random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sparkling Yuzu]

But not Redditors, who rarely see sunlight.

Because most people totally throw birthday parties for someone else the same day as a funeral.

You know that's not the only underboob skin tag she's got, either.

I guess she's still too fat to use the weighted hula hoop

You'd know what pussy whipped meant if you weren't so cock-thirsty.

-Communication: when it comes to informing the world about his wife's yeasty vagina, he excels at it.

no, you don't pass bro. You look like 2011 pewdiepie with that pickaxe chin

Lmfao imagine having to carry the decaying remains of your flayed and mutilated penis,

sorry, Mr Dead Innards, you look like every other male black metal fan ever.

I mean surely sucking on the tits of big titted turkroach milfs is close enough right?

incestuous cat rape dungeon.

He told a fast food outlet he couldn't work weekends. It's like telling a strip club manager you don't want the customer's seeing your tits.

I can hear the screams of palestinian children looking at this picture.

a sweltering chemical toilet for house cats out in the Alabama woods.

"tucked in" is an extremely mild and inaccurate way of describing how its flayed, split down the middle and shoved back up inside the faggots taint.

Just don't queef, son, you'll blow out the windows.

The dick would be like having a literal dog shit attached to your crotch.

they look like a literal joke and I love that for tranny representation.

Stupider than a used tampon

She will die prematurely from heart disease on this hill.

You never get fucked as hard or as thoroughly as when you fuck yourself

Kids should know to hate and fear the homo. Their butt is on the line, literally.

The market must be really saturated for groomer clickbaiters with cartoon avatars

I haven't checked the syllabus at St Andrews, but I'd be surprised if the philosophy course had a module on being exposed to some rugger bugger's latex-clad dong.

Tell me on the doll where the femoid hurt you.

Well the first thing you need to do is fuck off and the second thing is touch grass you sheltered little autist

 

[keytar]

jersh the Keffals masturbating video at:
https://uploads.kiwifarms.net/data/video/4368/4368052-5e710ec5d28c03e79c31d7274d4bb5f8.mp4 on the DDoS Retardation doesn't work

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

1648 Tulip ln. please come here. or order me pizzas. I don't care anymore. dealing with an alcoholic. not scarred

 

[Punished Neco]

Don't discredit how much my opinion matters - Enny43

I'm a million times more than a Reddit mod - Enny43

Source, Keffals mod in DM's to some Youtube creator. [Twitter post]

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I doxxed myself, come kill me, faggot

Yes it’s all true. After the Torah is returned to the ark the rabbi steps up to the podium and says, “now onto the real issue at hand. These shitbulls…”

 

[Pissmaster]

I still have no clue what the fuck is happening but I do know one thing: you will all be raped

Fellas fellas relax this kind of tension is not an ideal environment for rape

 

[Meth Until Death]

Dumb nigger, you should have never posted your dox. I'm gonna hire a bunch of Chinamen off Craigslist to come to your house and eat your fucking ugly dogs

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

If you dont stop telling lies about me, I'm just gonna have to Rape ya.

 

[LurkTrawl]

You find a bipedal, human-shaped fox person IRL, it's just a dude in a fursuit who will probably be ecstatic to meet you. You find a dog-shaped dog, that's a dog. Please do not have sex with dogs.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Back in my day we didn't have sushi or darts, when we wanted to celebrate, we went outside and beat niggers with sticks.

I still do that

 

[Anonitolia]

You do realize that linking to the Bechdel Test doesn't actually prove your claim at all, right?

 

[Kerr Avon]

Where Degenerates Dare, a tale of Allied commandos seeking to infiltrate Schloss Balldo

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I doxxed myself, come kill me, faggot

Because liberals prey on retarded people and most people are retarded and half of them just happen to be women.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This thread has generally been wrong about the specific things that are wrong with me. I am pretty insufferable, just not for the stated reasons.

 

[Bloitzhole]

There's nothing wrong with having a sexual relationship with your first cousin.
It's normal

 

[Meat Target]

Its a fucking toy which i used to set on fire when i was a child.

Sometimes I won't even read an article to make fun of it on KF. This is one of those times.

 

[Gentlebastard]

What do you say to someone with a PhD in trans and queer gender methodologies?

"Yes, I would like fries with that."

Being Mexicans would explain why Australians are so violent and drunk.

are you going to tell me porn isn't real life?

This is Advanced Clown World. The jokes write themselves.

This held true until he entered the atmosphere of Kiwi Farms, where his dissent into the atmosphere proved too much and he was quickly burned up in a fireball of autism

absolute faggots even by reddit standards

Admittedly I've never gotten a euphoria boner, so don't listen to someone who is clearly womaning incorrectly.

There are less objectionable ways to solve the homeless problem than breeding more shitbulls.

I wish that the A&H forum had a better quality of news, because these articles are truly awful. I hate knowing that they exist.

You know, thermo-nuclear warfare really doesn't sound that bad anymore.

Way to destine your daughter for a career in interacial gangbang porn.

This is so bleak I can't even come up with a joke.

The Pitbull owner cries out in pain as his dogs maul you.

TAMMY! TAMMY COME HEIMLICH THE DOG!

No, child. Synopsizes is not misspelt by any dictionary definition.
You have been warned many times to cease correcting my spelling.
Continuing to do so constitutes felony lexical harassment.
Never corect my spelling again, atalker
Enjoy Prizon

The grill cheese plays second fiddle to the tomato soup so make sure your tomato soup recipe is on point.

On a long enough timeline, Alex Jones is usually right about his consipiracy theories.

Quit murdering people, you murdering murderer.

Onlyfans is the crypto rush for women it seems.

Cunt could eat an orange through a tennis racket.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

View attachment 5226776

IT SEEMS BOTH SIDES ARE CALLING ME A HOMOSEXUAL

 

[Pissmaster]

get your lazy ass to bed cause i want you to fill out three job applications in the morning you lazy fucking nigger

 

[Gentlebastard]

Applying advanced mathematics to this conundrum... giving men the value of +1 and women the value of -1, clearly the answer is that the pillow is closer to being a woman. The pillow has no sex giving a value of 0 so is 1 away from being a woman. The deluded retarded troon being a dude with a value of +1 is 2 away from being a woman. QED - mathematical proof that troons aren't women and never will be.

If a gun was held to my head and I was forced to choose between fucking the waifu pillow or the troon, I'm fucking that waifu pillow.

True engineers(not Comp Sci) have never seen a woman so they can't actually troon out since they have no point of reference.

I've posited the idea that the proliferation of onlyfans is just a way to look at a coworkers ass without HR going on a crusade. It's like a social condom of sorts.

"I don't want them punished, I just want them brainwashed" is a telling window into his mental state.

if I had to choose between being a land whale or taking that shit I truly think I’d consider jumping off the roof.

Congratulations, you may not die like Elvis.

I wasn't sure if Ralph complaining about Faith dressing their son in corn clothes to alog him in an official court room procedure could be topped but this is close.

I don’t have the vocabulary for how MATI it makes me.

Kiwi Farms threads have killed several of my ribs I'll have you know

At worst Kiwi farms is responsible for negligent ribicide.

TLDR: Google are niggers.

They are calling you slurs in their cricket language.

It's frightening when some anonymously says they don't agree with me.