random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Breadbear]

My boobs naturally divide…? As opposed to what exactly? A large monoboob structure?

 

[Meat Target]

No offense meant to the artists, but I'm a bit tired of "FAT CUNT" permanently affixed to the background.

 

[CaddestSlown]

"DO IT FOR THE VIIIIINE!"
hungry lathe noises
"YOOLOOOO"
hungry lathe noises

It's better than AM radio!

 

[JustSomeDong]

Oh, how many neg stickers did you give me before that? At least I didn’t cry in public about it

 

[Dr. Butt]

Did you list us in order of how attractive we are or how good we are at doxing bc either way somebody's taking offence at this.

 

[Crex Crex]

Despite the mother issues, I think Null will go to his grave before he admits that he's gay.

People spend billions of dollars for nitrogen fertilizer in the form of urea.... But if I piss on the floor while yelling that I'm vegan I get banned from Easter .

You’ll probably cure cancer before curing the male piss problem.

I think all women are equally fat and retarded

Comments like that one actually make me want to haterape one of these redditors. I would lock a redditor in a chastity cage, throw the key away and then force them to watch interracial porn, so that their cock would try to grow erect in the cage and felt excruciating pain. Then I would forcefully push a Bad Dragon horse dildo into the redditor and overwrite every ounce of their leftover masculinity, brainwashing them into a hungry anal cockslut. Then I would force the redditor to wear comically undersized female lingerie and invite a pack of sexually frustrated niggers to take out their frustrations. Then I would collect money from the satisfied niggers, put a buttplug inside the redditor and force them to attend an MRI scan. I can only hope this will happen to every one of these smug redditors.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

-Be me.
-Be mormon.
-Be fifty.
-Be fat.
-Be Welper's uncle.
-Le little rascal posts my hand on some new zealand farming website.
-Some transvestite yells at me for being a kiwinazi.
-Be excommunicated from your local mormon barn building circle.

 

[Diggus Bickus]

Hey Kiwi Farms, Trash Boat is Back!

 

[Aunt Carol]

If I got my genitals blown off by a landmine or something I'd probably become a raging autist Lego or Warhammer enthusiast.

 

[neger psykolog]

 

[DickMain]

why even jerk off to fucking lego out of all things though

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

This thread has some of the dumbest motherfuckers I've ever seen posting on the internet.

 

[SofondaCox]

@HeyRosalina

You murdered the only person who signed your yearbook?

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Just speculation but: I wonder if the surgeons tell them they can "size up" over time as the skin stretches. Kind of like when people stretch earlobes. Iirc we've seen larger labia-ball implants start to reject, so I wouldn't be surprised if these butchers were like "lol yeah we'll start small, then come in and pay for another faux nutsack stretch-sesh in 6 months. We'll pop the next size of neuticles right in there, no prob." But maybe many pooners die/detrans/crotch falls off before they can ever labiamaxx to true and honest ballsack size

 

[Al Jolson]

HOLY SHIT, I JUST SAW MIKU MURDER ALL TRANNY JANNIES IN THE NAME OF HITLER!

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Null get this gigantic piece of shit off my screen

 

[Aunt Carol]

There are a lot of people in here who don’t remember what it was like before porn was on your phone. Sometimes you had to squint at the vaguely girl shaped thing to get off.

 

[Shoresy]

"DURR IM GAY IM FUCKING GAY AND RETARDED DURRRR COCKS"

 

[Oliver Onions]

Relevant:

But that argument is not only a non-sequitur, it also requires a belief in time travel.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

I ERP'd with those minors with pure intentions!