been updating a lot of my perfume shit today and thought i'd share some thoughts on some fragrances here as i can actually say what i truly think without offending any of the overly sensitive spastics on fragrantica. big post summarising the samples i have either 1) finished, 2) given away or 3) disposed of due to them being biohazardous waste; apologies in advance for not using any accents/umlauts/other bullshit, i'm a simple bri-ish and i don't fucking care.
SHIT I HAVE PURCHASED
Fleur Eclair - Regime Des Fleurs - 10/10
the headiest, most narcotic jasmine, orange blossom and cacao combo. i really have a thing for florals + chocolate, and the jasmine here is indolic and thick without being fecal. it's creamy, addictive and elegant; i never expected to enjoy this as much as i did.
Santal Calling - Ex Nihilo - 10/10
creamy, rich and warm sandalwood and vanilla, combined with distant, soft and cold iris and milk. there's a slight bite of nutmeg at the top before it becomes a perfect cascade of softness and comfort. everything has been nailed here - the sandalwood is smooth and opulent, the iris pretty and powdery, and the milk just adds the perfect lactonic facet. creates a scent bubble that surrounds you all day.
Ex Vetiver - Juliette Has A Gun - 8.5/10
finally managed to get this at a good discount, it's a simple citrussy-fresh-green scent profile done extremely well. very green and root-y vetiver, runs very fresh and uplifting and is beautiful for spring.
Angelique Noire - Guerlain - 10/10
previously gave this a 9, it is better than that in all honesty. green vanilla - bitter, green angelica root on top of guerlain's perfect vanilla. the guerlain vanilla i can't even begin to describe but it's just THE vanilla - soft, buttery, opulent, definitely not gourmand or edible like many a shitty vanilla doing the rounds in the current years. guerlain just does not fuck around with the l'art et la matiere line, this will be my third full bottle
Aqua Allegoria Nerolia Vetiver Forte - Guerlain - 9.5/10
the perfect sum of it's parts - the neroli begins zesty and bright before going creamy, the fig leaf is watery, crisp and green, and the vetiver is soft and woody below. it smells so fucking happy and has excellent performance for a citrus heavy fragrance - it really does pump out and bloom in warm weather
SHIT I NOW WANT TO PURCHASE
Cuir Beluga - Guerlain - 9.5/10
another i came to appreciate more with further weartesting - once again, the guerlain vanilla, this time with a smooth, powdery suede and heliotrope. it smells like a fluffiness that is hard to put into words.
Viper Green - Ex Nihilo - 9/10
this smells like a field in the late spring/early summer. green grass, flowers dripping with nectar, heady pollen in the air. it's a cluster of springtime smells that is executed so well that it's elevated beyond what it's simple scent profile suggests; it has an uncanny likeness to the british countryside on a hot summer day, without the smell of cow shit and pikeys polluting the air.
Blue Talisman - Ex Nihilo - 9/10
this has the apes on fragrantica arguing like little bitches about if this is masculine or feminine lmao but it's just fucking good. ex nihilo has a way of taking simple scent profiles that have been done 183645 times and elevating them. this is bright, juicy orange and bergamot above a creamy orange blossom, that dries into crisp woods and soft musk. it's cool and aquatic, a bit beachy, a bit tropical, and very fresh; easily wearable and likeable. i wear this and can smell that i smell Fucking Good, and sometimes that's ideal.
Fleur De Peau EDP - Diptyque - 10/10
pretty, powdery, soft, and so so girly. it's a clean, airy, soapy musk - it's what the colour white would smell like, if it had a smell. lightly floral from the iris and rose and thankfully the rose does not overpower. really fucking good - my perfect soapy, powdery, clean musk.
Santal Majuscule - Serge Lutens - 8/10
sandalwood, rose and cocoa, that's it. smells exactly like the notes suggest - it's a floral gourmand, a chocolatey rose over a rich, deep sandalwood. very elegant and something someone with class would wear, it's a more mature and woody feve gourmand, and i like them both and think they are different enough to warrant purchasing santal majuscule.
THE HITS (but not hit enough for a full bottle)
Unknown Pleasures - Kerosene - 8/10
lemon, caramel and vanilla. it smells really good but it is just way too edible for my tastes. i hoped it would lean more into the earl grey tea and honey listed in the notes, but alas, it didn't
Spiriteuse Double Vanille - Guerlain - 8/10
perfect guerlain vanilla again, this time dark, rich, boozy and ambery. a gorgeous perfume, but for guerlain vanillas, i prefer angelique noire and cuir beluga, and these fuckers are seriously expensive.
Santal Intense - Floris - 8/10
fougere and barbershop combine and make something... actually pretty damn cohesive and nice. it kinda does everything - opens with a spicy blast, before going green and fatty and pulpy, then segues into bright and sharp lavender and clove, before settling into a roughened sandalwood and cedar base. smells very good throughout this chaos but overall definitely One For The Men and not something i'd reach for if i was to purchase it.
Debaser - D.S & Durga - 8/10
great fig - green, pulpy, fatty and juicy, with a watery and aquatic quality to it. differs from philosykos edp in that it 1) actually lasts longer than a fart and 2) the drydown is rough and woody, rather than creamy. nerolia vetiver forte beat this to the Fig Crown but it still smells great and performs very well.
Khamrah - Lattafa - 7.5/10
i usually stay away from sandnigger fragrances because they often contain a lot of notes i do not like but khamrah really surprised me. it smells a bit like a poor man's tobacco honey - it has the same syrupy, thick sweetness, i believe from the dates. it's a great perfume for the price point but i ultimately have no need for it as tobacco honey is elite in every single way. also do not fall for the marketing - it's not beast mode and won't make women want to have sex with you - it's performance and sillage are average, and it smells good but won't make you not fat and unsexable. fin.
Cosmic - Emmanuel Ungaro - 7.5/10
another cheapie, this time designer, but it has... a bit more to it? it begins bright and fruity and fades into a powdery sandalwood, which is more complex than most of designer slop so it does get points for that. the sandalwood is definitely questionable but it does smell good, and the tropical fruits are really nicely done.
THE MIDS
Philosykos EDP - Diptyque - 7/10
green fresh fig that becomes creamy from the coconut. supposedly the quintessential fig but honestly it's just on the better side of Just Good. longevity of a fart.
Sweetly Known - Kerosene - 7/10
caramel and vanilla, it smells good but like food. next
Jasmin Et Cigarette - Etat Libre D'Orange - 7/10
this smells absolutely filthy but in the best way. indolic jasmine with freshly lit cigarettes - not ashtray for me, but fresh. i'd buy this and wear it if i was a hermit as i like the smell of fresh cigarettes, however i have worked with multiple Absolutely Stinking Bastards who smoke and don't know what a washing machine is and i do not want to be associated with them. i'm someone who wears perfume for my own enjoyment, but i don't ever want to be associated with folk like those dirty fucking tramps
Daisy Wild - Marc Jacobs - 7/10
daisy is still my achilles heel of designer fragrances. wild is a really nice flanker - very green, juicy and bright. i still prefer love paradise, which i already own, but wild is a very easy summer wear and i'd recommend it as a cheap summer fragrance.
VIII L'Heure Diaphane - Cartier - 7/10
watery, fresh peonies and rose, stems and all. but i am not paying nearly £300 for it, fuck off. way too simple for that price and plus i do not really like rose-heavy florals.
Iris Malikhan - Maison Crivelli - 7/10
not so much iris as it is orris. aromatic herbs + fatty, oily orris + smoky leather. the vanilla isn't as present as i wanted it to be and overall it's an interesting, and mostly enjoyable, take on orris but is very bitter, and not for me.
Rose Trombone - L'Orchestre Parfum - 7/10
a very fun rose - it's syrupy, sweet and boozy. it did get sickly though, and has the weird L'Orchestre Parfum DNA* (athough fairly light, here) and i ultimately don't really like rose florals. but it's one to try if you do like rose.
Musc Outreblanc - Guerlain - 6/10
odd, and to me, not in a good way. it's citric and lactonic which ultimately makes it very sour? i love lactonic scents but this just does not work for me. it's fine though. also fucking lasts forever.
Replica From The Garden - Maison Martin Margiela - 6/10
the part of this that is pure homegrown tomatoes in the garden, fuzzy stems and all, is great, but it opens with a blast akin to a cheap EDT from the 1960s, and dries down after about 3 hours to the potpourri in the bathroom of a nursing home, and then lasts for FUCKING ever. gets points for how damn green and good the tomato is, but the rest of the fragrance is almost abhorrent.
Rose Amira - Guerlain - 5/10
jammy rose & patchouli. boring
Peche Mirage - Guerlain - 5/10
now the peach is good. juicy, ripe and fuzzy. but the leather really is not nice (i realised at this point that, as a whole, i don't like leather in fragrances), and it sometimes reminded me of vomit. it's also just peach and leather and nothing beyond that which does not justify £300.
THE SHITS
Musc Infini - Ex Nihilo - 4/10
this is borderline a mid, just because once again with this house, it's somehow bad but... smells like quality. this is a dirty musk, like sweet sweaty skin. rose and patchouli are the only other notes i get which is kinda boring, and also makes it smell like an expired grandma overall.
Mono Cachemire - L'Orchestre Parfum - 4/10
this is the most confused fucking perfume i have ever smelled. it should be soft and comforting, creamy and pretty, but it's dusty and depressing, an ambroxan bomb. an insult to iris, though there is juicy pear for the first 10 minutes which is very nice. it's heavy and lived-in and not in a good way. the weird DNA* of this house is present here and plays a key part in this mess. it doesn't smell bad, but it's a Bad perfume - just poorly executed, and so disappointing
Sandalwood Temple - Sana Jardin - 4/10
this is not a good sandalwood and after trying it i am convinced the people saying it is THE BEST SANDALWOOD EVER are being fucking paid. it's a rubbery, synthetic, scratchy mess. i love a good synthetic fragrance where it is clearly deliberate, but here it is not. no neroli, bergamot or orange blossom. doesn't stink but is still crap and i feel deceived.
Vetiver Oriental - Serge Lutens - 3/10
what the fuck this is not vetiver. there is no chocolate or iris. this is just a slightly spicy, extremely pissy and sweaty, amber. 3 points because the piss was spared for 3 or so hours of an okay enough fragrance. do people smell these fucking things before they name them?
Sweetly Known - Kerosene - 2/10
old piss but it gets merit because it's my fault that i ordered a sample of this before double-checking the notes. it's straight amber. i never would have enjoyed this.
Cuir Kora - L'Orchestre Parfum - 1/10
horrible, though with the notes it has i never expected to like it (it was part of a discovery set so i tried it, and tbh the discovery set has been shit as a whole so far). astringent opening, nasty harsh leather and saffron, the weird dna*. smells fucking dirty,
Bibliotheque - Byredo - 0/10
this has robbed the crown of The Worst Fucking Thing I've Ever Smelled from Etat Libre D'Orange's Story Of Your Life. this is fucking ROTTEN. overripe, rotting peaches and plums with the dirtiest, stickiest, old leather sofa, with a generous dash of saliva from someone with horrific dental hygiene. absolutely repulsive and just smells fucking filthy. if this was a place, it's the dankest open-air paki market in some shithole desert selling fruit surrounded by flies carrying fuck knows what undiscovered diseases but you'll be lucky if they don't kill you, but all the awnings are leather and are just fucking sweating in the sun. then add some dirty sweaty feet. absolutely haram.
HOUSES
*L'Orchestre Parfum and their weird DNA - i have now tried 8/13 of this discovery set and all of the fragrances have this nasty heavy, dusty, ambroxan-esque base to them. and it does not mesh well with anything. the samples last 3 wears too and it's painful to get through the ones that i have started because even though most of them have something half-decent about them, this ugly DNA rears it's head and makes it smell shit in the end anyway. i can appreciate that i just do not like certain perfumes, notes, and in fact find some disgusting, but a lot of these perfumes are Bad Perfumes. badly executed, badly blended; i haven't finished/decluttered Encens Asakusa, Liqueur BPM or Cocktail Appalaches yet but they're all shit. Bouquet Encore and Vetiver Overdrive are just okay. Ambre Cello is the only one i actually like and would wear, which i did not expect, and i'm saving my last wear of it as i need to clear out the shit first. then there's the 4 i haven't started yet but i just... don't want anymore disappointment.
Byredo is actual shit i swear. Desert Dawn is horrible, Bibliotheque is a biohazard, Velvet Haze is a really shit and dusty mugler angel, and the rest don't even remotely appeal to me. i chose the ones i thought i would like to sample and have still hated them, i am at a loss with how the house as a whole is popular. like the three i've tried are Bad Bad.
Ex Nihilo however has been fucking brilliant. i picked out 8 samples + a travel of Blue Talisman and out of the 7 i've tried so far, i've only disliked Musc Infini. Blue Talisman and Viper Green i have already mentioned; Atlas Fever is smoky and nutty (though smells very similar on drydown to ELDO's Frustration, so i wouldn't purchase due to it just being too similar to something i already own), Honore Delights is so fluffy, beautiful, soft and creamy, and Bois D'Hiver and Iris Porcelana i've only briefly worn but both were very nice too. haven't tried Vetiver Moloko or Spiky Muse yet but damn there's something really captivating to me about this house's fragrances. i feel less pissed off about having to pay £57 in customs due to ordering directly from the ex nihilo website itself (100ml of santal calling, a 6-piece discovery set + 2 free samples and a free travel size from the website was cheaper than buying JUST 100ml of santal calling from selfridges/harrods/liberty, the ROBBING CUNTS). i kind of don't regret it now.
i was hunting for another discovery set to buy - i eventually settled on trying some Pierre Guillaume Paris fragrances. started by combing fragrantica to pick out 15 to build my own set but i found that there was a hell of a lot of fragrances that i wanted to sample, so i just set fuck it and ordered the whole house discovery set of 75 samples. i also have samples of Guerlain's Neroli Outrenoir and Neroli Plein Sud on the way too from ordering two full bottles from them today. plus another Cuir Beluga sample bc fucking hell i can only afford one l'art et la matiere at once. exciting.
