If Chris really did hire a prostitute...

[Anchuent Christory]

DUCK PICTURE IN SPOILER! NOT SAFE FOR LIFE!

Spoiler

In the videos he mass debated in, he always looked exhausted and in discomfort. There must be only a few positions he can at least try without hurting himself.

It's so ridiculous, honestly I wish we all knew what happened to it or if he was just born with a quacked duck.

He said that he first masturbated by lying on his stomach and humping a washcloth wrapped around his penis. That could have caused a penile fracture that he was too humiliated to tell Borb about. Hell, he could even have Peyronie's disease. (pic in spoiler)

Spoiler

In the Ivy Q&A, she said that chris told her that fater cyber sex with Julie "his dick would hurt during the act and would stay sore afterwards."

I can't believe we're talking in depth about Chris' penis...

The incredibly abrupt bend looks like damage to me (somebody speculated in the pictures thread it was caused by the fanny pack full of vidya ) and talking from a physics standpoint I'd imagine any pressure exerted during a... ahem "thrust" would be be focused into the the bend as apposed to transferred down the length of the shaft. Basically, talking as a man... this would be painful and uncomfortable.

Personally, if mine looked like that and caused me or a partner discomfort, I'd swallow my pride and see a doctor.

I've heard and thankfully not experienced, that during intercourse in the cowgirl position when the girl is enthusiastically doing her part, and she rises up too far and causes the guy to "exit", she can come down full-force onto the top of his penis and potentially cause a LOT of damage to it.... This is meant to be spectacularly painful for the guy, and the damage will be mostly permanent.... I think we can assume that this didn't happen to Chris.

Of course, this is just hearsay, and I've never had the desire to research it, but years ago when I was out with some of my mate's college pals a girl related a story claiming this happened with her and a partner.

Whilst I was wincing and crossing my legs, I vividly remember the words "and there was LOADS of blood"

 

[Seahorses]

I've heard and thankfully not experienced, that during intercourse in the cowgirl position when the girl is enthusiastically doing her part, and she rises up too far and the guy to "exits", she can come down full-force onto the top of his penis and potentially cause a LOT of damage to it.... This is meant to be spectacularly painful for the guy, and the damage will be mostly permanent.... I think we can assume that this didn't happen to Chris.

That's common. I wouldn't say lots of damage though, just loads of pain. But.... never enough to ruin an evening.

 

[PCA]

Wasn't the prostitute hired for him by an acquaintance rather than Chris hiring one himself?

 

[CatParty]

DUCK PICTURE IN SPOILER! NOT SAFE FOR LIFE!

Spoiler

In the videos he mass debated in, he always looked exhausted and in discomfort. There must be only a few positions he can at least try without hurting himself.

It's so ridiculous, honestly I wish we all knew what happened to it or if he was just born with a quacked duck.

He said that he first masturbated by lying on his stomach and humping a washcloth wrapped around his penis. That could have caused a penile fracture that he was too humiliated to tell Borb about. Hell, he could even have Peyronie's disease. (pic in spoiler)

Spoiler

In the Ivy Q&A, she said that chris told her that fater cyber sex with Julie "his dick would hurt during the act and would stay sore afterwards."

His bend seems to be facing down. Which isn't natural. However the upward bend would be pleasurable for some ladies.

 

[Smokedaddy]

Wasn't the prostitute hired for him by an acquaintance rather than Chris hiring one himself?

According to Chris, yeah, but you know how much that's worth.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Wasn't the prostitute hired for him by an acquaintance rather than Chris hiring one himself?

According to Chris, yeah, but you know how much that's worth.

But it's actually believable. When was the last time Chris took the initiative in starting a relationship (personal or working) with anyone?

 

[Xanatos]

Wasn't the prostitute hired for him by an acquaintance rather than Chris hiring one himself?

It seems to be the most likely scenerio. It'd also explain many things a out this. Like the lack of any details about the whole thing. Just, "it happened. Trust us!"

 

[Holdek]

I would have loved to see a photo of the gift basket.

Anyway, I doubt he'll hire another prostitute. I think he was probably really, really disappointed with what he got (I doubt his dick went in), and he'll probably save his money for McD's and vidya, and he'll be back to humping little soggy hand towels.

There possibly is a photo. On his eBay page a few months ago, he listed this. I posted it in a thread and never got a confirmation or denial that this was the same basket rejected by the prostitute, but I don't know how else it would have come into his possession.

He said he "put together" the basket but it wouldn't be the first time he exaggerated the effort he put into something. Or maybe he doesn't understand what "put together" actually means. And even Chris might know better than to admit that a prostitute refused his gift. So can anyone in the know enlighten us?

Item number: 190791199298
Gender: Unisex

Heh heh.

I've heard and thankfully not experienced, that during intercourse in the cowgirl position when the girl is enthusiastically doing her part, and she rises up too far and the guy to "exits", she can come down full-force onto the top of his penis and potentially cause a LOT of damage to it.... This is meant to be spectacularly painful for the guy, and the damage will be mostly permanent.... I think we can assume that this didn't happen to Chris.

That's common. I wouldn't say lots of damage though, just loads of pain. But.... never enough to ruin an evening.

Nope...if that happens to you you need to go to the emergency room. You can lose all function of your duck if you don't get immediate surgery, not to mention blood loss and internal bleeding.

Good God, what a conversation to start the morning.

That bend is not natural at all, and I can't imagine sex being comfortable with either of them.

I've heard some women say that an upwards curve is actually quite a desirable thing for a sexual partner to have. A penis that curves in some way is more common than some may think, but of course, as you say, there's nothing natural about Chris' member. The "bend" is rather abrupt and hes not exactly well endowed. When you add in his size, weight, lack of experience and the fact that he's bound to approach the situation in a rather bizarre way..... Yeah, not pleasant.

*stress sigh* I didn't want to do this but I must now break out the [cwc]Nudes[/cwc] page. That bend indicates to me that there is no physiological possibility for normal sex, unless there is some kind of ball-joint in the bend in which Chris can snap it into the other direction. Then...maybe. Who knows, maybe "missionary cowgirl" can be defined as the impossible position in which a woman has to be in to copulate with Chris' bent duck.

I think he would have to lie on his side next to her, while she was lying on her back, and kind of make use of the right angle bend .

Wasn't the prostitute hired for him by an acquaintance rather than Chris hiring one himself?

According to Chris, yeah, but you know how much that's worth.

But it's actually believable. When was the last time Chris took the initiative in starting a relationship (personal or working) with anyone?

I don't know what he would have to gain by lying about the "acquaintance." But Chris as JenkinsJenkies asked for the phone number for the prostitutes Clyde sent to his house, and then on another occasion he called a prostitute wanting a discount due to the trials and tribulations he has endured over his lifetime, but she hung up on him after hearing nonsensical talk about trolling.

 

[___]

I'm inclined to believe it happened based on the ebay auction, but Chris may have finally reached the developmental stage boys age 12 - 14 reach... where they lie about no longer being virgins.

 

[Henry Bemis]

If Chris hired a prostitute, should he be shamed for it?

It's become a fashion to belittle Chris for his decision to do so; the popular phrase is that he didn't really lose his virginity if he had to pay for it, and if there's nothing to be said about that, I believe it was Alec who chimed in that Chris was perpetuating a disreputable service.

Somewhat related, this Savage Love column, which brings up the topic of hiring sex workers for those unlikely to lose their virginities.

 

[Marvin]

If Chris hired a prostitute, should he be shamed for it?

It's become a fashion to belittle Chris for his decision to do so; the popular phrase is that he didn't really lose his virginity if he had to pay for it, and if there's nothing to be said about that, I believe it was Alec who chimed in that Chris was perpetuating a disreputable service.

Somewhat related, this Savage Love column, which brings up the topic of hiring sex workers for those unlikely to lose their virginities.

Eh, there are specific topics that you can use to tweak Chris. Like homosexuality, for example. Remember that guy who said he'd marry Chris in Failosophy? That really bothered Chris. But I don't know, with prostitution, he'd probably just cite some bullshit from TV or something and be on his way.

Plus the public doesn't have that good an access to Chris to tease him about this.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Wait the dude on Failosophy bugged him that bad? More or less than the chick not choosing him?

 

[Marvin]

Wait the dude on Failosophy bugged him that bad? More or less than the chick not choosing him?

Heh, well, he was pretty grossed out about the dude wanting to marry him. I don't know how it really compares to the chick spurning him and wanting him thrown in jail. (from Chris' perspective, at least)

 

[LordCustos3]

From reputable sources he got her because he didn't want to die a virgin in prison. His plan was to not eat the food and starve to death.

If that story is true, then I'll have to knock OPL a couple points up on my Respectometer; because a hunger strike based on principle is pretty damned baller, bouse and badass.

Bit of a damned shame that....
1) He doesn't have the willpower to carry through such a tough-guy plan.
2) The "principle" he is fighting for is "Da Judge is a Meany and da lying, stealing jew Snyder is ta blame!"

 

[GFYS]

If Chris hired a prostitute, should he be shamed for it?

Frankly, I think it was an uncharacteristically practical move for Chris (which also suggests to me a third party helped facilitate this). I don't see prostitution as such a shameful thing, and am more opposed to the fierce criminalization of it forcing it to become the domain of organized criminals and human traffickers. People need to get laid? People need to get paid? The simplest answer is staring everyone right in the face, but everyone shame prevents them from accepting it.

That said, I think Chris probably felt unfulfilled because sex didn't Digivolve him into "Big Fierce Man," like I suspect he wished. I dunno if we can definitively say what his expectations were, but - like everything else in Chris' life - it probably wasn't typical or realistic.

 

[LordCustos3]

People need to get laid? People need to get paid? The simplest answer is staring everyone right in the face, but everyone shame prevents them from accepting it.

Too True.
Or as the late Saint Carlin once opined: "Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? Why is it wrong to sell something that is perfectly okay to give away?"



Anyhow....slight change of subject....

What I wonder is this: Was he in full Tomgirl mode at the time, and did this "roleplay aspect" cost him extra?

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Possibly using disability money to pay a prostitute to take his virginity? Yeah, it's pathetic. Most pathetic thing Chris has ever done? Not by a longshot.

 

[DJAndyMD]

I think in all of this, Chris might have realized that loosing his virginity, to a prostitute no less, may not have been all that is cracked up to be. I noticed he has been more miserable since then, with the exception that people still talk about him.

 

[LucridMockery]

I think in all of this, Chris might have realized that loosing his virginity, to a prostitute no less, may not have been all that is cracked up to be. I noticed he has been more miserable since then, with the exception that people still talk about him.

For some reason he thought sex with a women would cure all the problems in his life (which are all caused by him of course or can at least be solved only by him). Now he's all disillusioned over it. I wonder where he got the idea that sex would magically make him feel different and what he will do next? We know he knew sex wouldn't feel good for him because he admitted to one of the trolls during a chat that masturbation with his bent duck hurts!

 

[Marvin]

I think in all of this, Chris might have realized that loosing his virginity, to a prostitute no less, may not have been all that is cracked up to be. I noticed he has been more miserable since then, with the exception that people still talk about him.

For some reason he thought sex with a women would cure all the problems in his life (which are all caused by him of course or can at least be solved only by him). Now he's all disillusioned over it. I wonder where he got the idea that sex would magically make him feel different and what he will do next?

Eh, it wasn't just sex with a woman. He's looking for a Barb replacement and part of this goal includes a Barb that'll fuck him regularly. The hooker was a good time for him, but he's not thinking that it's going to fulfill all his future goals. Hell, it might've contributed to his depression because he's gotten a taste of what he's trying to get, but can't.