random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Maldavius Figtree]

To deflower Luigi like that took forethought, it took effort; he put the panties on Luigi on purpose, cut holes with intent.

Honestly that's not so bad, just a really lazy guy's piss/cum jug.

Nice elder abuse, tho.

The shit I said in the boy's locker room at school would start a 2nd Yugoslav war if it was recorded

No self-respecting adult man would call his cup a "sippy cup".

Reddit humor is so painfully unfunny that suicide is often preferable.

 

[MongInTheMirror]

That compression garment is hiked so high her vulva has got to be poking through like a chimp eating ice cream through a knothole.

The fat obviously peaking through the piss hole on the compression while she does legpress... She is posting this on purpose, right?

Apparently he’s not even a troon and is just a weird narcissistic faggot that likes to wear dresses.

 

[Wallace]

There are many things I enjoy about T but knowing that my ass crack is going to Itch ferociously every day for the rest of my life is not one of them.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Greeks: MAKE THE DICKS SMALL. ALL OF EM. A BIG PENIS IS UNCIVILIZED OR SOMETHING. IF YOU CARVE ANYTHING BIGGER THAN 3 INCHES WE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.

Romans: LOL, make it bigger. More veins. Nah, like a fuckin' forearm. Haha, based.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

THE NECTAR OF THE UNBORN

 

[CaddestSlown]

No offense, but I'm pretty sure the giant penis graffiti on dudes faces wasn't intended as a compliment.

Brother, the greatest compliment anyone could pay to me would be to draw a hilariously massive dong on my tombstone.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Hahahaha yessssss MORE GREASY SAGGY ASS

 

[CaddestSlown]

If anyone disagrees with my posts, guess what? You are a diaper shitting pedophile in a cult. And if you don’t believe that, then you are retarded.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A lot of men with vagina fetishes and women with penis fetishes participate in a lifestyle based around the marriage paraphilia.

id rather welcome the voice of god weather or not its real i like felling less lonely

So when I wrap my dick with copper wiring to magnetize my dick it's not a valid sexuality?

 

[Doxmatix]

I can’t believe Im dancing with a fish

But tellingly this 30 minute rant, in detail, about masturbating on stream, is not the actions of someone of sound mind.

thanks DPS, now i know drinking not alone means gay ass rape

It's just a meme bruh. I don't even own an air fryer.

Edit: I see there are a lot of brown hands clicking on the Reaction button.

 

[Metamorpho]

Kiwis are awesome, I would shake my butt for some

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Nah, in fact I’ve decided to be a National Bolshevik in your thread out of spite.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

God got troll’s remorse

The art of being gay without being a faggot is lost to time, it seems.

the first thing I see right there in front of me, on this 70 year old lady's phone, was gay smut

HE'S WHITE. HE'S MAYONAISE ON A CRACKER. HE'S A SEAMONKEY.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!! I WANTED TO EAT OUT THAT DOLL'S SOLID TIGHT PORCELAIN ASS!!! WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE CLICKBAIT!?!?!?!?! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!! I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL THIS FUCKING REPORTER!!! I WANTED A SOLID TASTE OF ANNIE'S GREASED UP CHOCOLATE MACHINE AND INSTEAD I ONLY GET TO SEE A REGULAR FUCKING POPCORN BUCKET!!! GRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

[John Andrews Stan]

my baby makes everything better she's always there I'm just waiting for Mom to come so on this note I probably will be going to a mental hospital for a while

Via @Vi0l3t

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I was chosen by God, there was a full moon on the day of my birth and it told me to loot your ancap lands.

Who runs the Ancap internet?

 

[Xarpho's Return]

You're gifting porn? To someone else?

He's a Canadian from Vancouver, of course he's going to be either a weirdo or Chinese.

This is just a step in the process to turn Palestinian children into 40k style servitors.

 

[Speedrunner]

When you think about it, banning child porn is tranny genocide.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Chuds are cheering, gooners are crashing out, and the PS5 players are completely indifferent.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The Bronies got activated. It's as if hearing the words "horse crucifixion" turned on some MK-Ultra programming and it's just Hell on Earth over there rn.

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

You can’t just ban everything. This isn’t the UK.