Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

[RookTheFanatic]

I think I’d prefer to die by Death Cap than radiation.

Both radiation poisoning and death cap poisoning have the "walking ghost" phase- radiation because it nukes the actual bonds in your proteins, mushrooms because of amatoxin, which binds to an enzyme used to read DNA.

The thing is, because generally you eat fucked up mushrooms (or are fed them), but you get blasted by radiation, people with severe radiation burns have their skin slew off and essentially disintegrate into one giant open sore. And their eyelids. And like you said, the intestines slough off into one mess of mucous and blood and leaky septic shock.

Oh. And their veins and skin sloughing off means you can't get an IV in. So no painkillers. So, absolutely, in this hypothetical scenario, take the fucking mushroom.

 

[Spunt]

There was a Japanese nuclear technician called Hisachi Ouchi (yes, really, Ouchi) who died possibly the most painful death in all of human history after receiving 17 Sieverts of radiation in an accident at the Tokaimura nuclear lab where a mixture went critical due to, well, nobody following even the most basic safety procedures. He rather foolishly told the doctors to keep him alive while still able to speak, and then his family insisted his word was his bond, so medics kept him alive for 83 days (resuscitating him several times including 2 cardiac arrests) as he slowly melted into a pile of goo, unable to tell them that maybe he had changed his mind.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

The thing is, because generally you eat fucked up mushrooms (or are fed them), but you get blasted by radiation, people with severe radiation burns have their skin slew off and essentially disintegrate into one giant open sore. And their eyelids. And like you said, the intestines slough off into one mess of mucous and blood and leaky septic shock

Additionally, because your bone marrow is affected (the place where you make all your blood cells), you now no longer have platelets which you need to help your blood clot and for wound healing. So unfortunately you just bleed and bleed.

By the way if you want another nightmare way of dying, an overdose of the gout medication cholchicine is a good one.
You don't even need to overdose by a lot, and it could be accidental because you had a gout flare and took a bit too much for a bit too long.

Basically it binds to muscle cells and stops them working (amongst other things). Problem is that it's not just your skeletal muscles (resulting in paralysis), but your smooth muscle in your bowels and arteries, and your cardiac muscle too.

You can't filter it off via dialysis, you just have to sit and wait (while you're awake in a completely paralysed body, mechanically ventilated, on bucketloads of inotropes to keep your blood pressure normal enough to support your organs, with liquid shit pouring out of you with no control).
Will you get better? Maybe! All you can do is wait for a few weeks and hope that your muscle cells can recover. If they don't? Well, let's hope you live in a place where it's acceptable to dose you up on opioids and remove your trache.

 

[RookTheFanatic]

Munchies lurking this thread, take note! Stick this on your pinterest boards.

 

[SaltyButter]

I dont understand why the munchies come here when they are clearly aware they should refrain from commenting. What are they gaining? Just attention?? Thats so fucking pathetic I almost feel sorry for them until I remember all the resources they take from others, all the people around them they manipulate and harm. And my sympathy disappears.

 

[Griffpants]

I think it's a challenge for them. It's easy to convince Facebook groups and subreddits that you're the sickiest sick who ever sicked. The KF munchie thread is the boss level of malingering.

I also think munchies REALLY hate other munchies, because they remind them of how completely full of shit they are.

 

[Lolzalolol2324]

Attention, but also desperate need for validation, and enough narcissism to believe they are different and special from all the other munchies who get laughed at here and will convince us big, mean Kiwis that their special conditions are real.

Seeing the various munchies who can’t help but out themselves in this thread really shows how little insight and self awareness they have, which I think is the narcissism at play.

Also they hate being told “don’t do this” and are immature enough to think the rules shouldn’t apply to them, probably. So, “no power leveling” sounds like a challenge, even though there’s abundant evidence in this thread why it’s a rule.

 

[fitty tucker]

I think it's a challenge for them. It's easy to convince Facebook groups and subreddits that you're the sickiest sick who ever sicked. The KF munchie thread is the boss level of malingering.

I also think munchies REALLY hate other munchies, because they remind them of how completely full of shit they are.

I personally think the thread policy should be to leave all the excessive TRUE N HONEST SICK PERSON powerleveling here. Maybe threadban them for a week so they can see us make fun of them and can't reply lol. Not only is it hilarious, it makes it easier to dox them.

The recent post about how they "got the super srs wettie spaghetti EDS" was a beautiful display of spitting in the face of opsec. I'm still sad a janny deleted it. But I get it, if they leave it up then even more munchies will feel the need to try to turn this thread into a hugbox/pissing contest. But screenshots are forever.

 

[Oracular Slug]

I have no malice towards you, but I really don't like how you've worded that.
I can imagine some users in here being chronically ill individuals, but I honestly don't think it's most of us. This post just kind of makes it sound like we're reddit with less power leveling.
There are so many reasons to dislike munchies, that I just really dont like this type-cast:
1. Several munchies where exposed posting here, so posting here is no proof of not being a munchie (and a lot of them also technically have "proof")
2. There are several medical professionals, who are sick of the bullshit
3. People, who take care of disabled people/family members
4. People, who fell for a munchies scam (monetarily, or financially)
5. People, who got sucked into the social media brainrot, but saw the light

You didn't say it's most of us, but I still think it's important to not sell ourselves as the true and honest ill people, which this kind of implied.

Yeah, sorry, I was trying to politely tell someone who is likely actually retarded that he's not special, didn't mean anything more than that.

Edited because I still haven't learned to proofread.

 

[Not_a_Doctor]

Well, now I have some new fuel for my horrible death nightmares - thanks!

Agree with @Lolzalolol2324 and @Griffpants that they come seeking attention, validation, and maybe to see what we say about others like them. They’re all just children who never grew up - they don’t have any way of relating to others outside of being narcissistic energy vampires who trauma dump their ouchies on the world. They’re haven’t developed coping strategies or multiple aspects of their personality. They’re all cookie-cutter crybabies.

I can’t remember who said it earlier in the thread but life is pretty shitty some times / a lot of the time for most people. I’m assuming all of us here have at least one thing that makes life tough, whether that’s a health condition of our own or of a family member, a job that we don’t always like or that doesn’t pay enough, kids that we worry about, a living situation that is tough to deal with etc etc...but we have other things going on that we like or that bring us comfort and joy and contentment. Munchies can’t accept that life sucks sometimes for everyone, they can’t cope and they have to make it all about them. They truly believe they are suffering the most and they deserve love and attention and hand-outs because of it. That’s my arm chair psychology anyway.

 

[grimacefetishist]

I dont understand why the munchies come here when they are clearly aware they should refrain from commenting. What are they gaining? Just attention?? Thats so fucking pathetic I almost feel sorry for them until I remember all the resources they take from others, all the people around them they manipulate and harm. And my sympathy disappears.

Kiwis help me, I have the worst medical problem ever. I can't stop shitposting on kiwifarms

 

[OrSoHelpMe]

Have you tried sticking Immodium up your ass and into your router?

 

[just lurking]

Kiwis help me, I have the worst medical problem ever. I can't stop shitposting on kiwifarms

That's just called being retarded. No cure

 

[Spunt]

Kiwis help me, I have the worst medical problem ever. I can't stop shitposting on kiwifarms

Guys I have digital Tourettes, it's a terNIGGERible affliction, I caNIGGERn't seem to help theNIGGERse outbursts, they are entireNIGGERly uncontrolled, please donaNIGGERte to my gNIGGERofundme.

 

[It's Never Leprosy]

Welp, I was gonna do a write up of our Tilly's new book but fucking christ it is absolutely insufferable. I can't even be snarky about it and try to entertain y'all... it's just bad. No wonder nobody would review it unless pay to play.

I am not a medfag, but you can drive a mack truck through the holes in her story. None of it makes sense from a pathological standpoint. And she doesn't try to remedy that at all. Though I will speculate Herr Doktor is absolutely some kind of pervert getting off on it all, because how else do you tolerate this shit over and over again day in and day out from the Tillys of the world.

 

[Dharma bump]

I'll offer this review by fellow munchie and darling of LCF, Enara.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

I'll offer this review by fellow munchie and darling of LCF, Enara.
View attachment 7637741

"I devoured this in a day" I think that speaks for itself about the quality of the book.

 

[InternetDramaFillsTheVoid]

There was a Japanese nuclear technician called Hisachi Ouchi (yes, really, Ouchi) who died possibly the most painful death in all of human history after receiving 17 Sieverts of radiation in an accident at the Tokaimura nuclear lab where a mixture went critical due to, well, nobody following even the most basic safety procedures. He rather foolishly told the doctors to keep him alive while still able to speak, and then his family insisted his word was his bond, so medics kept him alive for 83 days (resuscitating him several times including 2 cardiac arrests) as he slowly melted into a pile of goo, unable to tell them that maybe he had changed his mind.

At first, Oouchi wanted to live, but as the days passed and his body deteriorated, his mind began to change. Around day 80 of his agonising post-irradiation existence, he begged the doctors “Please let me die, I’m not your guinea pig!” And they finally granted his wish, on day 83, when he suffered 3 massive consecutive heart attacks.

When his DNA was viewed under a microscope, it wasn’t just damaged by the radiation, it was completely fragmented, shattered into tiny pieces. There was absolutely no way his body would be able to replace cells as they died, so he died in the slowest, most horrific way possible, and his organs collapsed inside him and his veins turned into sieves.

 

[SaltyButter]

Dani has posted again this time saying she has a midline for her IV abx, and that after the 30 days of that midline, the doc promised her they will give her another chest PICC. Frankly I doubt her doctor said that, we know she purposely misunderstands / misinterprets what her doctors say all the time so I cant wait for her colossal meltdown when she gets told no in a month!

 

[mewithfriends]

Long time lurker...I have two people I feel frustrated no one is talking about yet.

The Overly Excited Meerkat. I'm fascinating and horrified by her. She has FND and her response is to spend her life buying every piece of disability equipment imaginable. She must have spent many thousands and her local council must also have funded thousands more beyond that.. Her symptoms are very mild. I've never seen even severely disabled people accrue as much equipment. Her long term goal is to buy more.

The Incurable Optimist. Has been claiming for years to be terminally ill. Shows herself dancing, walking up mountains, doing physical work looking after her garden. And yet supposedly medics are seeing her decline and she is dying. But is thinking of climbing another mountain too to grab life with both hands. I don't understand why she doesn't realise how odd it looks to be capable of doing so much when you're supposedly so ill. No one is questioning her, it's a great performance from her and she has convinced lots of people.