It's Canada Day 🇨🇦

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Happy Canada Day!

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You will never be a real American. You have no bacon, you have no guns, you have no freedom. You are a francophile brit twisted by snow and tea into a crude mockery of Jamestown's perfection. All the "recognition" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. England and France are disgusted and ashamed of you, western society laugh at your silly mannerisms behind closed doors.

Europeans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of societal development have allowed Europeans to sniff out uncultured people with incredible efficiency. Even Canadians who "seem American" look sissified and weak-chinned to Europeans. Your accent is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a seat at the security council they'll laugh you out of the room the second they get a whiff of your cuckold, petty tyrant Prime Minister.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell your bus driver "thank you", but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll pour up a bathtub of maple syrup, plug in your toaster, and zap yourself into the cold abyss. The international community will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll write you into the history books with the phrase "British commonwealth", and every other country for the rest of eternity will know a colony used to be there. Your nation will decay and go back to the ice, and all that will remain of your legacy is a set of teeth that are unmistakable English.
 
Sinpie said:
You will never be a real American. You have no bacon, you have no guns, you have no freedom. You are a francophile brit twisted by snow and tea into a crude mockery of Jamestown's perfection. All the "recognition" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. England and France are disgusted and ashamed of you, western society laugh at your silly mannerisms behind closed doors.

Europeans are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of societal development have allowed Europeans to sniff out uncultured people with incredible efficiency. Even Canadians who "seem American" look sissified and weak-chinned to Europeans. Your accent is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a seat at the security council they'll laugh you out of the room the second they get a whiff of your cuckold, petty tyrant Prime Minister.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell your bus driver "thank you", but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll pour up a bathtub of maple syrup, plug in your toaster, and zap yourself into the cold abyss. The international community will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They'll write you into the history books with the phrase "British commonwealth", and every other country for the rest of eternity will know a colony used to be there. Your nation will decay and go back to the ice, and all that will remain of your legacy is a set of teeth that are unmistakable English.
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Not true, we have bacon.
 
Just remember you're not allowed to bring any anti Trudeau signs to the Parliament Hill parades or the police can arrest you!

I wish I was joking, but that's something they actually passed.
 
kittyfucker said:
No fucking way
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This is the same country that ruled to fine any Nova Scotian caught waving at the truckers heading towards Ontario 10,000 dollars (regardless of whether you think the truckers were a bunch of morons or not it's pretty nuts to threaten huge fines for waving), so nothing shocks me anymore.

Though technically only the 'fuck Trudeau' flags are banned from Parliament Hill, so that means it's still a free country.


Doomsday sperging aside Happy Canada day. At least we have neat wildlife and more eagles than the Americans (we export eagles to you guys, FYI).
 
Jimmy Olsen said:
Just remember you're not allowed to bring any anti Trudeau signs to the Parliament Hill parades or the police can arrest you!

I wish I was joking, but that's something they actually passed.
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Got any articles or documentation of this for me? It's so utterly believable with Canada's current state that it's riding Poe's Law.
 
Professor G. Raff said:
Got any articles or documentation of this for me? It's so utterly believable with Canada's current state that it's riding Poe's Law.
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I'm stuck linking to a crappy boomer 'WAKE UP SHEEPLE' type website, but it has a video of cops making people take down their fuck Trudeau signs. It's from March 6th, but the same rules still apply on Canada Day and are being enforced.

thepostmillennial.com

WATCH: Police say F*ck Trudeau flags now banned on Parliament Hill

“This must be personally from Justin.”
thepostmillennial.com thepostmillennial.com

They're citing the 2018 ruling about no profanity being allowed, but the intent is clear.
 
Jimmy Olsen said:
I'm stuck linking to a crappy boomer 'WAKE UP SHEEPLE' type website, but it has a video of cops making people take down their fuck Trudeau signs. It's from March 6th, but the same rules still apply on Canada Day and are being enforced.

thepostmillennial.com

WATCH: Police say F*ck Trudeau flags now banned on Parliament Hill

“This must be personally from Justin.”
thepostmillennial.com thepostmillennial.com

They're citing the 2018 ruling about no profanity being allowed, but the intent is clear.
Click to expand...
There's an other video mentioned on this French blog. https://www.cliqueduplateau.com/2022/07/01/lorsque-les-coucous-attaquent-la-police-dottawa/

I guess they wouldn't have a problem if the signs said "fuck Harper"?
 
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