t remember the last time we cooked and ate a real breakfast together so it was much enjoyed and appreciated!

Uh, how about every day? DSP starts streaming at "10 am" (usually closer to 10:15-10:30) and Kat if she's still working seems to work in the afternoon/early evenings. DSP and Kat can have breakfast EVERY morning!

 

[James Smith]

11:59 AM tweet about "morning breakfast".

 

[Adamska]

View attachment 1067454
11:59 AM tweet about "morning breakfast".

First time in a while Pig woke up early I guess. Either way, this is such a flex to cry about how busy he is or some shit. And you know they probably microwaved some Schwans or something.

 

[Sparkletor]

The other day someone asked where Kat was. Phil said she's downstairs eating breakfast. This was at 12:15 pm his time.

The reason they don't eat breakfast as a family is because Kat wakes up at noon.

If eating food together as a family was important, wouldn't Kat get up at 10:00 am and eat with Phil?

-------------------------
Edit: Further evidence

One hour into the video

At the one hour mark, Phil remarks he can smell Kat cooking a French toast bagel for breakfast. We know Phil starts streaming gameplay at around 12:00pm. This means Kat was making breakfast at 1:00pm.

 

[Equinox_]

Merry Christmas and happy new years to all you filthy detractors.

Let us hope the show writers have a great season in store for us in 2020, the teasing of the foreclosure saga is a great one but let's hope it's not the final season.

And be sure to enjoy your feasts of prepared Schwann's and QVC. Brought to you by Khet and Mama Burnell

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

To be a fly in the Pig Pen watching Pig and Khet eat precooked tendies from mommy in silence.

Had a nice Christmas dinner with family myself, and can't help but imagine a Christmas Carol with Pig serving as Scrooge.

I’d be more interested in seeing the look on his face every other day when kat serves him mashed potatoes. I imagine every other dinner he’s making a face comparable to the defeated scowl he had last Christmas stream when the depression took over.

Like seriously who doesn’t like mashed potatoes, I’m picky as shit and I love them, he’s whined what twice about this already? We all know that means it’s eating dark alive he’s gotta put up with these mashed potatoes

 

[tzgnilki]

I’d be more interested in seeing the look on his face every other day when kat serves him mashed potatoes. I imagine every other dinner he’s making a face comparable to the defeated scowl he had last Christmas stream when the depression took over.

Like seriously who doesn’t like mashed potatoes, I’m picky as shit and I love them, he’s whined what twice about this already? We all know that means it’s eating dark alive he’s gotta put up with these mashed potatoes

dave usually eats like a king, and mashed potatoes are a poor man's food

but how dull are your mash potatoes, chuck some onions, spices & pumpkin in there