I’m officially ONE YEAR post op phalloplasty!
Prepare for my cheesy little speech lol I’ve always imagined the day I’d be “done” with my medical transition so I’m feeling sentimental
This journey has definitely been so much different and even more rewarding than my other transition steps! There has been a few frustrations and crazy times that are behind me, and now I’m finally purely vibing and connecting more and more every day with a body that feels like home and more worth connecting with!
For every step in my transition.. one year has always felt special. It means I’ve lived as myself with the way each individual step has helped me be for every holiday, birthday, and significant annual event there is for the first time. It’s like being a grown adult gaining sentience one year, when everything was just empty and passing by before. It makes me wonder if I’ll always remember hitting that one year mark, or if it will be happily drowned out in the many years to come like my other milestones have. Either way, I’m happy to have made it here! My journey is over in terms of surgical procedures. That could change one day, or not. For now I’m more than happy though. It’s exciting to look forward to new experiences I haven’t even thought of yet. I get to have that feeling for the rest of my life like any other person now without the dysphoria and guilt eating away at me in the back of my mind. There’s a bittersweetness to all this, as privileged as that may sound… This transitional chapter feels over now after years of it being on my mind a majority of the time. There’s not really anything left to think about besides medical tattooing in the far future but I may not even end up doing that. Now I finally get to take that “trans elder” role in my mind that I always admired as a troubled trans kid.. And while the title’s completely non-official and self assigned, I really find joy in offering resources and info to people earlier on in their journey like others once did for me when I’m able to. It definitely fills that space in my heart and mind that feels.. almost pushed away from the trans community.. now that I’m “done”. It makes me feel like I still have a worthy place in this space I’ve been a part of for so long, and I don’t want to let it go.. Even though there were times in my earlier transition where all I wanted was to be cis. It’s okay to feel that way of course, but personally I’ve found much more comfort and joy in embracing my transness, and I was only able to truly do that after having phallo.
I love being trans and I love myself and all the other trans people who are forced to fight twice as hard for what everyone else is born already having. A lot of the struggles we have, are only known to us, because no one asks and no one listens.
Our community is among the strongest and most tight knit because despite many differences among a large umbrella of beings.. We all recognize we live in the same unaccepting and unforgiving world and that we need to make happiness more accessible!
AMA about my surgeries or anything related to that as always! But please check previous posts I’ve made to see if I’ve already answered it!
Thank you to everyone here in this space! This has been an incredible resource since I very first started seriously looking into phallo and I very much appreciate that
