random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I fit most of the Asperger's criteria; I would sit inside and do this for fun on a perfectly sunny day.

Who musters this much hate and bile for daylight savings time? Surely not a dying man for whom time itself, ironically, is very precious?

I uh... I really don't know what to do with that information. But I appreciate you telling me.

Do they really think food comes from grocery stores? (Yes)

It just gets worse as time goes by.

I mean perpetual virgins? That's got to be dull after a while. But now you can see their bones? Fuck that shit.

The Poors are saying she's "redefining beauty" and the rest of us can see the emperor has a birth defect.

I hate when they call themselves "pedophile hunters" and then they don't kill the pedophile. Why even call yourself a hunter at that point?

Under no circumstances must an Indian be allowed to be on the team sent to make first contact with the Aliens.

Maybe I should corner the market on single use robot pussy fleshlights.

 

[30+GameOvers]

"Blacks getting creative" usually ends in disaster.

 

[Hamstirer]

Oh shut the fuck up

 

[a vending machine]

President AOC can't send us to the FEMA camps soon enough

count the rest of our days before America collapses and we are violently slaughtered for wrongthink.

President AOC please just fucking send us to the FEMA camps already.

Calling it right now, child rape will be fully legalized in America by this time next decade.

We are legitimately fucked.

We are never, ever going to make it. This is the end for Kiwi Farms, and for the Internet as a whole.

Guys I don't think America is winning against the goatfuckers

 

[DumbDude43]

Maybe I should corner the market on single use robot pussy fleshlights.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Under no circumstances must an Indian be allowed to be on the team sent to make first contact with the Aliens.

The bear does not eat humans because it has only tasted Indians...

I'm sure there's already places online where if I say I like fantasy novels I get called a Nazi for not reading sci-fi like a proper person.

Alright enough retarded slapfights about bikes and sex toys, we got some good shit today. A moderator of r/mtf was exposed as a convicted child molester. The other mods knew.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I once talked to this guy who was a Brony and wanted to do a Pony version of Three Kingdoms

For free you can just pull the covers over your head and nap.

The "I dare you to eat that" game was a lot more high stakes back in the day.

And that line separates the experts from the people who shouldn't be eating wild mushrooms.

If that makes me a bigot, then call me Archie Bunker and hand me a beer.

I don't believe terminally online transsexuals on Reddit to be a viable source on which to base proposing sweeping radical societal changes.

Hey fuck you, B.Frank is eternal and last word on knockin’boots

"look upon my works, ye transphobes, and coom"

 

[PetiteFeet]

Alone, we are tiny twigs, but bind us together, and we become a mighty FAGGOT.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

The thing that never happens happened again.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Cars all have fake exhaust tips now, not even connected to anything, just a piece of plastic on the bumper. Tough times for car fuckers and electric cars ain't giving them any better prospects

 

[Aunt Carol]

I can't say I agree with a lot of the stuff posted here. I do believe it is important that people have the right to shitpost.

that's a gosling
who the fuck gave her a gosling

Like all other mustelids such as the wolverine, badger, and even the mink, they have a lust for blood and living flesh that's impossible to sate.

I have arguments to support this but they're autistic.

I want my children to be able to laugh at retards the way I have been able.

If you gaze too long into the retard abyss you become retarded yourself.

This is why nerds are all trans now. I blame the iMac.

There was a crew member who from morning to midnight his entire job was to make nothing but hotdogs for drunk entitled middle aged white people and that sounds like hell.

Unlike the above fic, this author starts off with, 'Hey, sluts!'

Then, inshallah, the stadium is filled with nerve gas.

Almost all of the interaction seems to be from random bots, wine aunts, and bots posing as wine aunts.

How hard is it to get laid by sluts on a cruise?

No one dares to ask this.

Old people can be slutty.

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Doubt single women browsing the KF would be anywhere near meeting that but oh well. Not hating on any chonker groypereses, just want to be able to lift you and I'm not that strong (skill issue).

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Ethan Ralph loves niggers. He grew up in a nigger majority county. He listens to nigger music, does everything like a nigger. He has nigger in every cell of his body and all of his functioning synapses are on full blast nigger.

this shit is so gay and the wrestlers are so fake, it would be less gay if they just started having gay sex in the ring

 

[a kiwifarms user]

imagine being too retarded for /pol/.

 

[indomitable snowman]

The Russian Empire and its emperor fully endorses this site and it will protect it for such threats to freedom of speech.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Truly the only way to end organized harassment is to get together as a group and bully people and their families off the internet

 

[Dr. Butt]

I have a SanctionedSuicide dot com account but its to maintain access not actually kill myself.

 

[CansOfCant]

I feel like these(Kiwi Farmers) are the Nazis Hitler would have been ashamed of.

(Quoted from Fatrick's nemesis, unapolagetically_jackie)

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

The biggest lolcow is Null.

 

[Meat Target]

Our intact dongs will blot out the sun (no homo)