Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Lvkester Endorser]

EXCLUSIVE, LEAKED INFORMATION: hearthbound release calendar.

Spoiler: EXCLUSIVE LEAKS FROM MALD DISCORD

March update won't happen because of rain.
April update won't happen because of allergies.
May update won't happen because a ferret will die.
June update won't happen because it's Pride month and Mald will be too busy getting his rectum blown out by a garden gnome.
July update won't happen because Mald will take a well-earned summer vacation, stalker child!
August update won't happen because of hurricane season.
September update won't happen because 9/11 rememberence. Poor Mald won't be able to focus on work because of sheer grief.
October update won't happen because Mald and his pooner will be too busy dressing up like dogs and fucking their polycule discord members celebrating Halloween!
November update won't happen because Thamksgiving.
December update will not happen because Xmas!

 

[reactionary]

Poor Mald won't be able to focus on work because of sheer grief.

Won't stop him from streaming though.

 

[potato sack]

This might be it, although he doesn't get into too much detail, so this might be the early/"unrefined" version of the story:
View attachment 7037013
The rest of the clip is Mald explaining why he was kicked out of his WoW guild (that's way before The Incident), as well as why he couldn't find another guild ("because people don't understand guardian druids", apparently).

jesus christ hes so goddamn insuferable
bad at telling stories really its not so hard

 

[Fear and Bullets]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0pJjp4UkFA

He has no keybinds other than the basic action bar. Major spells that he doesn't have a keybind for: Sheep, Ice Block, Mana Shield, Decurse, Evocate, Mana Gem (lol), Berserking (troll racial he should be using constantly). The most shocking thing he doesn't have as a keybind? HIS FUCKING MOUNT. I can't imagine the autism this nigger plays with where he's manually clicking to get on his mount every time he needs to move 10 yards while questing.

What's infuriating as fuck to me is i play WoW on a cheap ass laptop with no keypad, so I have to click or use weird ass hand placements a lot of the time and I still have a better hotkey setup than multi-monitor mald

 

[el gordo]

archive

 

[The sticky sock]

archive

And here I thought you were Australian.

 

[Aidan]

archive

This is the kindest way to perceive Mald but really he's just a pathetic narcissist.

 

[el gordo]

This is the kindest way to perceive Mald but really he's just a pathetic narcissist.

it is charitable but there is some evil behind his eyes
the way he loves to execute power and position authority of people is concerning, you can imagine the heads that will roll with him in any position of legitimate authority with out a governing body to over look what he does
guys like jason are the reason why the people who write the law are separate entity to the people who enforce the law

 

[ifxztykgdnfvmsdjhfbSD]

Today is the day we've been waiting for. Is the weather still stormy in Washington? I'm thinking he uses that as an excude to not push an update (that he totally worked on).

The storm only lasted like a day but I have a strange feeling that disclaimer on the store page isn't going away anytime soon. I won't call it just yet though, Maldy still has around 9.5 hours left. Plenty of time to add something else to the font.

 

[Roachbound]

Has anyone taken a closer look at mald's linkedin? It shows him working as QA at blizzard(on his second stint that his father gave to him) for 4 years and 4 months, which when combined with 6 months in his first stint, shows mald himself admitted he worked for less than minimum wage for almost 5 years. This guy has his father as a division head at the company and couldn't move up the corporate ladder for ~5 years.

But I think what's even more noticeable is mald's history after his promotion from QA at blizzard, which shows he did, unless I'm mistaken, 0 game development or game design at the company. Compare mald's blizzard resume after his ~5 year QA stint to an actual game dev on linkedin. Unlike the actual game dev, mald doesn't list what specific parts of a game he designed. I don't see how you can be charitable to Mald for this, there is nothing about his game dev experience prior to champions of breakfast.

Him using blizzard to point to his game dev experience is like a janitor at a hospital pointing to his medical expertise.

*comment edited slightly due to typos

 

[Tautology Man]

streaming 20 years a day.

If he streams to an average of 7000 people for 12 hours that adds up to almost 10 years of man hours every day. Welcome to the finding out timeline, chud.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Any updates on the update? Maldy is running out of time. He needs to get that terracotta gnome out of his ass and add parenthesis to the font.

 

[p1138]

Any updates on the update? Maldy is running out of time. He needs to get that terracotta gnome out of his ass and add parenthesis to the font.

Seems like he's still trying to get people to brigade the reviews to counter paying customers being unhappy with a shit product. It's now up to 14 months without an update. And of course no other updates on steam regarding the status of the game or intent to do anything. So much for those monthly updates he promised.

 

[slungus22]

Seems like he's still trying to get people to brigade the reviews to counter paying customers being unhappy with a shit product. It's now up to 14 months without an update. And of course no other updates on steam regarding the status of the game or intent to do anything. So much for those monthly updates he promised.
View attachment 7044144

You just need to be patient, i heard he's up 1 in the config.ini

 

[el gordo]

Any updates on the update? Maldy is running out of time. He needs to get that terracotta gnome out of his ass and add parenthesis to the font.

fairly certain hes asleep becasue hes starts streaming at midnight his time
so those monthly updates were one where he added # and the 2nd one was late
fantastic

 

[SlyVMan]

Any updates on the update? Maldy is running out of time. He needs to get that terracotta gnome out of his ass and add parenthesis to the font.

Last thing he said about it... 3 hours ago.

Edit: Of course Jason glazer Myke has to say something.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

I'm probably late to this, but check out the insanity of thor and his fanbases' behaviour in regards to the nepobaby label.
View attachment 7039650View attachment 7039670View attachment 7039678View attachment 7039681View attachment 7039683
Firstly the tweet. Then some piratesoftware fan(who self identifies as a gremlin who grovels in front of their norse god) tries to say Thor contributed more to blizzard than his father. The QA tester did more work than the director of cinematics.
Then we get the "thor is the most wholesome guy with no controversy, and this journalist is going to get ruined by his 250k twitter followers LMAO"
finally, we get to one of his fans who tries to placate his ego while saying that he, factually, is a nepobaby. You can tell how this guy's story ended.

>you had a bigger impact at blizzard than your dad did!
>his dad, a cinematic director at a company well known for its good cinematics had a lesser impact than a qa tester

 

[Goon Knight]

>you had a bigger impact at blizzard than your dad did!
>his dad, a cinematic director at a company well known for its good cinematics had a lesser impact than a qa tester

Of course mald had a bigger impact at blizzard. Who do you think was serving titty milk to the execs?

 

[my penis is on fire]

Last thing he said about it... 3 hours ago.

>This patch has the Clash room with Emelio's storyline if you are on a Darksider route and then treat Shelly/Sheldon poorly
Can anyone who's played the game translate these moon runes? Because what it sounds like is he's adding one unfinished room to one story path, one day late

 

[ohgodwhydidilookup]

>This patch has the Clash room with Emelio's storyline if you are on a Darksider route and then treat Shelly/Sheldon poorly
Can anyone who's played the game translate these moon runes? Because what it sounds like is he's adding one unfinished room to one story path, one day late

He is finishing up the room where there is a storyline showing the MC in front of a crowd and he needs to keep them happy. A neat little minigame to show how difficult it is to please everyone and how it is so hard to be a streamer. Really deep stuff. I especially like the heckling when you miss the inputs in the minigame and your stream messes up. You choke in a video game and it causes the audience to deep dive into your past and type shit gnome in chat in addition to mana gem and ferretfucker. Then you need to play the banhammer minigame where trolls yell slurs at you while you hit them with a hammer while you say "dogshit behavior" and "don't do that".

Just let Jason Thor Hall cook guys. I promise Heartbound will be updated with quality content.