Keffals / Clara Sorrenti / Lucas John Roberts / Queen Clara the Fart Dominatrix / SorrentiThott - Twitter / Twitch slacktivist. Obsessed with being famous. Operator of the Catboy Ranch. Canadian T-Girl porn star and independent Fart Fetish / Findom Dominatrix. Personally sponsored sending Chinese HRT from Brazil to children without parental consent.

[Punished Neco]

Since Hasan and Destiny were mentioned I caught this when Hasan was talking about the Destiny sex tape situation

This is Keffals legacy, maybe shouldn't have tried to create fake beef with larger streamers in order to draw more views to drama streams.

What I find weird is that I swear we would've caught wind of a new Keffals alt account or something by now, but nada, zilch

 

[Oliver Onions]

I should be used to it by now but it's so annoying how faggots like Hasan so confidently misrepresent the Farms, either to push their own agenda or because they're so stupid they've never even visited as a guest to check if any of what they say is true before running their mouth.

Or maybe I'm the fool and just not high up enough on the Kiwi Cosa Nostra to access this supposed suicide leaderboard.

 

[Dead Lion]

What I find weird is that I swear we would've caught wind of a new Keffals alt account or something by now, but nada, zilch

He did try to make a second account making creepypasta content for toddlers but it failed miserably.

Keffals has shown remarkable self awareness of knowing how massively he fucked up and has subsequently pulled a Dobson lite. I’m still holding up hope for one day when Keffals and Null end up in the same room and someone records the subsequent bloodbath.

 

[InteracialBowelSyndrome]

imagine being so bald that you have to use 2 wigs

George: "He's BALD, Jerry!"

Jerry: "BALD bald?"

George: "BALD BALD!"

 

[Oliver Onions]

Keffals has shown remarkable self awareness of knowing how massively he fucked up and has subsequently pulled a Dobson lite.

I don't know that I'd credit that to his self-awareness because he did try to make several comebacks, it just blew up in his face every time until he eventually gave up.

His best bet now would be to try and start over as a Vtuber and hope no one recognises the voice, but that wouldn't feed into his narcissism and I still doubt he'd be able to keep his foot out his mouth for long.

 

[Captain Retard]

I don't know that I'd credit that to his self-awareness because he did try to make several comebacks, it just blew up in his face every time until he eventually gave up.

His best bet now would be to try and start over as a Vtuber and hope no one recognises the voice, but that wouldn't feed into his narcissism and I still doubt he'd be able to keep his foot out his mouth for long.

Keffals is not coming back, especially if that means starting from zero and having to constantly trying to keep the "I am not Keffals" ruse going.
Too much stress and effort for minimal gains (unless keffals got bit by a charisma spider).

 

[Oliver Onions]

Keffals is not coming back, especially if that means starting from zero and having to constantly trying to keep the "I am not Keffals" ruse going.

It would be pretty funny if he came back with Groucho Marx glasses and insisted he wasn't Keffals, like that meme about Critikal.

 

[Haramburger]

His best bet now would be to try and start over as a Vtuber and hope no one recognises the voice, but that wouldn't feed into his narcissism and I still doubt he'd be able to keep his foot out his mouth for long.

I'd recognize that psycho motor retardation accent through any voice filter

 

[Punished Neco]

Does anyone have a sample of this thing's music? I feel like it'll either be total garbage or actually quite good

@Punished Neco I'm sorry I asked.

I'm sure you've been looking forward to more of LIJ's music.
Well I have some good news for you, that won't ruin your Saturday, LIJ is back to making "music" and their flagship song of their upcoming album dropped on Feb 14th.

In the 2 week run up to the release of this song this was posted


So this is "S.O.S- Bella Bliss". The flagship song.
I don't know what I expected but listening to it feels like having a schizophrenic episode in music form.
There appears to be singing at the 1 minute mark where it sounds like someone pinching their nose.
I especially like the fact that I need to post the lyric video so people can understand what's being said but for some reason LIJ decided to keep using unreadable red text.

Remember, coming to a live concert near you soon!

Anyway, about 6 hours later the Texas governor announced all ID's for people from Texas that had their gender markers changed are to be made invalid and LIJ had a crashout (LIJ doesn't even live in Texas anymore).

Don't worry, LIJ just took a 2 hour break and just returned to posting like nothing had happened.

 

[Oliver Onions]

In the 2 week run up to the release of this song this was posted

Ironically after listening to that song I wish someone would shoot me too.

So this is "S.O.S- Bella Bliss". The flagship song.

I pride myself on listening to some shitty music, but this is trash. It's a much, much shittier version of that Ron Paul 'It's Happening' song, without any of the charm or memetic energy. Moon Man unironically has better bars than this.

Thankfully they were kind enough to include the lyrics in the description on YouTube so I didn't need to type them up manually. I recommend giving them a thorough perusal because there are some absolute bangers in there. Have a read and pick your favorite!

Spoiler: Deep and insightful

verse 1:
it's too late so you know we gotta lock in
embrace for generational extinction
the first targets yet we're not the last to die
scrutiny and visibility, got no place to hide

the wealth parasites can fly in the outer sky
anger and fear on the battleground multiplies
it's class warfare and i hope you brought supplies
won't be long til the death toll starts to rise

too late to rely on assistance from the state
they don't even want to recognize your name
already know that you'll be the first to blame
one last chance at the LIFE YOU HAVE TO CLAIM!!!!

chorus:
they can't kill us in a way that matters
(you know this is an S.O.S.)
you can only live to see them die
(you know this is an S.O.S.)

gotta pick your allies carefully
in the land of the white man, nothing's free
without a destination where you can flee
the struggle of survival is the only place to be

post-chorus 1:
(THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS AND IT'S EVERYONE'S FAULT BUT YOURS)
(FIND THE SPITE WITHIN YOU TO SURVIVE THESE NEWFOUND HORRORS)

verse 2:
online we used to have the privilege to mobilize
but how do we organize, encryption is jeopardized
and our prescriptions are no longer subsidized
we'll be deprived of friction and paralyzed

swimming in the tidal waves, burning in the wildfires
damages to businesses with all the DEI hires
no solidarity when hatred's the protocol
the churches, synagogues, and mosques betrayed by a sadistic God

shame on all of us, though, for blind faith in demagogues
impossible to engage in constructive dialogue
when they don't even want you chilling in the fucking backlog
struggling to see a future, only smog

[chorus repeat]

bridge:
erm excuse me, we just gained unlimited access to all of your public & private data
and we found a twitter post where you said and i quote,
"wow it sure looks like a beautiful day to kill every government official and steal from their bank accounts"
now i know we're actually killing people and like constantly stealing taxpayer money, but we have-- HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING

BREAKDOWN:
LAW-DISPUTING CITIZEN, YOU ARE DISOBEYING OUR ORDERS
AND ILLEGALLY CROSSING THE BORDERS, PULL OVER
NOW AND SHOW US YOUR PASSPORT WITH YOUR GOD-GIVEN NAME AND YOUR GOD-GIVEN GENDER
SHOW US YOUR HANDS & GIVE US YOUR DRUGS, YOU AND YOUR GANG OF THUGS
WE HAVE DEEMED YOU A THREAT TO SOCIETY AND A COMPROMISE OF PUBLIC SAFETY

POST-BREAKDOWN:
spontaneous in our escape
you know they love to agitate
this is an S.O.S.
this is an S.O.S.

they lower our survival rate
you know we can't go back to this place
this is an S.O.S. (you know we can't go back to this place)
this is an S.O.S. (you know we can't go back to this place)

Finally, just as an aside, when I was trying to look the song up on YouTube because the KF video wasn't playing I tried searching just for 'bella bliss' and the first result was the channel of a young black girl. It was only when I searched for 'Bella Bliss sos' that I found the troon.

tfw a black child (presumably) being exploited by her parents has more subscribers than you

 

[Niggie Smalls]

In the 2 week run up to the release of this song this was posted
View attachment 7095142

If a troon is shot dead and there’s no one there to see it, who does the rioting? Very bold of him to assume that there will be any audience members, let alone enough to constitute a riot.

 

[Oliver Onions]

If a troon is shot dead and there’s no one there to see it, who does the rioting?

Has there ever been a riot over a dead troon? I know they get extremely upset online, but they never seem to reach full BLM-scale chimpout mode.

 

[Niggie Smalls]

Has there ever been a riot over a dead troon? I know they get extremely upset online, but they never seem to reach full BLM-scale chimpout mode.

Depends. Exuberant celebration could get out of hand and become a riot. Would that count?

 

[Super-Chevy454]

It would be pretty funny if he came back with Groucho Marx glasses and insisted he wasn't Keffals, like that meme about Critikal.
View attachment 7076704

Groucho Marx would spin in his grave if Keffals will really do that.

 

[jallsballs]

Remember, coming to a live concert near you soon!

ive always wondered how music like this or 100 gecs or whatever its called is recorded, are they just screaming into a mic in their bedroom in an apartment shared with their family or something? it seems extremely awkward

 

[Sonichu-choo trainwreck]

I'm sure you've been looking forward to more of LIJ's music.
Well I have some good news for you, that won't ruin your Saturday, LIJ is back to making "music" and their flagship song of their upcoming album dropped on Feb 14th.

In the 2 week run up to the release of this song this was posted
View attachment 7095142

So this is "S.O.S- Bella Bliss". The flagship song.
I don't know what I expected but listening to it feels like having a schizophrenic episode in music form.
There appears to be singing at the 1 minute mark where it sounds like someone pinching their nose.
I especially like the fact that I need to post the lyric video so people can understand what's being said but for some reason LIJ decided to keep using unreadable red text.
View attachment 7095134
Remember, coming to a live concert near you soon!

Anyway, about 6 hours later the Texas governor announced all ID's for people from Texas that had their gender markers changed are to be made invalid and LIJ had a crashout (LIJ doesn't even live in Texas anymore).
View attachment 7095136
Don't worry, LIJ just took a 2 hour break and just returned to posting like nothing had happened.

wow - it's a lot like their gender...it comes off as really really synthetic
Though i am glad to see the hamsters from the hamsterdance find new work after getting ahold of Cher's Antares

https://www.webhamster.com

Some, uh..thought provoking ?lyrics

they can't kill us in a way that matters
(you know this is an S.O.S.)

I mean, if they can't kill you in a way that matters, then you don't need to send up that S.O.S.

.

 

[Oliver Onions]

are they just screaming into a mic in their bedroom in an apartment shared with their family or something? it seems extremely awkward

It's hard to tell because the vocals are so heavily auto-tuned and filtered, but I suspect they just speak into a microphone then artificially boost the volume and manipulate it in other ways to get what they want. There's some screaming stuff in the only other song they've uploaded, but I don't know if that's actually him or if it's lifted from another song because the whole thing is so poorly put together.

It's closer to AI generated songs than actual music, I look forward to seeing what he shits out next.

 

[Moist Boys]

A poem for Keffals

 

[robots.txt]

In the 2 week run up to the release of this song this was posted

Nigga thinks he's Malcolm X

 

[Dromedary]

I'm amused at myself somewhat for even clicking on the Keffals thread, "Oh, what's that fat boring slug on psychiatirc meds and benzos up to these days in late March 2025?" and he's still a fat boring slug who FAILED to take down Kiwi Farms.