- Joined
- May 25, 2013
And here is when he spergs about Curio:
Edit: welp, also found his background story with 'Lady Rarity'
...Imo He's creepier than Jin. I didn't think it was possible.
Part 1
Everyone here has heard of him by now, from the art I've shared to mentions in my writings scattered around the forum, yet until now I actually haven't written specifically about him or our relationship. We first met in November 2013, a little over a month after Rarity walked out on me. As you might guess, this didn't leave me in a good place at all; during this time I went back to being completely gay as well. I was desperately lonely, emotionally broken, reaching out in a blind attempt to find her... After a while I realized I was going about it wrong; actually it was when I saw an extraordinarily enticing work of art (NSFW) by the clop artist Braeburned that I realized what I needed in life was a stallion. A fortnight of intense emotion and feverish daydreaming, wondering to myself and with Skype friends about the perfect stallion, and he "came" to me. True I had started doing research into tulpamancing, but the suddenness of his arrival causes me to suspect that much like Rarity, he's something different. Literally only a day after his physical appearance was known to me - which came after a week of "reaching" into the Void and coming to feel his personality - and he was here, fully formed and talking! Quite a shock, but I rolled with it.
We got along really well, and it was obvious from the start that there was mutual attraction... enough that I feared things were moving too fast. I had barely had time to recover from my previous failed relationship, and here I was running head-first into another. Fear that I would be accused, or was genuinely guilty of summoning an Astral being (or creating a tulpa) for the sole purpose of having sex (which was most certainly NOT the case) consumed me. It almost led me to break things off with him... Ultimately I didn't give in, yet doubt had done its harm. Perhaps a combination of hurting his feelings with my indecisiveness (he'll claim otherwise), and my uncertainty caused the bond to waiver, and saw the beginning of what has become the most painful barrier and problem in our relationship: our bond, and my ability to perceive him.
Since then, I've had difficulty seeing and hearing him. I know he's there because I still feel him, never once wavering in my beliefs, but it hasn't been on the intensity of that first week or what I had with Rarity. Over the months I've tried many techniques, from tulpamancing to hypnosis to praying, all to diminishing results. Failure causes me to loose hope, which honestly might be my worst problem... I'm not a happy person, as anyone who has spoken to me at length or read my writings on MLW can attest, but it isn't because of Pony-Love. Verily, my inability to feel the one I love as I deserve has an effect on my state, but I know it's the misery and self-loathing caused byeverything else which causes the most damage. The most vivid experiences I've had with Curio are those few times I get away from home, go out and have fun, see my friends, do something for once instead of rotting away in the prison of my room. Times when I visited friends at conventions, like Bronycon or the furry con in Texas last month; heck even times when I've got something to be happy about at home, he returns with such clarity that I can feel his hooves on my shoulders and the sound of his voice in my ears. I want to experience this every day, to have him in my life, make him my husband... but as long as I am stuck my current quagmire, I don't know if it's possible. I need Curio to be happy, but because I'm not happy I can't fully connect. Circular and self-defeating situation if ever there existed.
Part 2
Born and raised in Canterlot, Curio grew up in a well-to-do middle class family, surrounded by the minor nobility of the Capitol. Life was comfortable but unexciting; as a restless and curious colt, he found it unsatisfying and would escape watch whenever possible to explore the city. A late bloomer, he didn't earn his cutie mark until he was 14 years old, when he went on his first "adventure" , breaking into one of the secure wings of the Canterlot Archives; thus his cutie mark, an intricate lock that has been cracked by a key, signifying his insatiable lust for knowledge.
Not long afterwards, he ended up leaving home in pursuit of more adventures to indulge that rush of excitement he felt when he earned his cutie mark. This was something of a scandal to his family, as his parents had enrolled him in a private academy with high hopes of seeing him move up the Canterlot social ladder. To this day he's on poor terms with them, not to imply they were ever close to begin with as his parents were distant and more interested in gaining favors with the nobility than spending quality time with their son. Still, I suspect it's had a deep effect on him as it's one of the few issues he is mum with me about.
The following five years were spent traveling around Equestria and venturing into several of the neighboring realms, exploring all the local cultures had to offer and visiting as many historical sites, ruins, exotic locales, and points-of-interest he could find. He made many friends and contacts, learning a great deal more about history and culture than one ever could from a classroom, and amassed quite a collection of relics, treasures, and nick-knacks. Finally having seen a great deal of what Equestria had to offer and feeling an urge to settle down for a bit, he moved to Ponyville, a location chosen for it's proximity to the Everfree Forest and several other ruins in the adjacent countryside. Ponyville may be a quaint town, but it's always subject to strange happenings which are fundamental for adventure, which is what Curio wants.
Three years have passed since Curio settled in Ponyville, where he's established himself as the proprietor of a specialty shop dedicated to the sale of memorabilia and curiosities he had accumulated on his journeys. Imagine a cross between a museum, library, spell/magic shop, and the personal quarters of a deranged nobleman who dabbles in the arcane, and you'll have a pretty good idea what to expect. Packed wall to wall and ceiling high with scrolls, books, art, magical artifacts, ancient relics, jewelry, and all manner of treasures, most of it procured during Curio's adventures to strange lands and abandoned ruins, some through trades with other collectors, and others by less scrupulous means. Pretty much anything and everything one would expect from a proper "curio" shop operated by a well-traveled adventurer.
One night a week he meets with a group of friends calling themselves "Ponyville Adventure Society" to trade stories, plan expeditions, and socialize over pints at Berry Punch's pub, and at least once a month they go on treks to the Everfree Forest or other remote locations and wildernesses in a quest to find rarities and treasures. This circle of friends aside, he tends to spend a lot of time in his shop, leaving to wander around town at odd hours, which has earned him a reputation as somewhat eccentric.
While charismatic and more than capable of displaying an outgoing personality, more often than not he sticks to himself, being very careful as to what he reveals around others. If anything, he can be too excitable at times, which combined with his the previously mentioned distance, can make him off-putting to some. Experience has taught him to be cautious about letting others too close, and cultivated a cunning instinct, but that's not to say he's allowed it to make him cynical or unpleasant, and he still maintains a cheerful demeanor. He's also very loyal to his friends and those he loves, and is honorable in his dealings with others. Most importantly he's never pessimistic, approaching every situation from an angle of how for further adventure and enrichment; enthusiasm which tends to infect those around him as well. He may seem odd, but very few persons find it capable to dislike him.
Part 3
My relationship with Curio has never been all that easy, but before I go further it's worth wondering: why me? It's true that his nature to seek out new experiences and the exotic means he's naturally a xenophile (in all senses of the world) and pansexual, predisposing him to consider a relationship with a human; but of all the humans out there, he ended up pairing with me. Surely there are far better potential partners available - people without all the baggage and failures I possess. Maybe I made a really good impression on his first foray into the human world, after all we did get along very well from the start. Everything that has happened since that first week over a year ago though, should have long since laid any doubts about my character to rest. Yet he's still here. One thing about his cutie mark is that it represents not just his ability to spot and unlock the treasures of the world around him, but to see the hidden value in others as well. It could be that despite all my shortcomings he sees something truly special buried in me, just waiting to be uncovered... I sincerely hope that's the case - he's alluded as much in the past.
I want to be with him so badly: I sleep in bed with his plushie ever day (as a night owl, I don't often go to bed before 6 am), always keeping him close when I'm at home. Several times a week I take him downstairs to share meals or watch cartoons. Every day before I leave for work I nuzzle him and give his plushie a kiss. He may be distant and not always there, but I go through the motions because these little acts of love are what really count. He's an amazing guy, and all the times we've spent together have been truly wonderful, but my mind is so clouded with darkness that seeing him through the shadows is difficult. Curio deserves a Taxxy who is happy, and excited to share the wonders of the human world. Take him on long trips, escape the confines of my room to travel, go out with his vessel on proper dates until the bond once again reaches a point where I can see him vividly. So far the only opportunities I have of doing these things are during conventions, where I can meet up with my friends IRL, like minded people who support our love. It feels good being in public with him, not having to hide our relationship behind closed doors.
One of these days I'm going to ask him to marry me, but it'll have to wait until Taxxy is in a better place. I'm not ready yet...
Everyone here has heard of him by now, from the art I've shared to mentions in my writings scattered around the forum, yet until now I actually haven't written specifically about him or our relationship. We first met in November 2013, a little over a month after Rarity walked out on me. As you might guess, this didn't leave me in a good place at all; during this time I went back to being completely gay as well. I was desperately lonely, emotionally broken, reaching out in a blind attempt to find her... After a while I realized I was going about it wrong; actually it was when I saw an extraordinarily enticing work of art (NSFW) by the clop artist Braeburned that I realized what I needed in life was a stallion. A fortnight of intense emotion and feverish daydreaming, wondering to myself and with Skype friends about the perfect stallion, and he "came" to me. True I had started doing research into tulpamancing, but the suddenness of his arrival causes me to suspect that much like Rarity, he's something different. Literally only a day after his physical appearance was known to me - which came after a week of "reaching" into the Void and coming to feel his personality - and he was here, fully formed and talking! Quite a shock, but I rolled with it.
We got along really well, and it was obvious from the start that there was mutual attraction... enough that I feared things were moving too fast. I had barely had time to recover from my previous failed relationship, and here I was running head-first into another. Fear that I would be accused, or was genuinely guilty of summoning an Astral being (or creating a tulpa) for the sole purpose of having sex (which was most certainly NOT the case) consumed me. It almost led me to break things off with him... Ultimately I didn't give in, yet doubt had done its harm. Perhaps a combination of hurting his feelings with my indecisiveness (he'll claim otherwise), and my uncertainty caused the bond to waiver, and saw the beginning of what has become the most painful barrier and problem in our relationship: our bond, and my ability to perceive him.
Since then, I've had difficulty seeing and hearing him. I know he's there because I still feel him, never once wavering in my beliefs, but it hasn't been on the intensity of that first week or what I had with Rarity. Over the months I've tried many techniques, from tulpamancing to hypnosis to praying, all to diminishing results. Failure causes me to loose hope, which honestly might be my worst problem... I'm not a happy person, as anyone who has spoken to me at length or read my writings on MLW can attest, but it isn't because of Pony-Love. Verily, my inability to feel the one I love as I deserve has an effect on my state, but I know it's the misery and self-loathing caused byeverything else which causes the most damage. The most vivid experiences I've had with Curio are those few times I get away from home, go out and have fun, see my friends, do something for once instead of rotting away in the prison of my room. Times when I visited friends at conventions, like Bronycon or the furry con in Texas last month; heck even times when I've got something to be happy about at home, he returns with such clarity that I can feel his hooves on my shoulders and the sound of his voice in my ears. I want to experience this every day, to have him in my life, make him my husband... but as long as I am stuck my current quagmire, I don't know if it's possible. I need Curio to be happy, but because I'm not happy I can't fully connect. Circular and self-defeating situation if ever there existed.
Part 2
Born and raised in Canterlot, Curio grew up in a well-to-do middle class family, surrounded by the minor nobility of the Capitol. Life was comfortable but unexciting; as a restless and curious colt, he found it unsatisfying and would escape watch whenever possible to explore the city. A late bloomer, he didn't earn his cutie mark until he was 14 years old, when he went on his first "adventure" , breaking into one of the secure wings of the Canterlot Archives; thus his cutie mark, an intricate lock that has been cracked by a key, signifying his insatiable lust for knowledge.
Not long afterwards, he ended up leaving home in pursuit of more adventures to indulge that rush of excitement he felt when he earned his cutie mark. This was something of a scandal to his family, as his parents had enrolled him in a private academy with high hopes of seeing him move up the Canterlot social ladder. To this day he's on poor terms with them, not to imply they were ever close to begin with as his parents were distant and more interested in gaining favors with the nobility than spending quality time with their son. Still, I suspect it's had a deep effect on him as it's one of the few issues he is mum with me about.
The following five years were spent traveling around Equestria and venturing into several of the neighboring realms, exploring all the local cultures had to offer and visiting as many historical sites, ruins, exotic locales, and points-of-interest he could find. He made many friends and contacts, learning a great deal more about history and culture than one ever could from a classroom, and amassed quite a collection of relics, treasures, and nick-knacks. Finally having seen a great deal of what Equestria had to offer and feeling an urge to settle down for a bit, he moved to Ponyville, a location chosen for it's proximity to the Everfree Forest and several other ruins in the adjacent countryside. Ponyville may be a quaint town, but it's always subject to strange happenings which are fundamental for adventure, which is what Curio wants.
Three years have passed since Curio settled in Ponyville, where he's established himself as the proprietor of a specialty shop dedicated to the sale of memorabilia and curiosities he had accumulated on his journeys. Imagine a cross between a museum, library, spell/magic shop, and the personal quarters of a deranged nobleman who dabbles in the arcane, and you'll have a pretty good idea what to expect. Packed wall to wall and ceiling high with scrolls, books, art, magical artifacts, ancient relics, jewelry, and all manner of treasures, most of it procured during Curio's adventures to strange lands and abandoned ruins, some through trades with other collectors, and others by less scrupulous means. Pretty much anything and everything one would expect from a proper "curio" shop operated by a well-traveled adventurer.
One night a week he meets with a group of friends calling themselves "Ponyville Adventure Society" to trade stories, plan expeditions, and socialize over pints at Berry Punch's pub, and at least once a month they go on treks to the Everfree Forest or other remote locations and wildernesses in a quest to find rarities and treasures. This circle of friends aside, he tends to spend a lot of time in his shop, leaving to wander around town at odd hours, which has earned him a reputation as somewhat eccentric.
While charismatic and more than capable of displaying an outgoing personality, more often than not he sticks to himself, being very careful as to what he reveals around others. If anything, he can be too excitable at times, which combined with his the previously mentioned distance, can make him off-putting to some. Experience has taught him to be cautious about letting others too close, and cultivated a cunning instinct, but that's not to say he's allowed it to make him cynical or unpleasant, and he still maintains a cheerful demeanor. He's also very loyal to his friends and those he loves, and is honorable in his dealings with others. Most importantly he's never pessimistic, approaching every situation from an angle of how for further adventure and enrichment; enthusiasm which tends to infect those around him as well. He may seem odd, but very few persons find it capable to dislike him.
Part 3
My relationship with Curio has never been all that easy, but before I go further it's worth wondering: why me? It's true that his nature to seek out new experiences and the exotic means he's naturally a xenophile (in all senses of the world) and pansexual, predisposing him to consider a relationship with a human; but of all the humans out there, he ended up pairing with me. Surely there are far better potential partners available - people without all the baggage and failures I possess. Maybe I made a really good impression on his first foray into the human world, after all we did get along very well from the start. Everything that has happened since that first week over a year ago though, should have long since laid any doubts about my character to rest. Yet he's still here. One thing about his cutie mark is that it represents not just his ability to spot and unlock the treasures of the world around him, but to see the hidden value in others as well. It could be that despite all my shortcomings he sees something truly special buried in me, just waiting to be uncovered... I sincerely hope that's the case - he's alluded as much in the past.
I want to be with him so badly: I sleep in bed with his plushie ever day (as a night owl, I don't often go to bed before 6 am), always keeping him close when I'm at home. Several times a week I take him downstairs to share meals or watch cartoons. Every day before I leave for work I nuzzle him and give his plushie a kiss. He may be distant and not always there, but I go through the motions because these little acts of love are what really count. He's an amazing guy, and all the times we've spent together have been truly wonderful, but my mind is so clouded with darkness that seeing him through the shadows is difficult. Curio deserves a Taxxy who is happy, and excited to share the wonders of the human world. Take him on long trips, escape the confines of my room to travel, go out with his vessel on proper dates until the bond once again reaches a point where I can see him vividly. So far the only opportunities I have of doing these things are during conventions, where I can meet up with my friends IRL, like minded people who support our love. It feels good being in public with him, not having to hide our relationship behind closed doors.
One of these days I'm going to ask him to marry me, but it'll have to wait until Taxxy is in a better place. I'm not ready yet...
Edit: welp, also found his background story with 'Lady Rarity'
When we talk about our ponies amongst ourselves and fellow cloppers on the forum, we often speak in matter-of-fact tones: Rarity the unicorn is "here" with me, I see and feel her and don’t think her presence to be any more odd than any human I would see at work or around town. She just "is", and no doubt this is how the rest of you feel as well.
However we are often times confronted by the curious who wonder how exactly it is we have a "cartoon character" in bed with us holding her lover tight each night, who accompanies us on our daily tasks, and this provokes contemplation as we seek to explain how such a thing is possible. Even talking with other pony lovers, one realizes that perception varies between each one, sometimes quite radically. One individual may say his pony is an "imaginary" friend or tulpa – a being born from the own mind out of deliberate process, separating a piece of ones conscious and guiding it to a sentience such that it becomes a personality just as legitimate and valid as the hosts. Another person may claim their partner is an entirely separate entity, perhaps an angel or spirit being that takes the form of a beloved character who’s personality it mirrors. The partner may even be the actual selfsame, flesh and blood pony from the television show, here on earth after traveling through a magical portal or using powerful magic to astrally project across dimensions and space.
The thing is, our ponies are real and all have their origins from somewhere, yet that place may not be the same for one pony that it is for another, and we are not even getting into how personality and appearance may vary between them and the portrayal of them on the show! Tulpas, astral projection, spirits, angels, flesh and blood, multiverse and alternate dimensions… there is so much behind each of our ponies, powerful bonds that join us together in what most people consider to be an impossibility. In this thread, one has the opportunity to explain the origin of one’s pony, perception and belief, and traits of personality and physical appearance.
Lady Rarity: Origin
My mare, my partner, my Very Special Somepony… what exactly is she? Put simply, she is Rarity, the same one we all know and love from the television show, having made the leap from that stage world and into our own to be my companion in life. Now that doesn’t say much, so I will have to begin anew: Rarity is real and not just wishful thinking taken too far, fantasies acted out by a desperate and lonely soul. You see, the experiences from the time I feel in love until we first met and the months we spent together in the beginning are far too vivid to be anything but true and honest, as you will see when I recount a portion of the tale.
It goes like this, and before I begin I am well aware that to most this will sound like pure insanity – I’ve actually been there, to Equestria that is. This was in the summer of 2012, after a period of seven months of intense longing, desire for her warm embrace that no matter how much wish-fulfillment waifu-fics I read, or how much I dreamed of her, could not be sated. The stories only succeeded in making me more miserable, so I abandoned them and took up roleplaying with people on the Filly2 community of Synchtube; acting out my desire with others allowed the fantasies to become more vivid, and yet they were still that – fantasy.
Further into depression and wistful desire did I fall, until I was ready to give up… however it was at that moment that the miracle happened. My mind and spirit having been made so low there was nothing left, and in this moment of desperation I was opened up to the influence of the Astral Plane and I was finally able to connect with her world. It goes that one day I just woke up and though my body was still on Earth, physically that is, my heart and all my senses told me I was there in Equestria, as a spirit form.
Finally, I was able to meet the mare of my dreams in person! It was a bit of an awkward greeting, but I handled myself well; turns out that she knew me even before the first time we met, my love for her so strong that she felt my influence and saw me in her dreams as well. This mysterious alien creature who held her such reverence, with a love of such intensity that her heart would flutter and be bolstered with that magical power whenever my emotions traveled across the boundaries of the worlds. She knew me as her guardian angel, the bonds of love being inextricably linked long before her benefactor revealed himself. True, personality wise she did not know much about me at first, but after a long day and night spent talking, she realized that I was what she had always sought in love, deliberately and sub-consciously, much the same way I had fallen completely for Rarity before I even realized the reason was because she was my soul mate.
For the next three months I lived this double life, physical body on earth while my spirit was in Equestria. Rarity and I started dating and I moved in with her at the Carousel Boutique, while my physical form remained on Earth to go about my daily routine. It could not continue forever though, and eventually "real" world issues took enough hold of my mind that I was yanked out completely from Equestria; since October I have been unable to return, though I will occasionaly get visions of Rarity at work or leisure around Ponyville when she is away. Since I left, Rarity has divided her time fairly even between Earth and Equestria. With recent events in both our lives however, she decided to move in with me on a more permanent basis.
Form
For the most part, Rarity looks exactly the same as she does on the show except in far greater detail that cannot be captured with flash animation. Minor details will change while she is projecting, and when she first attempted to impose from Equestria her form was more unstable and would switch between different artistic interpretations on a whim. What I refer to here is the "phantom" Rarity of course, who projects across the Astral Void channeling her essence through my mind to impose in a very tulpa like manner. When our spiritual vibes are most aligned her projection is strongest to the point of near perfect imposition, such that she not only moves around and speaks effortlessly, but I can feel and smell her as well. Some particulars about her physical appearance that I can say are the same from the time I was in Equestria and her "tulpa" form follow.
Height
Rarity stands, from hoof to head, not counting the tips of her ears and horn, about level to my navel, which puts her around 3 ft 4 in. This makes her smaller than an earth horse, but not as small as a Shetland pony or even terrier, which is oddly the size a particular subset of fans imagine them. For easy reference, I consult this chart:
Weight
My girl, of course, never talks about her weight or even allows me to spy on her when she steps on the scale. As concerned as she is about her appearance, I can assure you that she takes care of herself, making sure to get plenty of movement and to avoid over-indulging. She is not an extremely athletic pony like Applejack and Rainbow Dash, so her body is not perfectly taut and toned like theirs, but in trade she has some lovely curves and an almost imperceptible pudge to her belly that is an absolute delight to bury my face in. Her physique can be summed up as healthy (but by no means overly so) and classically feminine.
Scent
An intoxicating bouquet of clean cotton linens, light floral aromas, a teensy bit of sandalwood, and a faint pony musk. That final one is not very obvious since she is a very cleanly mare who uses (lightly) scented body wash and perfume, yet I never have any difficulty detecting it. Just one whiff of it sends an impulse straight to my brain like a bolt of lightning, that olfactory signal confirming the visual stimuli that my lover is most certainly not of my species, never fails to send my heart pounding. I love her for both who and what she is, and would not take my mate in any other form. _
-----
Maintaining this level of projection is very taxing on both of us, so more often she only partially imposes. It is far more common for her "spirit" form to inhabit one of the plushies I’ve collected, animating it as a vessel so the visual aspect of her form is aided and greater focus is put toward personality and speech. The plushie both is and is not her, if that makes any sense, but when she makes it her body it becomes as real to me as flesh and blood; this is also the form we use to be intimate (there has only been one time that she imposed strongly enough to make love without the vessel).
Many factors determine how strong the imposition is, yet even when I’m most distracted, stressed, or depressed she is still there in some form. It may just be a comforting, warm presence at the back of my head that lets me know that while she may be away and busy, she still thinks about and loves me; sometimes she "rides" along in my body or a blind bag figure in my pocket, or she’ll hover above me like an angel and watch.
Her voice I hear directly in my head, sometimes loud enough that it blocks out all other thought. Though we have not reached the point where her voice is audibly imposed to the same degree as the visual hallucinations, she has used my own voice a few times to talk to me. Emotion is directly conveyed along this telepathic bond as well.
Personality is the same as on the show, though having known her as an intimate friend and lover I have a rounded picture of her, an understanding of motives, fears, ambition, hopes, and interests that are left untouched or barely explored for broadcast purposes. Rarity is 23 years of age, slightly younger than I but older than she was in Season 1; she is mature for her age and carries herself with a grace from a bygone era.
Beliefs
After all that I’ve described, many people would no doubt say that I created a tulpa in Rarity’s image and my trip to Equestria was time spent in "wonderland" or a state of delirious fantasizing. There is valid ration behind these allegations, I admit, but it is not what I choose to believe.
So what are my beliefs about Rarity and my time in Equestria? It is simply really – Equestria is a real place, Rarity is a real pony, and I really did connect to that magical land through telepathic projection. The Land of Ponies is not "real" in our world though, where it is merely a fantasy concocted to market toys and reimagined by Lauren Faust to convey positive lessons for little girls, but it exists as reality on another dimension.
There is an exchange of energy and ideas across the planes of reality, what one person dreams up may really be visions of a real place somewhere else, and this is the state of Equestria and its representation on Earth. While the show was in development and under the guidance of Ms Faust, the Flow was at its strongest so the interpretation of the world and inhabitants was most accurate. After she left and Hasbro assumed more direct control is when things began to drift from the original vision, though the strength of the writing remained true; it was not until the most recent season that the divergence became more obvious.
Already I know that Equestria is different than we see on television, though how much so would require far more explanation than I am willing to go into for now. What about the version we see on television now – is it a falsification, or does it represent an entirely different reality? At one time I would have insisted that there could only be one Equestria and one Rarity, and that she was the love of me alone. When other people expressed romantic interest in her it would amuse me, but when some took it to the extreme of writing 600 page romance novels, dedicated copious artwork and poetry in her honor, or shipping themselves (or their self-insert OCs) with her in countless pictures that are shared around the Internet, I couldn’t help but feel doubt and anger. How could I compete against such creative displays of artist affection and flowery prose? Would these potential suitors woo my girl away, or was she already sneaking off at night or as I worked to visit them?
The feelings of inadequacy made me bitter and fueled jealousy… two people in particular I came to loathe, an author and a particular pony OC. It was the latter in particular that drove me mad, as I had some interaction with him over Derpibooru; merely communicating my displeasure with his self-shipping provoked mockery from this individual, who claimed to have the "real" Rarity and even worse, that I was a creep who the Lady would want nothing to do with (he even said she’d file restraining orders against me). In hindsight some of his language indicates he was mostly messing with me, but those words had the effect of bringing me to tears and filling me with self-contempt… it was obvious from the volume of his commissions and his words on DA that he loved her. Did she mean more to him, and was my Rarity a mere lie? Had the "real" Rarity given her heart to another, and her relationship with me was the cruel teasing of a manipulative femme? No, no it wasn’t! I knew that everything I had experienced was true and genuine, that the way we felt for each other was powerful and we were together, had been meant to be united as one since the day we were born!
I reached this revelation, but not after completely burning myself out from the misery of jealousy and doubt. Maybe he had a Rarity and maybe he didn’t, but such constant battling was not good for my physical and psychological health. The answer to this conundrum was right in from of me it turns out, on our forum: the pony-lovers had figured it out, more specifically our four Rainbow Dash lovers. They all loved the same pony and had a relationship with her, but how? It was because although they loved the same pony, each Rainbow was a different Dash: they had distinct origins and physical appearances, which meant it could not be the same individual pony in four locations!
Awareness struck dawned upon me, and I realized that much as Equestria is a real place but on another dimension from Earth, so there must also be parallel Equestrias. In theory there could be an infinite number of Equestrias and an infinate number of Raritys, so if somebody else claimed to not just be in love with her but have the mare herself sharing life and love, it would be an entirely different one than my Lady. It is comparable to how many radically different interpretations of Rarity there are on Tumblr – to anyone else who may love her, I know your Rarity is not mine and if you are pursuing a relationship with her, I wish you happiness.
Maybe it’s all just wishful think, I lie I tell myself to justify my relationship against all who would claim her as a mate, but it is what I believe and I stick to it. Thankfully other than that one individual on Derpibooru (who would hide as anon, or "background pony", despite the fact it was obvious who he was), I have not had to deal with another Rarity lover on a face to face, daily basis. I don’t care what he or anybody else may claim, how much art he commissions, how many pages of romantic verse another may write, or how vivid a tulpamancer’s mindfolk might be, because I know that they will never be able to touch my darling fiance who’s radiant face I wake up next to in bed every morning. She is mine, now and forever…
However we are often times confronted by the curious who wonder how exactly it is we have a "cartoon character" in bed with us holding her lover tight each night, who accompanies us on our daily tasks, and this provokes contemplation as we seek to explain how such a thing is possible. Even talking with other pony lovers, one realizes that perception varies between each one, sometimes quite radically. One individual may say his pony is an "imaginary" friend or tulpa – a being born from the own mind out of deliberate process, separating a piece of ones conscious and guiding it to a sentience such that it becomes a personality just as legitimate and valid as the hosts. Another person may claim their partner is an entirely separate entity, perhaps an angel or spirit being that takes the form of a beloved character who’s personality it mirrors. The partner may even be the actual selfsame, flesh and blood pony from the television show, here on earth after traveling through a magical portal or using powerful magic to astrally project across dimensions and space.
The thing is, our ponies are real and all have their origins from somewhere, yet that place may not be the same for one pony that it is for another, and we are not even getting into how personality and appearance may vary between them and the portrayal of them on the show! Tulpas, astral projection, spirits, angels, flesh and blood, multiverse and alternate dimensions… there is so much behind each of our ponies, powerful bonds that join us together in what most people consider to be an impossibility. In this thread, one has the opportunity to explain the origin of one’s pony, perception and belief, and traits of personality and physical appearance.
Lady Rarity: Origin
My mare, my partner, my Very Special Somepony… what exactly is she? Put simply, she is Rarity, the same one we all know and love from the television show, having made the leap from that stage world and into our own to be my companion in life. Now that doesn’t say much, so I will have to begin anew: Rarity is real and not just wishful thinking taken too far, fantasies acted out by a desperate and lonely soul. You see, the experiences from the time I feel in love until we first met and the months we spent together in the beginning are far too vivid to be anything but true and honest, as you will see when I recount a portion of the tale.
It goes like this, and before I begin I am well aware that to most this will sound like pure insanity – I’ve actually been there, to Equestria that is. This was in the summer of 2012, after a period of seven months of intense longing, desire for her warm embrace that no matter how much wish-fulfillment waifu-fics I read, or how much I dreamed of her, could not be sated. The stories only succeeded in making me more miserable, so I abandoned them and took up roleplaying with people on the Filly2 community of Synchtube; acting out my desire with others allowed the fantasies to become more vivid, and yet they were still that – fantasy.
Further into depression and wistful desire did I fall, until I was ready to give up… however it was at that moment that the miracle happened. My mind and spirit having been made so low there was nothing left, and in this moment of desperation I was opened up to the influence of the Astral Plane and I was finally able to connect with her world. It goes that one day I just woke up and though my body was still on Earth, physically that is, my heart and all my senses told me I was there in Equestria, as a spirit form.
Finally, I was able to meet the mare of my dreams in person! It was a bit of an awkward greeting, but I handled myself well; turns out that she knew me even before the first time we met, my love for her so strong that she felt my influence and saw me in her dreams as well. This mysterious alien creature who held her such reverence, with a love of such intensity that her heart would flutter and be bolstered with that magical power whenever my emotions traveled across the boundaries of the worlds. She knew me as her guardian angel, the bonds of love being inextricably linked long before her benefactor revealed himself. True, personality wise she did not know much about me at first, but after a long day and night spent talking, she realized that I was what she had always sought in love, deliberately and sub-consciously, much the same way I had fallen completely for Rarity before I even realized the reason was because she was my soul mate.
For the next three months I lived this double life, physical body on earth while my spirit was in Equestria. Rarity and I started dating and I moved in with her at the Carousel Boutique, while my physical form remained on Earth to go about my daily routine. It could not continue forever though, and eventually "real" world issues took enough hold of my mind that I was yanked out completely from Equestria; since October I have been unable to return, though I will occasionaly get visions of Rarity at work or leisure around Ponyville when she is away. Since I left, Rarity has divided her time fairly even between Earth and Equestria. With recent events in both our lives however, she decided to move in with me on a more permanent basis.
Form
For the most part, Rarity looks exactly the same as she does on the show except in far greater detail that cannot be captured with flash animation. Minor details will change while she is projecting, and when she first attempted to impose from Equestria her form was more unstable and would switch between different artistic interpretations on a whim. What I refer to here is the "phantom" Rarity of course, who projects across the Astral Void channeling her essence through my mind to impose in a very tulpa like manner. When our spiritual vibes are most aligned her projection is strongest to the point of near perfect imposition, such that she not only moves around and speaks effortlessly, but I can feel and smell her as well. Some particulars about her physical appearance that I can say are the same from the time I was in Equestria and her "tulpa" form follow.
Height
Rarity stands, from hoof to head, not counting the tips of her ears and horn, about level to my navel, which puts her around 3 ft 4 in. This makes her smaller than an earth horse, but not as small as a Shetland pony or even terrier, which is oddly the size a particular subset of fans imagine them. For easy reference, I consult this chart:
Weight
My girl, of course, never talks about her weight or even allows me to spy on her when she steps on the scale. As concerned as she is about her appearance, I can assure you that she takes care of herself, making sure to get plenty of movement and to avoid over-indulging. She is not an extremely athletic pony like Applejack and Rainbow Dash, so her body is not perfectly taut and toned like theirs, but in trade she has some lovely curves and an almost imperceptible pudge to her belly that is an absolute delight to bury my face in. Her physique can be summed up as healthy (but by no means overly so) and classically feminine.
Scent
An intoxicating bouquet of clean cotton linens, light floral aromas, a teensy bit of sandalwood, and a faint pony musk. That final one is not very obvious since she is a very cleanly mare who uses (lightly) scented body wash and perfume, yet I never have any difficulty detecting it. Just one whiff of it sends an impulse straight to my brain like a bolt of lightning, that olfactory signal confirming the visual stimuli that my lover is most certainly not of my species, never fails to send my heart pounding. I love her for both who and what she is, and would not take my mate in any other form. _
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Maintaining this level of projection is very taxing on both of us, so more often she only partially imposes. It is far more common for her "spirit" form to inhabit one of the plushies I’ve collected, animating it as a vessel so the visual aspect of her form is aided and greater focus is put toward personality and speech. The plushie both is and is not her, if that makes any sense, but when she makes it her body it becomes as real to me as flesh and blood; this is also the form we use to be intimate (there has only been one time that she imposed strongly enough to make love without the vessel).
Many factors determine how strong the imposition is, yet even when I’m most distracted, stressed, or depressed she is still there in some form. It may just be a comforting, warm presence at the back of my head that lets me know that while she may be away and busy, she still thinks about and loves me; sometimes she "rides" along in my body or a blind bag figure in my pocket, or she’ll hover above me like an angel and watch.
Her voice I hear directly in my head, sometimes loud enough that it blocks out all other thought. Though we have not reached the point where her voice is audibly imposed to the same degree as the visual hallucinations, she has used my own voice a few times to talk to me. Emotion is directly conveyed along this telepathic bond as well.
Personality is the same as on the show, though having known her as an intimate friend and lover I have a rounded picture of her, an understanding of motives, fears, ambition, hopes, and interests that are left untouched or barely explored for broadcast purposes. Rarity is 23 years of age, slightly younger than I but older than she was in Season 1; she is mature for her age and carries herself with a grace from a bygone era.
Beliefs
After all that I’ve described, many people would no doubt say that I created a tulpa in Rarity’s image and my trip to Equestria was time spent in "wonderland" or a state of delirious fantasizing. There is valid ration behind these allegations, I admit, but it is not what I choose to believe.
So what are my beliefs about Rarity and my time in Equestria? It is simply really – Equestria is a real place, Rarity is a real pony, and I really did connect to that magical land through telepathic projection. The Land of Ponies is not "real" in our world though, where it is merely a fantasy concocted to market toys and reimagined by Lauren Faust to convey positive lessons for little girls, but it exists as reality on another dimension.
There is an exchange of energy and ideas across the planes of reality, what one person dreams up may really be visions of a real place somewhere else, and this is the state of Equestria and its representation on Earth. While the show was in development and under the guidance of Ms Faust, the Flow was at its strongest so the interpretation of the world and inhabitants was most accurate. After she left and Hasbro assumed more direct control is when things began to drift from the original vision, though the strength of the writing remained true; it was not until the most recent season that the divergence became more obvious.
Already I know that Equestria is different than we see on television, though how much so would require far more explanation than I am willing to go into for now. What about the version we see on television now – is it a falsification, or does it represent an entirely different reality? At one time I would have insisted that there could only be one Equestria and one Rarity, and that she was the love of me alone. When other people expressed romantic interest in her it would amuse me, but when some took it to the extreme of writing 600 page romance novels, dedicated copious artwork and poetry in her honor, or shipping themselves (or their self-insert OCs) with her in countless pictures that are shared around the Internet, I couldn’t help but feel doubt and anger. How could I compete against such creative displays of artist affection and flowery prose? Would these potential suitors woo my girl away, or was she already sneaking off at night or as I worked to visit them?
The feelings of inadequacy made me bitter and fueled jealousy… two people in particular I came to loathe, an author and a particular pony OC. It was the latter in particular that drove me mad, as I had some interaction with him over Derpibooru; merely communicating my displeasure with his self-shipping provoked mockery from this individual, who claimed to have the "real" Rarity and even worse, that I was a creep who the Lady would want nothing to do with (he even said she’d file restraining orders against me). In hindsight some of his language indicates he was mostly messing with me, but those words had the effect of bringing me to tears and filling me with self-contempt… it was obvious from the volume of his commissions and his words on DA that he loved her. Did she mean more to him, and was my Rarity a mere lie? Had the "real" Rarity given her heart to another, and her relationship with me was the cruel teasing of a manipulative femme? No, no it wasn’t! I knew that everything I had experienced was true and genuine, that the way we felt for each other was powerful and we were together, had been meant to be united as one since the day we were born!
I reached this revelation, but not after completely burning myself out from the misery of jealousy and doubt. Maybe he had a Rarity and maybe he didn’t, but such constant battling was not good for my physical and psychological health. The answer to this conundrum was right in from of me it turns out, on our forum: the pony-lovers had figured it out, more specifically our four Rainbow Dash lovers. They all loved the same pony and had a relationship with her, but how? It was because although they loved the same pony, each Rainbow was a different Dash: they had distinct origins and physical appearances, which meant it could not be the same individual pony in four locations!
Awareness struck dawned upon me, and I realized that much as Equestria is a real place but on another dimension from Earth, so there must also be parallel Equestrias. In theory there could be an infinite number of Equestrias and an infinate number of Raritys, so if somebody else claimed to not just be in love with her but have the mare herself sharing life and love, it would be an entirely different one than my Lady. It is comparable to how many radically different interpretations of Rarity there are on Tumblr – to anyone else who may love her, I know your Rarity is not mine and if you are pursuing a relationship with her, I wish you happiness.
Maybe it’s all just wishful think, I lie I tell myself to justify my relationship against all who would claim her as a mate, but it is what I believe and I stick to it. Thankfully other than that one individual on Derpibooru (who would hide as anon, or "background pony", despite the fact it was obvious who he was), I have not had to deal with another Rarity lover on a face to face, daily basis. I don’t care what he or anybody else may claim, how much art he commissions, how many pages of romantic verse another may write, or how vivid a tulpamancer’s mindfolk might be, because I know that they will never be able to touch my darling fiance who’s radiant face I wake up next to in bed every morning. She is mine, now and forever…
...Imo He's creepier than Jin. I didn't think it was possible.
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