jokes thread - WE NEED MORE DEAD JOKES THREADS

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A man and his wife go to a party, in there he sees a black woman and ask "Who's that black woman?", her wife hisses at him and says in a hush voice "She is violet", the man responds "Sorry, you know I'm colorblind".

I tried to organize a professional hide and seek tournament, but it was a failure, good hide and seek players are hard to find.

I sold my vacuum the other day, the only thing it did was gather dust.
 
what did the doctor say to the cat?

how do you feline?

(stolen from the end of botchamania 530)
 
Heard this one of 4chan a while ago

An Indian, Black man and a Jew on a road trip break down near a farm. They go to the farm house for help, and the farmer offers them hospitality for the night, though, he only had 2 beds, one of them would have to sleep in the barn. The Indian man without hesitation offered to sleep in the barn, for he explained that his life in dehli had met him with far worse to deal with. The Jew and the Black go to the bedroom and get tucked into their respective beds.

A few minutes later, they hear someone knocking on their door. It's the Indian, and he says that he can't sleep in the barn as there is a cow there. So the Jew man dismisses his worry, telling him that he will sleep in the barn instead, since Jews have been through much worse in history. So the Black and Indian, again, go to bed and get tucked in. A few minutes later, they, again, hear someone knocking on the door. It's the Jew, and he says he can't sleep in the barn as there is a pig there, and pigs are not kosher!

The Black man tells the Jew that he will go sleep in the barn, since life in the hood had met him with greater misfortune. The Indian and Jew tuck themselves into bed and turn of the lights for what would hopefully be the last time tonight. A few minutes later, they hear someone knocking at the door. They get up and open the door. Its the cow and the pig.
 
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