random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Da Capo]

"Oy vey, goyim! This nose wouldn't lie about bargains, trust me!"

 

[Hamstirer]

By second semester, what had felt like a sexless, numb mound now resembled an actual vagina. My nerves healed, and slowly I started to notice sensations around my perfectly sculpted, man-made clitoris.

 

[Zeftax]

the behavior/posting was intolerable, even by Null's lax standards.

Let's hope their level of interference stays the way it is.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

the syringe is reddit, the heroin is the New York Times, and the needle tracks are "In This House We Believe" signs in their front yard.

Methinks the incessant whining about men might be projection

Gamergate did it.

Somebody postmark this.

That's because many Americans are retarded.

Diarrhea Bubblebath sounds absolutely sublime.

Nazis! Nazis everywhere! Even in your computer!

I entered a thread I knew I wouldn't like, and now I am upset

Muhammed didn't know he was being seduced by a 9 year old girl. He thought she was a 9 year old BOY.

Absolutely wall to wall Seamonkeys sharing AI generated images and Arma III videos.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

The only people I give a shit about besides other whites are Mongols (they're just cool)

Diarrhea Bubblebath sounds absolutely sublime.

 

[Chromeo]

After 50 years it's no longer just a candle but a family relic. If the mona lisa was made out of chocolate you'd still be a nigger for eating it

I don't even know what you'd call this. My mind went to "fpreg" before I realized how fucking ridiculous that sounds.

It looks like raping that boy in the ass left him very disappointed and sad.

I just got an e-mail notification that the loli pizza t-shirt auction is ending in 3 hours. I looked at the auctions on my real account. That I share with my father. That I have a filter to forward all ebay e-mails to him.

I feel like we're not blaming the Jews as much as we could

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

She was a child at some point of her life, you sick fuck.

 

[Zeftax]

He also apparently doesn't like Norm McDonald which led to lawsuits.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

The Satancon video was the bombing of the USS Cole.
The Wired article was my 9/11

 

[30+GameOvers]

Behind every lolcow is a lolparent

 

[Hitman One]

The Internet is no place for feelings

 

[Gentlebastard]

Every once in a while I like to refer to a pint as a "fluid pound." If you ever want to make both Imperial and Metric autists mad at the same time.

He is clearly an unstable, low-IQ faggot who is prepared to screech and incite drama over the tiniest perceived slight

No, thinks the troon, everyone must know my grotesque fetishes. all several dozen of them, in excruciating detail.

Imagine the sweaty greasiness that poor woman felt when she touched his skin. He probably smelled like the water in a hotdog steamer after the little league game is over and the concession stand starts closing up.

There will be blood shed like water, and tears like mist, but normal fucking people will conquer in the end.

 

[Day of the Cope]

If autism was radioactive this thread would look like Chernobyl, holy shit.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Literal DIY estrogen simulator in Minecraft that has over 1 million downloads.

"Please imitate a frog with a cold trying to do a gay falsetto"

Poor boomers, they went fishing to escape their bitch wives, now they can’t even fish in peace without gay furries being in the same river.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Sometims YouTube deletes any comment with dirty words, sometimes you can type a few lines of Mein Kampf and get away with it.

the olympics sucks.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

“The prototype Fent Reactor MK69 and the Niggalink v3 were lost on Tau Ceti. We need you to find them, Mr. Droyd. Find them and bring them back to earth. The future of negrobotics depends on it!”

 

[Bill Evans 45]

I wish we had video of Tarl weaving around and blasting off shots like a drunk gay Yosemite Sam.

This one is too long to use, but it is applicable to every cow on this site.

Yeah, it's beautiful in a way.

A man is walking through a field and falls into a deep, dark well. He lands at the bottom, bruised but alive. He looks up and sees a circle of light far above.

People pass by and hear his cries. They lean over the edge and shout, "Friend, we have a rope! Reach out and grab it!" They drop a sturdy rope down to him. The man looks at the rope, then looks at the dirt at his feet. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small hand trowel, and begins to dig.

"No!" the people shout. "Don't dig! You're making it deeper! Just grab the rope!"

The man ignores them. He digs faster. He thinks to himself, 'These people don't understand the dirt like I do. If I dig deep enough, I’ll find the secret way out that they are too blind to see.'

More people arrive. They bring a ladder. They bring a winch. They bring professional rescuers. They plead with him to stop digging, explaining that the deeper he goes, the less likely the rope will reach him.

The man looks up, wipes the sweat from his brow, and screams, "You're all just jealous of my hole!" and he continues to dig until the light from the surface is nothing but a tiny, mocking needle-point of white in a sea of absolute black.

 

[Pedophobe]

Only the best, brightest, most well adjusted neurotypical and service oriented minds are found here!

 

[Jershua Coomer Troon]

Canadians who get annexed should have the leaf of David in their id to demark them from the voter roll

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Damn, it feels good to have a penis...