random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

The Ukrainians aren't Chechens or other subspecies likely to explode on contact.

 

[SneedEyeMitch]

Jesus told me to tell you guys. He said you were based and would understand.

 

[CobraPlissken]

Also lol at Lurch thinking he's above crackheads when his sanctum is like Crazy Eyes Jerome's, my brand new imaginary friend who squats at a long-abandoned Gary, Indiana Chuck E Cheese on a bed of Chinese knockoff prizes, and whose crackhead adventures I now want chronicled in a children's book.

Okay, Joe, time to go home. You’ve had enough. We’ve had enough. Put some clothes on under your McQueen vagina cardigan, bite your wife again (lovingly), and take a nap.

Your message is legitimately unhinged, islamic and autistic, but i got a good belly laugh out of that part, so thank you, Hentai Scholar.

Exactly. I make no excuses. I make no diversions. This is autistic. This is unhinged. No doubt about it.
This is fantasy, IMAGINARY porn. That is the only distinction I will make.

 

[Meat Target]

Only gamers want a country not run by retarded oligarchs, maybe they really are the most oppressed minority

Look, we're all adults, we've all killed hookers and beaten off to it. There's no need to brag.

 

[Blackhole]

If you feel down about yourself, remember that you're not a sex offender in the Jail of Fail for incest.

We're building a big, beautiful wall, and Ethan Ralph is going to pay for it.

 

[Meat Target]

All the dead bodies and civilian lives ruined don't make me as sick and disgusted as I am at those pictures.

 

[tehpope]

You'd have to be a low IQ nigger to go to kiwifarms to read serious informative discussions on geopolitics...

 

[Return of the Freaker]

You too cuck for ukrainian wife. She will fuck you inass and you will become pregnant.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

His Brony credentials are surface level at best, he's lost MLP debates against twelve year olds, for Godssake.

 

[CatParty]

queerosexual gendermancer

 

[Meat Target]

Okay I’m seriously worrying about your mental state at this point.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Oh no! Who would have thougt that genital multilation doesn't make you feel happy?!

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Has anyone seen one of those terrible pornos where a man can't get a turn on, the woman fails to fake an orgasm and the producer turns out to be their prebubescent son?

 

[Meat Target]

They countermeasured by finding the keys to the Marine's armory and chasing them away from their crayons and loli porn.

I have no expectations beyond them lowering the pet population in whatever neighborhood they move into.

Sucking dick seems to be quite the national pastime.

 

[CobraPlissken]

How painful is being misgendered? Imagine this: a knife has been plunged into your back, and you're slit clean up from buttock to neck, and your spinal chord is ripped from your body - and you're then bent over and buttfucked with your own spine

H/T @AirdropShitposts

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Nigger stop manifesting. Undo this right now.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I shouldn't be surprised this dude is married to another dude as he clearly has no idea what a woman's genitals are supposed to look like.

 

[Mr Bunny]

What? Nine meals a day? Are you a hobbit?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Next up: Dark and Gritty Dora the Explorer reboot, where she uses her magic map to evade Border Patrol to deliver the condoms full of cocaine shoved up her ass to her contacts in the States before the cartels back home saw off Boots’ head.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Omg literally me, eat your chihuahua fried with street oil for extra flavor