🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Oliver Onions]

I look at their Twitter and the first thing there pinned is a "Big white cock," performing anal on a Latinx
No wonder he wants in!

Ralph is gonna be so disappointed when he gets there and finds a group of eager, moderately sedated, young women ready to get going in front of the camera instead of that big white cock to clap his cheeks.

 

[Gator_Aids]

It feels like Ralph is gearing up to enter his John McAfee arc. Seems like a fitting chapter.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

I can't wait until some Columbian prostitue doses Ralph with scopolamine and then the cartels down there disappear him once they realize he has no money.

 

[Unremarkable Anus Lover]

Nah, don't forget, Ralph told Jesse that he isn't a huge fan of anal, because penetrating an asshole requires a full erection

This is cope. Ralph is secretly seething because he doesn't possess the size required to jam his Memphis Micro into anyone's chocolate starfish. We know he loves to dig around turd tunnels, after all.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

He's just going to be one of those clients that refuses to pay because he can't get hard, passes out in a pill haze and wakes up with tremendous bladder pain after getting bobby pins fed down his urethra.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Gotta be a scam. No way they took one look at this and thought “Yeah we want this on video”.

Spoiler

Are they just hoping for retards to bite?

 

[Estate]

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Im on my knees, praying that Ralph does a professional porn video, because you know, once he's about to bust a nut on some gutter trash spic whore, he'll shout "Josh Moooooooonn!!"
The ultimate power move! A videotaped cum tribute to your arch nemesis.
Peak porcine cinema.

 

[Tiger Jack]

Ralph's gonna have the night of his life and all it's gonna cost is both his kidneys.

 

[Xev]

If a few Destiny blow job videos broke the farms I can only imagine what a piggertits porno would do.

 

[Gator_Aids]

The best possible outcome of a “One Night at Ralphie’s” video would be taking too much xannies and passing out mid-act on top of her as he excitedly mumbles “cAn We HiT it?!?!”

 

[Jershua Coomer Troon]

The best possible outcome of a “One Night at Ralphie’s” video would be taking too much xannies and passing out mid-act on top of her as he excitedly mumbles “cAn We HiT it?!?!”

Ralph being on top is most improbable part of that scenario

 

[Mr. Manchester]

If a few Destiny blow job videos broke the farms I can only imagine what a piggertits porno would do.

Nobody gives a shit about Ralph, the website will be fine. In fact everyone will become violently ill so the website will have a little less traffic than normal.

 

[Pelican Bones]

It feels like Ralph is gearing up to enter his John McAfee arc. Seems like a fitting chapter.

Enough of the "Whale Thumbing is non-consensual" bullshit. A Humpback Whale weighs 70,000 pounds, is fifty feet long, can dive more than a quarter mile and can crush ships with a single swipe of its tail. If a human manages to thumb one, you damn well better believe it's consensual, bish!

 

[AncientPhosphur]

We need a new poll on the outcome of his pornstar escapades. Will he hit the goal? Pussy out? End up in a Colombian organ harvest? Make the internet vomit?

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

We need a new poll on the outcome of his pornstar escapades. Will he hit the goal? Pussy out? End up in a Colombian organ harvest? Make the internet vomit?

I'm going with Ralph will fuck this up assuming it was a serious offer. Although there is a gonzo porn studio out there that does hire people with the build of an eldritch horror.

 

[FiveStarAce]

Ralph... Do it for Xander.

 

[Beavis]

If Ralph does a professional porn shoot give him lolcow of the year.

 

[Elmo]

ANY HOALS DA GOAL!!

 

[Cucktry Roads]

That porn studio is about to be ground zero for an aids outbreak.

 

[Neil]

Sorry for the double post but this is just too funny. GUNTED.com is back on the menu
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Glad to see Ralph upgraded from Streamable.com to LatinaTeenPornCasting. The Faith Vickers Experience cumming coming soon to a sex trafficked Latin American girl of questionable age on a porn website near you!