What a fucking weirdo way to out yourself as not actually having a disability that impairs your ability to walk. Any normal person would hear that and go "yeah! I'm feeling a lot better today, it rocks!" and enjoy the shared moment of recognizing something good rather than getting worried that the nurse is paying too much attention and will notice her bad acting on days when she's trying to pretend that it's super difficult for her to walk.
Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention
- Thread starter Petronella
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pictures of the moon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
"hemotologiers" lol
I will never understand why people are so offended by people trying to be nice to them. And it literally is a drs job to observe how you are doing, that includes how you walk and move.
Even the "feel better soon" is just people trying their best in a situation that probably makes them feel inadequate and sad.
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2022
eta: some may be wondering what this fat genderspecial fairy bitch is claiming her illness is... ulcers, celiac and autism.
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A tree
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
Since when does celiac get you hospitalised or sent to the ER when you eat a croissant?
What happens is you get very boringly sick with diarrhoea, vomiting, nausea, hair loss, some of us get nasty skin rashes, migraines etc and it can go on for weeks or even months from a single cross contamination as that's how long it takes your small intestine to re grow its villi and your immune system to calm the fuck down about it.
I'm having trouble believing this person is celiac because I don't know any celiacs that would a) think it's worth being low-key sick for months just for a few bites of croissant which she's almost certainly had the opportunity to eat many times before. (most celiacs eat gluten for years before finding out) and
b) think celiac is like an anaphylactic allergy that will send you to the ER.
Choroid Plexus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2021
So is the mobility aid for the peptic ulcers, Celiac's or autism? Jesus christ.
A tree
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
Regret to inform that Auties DID arc is apparently over as soon as its begun. She's deleted everything to do with it.
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2022
Munchie GlitterAndYelling from my previous 2 posts is having a cry about Trans Day of Visibility because of course she's a trans man, on top of being "physically disabled" and autistic. She also posted this on her story:
That last sentence made me go
IRL.
That last sentence made me go
IRL.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2022
“Watch comfort shows”, how very manly.
Lol, lmao even.
Lol, lmao even.
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2022
Everything is eugenics with these people. Perhaps the eugenics proponents were on to something
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2018
Aight I know I said my next would be a MBP mom but i need another minute to think on that one. So I'm just going to move on as planned with my next batch.
So I wanted to update on the Florida Women I started posting back in 2020 but of course, I am incapable of restraint and so we begin the Magical Munchie Tour Part 2. Last time I focused on finding Trevino's patients to prove that anyone who walks in his office can buy a diagnosis and get the toys they want. This time I'd like to focus on the abusive dog trainers that are supplying them with their favorite Disney World accessories. Along the way we'll visit old friends, dip into a cold case murder, kick a famous person while he's down, dabble in necromancy, and learn that all the money in the world can't buy you a personality.
Chloe O’Sullivan d/b/a Alice.explores.wonderland is a Florida Woman I ignored when I did my first tour even though she kept coming up. She’s a boring, frustrating account who never gives me the medical drama I want but she gives me exactly the jumping off point I want for the rest of this and a chance to catch up with our old friends, so whatever.
But like I said her utility was mostly just as a jumping off point. Join me soon when we check out her infinitely more interesting “friends” in the weird incestuous world of girls with service dogs and disney passes instead of personalities.
So I wanted to update on the Florida Women I started posting back in 2020 but of course, I am incapable of restraint and so we begin the Magical Munchie Tour Part 2. Last time I focused on finding Trevino's patients to prove that anyone who walks in his office can buy a diagnosis and get the toys they want. This time I'd like to focus on the abusive dog trainers that are supplying them with their favorite Disney World accessories. Along the way we'll visit old friends, dip into a cold case murder, kick a famous person while he's down, dabble in necromancy, and learn that all the money in the world can't buy you a personality.
Chloe O’Sullivan d/b/a Alice.explores.wonderland is a Florida Woman I ignored when I did my first tour even though she kept coming up. She’s a boring, frustrating account who never gives me the medical drama I want but she gives me exactly the jumping off point I want for the rest of this and a chance to catch up with our old friends, so whatever.
Account begins January 2019, golden retreiver puppo.
Of course. So this account is not run by Chloe at first. It’s run by her mom (I think) while she’s away in college at UF in Gainesville. So Alice’s original training was apparently all done by her mom and thus the complete lack of actual health discussion.
Lol this retard put the vest on the dog backwards and went out like that.
So many different harnesses and leads on one dog. Mom or whoever this is has no fucking clue what she’s doing. Sawgrass Mills is in Sunrise, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale.
Lots of training fluff and no medical drama until May when Alice is flown up to Gainesville to meet Chloe at Shands Hospital. No mention of why she’s there.
Three days later we’re at disney and we finally get to know the mysterious Chloe. Of course it’s POTS and the magic dog alerts to it despite no formal training to speak of. I’ve said it a dozen time but “POTS alert” makes absolutely no sense. The P in POTS stands for postural, relating to your posture, as in the heart rate spikes happen when you suddenly stand up and your blood pressure crashes, then your heart has to beat faster to get blood pumping to your brain. So if they say the dog gives them a 15 minute warning or whatever, like Jaquie used to, what they’re claiming is the dog knows that in 15 minutes they will stand up. Also LOLFAT.
Back at Shands two days later, this time at the respiratory care center. This dog looks miserable and anxious in every pic.
At this point Chloe has taken over the account. #ehlersdanlossyndrome. She lives in the dorms and Alice lives there with her.
Back at Disney, #chronicmigraines. Disney is a cool two hours from campus, for the record.
#hEDS #medicalmess
She’s going to a convention for the National Association of College and University Residence Halls which may be one of the most boring things I’ve ever heard of but she’s the only one with a dog so that makes her special.
There is something seriously disturbing to me about showering with the dog. I mean I guess if someone actually needs a SD for something then the dog in the bathroom makes sense but like.. she doesn’t, so she’s just choosing to bring her dog in the shower with her and it’s fucking weeeeird. I’m sure everyone else in the dorm likes the constant smell of wet dog, too.
#vestibularmigraine #vasovagalsyncope
In June she heads home to south Florida for an exciting round of more medical tests. #genetics. She goes to U of Miami hospital and says she’s there looking into different treatments for her conditions.
Back home but not for long – they fly up to Canada a few days later. This time it’s for a conference of the Association of College and University Housing Officers International. Who knew these things existed? And that someone would be so gung ho about being a dorm RA? Alas, much to my sorrow she does not lose her shit when social distancing starts and she loses her hall monitor status.
I want this one to start claiming GP so bad, but she’s not going to is she?
This one frustrates me with her lack of info, but the hashtags help. Aimovig is a -mab for migraines
Dog turns a year old.
She is in Nashville but no crossover with Jess Paulson and King Henry. Why must they tease me so?
She’s in Kentucky.
She’s back at Disney.
She’s in Pittsburgh. Wow this girl has a ton of energy and disposable income!
And back at disney.
Back to school and she is still obsessed with being a hall monitor.
A few days in Disney never hurt anyone!
Wow, she’s going to have an internship in hall monitoring at Drexel in Philadelphia, to start in summer 2020. She doesn’t know the punchline yet.
Back to Disney!
She’s going to be the head of the hall monitors for her whole division!
Also. Lol
Social distancing starts and she basically stops posting except for a few old pics with captions about how she has nothing new to report. She doesn’t start again until going to Disney becomes possible again.
Oh hi Whitney! Is it time for our first detour? I think it's time for our first detour!
Back to Chloe. Just because her feed is endless disney trips, conferences, and adventures doesn’t mean she’s not sick, you only see a small part of her day etc etc.
Oh look in the comments. Hi Alex!!! Guess it’s time to catch up with you now.
Back to Chloe again. Obligatory “I can go to disney in the heat despite my POTS because I take advantage of revolutionary spoonie lifehacks like air conditioning”
She goes back to school for her senior year and whomp whomp #zoom. She is a hall monitor with no sash.
This is pretty much the only back story we get from this one.
You know what also alerts you to tachycardia? Your heart, when it starts beating faster.
Do not take your dog to Disney. Only chloe and her fellow spoonies can take their dogs to disney.
Her shoulder is all fucked up with tendonitis and a labrum tear. Well we know this one ain’t doin gymnastics...
If these people spent half as much time worrying about actual problems as they do about picking apart the language people use. . . anyway speak of the devil, HI MEGAN! What has your BPD nightmare ass been up to these days?
That was fun, let’s go back to the hall monitor. She’s still boring and now only posts her dog in Disney. She has a brief freakout when the airlines change their policy for how service dogs are allowed to fly and she worries this will affect owner-trainers because she is one. Her dog is trained for nothing and just obedient enough to not expose itself as a pet.
FINALLY some back story. She had growing pains and this was definitely EDS and not an unfortunate growth spurt or being really fucking fat.
She’s gotten into grad school.
her POTS diagnosis journey is the only funny thing she’s done. She’s originally from Ohio and was seen at Cincinnati Children’s who didn’t diagnose her, then she went to a ton of cardios, neuros, and other specialists all without answers. She then went all the way to Boston Childrens who also shrugged her off. Finally she moved to Florida and got hospitalized one time for a week because of medication issues. The end. Wow she’s even boring when she’s giving away her grift. It’s almost impressive.
That year she fucks off all over the country to decide where she wants to go to grad school.
She finally decides on University of South Carolina where she’s majoring in hall monitor.
She’s weirdly obsessed with rankings. She went to the #1 and #2 childrens hospitals and graduated from the #6 public university.
“going to the parks takes a lot out of me and my fake disabilities unlike you normies who bounce right back." You know there's actually a form of transient vasculitis called "Disney Rash" caused by sedentary people suddenly walking more in the hot humid Florida weather.
“fatigue crash” = I had a normal respiratory infection.
More back story on her POTS. It wasn’t POTS. It was the opposite. Her HR would crash when she stood or exerted herself. So... it took so long to diagnose because she didn’t have it. Cool. She got diagnosed in college when she was old enough to figure out how to game a TTT. So the medfags in the thread are laughing already but for the rest of us what she's just described is reflex bradycardia. She doesn't have POTS, her blood pressure is too high and to keep it from spiking to dangerous levels every time she stands her body throttles her heart rate down. The solution is lifestyle changes to fix the high blood pressure i.e. stop being a sedentary fatass.
Lol she claims a cardiologist at UF told her to get a service dog, sure.
A few weeks into the school year she’s rushed to the ER with stroke-like symptoms. It’s just a really bad migraine and she’s discharged.
Hahaha fatty tried for the GP diagnosis and instead got the opposite, rapid gastric emptying aka dumping syndrome. It’s associated with bariatric surgery and a high-sugar diet and as far as we know she hasn’t had WLS. Solution: fix your diet, fatass. Despite what she says it does not cause the same symptoms as GP, it causes blood sugar issues, gut cramping, and wretched diarrhea.
After a long silence she comes here to cocktease me by announcing she visited the hospital 75 times in 2022 and didn’t post a single ER selfie to her grid. She’s gotten a port and never showed us. I hate her. I even chased her over to facebook but she’s fucking private.
Of course. So this account is not run by Chloe at first. It’s run by her mom (I think) while she’s away in college at UF in Gainesville. So Alice’s original training was apparently all done by her mom and thus the complete lack of actual health discussion.
Lol this retard put the vest on the dog backwards and went out like that.
So many different harnesses and leads on one dog. Mom or whoever this is has no fucking clue what she’s doing. Sawgrass Mills is in Sunrise, a suburb of Fort Lauderdale.
Lots of training fluff and no medical drama until May when Alice is flown up to Gainesville to meet Chloe at Shands Hospital. No mention of why she’s there.
Three days later we’re at disney and we finally get to know the mysterious Chloe. Of course it’s POTS and the magic dog alerts to it despite no formal training to speak of. I’ve said it a dozen time but “POTS alert” makes absolutely no sense. The P in POTS stands for postural, relating to your posture, as in the heart rate spikes happen when you suddenly stand up and your blood pressure crashes, then your heart has to beat faster to get blood pumping to your brain. So if they say the dog gives them a 15 minute warning or whatever, like Jaquie used to, what they’re claiming is the dog knows that in 15 minutes they will stand up. Also LOLFAT.
Back at Shands two days later, this time at the respiratory care center. This dog looks miserable and anxious in every pic.
At this point Chloe has taken over the account. #ehlersdanlossyndrome. She lives in the dorms and Alice lives there with her.
Back at Disney, #chronicmigraines. Disney is a cool two hours from campus, for the record.
#hEDS #medicalmess
She’s going to a convention for the National Association of College and University Residence Halls which may be one of the most boring things I’ve ever heard of but she’s the only one with a dog so that makes her special.
There is something seriously disturbing to me about showering with the dog. I mean I guess if someone actually needs a SD for something then the dog in the bathroom makes sense but like.. she doesn’t, so she’s just choosing to bring her dog in the shower with her and it’s fucking weeeeird. I’m sure everyone else in the dorm likes the constant smell of wet dog, too.
#vestibularmigraine #vasovagalsyncope
In June she heads home to south Florida for an exciting round of more medical tests. #genetics. She goes to U of Miami hospital and says she’s there looking into different treatments for her conditions.
Back home but not for long – they fly up to Canada a few days later. This time it’s for a conference of the Association of College and University Housing Officers International. Who knew these things existed? And that someone would be so gung ho about being a dorm RA? Alas, much to my sorrow she does not lose her shit when social distancing starts and she loses her hall monitor status.
I want this one to start claiming GP so bad, but she’s not going to is she?
This one frustrates me with her lack of info, but the hashtags help. Aimovig is a -mab for migraines
Dog turns a year old.
She is in Nashville but no crossover with Jess Paulson and King Henry. Why must they tease me so?
She’s in Kentucky.
She’s back at Disney.
She’s in Pittsburgh. Wow this girl has a ton of energy and disposable income!
And back at disney.
Back to school and she is still obsessed with being a hall monitor.
A few days in Disney never hurt anyone!
Wow, she’s going to have an internship in hall monitoring at Drexel in Philadelphia, to start in summer 2020. She doesn’t know the punchline yet.
Back to Disney!
She’s going to be the head of the hall monitors for her whole division!
Also. Lol
Social distancing starts and she basically stops posting except for a few old pics with captions about how she has nothing new to report. She doesn’t start again until going to Disney becomes possible again.
Oh hi Whitney! Is it time for our first detour? I think it's time for our first detour!
tl;dr on Whitney: working-class weeb, functionally illiterate, got a service dog and could not explain why she allegedly needed it, couldn’t afford to buy diagnoses, finally fucked her knees up through obesity and bought a wheelchair so she could bring her dog to her job at Disney. Whitney went private after I posted about her although I don’t think my post was the catalyst in her case, since she was already silent for months and had just gotten in that massive fight with Megan who mocked her for getting raped and said she deserved it to happen again when I posted. That fight started, according to Whitney, because Megan was set to move in with Whitney but Whitney asked her not to smoke weed in the house and that was enough to make Megan go full BPD Cunt Cyclone on her.
Whitney’s last posts were about how she was moving on with life and didn’t want to be involved in this shit anymore. Last time we checked in with her she had started a successful weeb enamel pin business and stopped talking about her health at all. The only public thing she posted since then is a GoFundMe after her house was flooded in Hurricane Ian this past fall. Shockingly, she never once mentions that she’s disabled. She makes a few posts as an explanation to her customers because all of her stock was a fucking write-off. The people who donate to her GFM are weebs, not spoonies, and all her updates are about trying to get her business back running.
Which she has. Shit's going great and she's still selling out everything she makes and has a ton of supporters on Patreon. There was some very minor drama regarding (I think) a set of pins that did not come out the way she wanted which was exacerbated by customers not reading the description properly. She has decided to cancel and refund all orders of this set. Lemme just say, this is shockingly mature and articulate and there seems to have been no additional fallout from this decision. I know we can't tell what she's doing IRL and last time she updated publicly she was still using her wheelchair when she worked at Disney but it really looks like Whitney realized munchie service dog drama was not fun and she'd rather just be a nerd, work at Disney, and sell pins on the side.
Whitney’s last posts were about how she was moving on with life and didn’t want to be involved in this shit anymore. Last time we checked in with her she had started a successful weeb enamel pin business and stopped talking about her health at all. The only public thing she posted since then is a GoFundMe after her house was flooded in Hurricane Ian this past fall. Shockingly, she never once mentions that she’s disabled. She makes a few posts as an explanation to her customers because all of her stock was a fucking write-off. The people who donate to her GFM are weebs, not spoonies, and all her updates are about trying to get her business back running.
Which she has. Shit's going great and she's still selling out everything she makes and has a ton of supporters on Patreon. There was some very minor drama regarding (I think) a set of pins that did not come out the way she wanted which was exacerbated by customers not reading the description properly. She has decided to cancel and refund all orders of this set. Lemme just say, this is shockingly mature and articulate and there seems to have been no additional fallout from this decision. I know we can't tell what she's doing IRL and last time she updated publicly she was still using her wheelchair when she worked at Disney but it really looks like Whitney realized munchie service dog drama was not fun and she'd rather just be a nerd, work at Disney, and sell pins on the side.
Back to Chloe. Just because her feed is endless disney trips, conferences, and adventures doesn’t mean she’s not sick, you only see a small part of her day etc etc.
Oh look in the comments. Hi Alex!!! Guess it’s time to catch up with you now.
Tl;dr: Dancer turned ME/CFS munchie who was friends with Jaquie early in Jaquie’s career and now orbits absolutely everyone with a service dog. Claims to have hundreds of allergies. Her SD Levi is a poorly-bred mutant with wrecked joints, whose high distractibility and inability to follow commands was brushed off by Alex as life-saving alerts or “willful disobedience” to keep her safe. Now fancies herself a professional trainer and has started her own service dog breeding and training program. Levi’s account is dead since he retired. She continues to post on her new SD Blossom’s account and reveals herself to be offensively healthy there.
She really only talks about muh mentulz.
God I had forgotten how retarded Levi looked lmao.
She’s mostly moved to tiktok and I do not fucking care enough to chase her over there if she’s just going to sperg about dog training. The only “interesting” thing she did is officially announce Blossom is going to be the golden breeder bitch for the service dog program. You’d think you wouldn’t want your “lifeline” to be out of work for months at a time while pregnant, whelping, and nursing pups but what the fuck do I know? She continues to make her other dogs churn out litters, many of whom are not in great health, but promises every litter has future service dogs… based on a temperament test she designed herself. Gee whiz, kid. Just write the punchlines for me.
She really only talks about muh mentulz.
God I had forgotten how retarded Levi looked lmao.
She’s mostly moved to tiktok and I do not fucking care enough to chase her over there if she’s just going to sperg about dog training. The only “interesting” thing she did is officially announce Blossom is going to be the golden breeder bitch for the service dog program. You’d think you wouldn’t want your “lifeline” to be out of work for months at a time while pregnant, whelping, and nursing pups but what the fuck do I know? She continues to make her other dogs churn out litters, many of whom are not in great health, but promises every litter has future service dogs… based on a temperament test she designed herself. Gee whiz, kid. Just write the punchlines for me.
Back to Chloe again. Obligatory “I can go to disney in the heat despite my POTS because I take advantage of revolutionary spoonie lifehacks like air conditioning”
She goes back to school for her senior year and whomp whomp #zoom. She is a hall monitor with no sash.
This is pretty much the only back story we get from this one.
You know what also alerts you to tachycardia? Your heart, when it starts beating faster.
Do not take your dog to Disney. Only chloe and her fellow spoonies can take their dogs to disney.
Her shoulder is all fucked up with tendonitis and a labrum tear. Well we know this one ain’t doin gymnastics...
If these people spent half as much time worrying about actual problems as they do about picking apart the language people use. . . anyway speak of the devil, HI MEGAN! What has your BPD nightmare ass been up to these days?
Tl;dr on Megan: self-confessed borderline with dog for psych tasks only, constantly suicide baiting her way into the grippy sock dungeon, claims everyone who comes in contact with her is abusive, massive army of retarded teenagers she mobilizes to screech at businesses for her if they ever do something she doesn’t like. Later changes to “it wasn’t borderline, it was just autism!” and the dog is now an autism service dog. Dipped her toes in the cool waters of physical disability faking for a while, got a second service dog for this purpose and bought herself a cheapie folding electric wheelchair for reasons she couldn’t articulate. After getting outed for mocking Whitney for getting raped, she suddenly became very nicey-nice and no longer raged out on the internet for attention. I can’t remember where we left off with this bucket of batshit so I picked a grid post at random and lo and behold, it’s about our old friend and punchline to a cosmic joke, Sydney Going. Sydney – who lies about other people and starts drama all the time, so do not believe her side of any story - insists that Megan got kicked out of universal and that Zazu the poodle barks in the kennel all the time at Disney. This is NOT TRUE and she simply let her pass lapse because she doesn’t like Universal.
Next post, HI ALEX!! Look what an angel Zazu is! And look how much less engagement Megan gets these days because no one fucking likes her. When she does, it’s often critical.
She PROVES that Sydney is a lying liar by posting a video of Zazu being calm. Alex is now in the comments of every post.
The tl;dr of this is “I have BPD and don’t want to admit that is my only problem.” She identifies as queer now and apologizes for being an edgeposter who said homophobic things before (people GASLIT her into it and anyway she was drunk so it’s not her fault). Everyone started hating her after that and it totally wasn’t her fault at all. This community is toxic and poor Megan is the victim! She only acted that way because everyone else is terrible and almost committed unalive because of it!
I will now take the time to include the text messages Whitney leaked where Megan mocks her for getting raped.
And Megan fighting with Whitney for using an E-collar and a prong incorrectly and hurting her dog. The one and only nice thing I will ever say about Megan is even people who got burned by her IRL who came to me with stories have nothing bad to say about Nala or her training.
Zazu is not living up to expectations, although she’s still saying he doesn’t bark in the crate and it’s just minor problems.
After years of screeching if anyone even looked at her or her dog and writing long lists of rules of how you are and are not allowed to interact with her, she’s trying to be the friendly, approachable handler you should meet up with.
And she only chimped in the past because she was "masking" her symptoms. It's definitely not a social media trend guys!
In December 2021 she suddenly stopped posting. Anyone who asks about her gets their comments deleted. Her twitter also goes dead. People circulate rumors that either Megan or Nala died and everyone was worried.
Lol Jk just a social media break! And it succeeded in its obvious purpose of making people come out of the woodwork to flood her with love and support again.
In June she announces she needs money to send Zazu for more training.
For weeks, endless posts of Nala and no Zazu to be found.
In october she officially washes Zazu. Well, at least she’s not a dick who keeps working a dog that has no business being in public. She’s selling her “gently used” wheelchair to fund a new puppy and doesn’t answer questions about Zazu’s fate.
After people start badgering her about Zazu she posts him at pet-friendly places.
Lol nope, she's working him again. Because she absolutely NEEDS two service dogs for maximum attention, guys.
Amazingly, in her stories on the first day I poked my head in for the past year she’s hanging out with… Sydney Going. Her story highlights have been wiped out.
Next post, HI ALEX!! Look what an angel Zazu is! And look how much less engagement Megan gets these days because no one fucking likes her. When she does, it’s often critical.
She PROVES that Sydney is a lying liar by posting a video of Zazu being calm. Alex is now in the comments of every post.
The tl;dr of this is “I have BPD and don’t want to admit that is my only problem.” She identifies as queer now and apologizes for being an edgeposter who said homophobic things before (people GASLIT her into it and anyway she was drunk so it’s not her fault). Everyone started hating her after that and it totally wasn’t her fault at all. This community is toxic and poor Megan is the victim! She only acted that way because everyone else is terrible and almost committed unalive because of it!
I will now take the time to include the text messages Whitney leaked where Megan mocks her for getting raped.
And Megan fighting with Whitney for using an E-collar and a prong incorrectly and hurting her dog. The one and only nice thing I will ever say about Megan is even people who got burned by her IRL who came to me with stories have nothing bad to say about Nala or her training.
Zazu is not living up to expectations, although she’s still saying he doesn’t bark in the crate and it’s just minor problems.
After years of screeching if anyone even looked at her or her dog and writing long lists of rules of how you are and are not allowed to interact with her, she’s trying to be the friendly, approachable handler you should meet up with.
And she only chimped in the past because she was "masking" her symptoms. It's definitely not a social media trend guys!
In December 2021 she suddenly stopped posting. Anyone who asks about her gets their comments deleted. Her twitter also goes dead. People circulate rumors that either Megan or Nala died and everyone was worried.
Lol Jk just a social media break! And it succeeded in its obvious purpose of making people come out of the woodwork to flood her with love and support again.
In June she announces she needs money to send Zazu for more training.
For weeks, endless posts of Nala and no Zazu to be found.
In october she officially washes Zazu. Well, at least she’s not a dick who keeps working a dog that has no business being in public. She’s selling her “gently used” wheelchair to fund a new puppy and doesn’t answer questions about Zazu’s fate.
After people start badgering her about Zazu she posts him at pet-friendly places.
Lol nope, she's working him again. Because she absolutely NEEDS two service dogs for maximum attention, guys.
Amazingly, in her stories on the first day I poked my head in for the past year she’s hanging out with… Sydney Going. Her story highlights have been wiped out.
That was fun, let’s go back to the hall monitor. She’s still boring and now only posts her dog in Disney. She has a brief freakout when the airlines change their policy for how service dogs are allowed to fly and she worries this will affect owner-trainers because she is one. Her dog is trained for nothing and just obedient enough to not expose itself as a pet.
FINALLY some back story. She had growing pains and this was definitely EDS and not an unfortunate growth spurt or being really fucking fat.
She’s gotten into grad school.
her POTS diagnosis journey is the only funny thing she’s done. She’s originally from Ohio and was seen at Cincinnati Children’s who didn’t diagnose her, then she went to a ton of cardios, neuros, and other specialists all without answers. She then went all the way to Boston Childrens who also shrugged her off. Finally she moved to Florida and got hospitalized one time for a week because of medication issues. The end. Wow she’s even boring when she’s giving away her grift. It’s almost impressive.
That year she fucks off all over the country to decide where she wants to go to grad school.
She finally decides on University of South Carolina where she’s majoring in hall monitor.
She’s weirdly obsessed with rankings. She went to the #1 and #2 childrens hospitals and graduated from the #6 public university.
“going to the parks takes a lot out of me and my fake disabilities unlike you normies who bounce right back." You know there's actually a form of transient vasculitis called "Disney Rash" caused by sedentary people suddenly walking more in the hot humid Florida weather.
“fatigue crash” = I had a normal respiratory infection.
More back story on her POTS. It wasn’t POTS. It was the opposite. Her HR would crash when she stood or exerted herself. So... it took so long to diagnose because she didn’t have it. Cool. She got diagnosed in college when she was old enough to figure out how to game a TTT. So the medfags in the thread are laughing already but for the rest of us what she's just described is reflex bradycardia. She doesn't have POTS, her blood pressure is too high and to keep it from spiking to dangerous levels every time she stands her body throttles her heart rate down. The solution is lifestyle changes to fix the high blood pressure i.e. stop being a sedentary fatass.
Lol she claims a cardiologist at UF told her to get a service dog, sure.
A few weeks into the school year she’s rushed to the ER with stroke-like symptoms. It’s just a really bad migraine and she’s discharged.
Hahaha fatty tried for the GP diagnosis and instead got the opposite, rapid gastric emptying aka dumping syndrome. It’s associated with bariatric surgery and a high-sugar diet and as far as we know she hasn’t had WLS. Solution: fix your diet, fatass. Despite what she says it does not cause the same symptoms as GP, it causes blood sugar issues, gut cramping, and wretched diarrhea.
After a long silence she comes here to cocktease me by announcing she visited the hospital 75 times in 2022 and didn’t post a single ER selfie to her grid. She’s gotten a port and never showed us. I hate her. I even chased her over to facebook but she’s fucking private.
But like I said her utility was mostly just as a jumping off point. Join me soon when we check out her infinitely more interesting “friends” in the weird incestuous world of girls with service dogs and disney passes instead of personalities.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2022
1. Cute dogs ITT
2. Spending money on a Master's in being an RA jesus christ grow up
2. Spending money on a Master's in being an RA jesus christ grow up
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2018
One of the people Chloe hangs out with a lot just before going to grad school is @kenyapluskuzco, another service dog account who seemingly spends all her time at Disney. Let’s see what she’s like.
Elisabeth Bise is what happens when you let social media influencers and fuck-you money raise your emotionally damaged child. She has had accounts since she was like 10 and has never not been very online. Her sister is/was an influencer. From basically elementary school, Elisabeth kept tabs on the trends and viral hashtag challenges social media had to offer and eventually tried to muscle in and make a name for herself. A huge Disney fan, she stumbled on the magical world of instagram service dog munchies young and decided that’s what she wanted to do with her life.
That’s Elisabeth. She thought she found her claim to social media fame in this community and realized it wasn’t what she expected, I guess. I’d feel bad for her but she can still live on her parents’ money... in a resort town in Colorado now!
Join me next time when I finally tackle the elephant in the room that I've been avoiding for oh, four years.
Elisabeth Bise is what happens when you let social media influencers and fuck-you money raise your emotionally damaged child. She has had accounts since she was like 10 and has never not been very online. Her sister is/was an influencer. From basically elementary school, Elisabeth kept tabs on the trends and viral hashtag challenges social media had to offer and eventually tried to muscle in and make a name for herself. A huge Disney fan, she stumbled on the magical world of instagram service dog munchies young and decided that’s what she wanted to do with her life.
I’ll try to keep her oldest pics to a minimum because she's very young and I also cropped out all her underage friends. I’m aware it’s kinda creepy but actually I found her through a specific dramatic event the whole rest of this series hinges on that can’t be discussed without discussing her – she is the one who blows the whistle on some real bullshit and gets the rest of the Floridaverse talking. Alright.
The short version here is Elisabeth is the youngest daughter of wealthy banking industry expats living in the Cayman Islands. She lives a jet set lifestyle from when she’s very young. Her family is Swiss but moved to Grand Cayman when she was a baby from what I can tell. Her biological dad was sent to work there in 2001, the same year she was born although she claims to have spent at least part of her youth living in Switzerland. Her stepfather is an Anglo (I think?) originally from Kenya and apparently had a business relationship with her biological father. Elisabeth and her sister jet up to Florida on a whim, see every big teenie bopper pop sensation no matter how high the ticket price, and never miss out on a new hot eyeshadow palette. She attends Cayman Prep, a private k-12 that costs upwards of $12,000 a year. All her friends are the children of wealthy expats who jet around the world on their school breaks. There’s a bunch of little fluff pieces about her in the Cayman Compass like this one where she makes a cupcake club to help the humane society and this one about she and her sister running a christmas toy drive to benefit the local peds hospitals.
This is not to say her life has been perfectly charmed and sheltered. In 2008 when she was around seven her father, Swiss banker Frederic Bise, was brutally murdered. The case was cold for half a decade before the murderer was found and tried and her family’s dirty laundry was aired out in the process. The murderer was a career criminal named Chad Anglin who is now serving a 34 year sentence. Anglin beat and strangled Bise, shoved him in the trunk of his own car, and lit it on fire in the driveway of his own home. A small mercy: Elisabeth’s parents were long divorced and the children did not have to witness this in person or live in the home their father was murdered in. The murderer gave several conflicting stories, including that Bise, who was gay, approached him at a snack stand and solicited him for sex, that Bise owed him an insubstantial amount of money he could have easily paid, and that Bise approached him to buy weed and they drove to his house to complete the transaction. The crown found that Anglin and another man planned to rob Bise and used an accomplice, Bise’s casual sex partner, to entice him to open the door in the middle of the night. Anglin did make off with Bise’s computer, bank cards, and other goods from the home but threw them out, apparently when he realized it would be too easy to connect the case to him. For some context for the following timeline, the killer’s identity was determined in a cold case investigation in 2012-13 and the conviction went through in 2014. So while the actual murder happened when she was very young, she was in her teens when the story of how her gay father’s dick quest ended in him being murdered made headlines all around the tiny island they live on. Most of this story can be found in Anglin’s appeals (a) but searching “Chad Anglin Cayman” in the google machine will bring up many fascinating articles and crime notices about what a waste of carbon this individual is and how 34 years is not nearly enough time in prison. Also that the Cayman police are totally ineffective, as Anglin had been the main suspect from the start and they had already built a case on him and they decided to do FUCK ALL with this information. Okay, there's your back story.
The first time we ever see her post about her health is in 2013 when she announces she has to have back surgery.
Next health post is just orthotics.
A few more scattered mentions of being in the hospital or trying to avoid going back. But whatever she's a kid and this is what passes for excitement in her life.
In this post she says she hasn’t been back to Switzerland in five years. This would roughly coincide with being sent there after her father’s murder, but who knows?
Oct 2013, tonsil surgery.
In April 2014 she gets a GSD puppy named Kenya.
The fault in our stars.
In June 2014 she leaves school to do homeschooling instead. This was right after the murder trial ended. (Image cropped because it's of other children)
She goes to Vidcon in LA and meets a bunch of people I’ve never heard of. The only one whose name I even recognized was Gigi Gorgeous and I only know him as a troon sex pest, but I repeat myself.
Still vagueposting about hospital visits
She briefly posts in a blog where we get the first real in depth look into one of her health issues, chronic stomach pain. She gets a HIDA scan to check her gallbladder after being told it’s anxiety. Her gallbladder is hyperactive and has to be removed even though the doctors say it’s not necessary. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was having pain (although I think it’s probably anxiety given that everyone on the island just heard about her family’s business) and truly thought the surgery was what she needed. She also gets a sleep study for insomnia.
Another sinus surgery for chronic migraines.
Kenya’s account starts in 2015 as a normal dog account. She’s training agility and enters a bunch of dog related contests.
Another surgery
On youtube she tells us it’s a revision to her earlier sinus surgery after she developed an adhesion
This comment about Boston is foreshadowing.
I haven’t really discussed this much but Elie is copying her older sister Victoria who had a moderately successful teen lifestyle-type youtube, giving makeup and fashion tips and following silly trending hashtags. Victoria has apparently wiped out her youtube leaving only a few videos behind. Her account isn’t that interesting. Just shows more of what we know: these girls were spoiled rotten from birth. She is now a very calculated and curated influencer account with no drama and few whoopsie slips of information Elisabeth was trying to keep quiet.
She does let us know Kenya has been registered as an ESA.
In the ER in unbearable pain all day.
Hospitalized, doesn’t say way.
Traveling to new york and boston for medical reasons. I’m gonna guess the Cayman Islands do not have cutting edge children’s hospitals and they have the money, so fine. Whatever. Knock your socks off.
She never says what she did there, gets home and spends a month traveling Australia with one of her expat friends.
Our already-not-svelt handler has gotten quite chonky in just a few months. I think the trial really fucked this kid up, is what I’m trying to say.
Serious surgery. She’s officially a #spoonie and has #occipitalneuralgia
More surgeries. But oh my god the tiny teacup yorkie is a service dog now and the GSD will be one soon. LOL LOL LOL.
Surgery again, I guess another sinus surgery.
Yeah it’s a toy breed lap dog, it shouldn’t be “working.” It’s barely a dog.
Alerted to what? What the fuck tasks does this 6 lb muppet allegedly perform?
Suddenly she’s been task training the dog forever.
Deep pressure therapy = my dog snuggles with me.
She occasionally posts about fitness shit then quickly abandons it. If you can’t guess by the handle, acatwhotrainsdogs is one of our new BEST friends and I will introduce us all soon!
After many weeks of nothing on her dog’s account, she announces she needs a proper diagnosis and is mad she can’t just go to the ER to get treatment for her chronic illnesses like those mainlanders do.
On main she posts this gnarly post-surgery pic and oh boy. #POTS #fibromyalgia.
She goes to disney and hangs out with this other SD munchie.
You know what alerts to migraines? Your central nervous system.
Another medical trip, starting a new unnamed treatment.
Being calm and quiet is like, basic obedience, not super elite service dog shit.
In august 2017 she announces a new service dog, a golden named Kuzco that will be trained by someone competent. We learn that the competent trainers are Expanding Intelligence owned by acatwhotrainsdogs, who we have run across many times – they have a huge amount of overlap with the Disney-n-Dogz munchie set - but never really dug into. We will!
On that note our first formal introduction to Kuzco is, of course, at Disney. Where else can one possibly train a dog?
Disney makes all her health problems go away!
A few more vague posts about her medications making her sick and oh blessed day, she’s a chronic lyme disease truther now! By the way Kuzco lives with Expanding Intelligence as part of their dubious service dog program in Florida. Elisabeth flies up to see him every few weeks but she won’t have him full time for months.
Several concurrent flu infections.
In november she goes to a lyme literate quack in DC.
She threw away a life in paradise doing whatever she wanted to play sick babygirl because she wanted to bring her dog to disney for social media clout lol. The sad part is, it worked. She gets much more engagement on her posts with Kuzco than she ever did on her normal posts.
On the tenth anniversary of her father’s murder she makes the first post about him, showing she still had at least some relationship with him when he was murdered. It appears mom got custody but dad stayed a part of their lives and they all remained on Grand Cayman.
Anyway, woo, we’re in Colorado now!
And now utah!
The big exciting surprise that kept her from posting was idk some youtuber I never heard of put her dog in a video.
JK she just took a social media break and that happened to happen at the same time. At last she’s 18 and I can stop feeling like a creep for stalking her socials.
Apparently at some point she did try to live in Switzerland and it didn’t work out. I really can’t work out the timeline for when she lived there because like… I don’t care. My assumption is she was sent there after her father’s murder, as I said, because she says in 2013 that she hasn’t been there since 2008.
Health posts move to her dog account now. She’s still battling lyme disease and now she’s headed to Wisconsin for a new treatment.
This is true, ticks can indeed stay alive underwater for several days. The best bet to kill them quickly is to drop them in alcohol. What she doesn’t say is that it also takes several days of them being attached to you to be able to transmit lyme disease because the bacteria has to undergo a chemical process to enable it to survive a human host. In fact, kids are way more likely to contract it because they’re a) more likely to be outside to begin with but also b) less likely to notice a tick on them until it’s been attached for two days and gotten fat enough for mom to see it.
Lol this lyme fact made me laugh. Yes, that’s because those people claiming chronic lyme but no tick to be found do not have lyme disease and there was no tick.
Hark, a picc line.
Lol a whole bunch of people just realized she was full of shit and unfollowed her. She’s in Sarasota, Fl getting ketamine from a clinic that specializes only in pain relief through marijuana and ketamine. For when you need to medicalize your high.
It’s so hard to fuck off around the world seeking expensive boutique treatments insurance doesn’t cover for my made up disease!
lol she wants to be one of the skinny girls so bad.
Immunodeficient lol. Kuzco officially graduated and lives with her now.
She was apparently hospitalized in Switzerland. She didn't mention it at the time and the whole trip was just played off as a fun adventure to see her granparents and soak up her native culture for the first time in years.
“Let go of toxic people” what’s this then?
After this her posting gets really intermittent on all accounts. She’s stopped youtubing years ago. Her personal insta has turned into tone deaf posts about her tough life of traveling from the vacation spot she lives in to theme parks, music festivals, and tony ski resorts with hardly a mention of her super real disabilities. Sometimes it's funny like this post. First of all, what the fuck service can the dog provide while you’re skiing and second if you are able to leave him somewhere while you ski you do not need him, also how the fuck you gonna get him up the slopes and what’s he going to do, run down by your side? So much stupid in one post it makes my head feel like it’s going to explode. I’ve never even been skiing I just fucking love dogs and want these girls to stop doing dumb shit to them.
This is just one example of why Expanding Intelligence gets to be our friend. Suddenly she is a strong proponent of shock collar training for dogs because thats how they trained her puppy.
She's getting nerve decompression surgery. This is actually the second time she does it. She posts some pics from the first time here.
But she gets to pretend to be the cool stoner girl with her CBD pen.
The second surgery is even worse than the first. She is treated terribly and it’s BAD.
And she has the motherfucker gene so she can’t take tylenol.
So she malingered for drugs and they tried to discharge her instead, cool.
This is mild flushing, not red man syndrome.
This is Red Man Syndrome
She manages to malinger a little longer without getting the old boot.
DOCTOR BAD.
At home she's being a whiny bitch.
Disney, tho
HAHAH NO THE FUCK YOU DID NOT. Brown recluse venom causes necrotic ulceration at the bite spot that requires medical treatment so you don’t lose that part of your body. But furthermore, the only species known to transmit lyme disease is ticks of the genus Ixodes. As explained already, a simple bite is not enough, the tick has to be attached for hours before the bacteria has undergone a chemical process that allows it to survive in the human body, which only begins when the tick starts feeding.
There’s our old friend, EDS! Constant nausea and vomiting that damages her teeth. Yet she manages to remain robust! What luck!
She slipped in the tub.
Now she’s giving up the goods. Her PICC is her favorite thing. Shes’ getting the typical woo lyme combo of unnecessary “chemo” and antibiotics to treat a disease that doesn’t exist (and in the process induce side effects that the quack will then prescribe more treatments for!) She now has iV fluids for POTS and the ketamine she mentioned is for joint pain and the migraines. This has allowed her to do whatever she wants whenever she wants while still claiming to be too sick to do anything. and yes, that's a christmas tree decorated with medical trash.
OH HI SYDNEY! What’s our favorite punchline been up to these days?
Back to Elisabeth. Not sure what happened here but both the dog and the human have new scars. I think hers is just the healing from the nerve decompression?
In her stories she also mentions a GI series but never updates on the result.
She does pretend to need ensure to keep her weight up though.
Elisabeth, you're good on that front.
PICC is not as much fun as she thought it would be when it prevents her from living her fun life of fucking off around the island.
So in June 2019 she posts this aerial pic of Grand Cayman #moving #relocation
She has moved to Tampa and is officially a Florida Woman!
She buys a house. Rather, her parents buy a house for her.
#MCAS
This woman has cancer. Nice one, kid.
Obligatory “I have a service dog therefore I must sit in store aisles with him”
No more picc.
Now she has a port.
And IVIG. Because of course she does.
“restarting Kuzco’s training from scratch.” hmmmmmmmm
Tagging Beef Swellington in a post about her infusion backpack.
Lost people we thought were friends. . .
I wouldn’t worry about that, kid.
#mals #trigemnianeuralgia. Lmao nope.
Two weeks of hospitalization and another post about how she is pulling back from the toxic elements of the service dog community. Wow you mean a bunch of catty self-serving dog-abusing social media vipers who are obsessed with being the sickest most disabledest disney princess of them all aren’t the best of friends to make?
Why am I so amused by the fact that the tiny accessory dog has lupus? I didn’t even know dogs could get lupus.
Stupid florida doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong and only her enabling GP in Grand Cayman knew or some shit. Remember when she was on Grand Cayman and the doctors there were terrible and didn’t know shit so she had to fly to Florida every week?
LOL yeah imagine, it’s almost like every attention seeker in the world is currently claiming these disorders.
She went to California to have open abdo MALS surgery. That wasn’t as fun as she expected either.
But it gets her a cool gnarly scar and unlike Jamie she actually shows us she got it done.
uh oh scary complications.
Her port is fucked and has to be replaced. The new one is also fucked.
Yeah dumbass, you know why it’s so expensive? Because it takes as many donations as it costs dollars to make a single dose, so that you can feel special on the internet for 10 minutes.
The memorials for her dad have become annual now.
HI ALEX!!! Why do you always show up when someone becomes a pariah in the rest of the “community?” lmao
Covid has descended upon us.
And she’s almost ready to open up about service dog drama. Abusive and unethical, you say????
A nice post about how she always medicalizes her birthday for maximum asspat. She was planning to spend this one recovering from another new surgery but covid ruined THAT for her.
The dog was in LA for some podcast and she didn’t go because covid? Or something? I guess she didn’t need his life-saving alerts as much as she needed social media fame. Anyway she gets a ton of new followers from this.
“He looks so much healthier than when EI had him.” On her personal account she’s been totally silent and on her SD account it’s mere breadcrumbs.
Lmao it’s like they’re all cut from a template, god damn.
Here we go! Expanding Intelligence charged Elisabeth('s parents) $25k to train the dog in their “program.” Before this, Elisabeth formed a friendship with these girls and trusted them. When their “program” was finished Kuzco knew obedience and none of the tasks she paid for. The trainers were catty as shit to each other and their clients and neglectful of their dogs. Kuzco would be left crated for too long and suffered UTIs, was not kept to any sort of schedule, and was pushed through brutal hours at the park too young. When Elisabeth came to get him, he had a septic infection from long-term neglect and flea colonization. He had major behavior issues they couldn’t fix but released him as a service dog anyway. Elisabeth later discovered that her dog, which she was told came from a great breeder with full health certs, really came from a backyard breeder via a puppy flipper. They sold seriously inbred and fucked up dogs as fit for work, their own personal service dogs are insane and aggressive, and many other people have been speaking up about how unfit they are to train basic obedience let alone medical tasks. The comments are an absolute goldmine. Megan and an EI white knight duke it out. Lady and the Hounds is another dog-abusing retard trying to make a SD program based on coonhounds, a notoriously stubborn hunting breed. Sydney shows up to claim that one of their personal dogs attacked Kida and Schmendrick on two different occasions and the only person who took it seriously was an EI trainer named Kayla, who has since cut all ties with them too. The staff at the boarding kennel/daycare Kuzco went to on Grand Cayman right after she got him from EI confirms that he wasn’t prepared for service work and fought with other dogs. Mel, herself an insane dog trainer who turns her nose up at anyone who insists positive reinforcement model is the way to go, who has fought with nearly everyone in the “community” at one point or another, joins in to dunk on them and say she, too, witnessed Kuzco’s behavior issues before he was released and how they did nothing to fix it. There’s proof Mel was around during Kuzco’s training but we’ll get there.
The magic continues in her stories. This first one is just attention seeker olympics, as far as I’m concerned. They ignore a “seizure” from one girl while a crowd surrounds them and then say she’s just causing a distraction which, lol based. The second is them trying to defend the inbreeding and someone more familiar explaining this is an alarmingly high COI beyond even puppy mill rejects. After that she just embraces the drama reblogging what everyone else says in the ensuing dogpile.
Speaking of people who shouldn’t be breeding or training service dogs, she now works with Alex, whose mutant golden retriever never learned to heel properly and whose high distractibility she brushed off as “tasks.”
Hi Chloe!!! You finally made it!
Another memorial for her dad. I guess she’s finally processing the trauma so good for her.
Kuzco turns four and they go to Disney with Chloe/Alice and Alex/Blossom.
Turning four means he’s past his expiration date and she needs a new puppy.
Yep.
The little teacup yorkie she claimed was a service dog dies of ancient.
She takes a break after this and gets very boring.
The one who had lupus also died.
She’s moved to Colorado where her sister also lived. Her sister has since moved to London.
She's gone back to Grand Cayman for a visit looking very much older than 22
Back in Colorado she's taking advantage of legal recreational weed.
At least a few months ago she still had a port and is getting ketamine again
And as of three days ago, she's in Tennessee being carried down a mountain by her much slimmer sister. Her sister's account has gone private since my first archive so I don't know if she's back in the states permanently or just visiting.
The short version here is Elisabeth is the youngest daughter of wealthy banking industry expats living in the Cayman Islands. She lives a jet set lifestyle from when she’s very young. Her family is Swiss but moved to Grand Cayman when she was a baby from what I can tell. Her biological dad was sent to work there in 2001, the same year she was born although she claims to have spent at least part of her youth living in Switzerland. Her stepfather is an Anglo (I think?) originally from Kenya and apparently had a business relationship with her biological father. Elisabeth and her sister jet up to Florida on a whim, see every big teenie bopper pop sensation no matter how high the ticket price, and never miss out on a new hot eyeshadow palette. She attends Cayman Prep, a private k-12 that costs upwards of $12,000 a year. All her friends are the children of wealthy expats who jet around the world on their school breaks. There’s a bunch of little fluff pieces about her in the Cayman Compass like this one where she makes a cupcake club to help the humane society and this one about she and her sister running a christmas toy drive to benefit the local peds hospitals.
This is not to say her life has been perfectly charmed and sheltered. In 2008 when she was around seven her father, Swiss banker Frederic Bise, was brutally murdered. The case was cold for half a decade before the murderer was found and tried and her family’s dirty laundry was aired out in the process. The murderer was a career criminal named Chad Anglin who is now serving a 34 year sentence. Anglin beat and strangled Bise, shoved him in the trunk of his own car, and lit it on fire in the driveway of his own home. A small mercy: Elisabeth’s parents were long divorced and the children did not have to witness this in person or live in the home their father was murdered in. The murderer gave several conflicting stories, including that Bise, who was gay, approached him at a snack stand and solicited him for sex, that Bise owed him an insubstantial amount of money he could have easily paid, and that Bise approached him to buy weed and they drove to his house to complete the transaction. The crown found that Anglin and another man planned to rob Bise and used an accomplice, Bise’s casual sex partner, to entice him to open the door in the middle of the night. Anglin did make off with Bise’s computer, bank cards, and other goods from the home but threw them out, apparently when he realized it would be too easy to connect the case to him. For some context for the following timeline, the killer’s identity was determined in a cold case investigation in 2012-13 and the conviction went through in 2014. So while the actual murder happened when she was very young, she was in her teens when the story of how her gay father’s dick quest ended in him being murdered made headlines all around the tiny island they live on. Most of this story can be found in Anglin’s appeals (a) but searching “Chad Anglin Cayman” in the google machine will bring up many fascinating articles and crime notices about what a waste of carbon this individual is and how 34 years is not nearly enough time in prison. Also that the Cayman police are totally ineffective, as Anglin had been the main suspect from the start and they had already built a case on him and they decided to do FUCK ALL with this information. Okay, there's your back story.
The first time we ever see her post about her health is in 2013 when she announces she has to have back surgery.
Next health post is just orthotics.
A few more scattered mentions of being in the hospital or trying to avoid going back. But whatever she's a kid and this is what passes for excitement in her life.
In this post she says she hasn’t been back to Switzerland in five years. This would roughly coincide with being sent there after her father’s murder, but who knows?
Oct 2013, tonsil surgery.
In April 2014 she gets a GSD puppy named Kenya.
The fault in our stars.
In June 2014 she leaves school to do homeschooling instead. This was right after the murder trial ended. (Image cropped because it's of other children)
She goes to Vidcon in LA and meets a bunch of people I’ve never heard of. The only one whose name I even recognized was Gigi Gorgeous and I only know him as a troon sex pest, but I repeat myself.
Still vagueposting about hospital visits
She briefly posts in a blog where we get the first real in depth look into one of her health issues, chronic stomach pain. She gets a HIDA scan to check her gallbladder after being told it’s anxiety. Her gallbladder is hyperactive and has to be removed even though the doctors say it’s not necessary. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was having pain (although I think it’s probably anxiety given that everyone on the island just heard about her family’s business) and truly thought the surgery was what she needed. She also gets a sleep study for insomnia.
Another sinus surgery for chronic migraines.
Kenya’s account starts in 2015 as a normal dog account. She’s training agility and enters a bunch of dog related contests.
Another surgery
On youtube she tells us it’s a revision to her earlier sinus surgery after she developed an adhesion
This comment about Boston is foreshadowing.
I haven’t really discussed this much but Elie is copying her older sister Victoria who had a moderately successful teen lifestyle-type youtube, giving makeup and fashion tips and following silly trending hashtags. Victoria has apparently wiped out her youtube leaving only a few videos behind. Her account isn’t that interesting. Just shows more of what we know: these girls were spoiled rotten from birth. She is now a very calculated and curated influencer account with no drama and few whoopsie slips of information Elisabeth was trying to keep quiet.
She does let us know Kenya has been registered as an ESA.
In the ER in unbearable pain all day.
Hospitalized, doesn’t say way.
Traveling to new york and boston for medical reasons. I’m gonna guess the Cayman Islands do not have cutting edge children’s hospitals and they have the money, so fine. Whatever. Knock your socks off.
She never says what she did there, gets home and spends a month traveling Australia with one of her expat friends.
Our already-not-svelt handler has gotten quite chonky in just a few months. I think the trial really fucked this kid up, is what I’m trying to say.
Serious surgery. She’s officially a #spoonie and has #occipitalneuralgia
More surgeries. But oh my god the tiny teacup yorkie is a service dog now and the GSD will be one soon. LOL LOL LOL.
Surgery again, I guess another sinus surgery.
Yeah it’s a toy breed lap dog, it shouldn’t be “working.” It’s barely a dog.
Alerted to what? What the fuck tasks does this 6 lb muppet allegedly perform?
Suddenly she’s been task training the dog forever.
Deep pressure therapy = my dog snuggles with me.
She occasionally posts about fitness shit then quickly abandons it. If you can’t guess by the handle, acatwhotrainsdogs is one of our new BEST friends and I will introduce us all soon!
After many weeks of nothing on her dog’s account, she announces she needs a proper diagnosis and is mad she can’t just go to the ER to get treatment for her chronic illnesses like those mainlanders do.
On main she posts this gnarly post-surgery pic and oh boy. #POTS #fibromyalgia.
She goes to disney and hangs out with this other SD munchie.
You know what alerts to migraines? Your central nervous system.
Another medical trip, starting a new unnamed treatment.
Being calm and quiet is like, basic obedience, not super elite service dog shit.
In august 2017 she announces a new service dog, a golden named Kuzco that will be trained by someone competent. We learn that the competent trainers are Expanding Intelligence owned by acatwhotrainsdogs, who we have run across many times – they have a huge amount of overlap with the Disney-n-Dogz munchie set - but never really dug into. We will!
On that note our first formal introduction to Kuzco is, of course, at Disney. Where else can one possibly train a dog?
Disney makes all her health problems go away!
A few more vague posts about her medications making her sick and oh blessed day, she’s a chronic lyme disease truther now! By the way Kuzco lives with Expanding Intelligence as part of their dubious service dog program in Florida. Elisabeth flies up to see him every few weeks but she won’t have him full time for months.
Several concurrent flu infections.
In november she goes to a lyme literate quack in DC.
She threw away a life in paradise doing whatever she wanted to play sick babygirl because she wanted to bring her dog to disney for social media clout lol. The sad part is, it worked. She gets much more engagement on her posts with Kuzco than she ever did on her normal posts.
On the tenth anniversary of her father’s murder she makes the first post about him, showing she still had at least some relationship with him when he was murdered. It appears mom got custody but dad stayed a part of their lives and they all remained on Grand Cayman.
Anyway, woo, we’re in Colorado now!
And now utah!
The big exciting surprise that kept her from posting was idk some youtuber I never heard of put her dog in a video.
JK she just took a social media break and that happened to happen at the same time. At last she’s 18 and I can stop feeling like a creep for stalking her socials.
Apparently at some point she did try to live in Switzerland and it didn’t work out. I really can’t work out the timeline for when she lived there because like… I don’t care. My assumption is she was sent there after her father’s murder, as I said, because she says in 2013 that she hasn’t been there since 2008.
Health posts move to her dog account now. She’s still battling lyme disease and now she’s headed to Wisconsin for a new treatment.
This is true, ticks can indeed stay alive underwater for several days. The best bet to kill them quickly is to drop them in alcohol. What she doesn’t say is that it also takes several days of them being attached to you to be able to transmit lyme disease because the bacteria has to undergo a chemical process to enable it to survive a human host. In fact, kids are way more likely to contract it because they’re a) more likely to be outside to begin with but also b) less likely to notice a tick on them until it’s been attached for two days and gotten fat enough for mom to see it.
Lol this lyme fact made me laugh. Yes, that’s because those people claiming chronic lyme but no tick to be found do not have lyme disease and there was no tick.
Hark, a picc line.
Lol a whole bunch of people just realized she was full of shit and unfollowed her. She’s in Sarasota, Fl getting ketamine from a clinic that specializes only in pain relief through marijuana and ketamine. For when you need to medicalize your high.
It’s so hard to fuck off around the world seeking expensive boutique treatments insurance doesn’t cover for my made up disease!
lol she wants to be one of the skinny girls so bad.
Immunodeficient lol. Kuzco officially graduated and lives with her now.
She was apparently hospitalized in Switzerland. She didn't mention it at the time and the whole trip was just played off as a fun adventure to see her granparents and soak up her native culture for the first time in years.
“Let go of toxic people” what’s this then?
After this her posting gets really intermittent on all accounts. She’s stopped youtubing years ago. Her personal insta has turned into tone deaf posts about her tough life of traveling from the vacation spot she lives in to theme parks, music festivals, and tony ski resorts with hardly a mention of her super real disabilities. Sometimes it's funny like this post. First of all, what the fuck service can the dog provide while you’re skiing and second if you are able to leave him somewhere while you ski you do not need him, also how the fuck you gonna get him up the slopes and what’s he going to do, run down by your side? So much stupid in one post it makes my head feel like it’s going to explode. I’ve never even been skiing I just fucking love dogs and want these girls to stop doing dumb shit to them.
This is just one example of why Expanding Intelligence gets to be our friend. Suddenly she is a strong proponent of shock collar training for dogs because thats how they trained her puppy.
She's getting nerve decompression surgery. This is actually the second time she does it. She posts some pics from the first time here.
But she gets to pretend to be the cool stoner girl with her CBD pen.
The second surgery is even worse than the first. She is treated terribly and it’s BAD.
And she has the motherfucker gene so she can’t take tylenol.
So she malingered for drugs and they tried to discharge her instead, cool.
This is mild flushing, not red man syndrome.
This is Red Man Syndrome
She manages to malinger a little longer without getting the old boot.
DOCTOR BAD.
At home she's being a whiny bitch.
Disney, tho
HAHAH NO THE FUCK YOU DID NOT. Brown recluse venom causes necrotic ulceration at the bite spot that requires medical treatment so you don’t lose that part of your body. But furthermore, the only species known to transmit lyme disease is ticks of the genus Ixodes. As explained already, a simple bite is not enough, the tick has to be attached for hours before the bacteria has undergone a chemical process that allows it to survive in the human body, which only begins when the tick starts feeding.
There’s our old friend, EDS! Constant nausea and vomiting that damages her teeth. Yet she manages to remain robust! What luck!
She slipped in the tub.
Now she’s giving up the goods. Her PICC is her favorite thing. Shes’ getting the typical woo lyme combo of unnecessary “chemo” and antibiotics to treat a disease that doesn’t exist (and in the process induce side effects that the quack will then prescribe more treatments for!) She now has iV fluids for POTS and the ketamine she mentioned is for joint pain and the migraines. This has allowed her to do whatever she wants whenever she wants while still claiming to be too sick to do anything. and yes, that's a christmas tree decorated with medical trash.
OH HI SYDNEY! What’s our favorite punchline been up to these days?
Tl;dr Sydney is a walking catastrophe who was so inexplicably bad at everything she did that it was astounding. She’d get a new job and get fired for faking a seizure and smacking her head on the desk in the first week. Her finest work is when she got Trevino to prescribe her a wheelchair and took it to PT for an assessment and they straight up laughed at her and told her it’s unethical to fill the order because she doesn’t need it. So she spent two hours having (and filming herself having!) fake seizures while they ignored her and they wouldn’t even give her the prescription back. Her second best work was when she accused some grifting furry zoophile weirdos she was hanging out with of raping her and in the process made the dogfuckers look like the sane ones.
The only funny thing I caught about her is she unironically has a chinese crested as a “””service dog””” now.
She’s also selling her wheelchair because she wants a power chair.
Despite that she works at a pirate-themed tourist attraction that does short cruises around the bay and has to stand/walk/general pirate business for her shift.
Sydney has stopped posting publicly basically everywhere. Her mother has a few public posts still up about Sydney but not too much interesting and she has also stopped public posting. Sydney’s going back to school finally.
And her genderblob sister has now gone full troon, lives in Albuquerque, and is hanging out with the sideshow freaks of our current administration. Reminder that mom has been obsessed with transgender and “queer” youth for a long time, way before the daughter decided to mutilate herself, and mom couldn’t be happier to have a Person of Gender of her own to parade around.
The only funny thing I caught about her is she unironically has a chinese crested as a “””service dog””” now.
She’s also selling her wheelchair because she wants a power chair.
Despite that she works at a pirate-themed tourist attraction that does short cruises around the bay and has to stand/walk/general pirate business for her shift.
Sydney has stopped posting publicly basically everywhere. Her mother has a few public posts still up about Sydney but not too much interesting and she has also stopped public posting. Sydney’s going back to school finally.
And her genderblob sister has now gone full troon, lives in Albuquerque, and is hanging out with the sideshow freaks of our current administration. Reminder that mom has been obsessed with transgender and “queer” youth for a long time, way before the daughter decided to mutilate herself, and mom couldn’t be happier to have a Person of Gender of her own to parade around.
Back to Elisabeth. Not sure what happened here but both the dog and the human have new scars. I think hers is just the healing from the nerve decompression?
In her stories she also mentions a GI series but never updates on the result.
She does pretend to need ensure to keep her weight up though.
Elisabeth, you're good on that front.
PICC is not as much fun as she thought it would be when it prevents her from living her fun life of fucking off around the island.
So in June 2019 she posts this aerial pic of Grand Cayman #moving #relocation
She has moved to Tampa and is officially a Florida Woman!
She buys a house. Rather, her parents buy a house for her.
#MCAS
This woman has cancer. Nice one, kid.
Obligatory “I have a service dog therefore I must sit in store aisles with him”
No more picc.
Now she has a port.
And IVIG. Because of course she does.
“restarting Kuzco’s training from scratch.” hmmmmmmmm
Tagging Beef Swellington in a post about her infusion backpack.
Lost people we thought were friends. . .
I wouldn’t worry about that, kid.
#mals #trigemnianeuralgia. Lmao nope.
Two weeks of hospitalization and another post about how she is pulling back from the toxic elements of the service dog community. Wow you mean a bunch of catty self-serving dog-abusing social media vipers who are obsessed with being the sickest most disabledest disney princess of them all aren’t the best of friends to make?
Why am I so amused by the fact that the tiny accessory dog has lupus? I didn’t even know dogs could get lupus.
Stupid florida doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong and only her enabling GP in Grand Cayman knew or some shit. Remember when she was on Grand Cayman and the doctors there were terrible and didn’t know shit so she had to fly to Florida every week?
LOL yeah imagine, it’s almost like every attention seeker in the world is currently claiming these disorders.
She went to California to have open abdo MALS surgery. That wasn’t as fun as she expected either.
But it gets her a cool gnarly scar and unlike Jamie she actually shows us she got it done.
uh oh scary complications.
Her port is fucked and has to be replaced. The new one is also fucked.
Yeah dumbass, you know why it’s so expensive? Because it takes as many donations as it costs dollars to make a single dose, so that you can feel special on the internet for 10 minutes.
The memorials for her dad have become annual now.
HI ALEX!!! Why do you always show up when someone becomes a pariah in the rest of the “community?” lmao
Covid has descended upon us.
And she’s almost ready to open up about service dog drama. Abusive and unethical, you say????
A nice post about how she always medicalizes her birthday for maximum asspat. She was planning to spend this one recovering from another new surgery but covid ruined THAT for her.
The dog was in LA for some podcast and she didn’t go because covid? Or something? I guess she didn’t need his life-saving alerts as much as she needed social media fame. Anyway she gets a ton of new followers from this.
“He looks so much healthier than when EI had him.” On her personal account she’s been totally silent and on her SD account it’s mere breadcrumbs.
Lmao it’s like they’re all cut from a template, god damn.
Here we go! Expanding Intelligence charged Elisabeth('s parents) $25k to train the dog in their “program.” Before this, Elisabeth formed a friendship with these girls and trusted them. When their “program” was finished Kuzco knew obedience and none of the tasks she paid for. The trainers were catty as shit to each other and their clients and neglectful of their dogs. Kuzco would be left crated for too long and suffered UTIs, was not kept to any sort of schedule, and was pushed through brutal hours at the park too young. When Elisabeth came to get him, he had a septic infection from long-term neglect and flea colonization. He had major behavior issues they couldn’t fix but released him as a service dog anyway. Elisabeth later discovered that her dog, which she was told came from a great breeder with full health certs, really came from a backyard breeder via a puppy flipper. They sold seriously inbred and fucked up dogs as fit for work, their own personal service dogs are insane and aggressive, and many other people have been speaking up about how unfit they are to train basic obedience let alone medical tasks. The comments are an absolute goldmine. Megan and an EI white knight duke it out. Lady and the Hounds is another dog-abusing retard trying to make a SD program based on coonhounds, a notoriously stubborn hunting breed. Sydney shows up to claim that one of their personal dogs attacked Kida and Schmendrick on two different occasions and the only person who took it seriously was an EI trainer named Kayla, who has since cut all ties with them too. The staff at the boarding kennel/daycare Kuzco went to on Grand Cayman right after she got him from EI confirms that he wasn’t prepared for service work and fought with other dogs. Mel, herself an insane dog trainer who turns her nose up at anyone who insists positive reinforcement model is the way to go, who has fought with nearly everyone in the “community” at one point or another, joins in to dunk on them and say she, too, witnessed Kuzco’s behavior issues before he was released and how they did nothing to fix it. There’s proof Mel was around during Kuzco’s training but we’ll get there.
The magic continues in her stories. This first one is just attention seeker olympics, as far as I’m concerned. They ignore a “seizure” from one girl while a crowd surrounds them and then say she’s just causing a distraction which, lol based. The second is them trying to defend the inbreeding and someone more familiar explaining this is an alarmingly high COI beyond even puppy mill rejects. After that she just embraces the drama reblogging what everyone else says in the ensuing dogpile.
Speaking of people who shouldn’t be breeding or training service dogs, she now works with Alex, whose mutant golden retriever never learned to heel properly and whose high distractibility she brushed off as “tasks.”
Hi Chloe!!! You finally made it!
Another memorial for her dad. I guess she’s finally processing the trauma so good for her.
Kuzco turns four and they go to Disney with Chloe/Alice and Alex/Blossom.
Turning four means he’s past his expiration date and she needs a new puppy.
Yep.
The little teacup yorkie she claimed was a service dog dies of ancient.
She takes a break after this and gets very boring.
The one who had lupus also died.
She’s moved to Colorado where her sister also lived. Her sister has since moved to London.
She's gone back to Grand Cayman for a visit looking very much older than 22
Back in Colorado she's taking advantage of legal recreational weed.
At least a few months ago she still had a port and is getting ketamine again
And as of three days ago, she's in Tennessee being carried down a mountain by her much slimmer sister. Her sister's account has gone private since my first archive so I don't know if she's back in the states permanently or just visiting.
Join me next time when I finally tackle the elephant in the room that I've been avoiding for oh, four years.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2021
You've heard of CCA aka "professional arse wiper" but have you heard of... professional hall monitor?
That's horrific! Imagine if she had left him longer to go to Grand Cayman or something... he could've died of sepsis.
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A tree
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
You were all SO MEAN to autie that she had to stop doing the multiple personalities and go back to pretending to be one person and never speak of it again.
Because that's how dissociative disorders work the switching and presentation is optional and you can just choose to "mask" and not act like 20 people when it's socially convenient.
By the way the clinic letter was apparently genuine. The address in Wales was their temporary base during lockdown. It would appear that Autie was diagnosed over zoom call while things were significantly disrupted and that might account for the inconsistencies in the letter and perhaps the less thorough service than we might expect from such a highly rated clinic.
Inferring between the lines Autie may have got herself in hot water with her therapist by drawing a lot of negative public attention to their clinic.
Because that's how dissociative disorders work the switching and presentation is optional and you can just choose to "mask" and not act like 20 people when it's socially convenient.
By the way the clinic letter was apparently genuine. The address in Wales was their temporary base during lockdown. It would appear that Autie was diagnosed over zoom call while things were significantly disrupted and that might account for the inconsistencies in the letter and perhaps the less thorough service than we might expect from such a highly rated clinic.
Inferring between the lines Autie may have got herself in hot water with her therapist by drawing a lot of negative public attention to their clinic.
schlong COVID
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2023
Greetings from a newfag medfag! Spent every minute of free time for a while now reading the whole thread and man, that’s quite a ride. Much impressed.
Probably won’t introduce many new cows myself since I’m gen X and pretty much only know how to use Ham radio, but I think I’ll be able to contribute spergs pertaining to my areas of expertise i.e. psychiatry & addiction medicine.
So, that’s me. Let me know when I’m engaging in newfaggery.
Probably won’t introduce many new cows myself since I’m gen X and pretty much only know how to use Ham radio, but I think I’ll be able to contribute spergs pertaining to my areas of expertise i.e. psychiatry & addiction medicine.
So, that’s me. Let me know when I’m engaging in newfaggery.
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2022
Autie, such a mental little creature.
I was so looking forward to her having multiple dissociations during a 30 second video. Why must she deny us?
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2018
I want to get into Expanding Intelligence, and we will, but I think first we should discredit some of their detractors from Elisabeth’s post to remind us that there are no good and bad guys in this. Every person sucks and it’s foolish to believe one side is ever telling the truth because they’re all trying to take each other down. We already know the bottomless barrel of BPD bullshit that is Megan Stoff, that Alex Moine is a complete moron who is running her own service dog company and therefore has a financial stake in ruining their reputation, and that Sydney Going makes shit up to the point that she made actual dogfuckers look like the sane ones.
And that leaves us with the elephant in the room, Mel the fat butch dog trainer. We’ve seen her interacting with Sydney Going, Cassie Jones, Whitney Zayas, Alexx Petrilla, Rose Haley, and Phoebe Stone amongst others, sometimes friendly and sometimes extremely critical. She has a sports/service dog that has titled in like twenty different sports and regularly takes Best in Show for conformation. She never discusses her health and only a few photos, most of them on other people’s accounts, even let us know she has an older service dog that has retired young. She seems totally professional online and is thus not worth our time. This is only because she has wiped out her history several times as she reinvents. I caught one of her accounts just before she nuked it and it happened to be the one where she did most of her actual diagnosis- and toy-chasing. Come, see what Mel has tried to memoryhole!
Don't worry, she's not ready to leave the drama behind just yet! We still have a lot of full-fat cream from this heifer.
And that leaves us with the elephant in the room, Mel the fat butch dog trainer. We’ve seen her interacting with Sydney Going, Cassie Jones, Whitney Zayas, Alexx Petrilla, Rose Haley, and Phoebe Stone amongst others, sometimes friendly and sometimes extremely critical. She has a sports/service dog that has titled in like twenty different sports and regularly takes Best in Show for conformation. She never discusses her health and only a few photos, most of them on other people’s accounts, even let us know she has an older service dog that has retired young. She seems totally professional online and is thus not worth our time. This is only because she has wiped out her history several times as she reinvents. I caught one of her accounts just before she nuked it and it happened to be the one where she did most of her actual diagnosis- and toy-chasing. Come, see what Mel has tried to memoryhole!
Okay this is going to be a bit of “how the sausage is made” because I feel like this is not up to its full potential and that’s on me. When I do one of these timelines, I routinely check out who they are interacting with or other people in photos. If they seem interesting, I scrape their entire account and then I’ll read and write at my leisure. In the past, I used to skim them and do like a quick and dirty archive where I’d only clip the parts that seemed immediately interesting, like the cliffnotes version, then I’d go back and do a proper archive when I was ready to sit down and write. That’s how Mel ended up part of this. I found her interacting with Phoebe, who was the first person I documented for the original Florida series. I very quickly skimmed Mel’s account, took screenshots of things I thought were funny, and then filed her away. When I went to review her further to see if she was worth the amount of effort one of these takes, I found her kind of dull and way too vindictive to be worth it so I tossed her in the do not post pile. It wasn’t until a lot later that I connected her older, now-deleted accounts to her, found her facebook, and saw her causing drama everywhere she went that I took a closer look at what I had. Unfortunately, by that point she’d already gone scorched earth on her insta and soon after locked down her facebook. This is all to say, this archive sucks. There’s captions that I only cut a tiny piece from. The comments sections are gone and because she was one of the first I documented, I didn’t know who was going to end up being part of this so I probably missed a lot of funny shit just by not knowing who the commenters were yet. I’m kicking myself for not archiving videos that are now lost to time. But we can still make an entertaining timeline out of what I have from my amateurish past, which I think is truly a testament to how insane Melissa Lucas is no matter what her current internet persona says.
So the account I archived dates to 2017 but she had already had several before then which have been wiped out or renamed, @griffindogs, @sunshinek9s, and @servicedogteemo. Finding scraps of these means finding other Florida Women she interacted with. The fact that there's still this much of her past online should give you an idea of how involved she was in everything. Here's Expanding Intelligence owner Cat Gentile with Kuzco and Mel's two dogs, Gnar and Teemo plus two EI puppies.
March 1, 2017, from this pretty boring account onyx_chronicles (Onyx being one of the first dogs EI trained for someone else). Servicedogteemo is Mel’s old account and @servicedog_saxon, now @servicedogfresno, is Cat. Saxon’s the dog that Sydney said attacked hers but yanno, Sydney-sized grain of salt for anything she says.
This brief video from EI shows Mel in all her rotund glory with Teemo at her feet.
April 2017. The dalmatian on the far right is Juniper, the terrified, stubborn, trainwreck of a dog that Cassie Jones tried to claim was her lifeline, and next to her is Teemo. The other two are Saxon and Onyx.
This one was from FYE, the electronics chain. Gnar, Teemo, and Kuzco with Expanding Intelligence tagged again. Clearly mel was working with them.
At Universal with Whitney. check out that gunt!
Training with Whitney. Also forearm crutch for some reason, which will be relevant later.
Also Whitney's account is the only proof we have that Mel once wore tard earmuffs at theme parks, which are never seen in her current account. That's her in the front and the one with the weeb backpack is Whitney.
There’s almost no traces of this sunshinek9s account that I can connect to Mel except a giveaway featuring Gnar.
But even back then there’s drama. Tangled_with_flynn posts the giveaway and nobucksgiven responds that the account doesn’t exist, only to realize it’s Mel therefore she’s blocked. Elisabeth chimes in to laugh at this. At this point both Mel and Elisabeth are connected with EI through their dogs. i'm pretty sure these two other accounts don't even live in Florida and browsing their accounts they both seem just... bland? Not the kind of people who are picking fights all over the internet. Just a little hint that Mel might embrace the drama just a little bit.
Posted by Only Leash, who made the thing on Teemo’s neck, in January 2018.
A few days later, some Gnar fanart. This person just seemed to have been a follower who likes drawing dogs.
EI posts about how a command was inspired by something Mel taught Gnar (it's just speak commands at different volumes)
Gnar and Teemo in January 2018 at Universal, posted by the person who made the harnesses they’re wearing.
February 2018, at the mall with Whitney. Unfortunately that Oakley is not Jaquie's ex-dog.
A bunch of accounts repost this giveaway she did in 2018 but there's nothing too interesting. After this there’s no more Teemo on her account. Gnar pops up one or two more times but we’ll get there.
When I first archived the account in April 2020, it started with the announcement that she’s getting a golden puppy and almost everything mentioning that other dogs existed had been wiped. From here on out we are working from my original 2020 archive for most of this, my apologies. She went to a reputable breeder and checked their studbook and everything. So hey, at least it’s not another deformed freak from Eagle Ridge like Levi or an inbred nightmare from a puppy flipper like the EI dogs. She tags it with the keywords disability, servicedog, PTSD, hypoglycemia, and NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease). You know what can cause that last one? Being a sedentary fatass and having uncontrolled/undiagnosed t2 beetus. I don’t know why any of these (bar PTSD in some cases) requires having a service dog.
Her third post announces the puppy who she is calling Severus is going to motivate her to lose weight and get her mobility issues under control. Seems like she is aware the excess weight and her lifestyle are what’s fucking up her joints, liver, and pancreas. Cool. I still don't know why this requires a service dog or why a border collie and an aussie shepherd failed to be enough to motivate her to lose weight since like, they too need walkies, but whatever.
She has the puppy, he is now named Godric, and she’s planning on following a training protocol similar to a program dog and working with professionals. Wants to get involved in rally, obedience, and conformation. For a while it’s all puppy pics all day and trying to get various brands to sponsor her. Chewy interacts with her account a lot.
For no reason #sexualabusesurvivor is on a cute puppy pic, okay then.
French and German commands so that he won’t listen to other people giving him commands while working.
Taking it slow with training while he's a baby.
Now tagging Sensory processing disorder. Says she took the dog on a monorail but shockingly, she’s not talking Disney. It’s the monorail at the Tampa Airport. Journeyofaservicephoenix was Rose’s roommate Willow. Say, what’s ole Rose been up to these days?
She’s hanging out with Rose and Willow here.
Over on Rose’s timeline we see the other half of that – she gave or sold Gnar to Willow.
Here's some assorted pics and art of Rose's dog with Gnar.
Along with them working Gnar at various places including Disney where Rose almost admits her dog is insane, lest you think they're just having him be a housepet
Depression and sensory issue meltdowns from her own hair. I will never stop laughing at these adults talking about “meltdowns” as if they’re autistic children who haven’t learned any coping skills.
#viralvideos, tagging any company she can think of. She wants to be the next service dog queen of social media so bad.
Sadly, her dreams of having a service show dog end when Godric’s balls don’t drop.
Scores some kind of sponsorship from Chewy and starts reviewing products.
She's attending seminars and taking training courses and keeping training short and fun. Unfortunately she’s taking these classes with people who support the use of prong, choke chain, and e-collars to intimidate and punish dogs into behaving and she will beat her chest and defend these methods every time she’s questioned. I will try not to bleeding heart dogsperg too much. But lemme just say that a positive reinforcement only model is what most legitimate, old school SD orgs I'm aware of go with. At the risk of just totally going off the rails here, my main problem with these owner-trainers is that they're so desperate to make their specific dog into a service dog that they lose all objectivity to a sunk cost fallacy of sorts. A legitimate program will identify if a dog is just not going to work out and release it as a pet no matter how close it may be to being "done" which they can afford to do because 1) donors and 2) it's not their dog. As bonded as they might be to him, he was never going to stay with them anyway so there's not quite that emotional reaction to having him leave as a pet instead of a working dog, and choosing to wash a dog who isn't fit for work helps maintain your program reputation. The owner trainers want their dog to be the one, and the amateur programs trying to get off their feet only see how much time and money they've sunk into a puppy, so they're more likely to turn a dog into an absolute crackerjack trying to force a square peg in a round hole or to release a dog who is totally unfit for work and tell the owner he's fine. Just my two cents. I'm not a trainer or SD handler or anything, just a run of the mill dog person who has heard so many horror stories about the trend.
Despite just whining about not taking your puppy to Disney when he’s young, she’s planning on taking him to Universal. She ends up going to Lakeland instead, a city halfway between Tampa and Orlando and much less crowded than a theme park.
Here’s a post from Rose’s timeline.
And from the owner of the poodle pup Rose is forcing her obviously uncomfortable pit bull to interact with.
Hurty ankle syndrome. Perhaps you should lose some weight.
Mel is both engaged (to a human male!) and gainfully employed, which puts her head and shoulders above the rest. She’s good at her job, whatever it is, and gets promoted. She’s trying to balance her new workload and training the puppy with her alleged disabilities. Guess which one gets the back seat!
Wow she certainly has a lot of energy on her days off for someone who claims many debilitating conditions that require a service dog to mitigate!
Back to Rose’s timeline, it’s a DOUBLE crossover! First we have Gnar, but also R2D2 was one of the dogs that was raised on Liberty University’s campus by a friend of Rachel Denton. Rachel did the first days of puppy raising for him at her house then passed him off to a friend who was apparently supervised by her. The weird thing is Willow had to have known she was getting this dog – NHSD requires months of matching and new handler training before they release a dog to a handler. They don’t just go “you’re approved, come pick a dog.” IIRC it’s like a 10 week program of training sessions. So I’m very confused as to why she took Gnar in the tail end of this training but we’ll never know the real story. It will make the next part at least slightly more understandable because we now know that there are three dogs who do not really know each other living in a single apartment. Rose has just moved to Florida with Oliver and Willow has just taken Gnar from Mel and R2 from NHSD.
Here's a pic of them working Oliver and R2 together.
Spends a lot of money on dumb nerd shit.
Vagueposting about spooniverse drama.
Choke chain reeeeeeeeeeeee.
There’s R2D2 again.
Needs to teach her dog retrievals because her hands hurt and she can’t hold things often, she posts from her mobile phone on a mobile-only app. Mentions a glucose kit for her notiabetes.
Finally we get some cahntent. Mel’s weight gain was caused by her disabilities. (Translation: Mel ate herself to several obesity-related diseases because healthy eating is boring.) She has developed NAFLD and other things she does not want to mention. (Translation: Mel most likely has t2 diabetes and some hormonal/reproductive issues related to her obesity but doesn’t want to admit it). She is now pursuing an EDS diagnosis after her friends who have EDS said she might have it. (Translation: all Mels friends have trendy EDS diagnoses and she’s mad that doctors tell her her joints hurt because she’s a sedentary fatass.) People have told her to kill herself because of this. (Translation: the other munchies do not want yet another Large Marge becoming the face of their fragile skinny princess disease.) There may be new tools and doctors in Mel’s future. (translation: Mel is stating her intention to doctor shop so she can join the skinny girl spoonie club whether they like it or not). She’s literally rotting away! (translation: her lifestyle and diet make her feel all icky and that can’t possibly be her fault.)
On the same day, Rose posts that R2D2 has been returned to NHSD for attacking Oliver. Rose claims that the dog just attacked Oliver out of nowhere over a scrap of a toy Oliver showed interest in. Mel is in the comments saying she has Opinions about NHSD and she’ll let them know tonight.
Grooming table, which Phoebe later e-begged for after meeting with Mel. I guess this is where she got the idea.
She spends her night sending sob stories to people about how she’s dying and/or trying to crowdsource information she could use to get a “proper” diagnosis. This is a lot of waaaaaahhhh about how mean doctors keep telling her that her problem is she’s very obese, her joints and organs are suffering under the strain of her obesity, and she doesn’t want to hear how she’s dying of fat anymore. She’s not just a bratty 24 year old!
More spoonie drama, this one about how people she’s met online are not always the nicest people. Whoever it was, she’s blaming the not-tism for why she couldn’t judge characters online without that IRL interaction. That’s normal, Mel.
Dissociation and skin picking.
getting his joints evaluated, fine.
Ooh she got a new switch despite her hands that can barely hold a pen. And even more spoonie drama she doesn’t elaborate on. Can’t help but wonder if this is about when she has the falling out with Ei but we’ll never know.
“Eventually I’ll be a full time crutch user when on my feet longer than two hours.” How did you determine this lmao
Switching to part time so she can spend the rest of her time chasing diagnoses. She needs an MRI, an ultrasound on her paté, to see how bad her obstructive sleep apnea is, and to try and see if she can get a cool psych dx like real autism to milk. Going to a concert with my dog first!
Training her dog to support her at concerts.
Goes to Universal. We learn she once did jiu jitsu.
On an ordinary training video she sneaks #eds into the hashtags.
Her puppy is starting to title.
Lip biting interruption to prevent unspecified “episodes”
Hi Sydney! Hanging out with Rose and Willow again
Multiple times a week she’s out swimming, running, and playing to get her dog exercise. Good for her, all those obesity-related problems should be mended in no time! Oh she means the dog is doing all this while she stands around and observes.
It’s no one’s business who diagnosed me with your skinny princess disease!!!!
That lobsided gunt, jesus christ. Ethan Ralph eat your heart out.
She was president of the GSA and “mainly identified as a lesbian” in the past but is now dating a man after rediscovering her own identity. Hmmmmm why does this sound like a certain personality disorder that happens to be wildly overrepresented on this forum? Yeah pride always sucked but it extra sucks now because it’s all straight LARPers and pronoun people like Mel and they’re always screeching about inconsequential shit. Also everything is “humble” or “humbling” to this one.
Despite just whining that pride wasn’t rowdy enough and going out all over the fucking place for months, she now has the strength to go to Starbucks by herself and is acting like she never leaves the house or interacts with people irl.
What a saint she is.
I don’t have to explain my obvious discrepancies to you!
There’s been rumors I’m injecting my dog with hormones. It was only that one time!!!
The first of many videos I wish I had saved. My 2020 notes from this says “it jiggles.”
big changes, not everyone can like her, she’s such a saint for even trying to be such a people pleaser.
So that last post: Rose and Willow returned Gnar for behavior issues. “childish drama” indeed. So this is the second dog that Willow returned in just a few weeks. Rose never mentioned what happened to Gnar on her profile, or if she did it was memoryholed. But we know that the true-ish story of why Oliver was pulled from service was he became aggressive after another dog attacked him at the park. I have a feeling Oliver was always kind of a shitstarter based on her many posts where some other dog ALMOST attacked hers and this was the first time he was around other dogs in an enclosed space (their apartment) all the time. It just doesn’t make sense that one dog that was definitely a program dog and another that was well-trained if by an amateur both just snapped and Oliver dindu nuffin.
But I'm not holding Oliver entirely at fault. I think he was the one that snapped, absolutely, but I think it was because Gnar was taught this kind of... hug trick? That EI is very fond of, where he wraps his front arms around your leg or whatever on command. Rose and Willow, being total retards who only care about social media attention, thought this was just the cutest darn thing and therefore encouraged him to do it to Oliver over and over again despite that this was after Oliver got in the fight that made him not like dogs being all over him. Anyway, Point is, given the information currently available to me, I don't believe Gnar did anything but what these morons told him to do which led to Oliver fighting him.
Like. God. I have had pit bulls and love them but I would be absolutely terrified if my pit was this aggressive in a game of tuggy war. it's obvious Gnar is the type to drop it and walk away while Oliver is the type to keep going at it. Anyway moving on.
Anxiety, depression, meltdowns and anger fits after her friends turned out to be meanies. Mm. Soundslikeborderline. Still hoping to go part time so Diagnosis Quest can begin in earnest but her job isn’t accommodating!
Only 50 lbs? You sure bout that? My note for these videos from 2020 reads “flails wildly and fatly.” Also Service Dog Drills is Haley Wager, the fat, functionally retarded, too-borderline-to-function, dog-abusing ddlg fetishist.
Service dogs get attention. None of you would have one if they didn’t. What medical emergency might you have that someone making kissy sounds the dog won’t even react to would hinder?
Sam smith concert with her accessory.
I’d still be doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but I just don’t have time because of my dog. You know the “dis” part of ‘disability” implies you do have limitations because of your condition. The disparity between “lifeline dog” and “I’d be wrestling if I wasn’t doing this” is hilarious to me.
more lip biting interruption because apparently you need a dog to let you know that. EI has a bunch of videos of themselves training this so, yanno. Munchie see, munchie do.
I have no personality outside my dog! Getting a bunch of specialist appointments lined up, but her job keeps refusing to let her go to part time.
A roller coaster of new doctors, new diagnosis, and new treatments! Not really looking forward to it![:\](/styles/custom/emotes/svg/chris-confused.svg "Confused :\")
Baby’s first disney trip.
#nonbinary
studying some weird religion who cares, the dog can go to the doctors with her now.
The dog is not just a whiny puppy who’s bored. He was totally alerting to something, she feels just TERRIBLE for zapping him with the shock collar this one time and only this one time. Did you know for every clip she shows of her flailing like a retard she has to sit and catch her breath for 15-20 minutes? Must be asthma and not her enormous fat body crushing her heart and lungs.
Med bag retrieval now that she’s got her inhaler back. And “scenting it” made me think she’s rubbing it in all the unmentionable parts of her body and I want to go home now.
Hahahahaha all her doctors keep telling her she’s just super fucking fat.
Finalizing a new diagnosis. I wonder what it could be!
So it wasn’t even asthma, it was another respiratory infection but hmmm #zebrastrong #edswarrior what could she be hinting at
zooming in on a diagnosis she’s been chasing for six years. She’s lost three jobs, so many friends, and family members in the pursuit of this one diagnosis everyone knows she doesn’t have. She’s been very private about her health and she’s going to keep it that way.
I think the black thing curled up next to Godric’s ass is Gnar, meaning he’s still around for now.
Yep. She got diagnosed with hEDS and fibromyalgia. Almost 7 years to get this diagnosis. So this whole diagnosis quest was brought on by the fact that the human male fiance impregnated her. Her many fat-related conditions likely contributed to why she miscarried. Rather than process the trauma of being so fat her baby yeeted itself, she decided to find reasons it was not her fault. The more she looked at all the other spoonies with their EDS diagnoses the more jealous she got until she found a doctor that would tell her what she unfortunately wanted to hear. That’s my headcannon anyway.
New medication for fibro, new orthotics and potential AFOs (AFO = ankle-foot orthotic, Mel) as well as not being so fucking fat. Suddenly complaining about a crazy number of dislocations when she’s only ever mentioned hurty joints.
Looks like the rest of the spoonies were not thrilled with this diagnosis and kept pointing out the many more plausible explanations for her symptoms including having about 200 extra pounds of weight on her joints.
For someone who has such bad anxiety she can’t be in public without a dog she sure has no problem with confronting people she feels have wronged her.
Tagging linkin park for sympathy, how pathetic.
Even more titles.
She is humbled. How does she get through work plus doctors plus her grueling training and showing schedule with all her disabilities? Suck it up, buttercup! She won’t let these disabilities stop her from ableing!
Excited for new custom orthotics and those crutches she already said she wanted but that pesky weight loss requirement is cramping her style. So much pain. Can’t even function.
Literally the next day: we went for a hike! Proof of life from Gnar at least, although it’s the last we see of him and he is completely memoryholed after this. Farewell, gentle border collie.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! She will no longer participate in service dog drama.
So the account I archived dates to 2017 but she had already had several before then which have been wiped out or renamed, @griffindogs, @sunshinek9s, and @servicedogteemo. Finding scraps of these means finding other Florida Women she interacted with. The fact that there's still this much of her past online should give you an idea of how involved she was in everything. Here's Expanding Intelligence owner Cat Gentile with Kuzco and Mel's two dogs, Gnar and Teemo plus two EI puppies.
March 1, 2017, from this pretty boring account onyx_chronicles (Onyx being one of the first dogs EI trained for someone else). Servicedogteemo is Mel’s old account and @servicedog_saxon, now @servicedogfresno, is Cat. Saxon’s the dog that Sydney said attacked hers but yanno, Sydney-sized grain of salt for anything she says.
This brief video from EI shows Mel in all her rotund glory with Teemo at her feet.
April 2017. The dalmatian on the far right is Juniper, the terrified, stubborn, trainwreck of a dog that Cassie Jones tried to claim was her lifeline, and next to her is Teemo. The other two are Saxon and Onyx.
This one was from FYE, the electronics chain. Gnar, Teemo, and Kuzco with Expanding Intelligence tagged again. Clearly mel was working with them.
At Universal with Whitney. check out that gunt!
Training with Whitney. Also forearm crutch for some reason, which will be relevant later.
Also Whitney's account is the only proof we have that Mel once wore tard earmuffs at theme parks, which are never seen in her current account. That's her in the front and the one with the weeb backpack is Whitney.
There’s almost no traces of this sunshinek9s account that I can connect to Mel except a giveaway featuring Gnar.
But even back then there’s drama. Tangled_with_flynn posts the giveaway and nobucksgiven responds that the account doesn’t exist, only to realize it’s Mel therefore she’s blocked. Elisabeth chimes in to laugh at this. At this point both Mel and Elisabeth are connected with EI through their dogs. i'm pretty sure these two other accounts don't even live in Florida and browsing their accounts they both seem just... bland? Not the kind of people who are picking fights all over the internet. Just a little hint that Mel might embrace the drama just a little bit.
Posted by Only Leash, who made the thing on Teemo’s neck, in January 2018.
A few days later, some Gnar fanart. This person just seemed to have been a follower who likes drawing dogs.
EI posts about how a command was inspired by something Mel taught Gnar (it's just speak commands at different volumes)
Gnar and Teemo in January 2018 at Universal, posted by the person who made the harnesses they’re wearing.
February 2018, at the mall with Whitney. Unfortunately that Oakley is not Jaquie's ex-dog.
A bunch of accounts repost this giveaway she did in 2018 but there's nothing too interesting. After this there’s no more Teemo on her account. Gnar pops up one or two more times but we’ll get there.
When I first archived the account in April 2020, it started with the announcement that she’s getting a golden puppy and almost everything mentioning that other dogs existed had been wiped. From here on out we are working from my original 2020 archive for most of this, my apologies. She went to a reputable breeder and checked their studbook and everything. So hey, at least it’s not another deformed freak from Eagle Ridge like Levi or an inbred nightmare from a puppy flipper like the EI dogs. She tags it with the keywords disability, servicedog, PTSD, hypoglycemia, and NAFLD (non-alcoholic fatty liver disease). You know what can cause that last one? Being a sedentary fatass and having uncontrolled/undiagnosed t2 beetus. I don’t know why any of these (bar PTSD in some cases) requires having a service dog.
Her third post announces the puppy who she is calling Severus is going to motivate her to lose weight and get her mobility issues under control. Seems like she is aware the excess weight and her lifestyle are what’s fucking up her joints, liver, and pancreas. Cool. I still don't know why this requires a service dog or why a border collie and an aussie shepherd failed to be enough to motivate her to lose weight since like, they too need walkies, but whatever.
She has the puppy, he is now named Godric, and she’s planning on following a training protocol similar to a program dog and working with professionals. Wants to get involved in rally, obedience, and conformation. For a while it’s all puppy pics all day and trying to get various brands to sponsor her. Chewy interacts with her account a lot.
For no reason #sexualabusesurvivor is on a cute puppy pic, okay then.
French and German commands so that he won’t listen to other people giving him commands while working.
Taking it slow with training while he's a baby.
Now tagging Sensory processing disorder. Says she took the dog on a monorail but shockingly, she’s not talking Disney. It’s the monorail at the Tampa Airport. Journeyofaservicephoenix was Rose’s roommate Willow. Say, what’s ole Rose been up to these days?
TL;dr: miserable cunt from Alabama with a service pit bull for psych tasks. Eventually moves to Florida when many doctors in her area tell her she doesn’t have the diseases she wants to claim. As soon as she’s in the sunshine state she suddenly gets the diagnoses and toys she wants. Can’t ever take responsibility, always thinks shes right and will absolutely chimp if anyone suggests otherwise. Eventually retired her perfect dog and got a poodle instead. When last we left rose she was eating herself out of the wheelchair that was already too tight on her. Still taking the same dumb pic with her dog on her lap over and over.
How many corrective devices does she need for ONE dog? Someone asks her why the prong is so low and of course it's not her fault. It just somehow magically slipped under his flat collar because of his long skinny neck, yet remains connected to the lead.
This is a new puppy she found, originally Bean but renamed Zsasz after she decides to keep her.
lookin like someone's fat spinster aunt.
Her port got infected and had to be pulled
It turned into sepsis and an AKI.
Thankfully she managed to remain so healthy and robust.
She’s training the new puppy but it looks like it’s all in pet friendly places. (She says, knowing this cannot be)
Man, the fatter she gets the funnier she looks in comparison to that spindly fuck.
She’s now riding the scooty puff. Deathfat transformation nearly complete.
I don't remember if she was always claiming Tism but here we are.
And now she has a powerchair and it’s a very expensive permobil. Have none of these Disney-obsessed adults seen WALL-E?
And apparently Willow has also gotten a midwheel drive permobil power chair since these two always travel in a pod.
Other than that the only thing of interest is she is apparently going by Sparrow or Ro now instead of Rose because lol borderline. Rose already wasn't her real name but at least it's her middle name. And because none of these girls can just have a pet and every animal near them must be part of their LARP, Zsasz the abandoned pit bull mix has been promoted to “service dog prospect.” And yes she’s named after Victor Zsasz, the sadomasochistic Batman villain who carves a new cut on his body for every person he murders. Or as she describes him, “saracatic and snarky.”
How many corrective devices does she need for ONE dog? Someone asks her why the prong is so low and of course it's not her fault. It just somehow magically slipped under his flat collar because of his long skinny neck, yet remains connected to the lead.
This is a new puppy she found, originally Bean but renamed Zsasz after she decides to keep her.
lookin like someone's fat spinster aunt.
Her port got infected and had to be pulled
It turned into sepsis and an AKI.
Thankfully she managed to remain so healthy and robust.
She’s training the new puppy but it looks like it’s all in pet friendly places. (She says, knowing this cannot be)
Man, the fatter she gets the funnier she looks in comparison to that spindly fuck.
She’s now riding the scooty puff. Deathfat transformation nearly complete.
I don't remember if she was always claiming Tism but here we are.
And now she has a powerchair and it’s a very expensive permobil. Have none of these Disney-obsessed adults seen WALL-E?
And apparently Willow has also gotten a midwheel drive permobil power chair since these two always travel in a pod.
Other than that the only thing of interest is she is apparently going by Sparrow or Ro now instead of Rose because lol borderline. Rose already wasn't her real name but at least it's her middle name. And because none of these girls can just have a pet and every animal near them must be part of their LARP, Zsasz the abandoned pit bull mix has been promoted to “service dog prospect.” And yes she’s named after Victor Zsasz, the sadomasochistic Batman villain who carves a new cut on his body for every person he murders. Or as she describes him, “saracatic and snarky.”
She’s hanging out with Rose and Willow here.
Over on Rose’s timeline we see the other half of that – she gave or sold Gnar to Willow.
Here's some assorted pics and art of Rose's dog with Gnar.
Along with them working Gnar at various places including Disney where Rose almost admits her dog is insane, lest you think they're just having him be a housepet
Depression and sensory issue meltdowns from her own hair. I will never stop laughing at these adults talking about “meltdowns” as if they’re autistic children who haven’t learned any coping skills.
#viralvideos, tagging any company she can think of. She wants to be the next service dog queen of social media so bad.
Sadly, her dreams of having a service show dog end when Godric’s balls don’t drop.
Scores some kind of sponsorship from Chewy and starts reviewing products.
She's attending seminars and taking training courses and keeping training short and fun. Unfortunately she’s taking these classes with people who support the use of prong, choke chain, and e-collars to intimidate and punish dogs into behaving and she will beat her chest and defend these methods every time she’s questioned. I will try not to bleeding heart dogsperg too much. But lemme just say that a positive reinforcement only model is what most legitimate, old school SD orgs I'm aware of go with. At the risk of just totally going off the rails here, my main problem with these owner-trainers is that they're so desperate to make their specific dog into a service dog that they lose all objectivity to a sunk cost fallacy of sorts. A legitimate program will identify if a dog is just not going to work out and release it as a pet no matter how close it may be to being "done" which they can afford to do because 1) donors and 2) it's not their dog. As bonded as they might be to him, he was never going to stay with them anyway so there's not quite that emotional reaction to having him leave as a pet instead of a working dog, and choosing to wash a dog who isn't fit for work helps maintain your program reputation. The owner trainers want their dog to be the one, and the amateur programs trying to get off their feet only see how much time and money they've sunk into a puppy, so they're more likely to turn a dog into an absolute crackerjack trying to force a square peg in a round hole or to release a dog who is totally unfit for work and tell the owner he's fine. Just my two cents. I'm not a trainer or SD handler or anything, just a run of the mill dog person who has heard so many horror stories about the trend.
Despite just whining about not taking your puppy to Disney when he’s young, she’s planning on taking him to Universal. She ends up going to Lakeland instead, a city halfway between Tampa and Orlando and much less crowded than a theme park.
Here’s a post from Rose’s timeline.
And from the owner of the poodle pup Rose is forcing her obviously uncomfortable pit bull to interact with.
Hurty ankle syndrome. Perhaps you should lose some weight.
Mel is both engaged (to a human male!) and gainfully employed, which puts her head and shoulders above the rest. She’s good at her job, whatever it is, and gets promoted. She’s trying to balance her new workload and training the puppy with her alleged disabilities. Guess which one gets the back seat!
Wow she certainly has a lot of energy on her days off for someone who claims many debilitating conditions that require a service dog to mitigate!
Back to Rose’s timeline, it’s a DOUBLE crossover! First we have Gnar, but also R2D2 was one of the dogs that was raised on Liberty University’s campus by a friend of Rachel Denton. Rachel did the first days of puppy raising for him at her house then passed him off to a friend who was apparently supervised by her. The weird thing is Willow had to have known she was getting this dog – NHSD requires months of matching and new handler training before they release a dog to a handler. They don’t just go “you’re approved, come pick a dog.” IIRC it’s like a 10 week program of training sessions. So I’m very confused as to why she took Gnar in the tail end of this training but we’ll never know the real story. It will make the next part at least slightly more understandable because we now know that there are three dogs who do not really know each other living in a single apartment. Rose has just moved to Florida with Oliver and Willow has just taken Gnar from Mel and R2 from NHSD.
Here's a pic of them working Oliver and R2 together.
Spends a lot of money on dumb nerd shit.
Vagueposting about spooniverse drama.
Choke chain reeeeeeeeeeeee.
There’s R2D2 again.
Needs to teach her dog retrievals because her hands hurt and she can’t hold things often, she posts from her mobile phone on a mobile-only app. Mentions a glucose kit for her notiabetes.
Finally we get some cahntent. Mel’s weight gain was caused by her disabilities. (Translation: Mel ate herself to several obesity-related diseases because healthy eating is boring.) She has developed NAFLD and other things she does not want to mention. (Translation: Mel most likely has t2 diabetes and some hormonal/reproductive issues related to her obesity but doesn’t want to admit it). She is now pursuing an EDS diagnosis after her friends who have EDS said she might have it. (Translation: all Mels friends have trendy EDS diagnoses and she’s mad that doctors tell her her joints hurt because she’s a sedentary fatass.) People have told her to kill herself because of this. (Translation: the other munchies do not want yet another Large Marge becoming the face of their fragile skinny princess disease.) There may be new tools and doctors in Mel’s future. (translation: Mel is stating her intention to doctor shop so she can join the skinny girl spoonie club whether they like it or not). She’s literally rotting away! (translation: her lifestyle and diet make her feel all icky and that can’t possibly be her fault.)
On the same day, Rose posts that R2D2 has been returned to NHSD for attacking Oliver. Rose claims that the dog just attacked Oliver out of nowhere over a scrap of a toy Oliver showed interest in. Mel is in the comments saying she has Opinions about NHSD and she’ll let them know tonight.
Grooming table, which Phoebe later e-begged for after meeting with Mel. I guess this is where she got the idea.
She spends her night sending sob stories to people about how she’s dying and/or trying to crowdsource information she could use to get a “proper” diagnosis. This is a lot of waaaaaahhhh about how mean doctors keep telling her that her problem is she’s very obese, her joints and organs are suffering under the strain of her obesity, and she doesn’t want to hear how she’s dying of fat anymore. She’s not just a bratty 24 year old!
More spoonie drama, this one about how people she’s met online are not always the nicest people. Whoever it was, she’s blaming the not-tism for why she couldn’t judge characters online without that IRL interaction. That’s normal, Mel.
Dissociation and skin picking.
getting his joints evaluated, fine.
Ooh she got a new switch despite her hands that can barely hold a pen. And even more spoonie drama she doesn’t elaborate on. Can’t help but wonder if this is about when she has the falling out with Ei but we’ll never know.
“Eventually I’ll be a full time crutch user when on my feet longer than two hours.” How did you determine this lmao
Switching to part time so she can spend the rest of her time chasing diagnoses. She needs an MRI, an ultrasound on her paté, to see how bad her obstructive sleep apnea is, and to try and see if she can get a cool psych dx like real autism to milk. Going to a concert with my dog first!
Training her dog to support her at concerts.
Goes to Universal. We learn she once did jiu jitsu.
On an ordinary training video she sneaks #eds into the hashtags.
Her puppy is starting to title.
Lip biting interruption to prevent unspecified “episodes”
Hi Sydney! Hanging out with Rose and Willow again
Multiple times a week she’s out swimming, running, and playing to get her dog exercise. Good for her, all those obesity-related problems should be mended in no time! Oh she means the dog is doing all this while she stands around and observes.
It’s no one’s business who diagnosed me with your skinny princess disease!!!!
That lobsided gunt, jesus christ. Ethan Ralph eat your heart out.
She was president of the GSA and “mainly identified as a lesbian” in the past but is now dating a man after rediscovering her own identity. Hmmmmm why does this sound like a certain personality disorder that happens to be wildly overrepresented on this forum? Yeah pride always sucked but it extra sucks now because it’s all straight LARPers and pronoun people like Mel and they’re always screeching about inconsequential shit. Also everything is “humble” or “humbling” to this one.
Despite just whining that pride wasn’t rowdy enough and going out all over the fucking place for months, she now has the strength to go to Starbucks by herself and is acting like she never leaves the house or interacts with people irl.
What a saint she is.
I don’t have to explain my obvious discrepancies to you!
There’s been rumors I’m injecting my dog with hormones. It was only that one time!!!
The first of many videos I wish I had saved. My 2020 notes from this says “it jiggles.”
big changes, not everyone can like her, she’s such a saint for even trying to be such a people pleaser.
So that last post: Rose and Willow returned Gnar for behavior issues. “childish drama” indeed. So this is the second dog that Willow returned in just a few weeks. Rose never mentioned what happened to Gnar on her profile, or if she did it was memoryholed. But we know that the true-ish story of why Oliver was pulled from service was he became aggressive after another dog attacked him at the park. I have a feeling Oliver was always kind of a shitstarter based on her many posts where some other dog ALMOST attacked hers and this was the first time he was around other dogs in an enclosed space (their apartment) all the time. It just doesn’t make sense that one dog that was definitely a program dog and another that was well-trained if by an amateur both just snapped and Oliver dindu nuffin.
But I'm not holding Oliver entirely at fault. I think he was the one that snapped, absolutely, but I think it was because Gnar was taught this kind of... hug trick? That EI is very fond of, where he wraps his front arms around your leg or whatever on command. Rose and Willow, being total retards who only care about social media attention, thought this was just the cutest darn thing and therefore encouraged him to do it to Oliver over and over again despite that this was after Oliver got in the fight that made him not like dogs being all over him. Anyway, Point is, given the information currently available to me, I don't believe Gnar did anything but what these morons told him to do which led to Oliver fighting him.
Like. God. I have had pit bulls and love them but I would be absolutely terrified if my pit was this aggressive in a game of tuggy war. it's obvious Gnar is the type to drop it and walk away while Oliver is the type to keep going at it. Anyway moving on.
Anxiety, depression, meltdowns and anger fits after her friends turned out to be meanies. Mm. Soundslikeborderline. Still hoping to go part time so Diagnosis Quest can begin in earnest but her job isn’t accommodating!
Only 50 lbs? You sure bout that? My note for these videos from 2020 reads “flails wildly and fatly.” Also Service Dog Drills is Haley Wager, the fat, functionally retarded, too-borderline-to-function, dog-abusing ddlg fetishist.
Service dogs get attention. None of you would have one if they didn’t. What medical emergency might you have that someone making kissy sounds the dog won’t even react to would hinder?
Sam smith concert with her accessory.
I’d still be doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but I just don’t have time because of my dog. You know the “dis” part of ‘disability” implies you do have limitations because of your condition. The disparity between “lifeline dog” and “I’d be wrestling if I wasn’t doing this” is hilarious to me.
more lip biting interruption because apparently you need a dog to let you know that. EI has a bunch of videos of themselves training this so, yanno. Munchie see, munchie do.
I have no personality outside my dog! Getting a bunch of specialist appointments lined up, but her job keeps refusing to let her go to part time.
A roller coaster of new doctors, new diagnosis, and new treatments! Not really looking forward to it
Baby’s first disney trip.
#nonbinary
studying some weird religion who cares, the dog can go to the doctors with her now.
The dog is not just a whiny puppy who’s bored. He was totally alerting to something, she feels just TERRIBLE for zapping him with the shock collar this one time and only this one time. Did you know for every clip she shows of her flailing like a retard she has to sit and catch her breath for 15-20 minutes? Must be asthma and not her enormous fat body crushing her heart and lungs.
Med bag retrieval now that she’s got her inhaler back. And “scenting it” made me think she’s rubbing it in all the unmentionable parts of her body and I want to go home now.
Hahahahaha all her doctors keep telling her she’s just super fucking fat.
Finalizing a new diagnosis. I wonder what it could be!
So it wasn’t even asthma, it was another respiratory infection but hmmm #zebrastrong #edswarrior what could she be hinting at
zooming in on a diagnosis she’s been chasing for six years. She’s lost three jobs, so many friends, and family members in the pursuit of this one diagnosis everyone knows she doesn’t have. She’s been very private about her health and she’s going to keep it that way.
I think the black thing curled up next to Godric’s ass is Gnar, meaning he’s still around for now.
Yep. She got diagnosed with hEDS and fibromyalgia. Almost 7 years to get this diagnosis. So this whole diagnosis quest was brought on by the fact that the human male fiance impregnated her. Her many fat-related conditions likely contributed to why she miscarried. Rather than process the trauma of being so fat her baby yeeted itself, she decided to find reasons it was not her fault. The more she looked at all the other spoonies with their EDS diagnoses the more jealous she got until she found a doctor that would tell her what she unfortunately wanted to hear. That’s my headcannon anyway.
New medication for fibro, new orthotics and potential AFOs (AFO = ankle-foot orthotic, Mel) as well as not being so fucking fat. Suddenly complaining about a crazy number of dislocations when she’s only ever mentioned hurty joints.
Looks like the rest of the spoonies were not thrilled with this diagnosis and kept pointing out the many more plausible explanations for her symptoms including having about 200 extra pounds of weight on her joints.
For someone who has such bad anxiety she can’t be in public without a dog she sure has no problem with confronting people she feels have wronged her.
Tagging linkin park for sympathy, how pathetic.
Even more titles.
She is humbled. How does she get through work plus doctors plus her grueling training and showing schedule with all her disabilities? Suck it up, buttercup! She won’t let these disabilities stop her from ableing!
Excited for new custom orthotics and those crutches she already said she wanted but that pesky weight loss requirement is cramping her style. So much pain. Can’t even function.
Literally the next day: we went for a hike! Proof of life from Gnar at least, although it’s the last we see of him and he is completely memoryholed after this. Farewell, gentle border collie.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! She will no longer participate in service dog drama.
Don't worry, she's not ready to leave the drama behind just yet! We still have a lot of full-fat cream from this heifer.
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- Feb 12, 2019
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- Aug 12, 2022
Missed you @Kate Farms Shill, quality content as always. I hope you’re writing a book and you let us know when it comes out. 
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
Chelsea Lawrence went the fake your own death route.