Chapter 8 opens with an author's note:
Fortunately, the Wayback Machine has an archive from February 2020, so we can compare and contrast versions.
The original version plays out exactly as predicted, with Finn and Poe's reunion scene occurring with only slight modification from the film, the knots Jerry had to tie himself into to make this happen be damned. Also note that this is the first mention of the third Death Star in the fic. While name-dropping something that hasn't been established isn't inherently a bad thing, as it can build an aura of mystery around the object or character, the casual nature of its presentation leads me to believe that Jerry is once again leaning on the movie.
Jumping over to the current version, Jerry has inserted an extra paragraph, extending Finn's panic attack, and we also see our first use of Star Wars profanity. While in the films, the strongest curse utilized is "damned", the Expanded Universe novels occasionally felt that stronger expletives were called for. However, they wanted to maintain the generally PG/PG-13 nature of Star Wars, and so resorted to the old nonsense word trick.
Kriff's (note the italicization) language of origin has never been identified, but it is generally taken to be analogous to "fuck".
Anyway, Finn and Poe meet with Leia, and we get another edited sequence.
The old version is, well, perfunctory. It goes beyond functional and into the comically brief. Credit where credit is due, the rewrite is substantially better.
On the other hand, it appears I was mistaken about Jerry removing the part where the destruction of the Republic was visible across the galaxy, he's instead elected to just not have it fire yet. The first thing that even approaches being a substantial change to this story, and it's not even because of Aliana. Or rather, not directly, because I suspect that "Aliana saved the Republic" is going to be used as a reason why she's such a good girl.
We scene cut to Ren's interrogation of Rey, and note that Jerry has significantly altered the opening part of the scene from
the original, because, well, take a look at that fucking comments section. Thirstposting aside, however, the sexual tension is a critical part of this scene. The discrepancy of the tenderness of Ren's words and the cruelty of his actions heightens the scene specifically by casting him in an abusive light, rather than simply malevolent. At least it technically counts as a Ren scene that isn't him seething about Aliana.
Interrogation complete, we get back to the not!Rebellion as they plan their assault. It's the movie plan, with the addition of Aliana going in with Han. We do get another alteration between the original and the rewrite, though.
In the original, Leia grimly signs off on Aliana's intent to kill Ren. The reveal of Ren's parentage hasn't actually been made yet in the fic, but we can read that Leia is putting her personal feelings aside to make a hard call that has to be made. Also, I ain't never heard of that technique.
The rewrite, on the other hand, is, well, this mess. If these were two sensible people, this conversation would have gone along the lines of "No hunting, focus on the mission. Only engage Ren if he comes for you." "
When he comes.", but Jerry isn't interested in writing sensible characters, he's interested in writing a cantankerous old lady that doesn't like her wonderful, amazing self-insert because she's a mean do-do head who gets shot down by extras because everyone else can see plain as day how wonderful Aliana is. In fact, Leia even pulls Aliana aside to have another bitch fit after the briefing is adjourned.
I see Leia's wit is fading with age.
And now that all that bullshit is out of the way, let's have some technical. The word "gun" has never been utilized in Star Wars: "slugthrower" is the term for a projectile-based weapon, and I have never seen one utilized on a starship. Similarly, "Turbolaser" specifically refers to capital-scale weapons, as opposed to the smaller-scale "laser cannons" utilized on starfighters, freighters and as point defense on capital ships. It is technically possible to mount a turbolaser or two on a
Fury-sized ship, but this is generally impractical, as the low number of barrels combined with the long recharge time resulting from the smaller power plant makes it ineffective against capital ships while also being inaccurate overkill against fighters. They
do have a niche application in ground strike roles, though, so fair enough in that regard.
The bad guys detect the recon flight and know that the Rebels are coming, Ren gets dressed down by Snoke, the "who the fuck were these guys again" get sent to get slaughtered by Aliana so that Jerry doesn't have to make good on killing Ren at a point where he'd have to take the reigns on the plot, and Ren seethes.
Back to the gang, it turns out that Aliana is such an amazing teacher that she can create a competent duelist in 15 minutes flat. For anyone curious, that name is Shii-Cho, more commonly known as Form I. Given that the adjectives most commonly ascribed to the form are "wild" and "clumsy", I'm going to predict that despite having some semblance of training, Finn's duel with Ren is going to go exactly like it did in the movie.
Meanwhile, Rey does her escape, and-
Remember, the only good brainwashed child soldier is a dead brainwashed child soldier.
Oh, right, there was also this absolute fucking horseshit. I'm tired and wrapping this up, so I'm going to continue to forgo the opportunity to go apeshit about how hyperspace works. Let's just say this this maneuver is so fucking stupid that I can't even give it the usual "this would take a Jedi" routine. It would take a Jedi that was intimately familiar with both Force-assisted hyperspace navigation and the ship he was piloting to even start making this feasible, let alone practical.
They get down, get a visual on Rey, Han, Finn and Chewie go to take out the shields while Aliana splits off meets to hook up with Rey.
I fucking hate r/prequelmemes.
Rey vents her anger about being lied to, Aliana apologizes, and we get a wasted opportunity.
Remember the outpost Rey toured? The one where Aliana handed over her lightsaber and I had a fit about that? I'm going to double down on that. Aliana's reaction to being asked to disarm should have been "I'll just stay on the ship, then". Then, when this comes about, it would have served as a payoff to that moment, showing the unique trust that Aliana is placing in Rey at this moment. But that's just me liking my stories having motifs and character development instead of movie references.
MOTHERFUCKER!
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