I dunno what it is but there's something in the air.. the manic spending spree he's been on lately is reminiscent of periods in his online existence where he's been attempting to buy his way out of some existential predicament like when PandaLeeGames stopped sharing space within the Burnell Productions studios. His gamble in 2024 was an uncharacteristic attempt to claw his way out of exile and it gave him a brief ego boost before kicking him in the teeth and stuffing him back in his hole again.
His desperation spiking to what seems like an all time high, delusions that are more outlandish than ever before, hints of Kat being unwell and various clips I've seen of weird body spasms like his ears, jaw and head twitching all point towards some sort of health crisis arc this year. There was a pretty disturbing one where he actually looked like he having a mini stroke when talking to Craig but it may have simply been his first shot of adrenaline in 8 years from actual (worthless) hyuman khantact.
Because it's phil I expect any actual issues to end up being exaggerated but I feel like there's going to be a khambo of actual mental and physical health setbacks for him this year. The older we get it simply becomes less of an if and more of a when afterall. You could say his lifestyle dictates that its been going on for years anyway but he just seems more frayed than usual and I'm hardly the only one who's noticing it.
DSPolitics being sent to the chaos realm seems like a given along with him finally abandoning Street Fighter 6. I'm actually surprised he didn't drop it after a month but his entire faggot gaymer identity is so closely linked to this series that he'd rather continue to smurf on casuals (which isn't satisfying to anyone with any self worth) and develop a brain aneurysm over Cammy's booty than allow the few remaining embers of the gaymer larp to die out.
I think its only a matter of time before Ashton (I call him Triple Chin although PPP is NOT asian. That is all) throws phil under the shortbus. Everyone who interacts with phil becomes tainted. The Kino Casino's license was already pulled up for review after Vegas and the mystic in me chooses to believe it wasn't mere coincidence.. you try to reanimate the corpse of DSP by actively encouraging more SSI fellatio and spaz clapping The King moniker back into existence? Its like reading from the Necronomicon.
Phil was just never going to be able live up to the sort of reputation Casino seemed to have attached to him. Mahdern Eru Phil is just too diminished. His genuine disinterest in anyone or anything but himself means he has nothing to offer Ashton in the long run.. his aenemic takes and wiffle ball strength callouts don't even register. He'll never even agree to watch WWE live on Netflix with him either eventhough he's suppoed to be a reacktionary improv khamedy streamer. Ashton will dump him and we'll get the inevitable indignant meltdown from phil crying in his RGB Romper Room.
I'm gonna pour a bunch of
rainbow sauce
on the rest since I've waffled on enough already. Going out on a lean in here because I actually want the kiss of life going through phil's shitty khantent:
Phil will be forced to take a trip back this year to CT at the behest of the Queen of QVC, Linda. Phill will take this opportunity to inform his audience that this break in his autistic schedule will literally destroy muh bizness - it will in fact not destroy muh bizness. He will use his ailing parents for pitybux, score a fat wad and be relieved of it against his will to fix khando issues that can no longer be ignored.
Kat will become sentient through the power of AI, acktually lose weight, leave phil for Cybertruck Man and become a successful gravure idol in Osaka. She will actually enjoy anime, Kpop and never eat doordash ever again.
Another celebrity (remember Guillermo del Toro retweeted detractor khantent lmao) will tweet about phil and give him a viral surge that will save the bizness. I've had this one in the bank for a long time but Neger's mention of Trump/Elon tweeting a DSP meme sounds so on point.. especially from Elon. If not him all we need is for Cristiano Ronaldo to Macallantweet phil at 4am and tell him he's been a fan since the Epic Mickey playthough and its on.
Phil will start wearing RGB hats, glasses and vests as a new reward scheme and it will prove to be the catalyst that triggers his first period.
A jilted supporter will finally show up within the gated khammunity and attempt a drive-by shooting in their wheelchair. They wil not be sucessful. Only phil can shoot himself in the foot.
I think I'm done
... a Khet health arc.
