FB 6/20 - Rant on Sonichu's age

[Optimus Prime]

Also I don't get his last two comparisons about Celestia and XJ9? Celestia is supposed be thousands of years old because she's like their god or something and XJ9 was designed to have a teenage brain regardless of how old she is. That doesn't really have anything to do with cartoon logic, it's just lore.

With XJ9/Jenny, it's probably because of one specific episode of that cartoon where a truant officer overhears her casually mention to one character (the one madly in love with her that she's oblivious to) that she's technically only 5 years old (because she was built 5 years ago), prompting the officer to take the killer android teenager and throw her into kindergarten. Her mother bails her out at the end with a flip-book of Jenny's construction and stating she was built to be a teenager (no I'm not making that up).

I only remember that episode because of just how fucking surreal it was, even for the premise of a teenage robot that went to high school and fought evil.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I like that Chris is still using english slang like bloody.

Megan has always looked good, and here, she is REALLY HOT! Even better than when she had her makeover. If Seth would let her turn 18, I would be all over her sweet pussy and breasts!
Wham Bam, Thank You Maam!

Didn't they have an episode where Quagmire acted in that exact way?

Maybe he has a female soul too, a very feminine way to act!

Actually does that mean Chris is just lying about his age prefrence on dating sites? Going instead with the half your age plus 7 thing for minimum dating age when in reality he'd be more than happy to date a boygirlfriend free girl in their late teens to early twenties?

 

[Trilby]

"Stupid exceptional individuals, they're old enough, because television. Geez!"

No Chris, this is a comic (though I know he treats it like a TV show anyway)!

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

I never bothered looking into the more pedo-tastic implications of these characters' ages. Chris envisioned them as late teens/early twenties regardless if whatever plotholes that causes.

 

[JULAY]

Folks, here it is, the long awaited, time-honored greatest hits of Christian Weston Chandler... Including such classics as:

Unnecessary Capitalization!

The new but beloved CWC Briticism "Bloody!"

UGH! And now with even more UGH!

And everyone's favorite, unseen for a long time, STRESS SIGH!

Call now, because these CWC greatest hits won't last long... And for a limited time, you can get twice as much CWC for the low, low price of whatever his lowest Patreon donation tier is!

Don't wait, call now!

No, wait, Don't Call Anybody!

 

[m0rnutz]

Celestia and Luna I believe are made to appear as though they are deities. The theory for Ash is Ho-oh made him immortal from the end of the Kanto saga. Jenny is a teenager because she was fucking programmed, not born. Family Guy is a show where consistency is unimportant.

Welcome back, Chris. Now make more rant videos.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

History repeats itself once again when Chris is accused of being a pedofork. All is well in the world.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

History repeats itself once again when Chris is accused of being a pedofork. All is well in the world.

Things do seem to be coming full circle with him after he dug that shirt out.

 

[Tonberry]

After posting something nice for father's day that actually made people empathize with him a little bit, the very next day fatty immediately went back to making whiny, obnoxious facebook rants about really stupid stuff. Of course.

 

[Ray Streip]

Wait, so first he goes on a tirade about how cartoon characters don't age...only to go on to point out that his characters' ages have, in fact, changed over time? And this tirade was supposed to clear things up? Right...

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Okay, but, the thing is, what are the ages of your characters, Chris?

Oh, and a follow up:

Do you still soil yourself and expect someone else to clean it?

 

[Trilby]

Things do seem to be coming full circle with him after he dug that shirt out.

Reminded again of that shirt, thinking, he wasn't very bright to mix all his whites/colors together like that in the wash the way he did that, but I can't expect him to waste more time at the laundromat after the fire.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

JUST TAKE THE CHARACTER(s) TARD's AGE(s) Gender(s) AS WE HAVE GIVEN DISTORTED THEM, RESPECTIVELY.

The only thing Chris manages to come across as is a SJW politi-nazi. I never thought too much about why Meg Griffin and Stewie Griffin had no birthdays.....why...because they're fictional cartoon characters, who are written to adapt to an ever-changing society.

 

[jc17]

Shows likr family guy or Simpsons keep their characters at a set age for convenience and even joke about it. Chris constantly ages characters left and right to explain away problems, like when he drew porn of 15 year old's Sonichu and Rosechu, "Oh! Uhh... Well, you didn't hear? They just had their sweet 18's! Now they can have all the hanky panky they want!"

 

[Nacho Man Randy Salsa]

History repeats itself once again when Chris is accused of being a pedofork. All is well in the world.

Yeah, "Accused"

 

[ZehnBoat]

I was under

fucking hell, chris has to phrase everything as super stressful and heavy

 

[idosometimes]

None of this matters. The storylines and bios of Sonichu are so convoluted and confusing that no one could actually care. I am not even sure how the characters relate to each other. I am surprised he can keep it all straight... ish.

The "Family Guy" does it defense doesn't fit. "Family Guy" has 289 episodes that have aired over 17 years. The series has had many different writers who wanted to tell different stories with the characters. If "Family Guy" was like Sonichu, the baby would have turned 16 and Chris Griffin would have transformed into a fat blue-haired shemale halfway through the first season, which would have taken a decade to air. Chris has no excuse for this not making sense. He has written all of it at a glacial pace. he is to blame for lack of continuity and age inconsistencies.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Folks, here it is, the long awaited, time-honored greatest hits of Christian Weston Chandler... Including such classics as:

Unnecessary Capitalization!

The new but beloved CWC Briticism "Bloody!"

UGH! And now with even more UGH!

And everyone's favorite, unseen for a long time, STRESS SIGH!

Call now, because these CWC greatest hits won't last long... And for a limited time, you can get twice as much CWC for the low, low price of whatever his lowest Patreon donation tier is!

Don't wait, call now!

No, wait, Don't Call Anybody!

I wonder if we'll get a parody Axe for women advert in the next issue of Sonichu?

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

I wonder if we'll get a parody Axe for women advert in the next issue of Sonichu?

It'd probably be for that Britney Spears perfume Chris dumps on himself every day now.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

For some reason, Waterman decided to write a whole damn essay in response.

Spoiler

It's funny that Waterman is still trying to advise Chris on Sonichu. Chris screwed over Waterman twice before on the comic, by taking his money and script and then altering the scenes and dropping the comic for two years. Waterman was angry at Chris for doing that, yet he's still buzzing around him.