random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Cnidarian]

God is real and He hates us.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I can't kill myself as there is a chance that it leads to a worse afterlife. I need to pass away due to no fault of my own.

 

[Pedophobe]

God damn it! Why do I always end up seeing someone's butt? Every fucking time!

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Ask things like "how can I find xyz on such and such thread?" or "why does Josh care so much about cheese? Is he fat?" etc.

 

[neger psykolog]

I go on many boards on the site and the DSP forum is uniquely treated in a way I would compare to an unwanted employee management hates but is getting governement funding for keeping him around

 

[Xarpho's Return]

this is a story about something good happening to a citizen of New Jersey, which i am ethically opposed to

 

[Diggus Bickus]

He almost had God on his side but then he had to go and admit that he owns a menorah. Classic Catholic mistake. Satan wins again.

 

[Spectate]

*AHEM*
*Tap tap tap*
"Manifesto manifesto,
Cat rapist! Cat rapist!
Where's the manifesto?
Where's the manifesto?
Kill yourself,
Kill yourself."

 

[Cun75p4rkl35]

“I need you to check my ass for cancer.”
“You mean cum in your ass?”
“…no! I -“
“You want the entire block to sodomize you?”
“NO!”
“You are now saying you want the entire city of Lisbon inside your ass? Well, if that’s what you want.”

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I’ve managed to stay alive by the skin of my teeth. gd knows how. I saw death. I met death. I saw the other side. I could see all the souls wandering around the hospital.

 

[Aunt Carol]

who the fuck is donating to this crippled nigger

What I’m really doing if it’s not clear is flexing that my cat loves me enough to let me kiss his belly.

Nigga if you're 40+ why you care? You're about to die anyway

 

[McMitch]

It’s that old Norm MacDonald lean-in: “WHORES!”

 

[volatile puar]

Besides the word Nigger can never be shocking to me.
it has nothing to do with black people, I just legitimately have very good memories with that word.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Blood type is to Japanese women what zodiac signs are to American women.

There's being obtuse, and then there's being so far in the closet you're in Narnia, and then there's this dude.

I can picture this guy through the screen. Including the meth sores.

Homie out there looking like homo florensiesis in a dress.

But would she have been willing to take the ultimate step for their romance and agree to fart in his vagina?

She is extremely annoying and full of herself despite no actual accomplishments. I can see why Fatrick hates her. She is stealing his bit

I was moved to tears by the scene where Tim turns to the audience and says "Cor blimey, guv'nor, that Hitler bloke, onto something, wasn't he?"

Someone hasn't eaten three portions of cheese covered broccoli and wanted to fuck a friend's mom.

I absolutely adore how even with a sympathy post, he's randomly tagging istathots. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Imagine being a parent and naming your kid "Aubrey." Why not just name him "gigantic faggot born to suck cocks?"

ChatGPT is as much a lying whore as any woman or coworker.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

A metoidioplasty is basically a Nintendo Switch 2.

Japan is getting revenge on us to this day with Vtubers.

German men have turned into bitch-ass piss-sitting faggots.

It's a known fact that women love men with loud piss streams, they call it the horse-cock effect. The inclusion of a woman's voice shrieking at the defiant stallion only serves to entice the Teutonic female further. German engineering never fails to impress.

 

[Laburnum]

As Joe Biden said, he’s a well spoken, slick, white.

 

[Spectate]

IF YOU PICK A FEMALE IN A SHOOTER YOU ARE A TROON, IF YOU PICK A FEMALE FOR THE SMALLER HITBOX YOU ARE AN OPPORTUNISTIC TROON

 

[frozen_runner]

The Declaration of Independence was originally written in Gaelic.

The CRABS are GOING in the WRONG DIRECTION. THE WRONG DIRECTION!!!! WHY ISNT ANYONE ELSE PANICKING??????

CRABS!!! WRONG DIRECTION!!!

Moshi moshi?

Based departmento?

Both fascism and racist appeal to computers because one is about central control and the other is about statistical analysis. So of course AI turns out nazi.

The 4 condiments of Reddit

1/ Ketchup
2/ Mustard
3/ Salsa
4/ HRT

No mention of rape is a happy ending.

Being Babushka was hard enough without people wondering if you are packing a pickle.

Incomprehensible thread title, have a great day.

deep and intentional creampies

 

[Laburnum]

They also drink (american) beer, do BBQs, and punch each other for fun.