Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[Falcon Sebben]

I agree and from what we have pieced together it was not Phil's own idea, it was his mother's - a few years ago he told her he could not afford a Thanksgiving meal (yes really), she fell for it (don't act surprised), and that began the tradition of yearly QVC meals - this year was just sides but in the past she has paid for entire meals including the turkey. She was born in the mid 1950s so she's old enough to remember when QVC was relevant and might be too white trash/Internet illiterate to use other ways of arranging for Phil's Thanksgiving pig slop like Doordash or online ordering through Fred Meyer. Hell, she might not even know they exist.

Mama Scalfani has always done everything for her little Philbert.

When his parents visited them what did they do? They helped to paint, clean up, move things around, do some gardening and basic shit while Philthy sat up in his office "working". Honestly if that was me I'd be ashamed to ask them to do this. He's an adult and should be doing this himself. Learn while doing. Besides painting isn't difficult. It just takes a bit of time. When you were younger and moving into your first place you'd call your friends over, you'd spend a Saturday painting while getting high on paint fumes and beer. You of course supply the pizza and beer. That's how that works. But when you're his age you do it yourself. It's not that hard.

But no. His parents do everything they can for him because they know they raised a retard.

 

[Iron Father]

Although I gotta give him props for using actual plates and not just using paper plates like he normally does.

I wonder if our constant mockery of the paper plates had an impact?

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

I wonder if our constant mockery of the paper plates had an impact?

Unlikely. The more likely thing is he bought that new dishwasher. Remember that emergency?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Unlikely. The more likely thing is he bought that new dishwasher. Remember that emergency?

Two people in a household where neither one cooks and you don't need a dishwasher. It takes no time to do dishes when it's only two people.

 

[Iron Father]

Yeah on one hand it would be peak DSP to secretly buy a new dishwasher (or it was just never even broken) but at the same time why do 2 people who order out constantly even need one?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Yeah on one hand it would be peak DSP to secretly buy a new dishwasher (or it was just never even broken) but at the same time why do 2 people who order out constantly even need one?

For the occasional times they actually use it? Or maybe it's just going to be filled with coffee cups and they'll actually plate their takeout meals now because the dishwasher works. Or maybe it's just one of those big boy things that we all know Philbert wants because it shows he's an adult?

Honestly sometimes it's just really difficult to figure out why he does anything.

 

[Iron Father]

It reminds me of his expensive coffee maker. Why did he ever buy that? Most we saw him use it was trying to make a Cup Noodle. Pure consoomer and status symbol retardation.

 

[LiquidCancer]

He uses those plates every year for Thanksgiving. Its like the fine china even though its just $4 Ikea plates.

He'll be back to the paper tomorrow.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

t reminds me of his expensive coffee maker. Why did he ever buy that?

It's because he could. He was getting a lot of money and wanted to spend it.

He uses those plates every year for Thanksgiving. Its like the fine china even though its just $4 Ikea plates.

He'll be back to the paper tomorrow.

He's used paper plates for Thanksgiving before when it was just him in the Gout Mansion. So the only reason he's using those is because of Khet.

As for the price, who really cares what your plates are made from when it's just you and your roommate eating some QVC crap off of.

 

[Negative Toxic Loser]

As for the price, who really cares what your plates are made from when it's just you and your roommate eating some QVC crap off of.

Expensive QVC crap, which means it's fancy.

 

[UncleTusky]

It's because he could. He was getting a lot of money and wanted to spend it.


He's used paper plates for Thanksgiving before when it was just him in the Gout Mansion. So the only reason he's using those is because of Khet.

As for the price, who really cares what your plates are made from when it's just you and your roommate eating some QVC crap off of.

It wasn't just during the Single Saga, he used paper plates for Thanksgiving 2020 too:

(Original Instagram Post, Archive)

Personally I really doubt Kat cares about real plates because she's trailer trash - remember, before moving in with Phil she was constantly couch surfing in the boonies with frequent moves as her marks realized she was not pulling her weight. Even a QVC meal on paper plates is probably a step up from most of her Thanksgivings back in Michigan.

My guess for why he used paper plates in 2020 and real ones now was that he got sloppy in 2020. Between the broken dishwasher and his off hand comments we know that he uses paper plates fairly often, but the overwhelming majority of his food posts on Instagram use real plates. He probably made a point of using real plates for meals he planned to show off on Instagram because he knows Kiwis would laugh at paper plates but in 2020 he either forgot the lie and used paper plates, or he didn't have enough clean real plates and used paper ones out of necessity.

Edit to avoid double post: Personally I suspect he has some weird hangup that makes him not go for seconds. He doesn't exercise, lives on instant gratification, and eats portions that would be overkill for anyone other than serious athletes but he's "just" fat instead of being a deathfat. If he goes for seconds they're probably limited to snacks/dessert only.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It wasn't just during the Single Saga, he used paper plates for Thanksgiving 2020 too:
View attachment 3948618
(Original Instagram Post, Archive)

Personally I really doubt Kat cares about real plates because she's trailer trash - remember, before moving in with Phil she was constantly couch surfing in the boonies with frequent moves as her marks realized she was not pulling her weight. Even a QVC meal on paper plates is probably a step up from most of her Thanksgivings back in Michigan.

My guess for why he used paper plates in 2020 and real ones now was that he got sloppy in 2020. Between the broken dishwasher and his off hand comments we know that he uses paper plates fairly often, but the overwhelming majority of his food posts on Instagram use real plates. He probably made a point of using real plates for meals he planned to show off on Instagram because he knows Kiwis would laugh at paper plates but in 2020 he either forgot the lie and used paper plates, or he didn't have enough clean real plates and used paper ones out of necessity.

And again, two plates of food. Instead of putting less on the plate and going back for more, it's two plates... with empty spaces on them.

But Khet is such a good cook in the kitchen. She loves to cook and clean and take care of the Gout Masion. Philbert said so. You're not calling him a liar when he's the most honest and real guy on the internet. Or so he says.

 

[Iron Hamster]

And again, two plates of food. Instead of putting less on the plate and going back for more, it's two plates... with empty spaces on them.

Can't have the sides docking with the meat.

 

[Iron Father]

It's because he could. He was getting a lot of money and wanted to spend it.

It's really interesting to me how, the more you learn about his mother, the more you see where he gets a lot of his habits from.

He talks about how his mother loves shopping and sending him random junk.

Well he bought the expensive coffee maker, the weird plunger, the anti-sweat travelling clothes, the ear wax sucker, it's clear this dude is a mark for adverts and has more money than braincells.

I bet his mother used to hit the slot machines too.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Mama Scalfani has always done everything for her little Philbert.

I think you've mixed up the names of two 100% authentic italian youtube professionals who are best known for having strokes.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

It's really interesting to me how, the more you learn about his mother, the more you see where he gets a lot of his habits from.

He talks about how his mother loves shopping and sending him random junk.

Well he bought the expensive coffee maker, the weird plunger, the anti-sweat travelling clothes, the ear wax sucker, it's clear this dude is a mark for adverts and has more money than braincells.

I bet his mother used to hit the slot machines too.

I think he mentioned his mother buying lottery and scratch tickets, which are the weed of the gambling world compared to slots which are the heroin of gambling or gacha which is the krokodil of gambling.

 

[Iron Father]

It all makes so much more sense.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

It all makes so much more sense.

To put some more KAHNTEKST to it, he said that back in 2017-2018ish when he admitted to buying lottery tickets weekly, so he's picked that habit up from Mommy Dearest.

He hasn't talked about playing the lottery since then, it's always in past tense when he talks about lottery or scratch tickets now. Now it is very much possible that gacha has completely replaced it, but at the same time in the span of just a year Phail moved the goalpost from "I never play mobile games" to "I always told you guys that I play mobile games but they're free or only require a dahller to progress" (or 16.51 amirite) to the current Grand Narrative of "I was always trooffull and ahnest about playing mobile games, I play 2 actively and sometimes a third but it's not that STOOPID game that the IDIYATIC TROLLZ talk about!" So God knows if he still plays the lottery.

 

[Burl McMillan]

To put some more KAHNTEKST to it, he said that back in 2017-2018ish when he admitted to buying lottery tickets weekly, so he's picked that habit up from Mommy Dearest.

He hasn't talked about playing the lottery since then, it's always in past tense when he talks about lottery or scratch tickets now. Now it is very much possible that gacha has completely replaced it, but at the same time in the span of just a year Phail moved the goalpost from "I never play mobile games" to "I always told you guys that I play mobile games but they're free or only require a dahller to progress" (or 16.51 amirite) to the current Grand Narrative of "I was always trooffull and ahnest about playing mobile games, I play 2 actively and sometimes a third but it's not that STOOPID game that the IDIYATIC TROLLZ talk about!" So God knows if he still plays the lottery.

I kind of hope he still does. Hell, I hope he wins. Could you imagine the multi-millionaire Phil saga?

Day 1: "Hello everyone, great news! Yesterday was the Mega Millions draw and guess what? I won! Now, if you don't know what the lottery is and how it works *snort* here's what happens...
Day 7: "SnowKarl it's none of your fucking business if I already paid off what I owe for my bankruptcy settlement, so shut the fuck up and stop asking stupid fucking moronic questions."
Day 15: "Now for stupid morahns out there who don't know how lotteries work, basically it doesn't mean that just because I won $50 million dollars it means I actually have that much. After the government gets its taxes, and because I took the lump sum amount, I maybe only really got $100,000 out of it. For someone who has real mature adult bills, that's not a lot."
Day 18: "Again guys it's nearly half-way through our stream, if you like this content please please consider supporting the channel. I have massive bills coming this week and I don't think I even have enough to go out with my wife *thumb to door* this week."

 

[UncleTusky]

To put some more KAHNTEKST to it, he said that back in 2017-2018ish when he admitted to buying lottery tickets weekly, so he's picked that habit up from Mommy Dearest.

He hasn't talked about playing the lottery since then, it's always in past tense when he talks about lottery or scratch tickets now.

And his reason for playing the lottery was that if he played long enough, sooner or later he was certain to win .

Now it is very much possible that gacha has completely replaced it, but at the same time in the span of just a year Phail moved the goalpost from "I never play mobile games" to "I always told you guys that I play mobile games but they're free or only require a dahller to progress" (or 16.51 amirite) to the current Grand Narrative of "I was always trooffull and ahnest about playing mobile games, I play 2 actively and sometimes a third but it's not that STOOPID game that the IDIYATIC TROLLZ talk about!" So God knows if he still plays the lottery.

The bank leaks suggest that he does not buy lottery tickets anymore: In the states where I have lived the only places that sold lottery tickets were convenience stores (where they are sold behind the counter just like cigarettes) and grocery stores (where they were sold in dedicated vending machines or at the customer service counter). They were never just in store aisles like any other item.

The leaks don't show any convenience stores so that's right out and if he were buying them at Fred Meyer we'd see two entries for a purchase at Fred Meyer whenever he went there, one for the lottery ticket and one for the rest of his groceries. Phil might really have been True and Honest here.