The General Thread

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The only real jobs I've ever had were working at my hometown gas station and in the Oklahoma oil fields. My ADD made both of those jobs disasterous. Only then they didn't call it ADD, they called it "pea-brained", unless you were einstein and then they'd call it -- "no common sense".
The only reason I wasn't fired from those otherjobs were because of family connections. The guy that owned the gas station owed my father some poker money, and the Oil Well Company serviced my great uncle's oil wells almost exclusively.

For instance, at Hissom's gas station in my hometown of Barnesville Ohio, I almost blew up our town. Back then gas station attendants actually pumped all the gas for customers. One busy Sunday after church had let out, our station was packed with people waiting to fill their cars up for their Sunday drives or whatever they do. A customer who was a friend of mine was in the shitter and his car was blocking the way for other customers to pull in and get their Gas.

I knocked on the shitter door and asked my friend if he'd move his car. He grunted one of those grunts you do when you are really pushing, and said "I can't right now man, could you move it for me... the keys are in it?". So I jumped into his car and moved his car up on the hill.

Now, Barnesville Ohio is in south eastern Ohio where it is extreely hilly. This Gas station was at the bottom of a small valley and was actually quite a bit lower than the road you entered it from. When I pulled the car around I parked it up by the road where it would be out of the way.

I went back down and started pumping gas for other customers. I was spacing out when I heard someone say..."look out!" I looked up and was suprised to see a car heading right towards one of our pumps at a hgh rate of speed. It took me a second to realize that it was the car I'd just parked. It took me another second to realize I did't put it in park.

This car hit the pump so hard it broke a pipe below a safety valve that is supposed to work for just such an occasion. Gas started spraying in the air and showering all of the cars and everyone there. This station didn't have a canopy overhead so gas was free to spray everywhere at once.

People paniced. Everyone started running. Even the people in their cars jumped out of their cars and started running. I just stood their in shock without a clue of what to do. All I knew was that nobody should light a match.

Luckily, the guy I was working with didn't have ADD and he know how to shut the pumps off.

As long as I'm getting this stuff off of my chest, I'll contine.

I went to work in the Oklahoma oil fields one summer since between summers Hissom's Gas station wouldn't hire me back for obvious reasons.

I called my multi-millionarie oil tycoon of a great-uncle to ask if he could help me find a job. At the time Unemployment was over 10% and it was difficult to find any job at all. I was hoping he'd let me intern with him and I'd just follow him around learning how to make millions. Instead, he found me the hardest and nastiest job on the planet. Fixing 15,000ft deep oil wells in Stroud Oklahoma.

My first day on the job a couple of my co-workers came by the 7ft X 7ft motel room I rented for the summer (there aren't apts in Stroud). They picked me up at 6am in one of the company pick-ups and we headed out to the job site.

These were two long haired hippy/red neck dudes that I was sitting in between. They asked me if I smoked "hooters" which in Oklahoma means "marijuana cigarettes" and not "tits". Now, since it's my first day and I want to be cool with my new co-workers I say "yes, for sure!"

So they hand me big bag of weed, I'd say about an once and ask me to roll a "hooter" because the wind is less in the middle. I take this as a test of my coolness so I roll a perfect joint about the exact size of a regular cigarette. They immediately laughed and said ..."that ain't no HOOTER" and the passenger dude ripped it up and quickly rolled a hooter, which turned out to be much larger and much more pregnant looking.

I shouldn't of smoked up my first day on the job. Big mistake, I'd never seen any of this oil well shit in my life and was having big trouble understanding what I was supposed to be doing.


We were pulling 15,000 feet of pipe from an oil well in 25ft sections.
We had these machines that would unscrew the pipe and then we'd lay down that section of pipe in a big organized pile. In the mean time a hydrolic lock held the rest of the pipe up so it didn't fall back down the hole. My job was to release the hydrolic lock after we layed down the pipe and fitted the pipe on the boom to lifted up again. I got the timing wrong and released the lock too early and the remained 500ft of pipe fell down the hole 15,000 feet.

My co-workers immediately started throwing tools.

So the forman tells me that we're going to have to get a special tool and put it on the end of one of the pipes, then we send all of the pipe we've already pulled up back down the hole then back up again. So this immediately has tripled the amount of work needed for the job.

At the end of the day which this day was early because we had to order a special tool we go back to the main office to shower up a before going home. Since this was my first day, I had no idea just how dirty you get in the oil fields. The oil is not only competely covering your lothes but it's in your hair and since it soaks through your clothes it is completely covering your skin. You become competely black. You look like you jumped into a tar pit naked.

Again, since it was my first day I didn't bring an extra change f clothes or even a towel. I couldn't get into my car to go home either because I'd just ruin the interior of the grand tarino station wagon I was borrowing from my Uncle.

So I took a two hour shower to get all of the oil and parafin off of my body using that Goo Joo and Lava soap. I borrowed one of those red hand towels used to check oil with to dry off. Since I didn't have any clothes I figured I'd just hold this red hand towel over my crotch and get in my car and drive up to the motel I'm staying in and walk into the door (it's one of those motels where each room is on the first floor and all of them have an outside door).

So I get in the station wagon and I'm driving up route 99 towards where it intersects with route 66. Right when I'm almost in the intersection the grand torino ran out of gas and I coasted to the middle of the intersection.

Now, I don't know about you, but I've had this nightmare. In the night mare I'd end up at class and then realize that I forgot to get dressed. The rest of the nightmare is spent trying to figure out how to get out of thise situation.

I was now living this nightmare. I was naked sitting in a huge station wagon in the middle of a four lane interection with only a 1 ft square hand towel to my name.

My immediate response was to try and stick my leg out of the car dorr and see if I could move the car at all. I couldn't. My next instinct was to just sit there and let people deal with me. (remember this is before cell phones...today this might not be such a huge problem).

So I'm just going to sit there. Someone will surely help me eventually.
Traffic is now started to react to e being in the middle of the intersection. Traffic is building up in all four directons and there is a lot honking going on.

It crosses my mind just to jump out and streak home, but it's too late for that since there are so many people looking at me. So I just continue with my original strategy of just sitting there.

After a while one of those jacked up monster truck tricked out pick up trucks pulls up behind me. This red neck looking dude with a duck billed header mack truck hat comes up to my door and asks "Everyth'n aw-ight?" to which I respond with "No. I'm out of gas, and I'm naked."
He says, "ya out a gas, and ya neked?". I say "something like that."
He immediately starts laughing and yells to his buddy sitting in the monster truck...."hey Bobby, come here!"...when the guy get's there he says, "This mutha fucka is out a gas, and he's neked!", to which Bobby says, "Nunh unh, no he's not!" so he looks in and starts laughing. The y laugh so hard that eventually they are laying on the hood of my station wagon with their heads in their arms pounding on the hood with laughter.

Eventually they come to their wits and decide to help me. Luckily there is a gas station on the corner of this intersection. So they push my car while I drive and eventually we get the station wagon to where it needs to be in the gas station. I'm so relievied that out of the intersecton that I'm not thinking clearly enough to stop these guys from hoping into their truck and leaving. I simply thank them and they leave.

It suddenly occurs to me that this gas station is not only self serve but it's also the only convient store in town and it's really busy.

So I get out with my 1ft X 1ft red hand towel held at my crotch. I remember thnking that it must look like I have a really bloody wound in my crotch and I'm trying to stop the bleeding.

I'm pumping the gas and trying to stay inconspicuous between the pump and my car and I'm keeping my head down so I don't have to see any who may be pointing and laughing at me. When suddenly I hear someone directly behind me clearning their throat. It was one of those throat clearings that only authority figures can give to get your attention.

When I turned around, there was a local police officer complete with aviator sunglasses and smaking chewing gum.

I tried to explain how I got there, and how it was a mistake for me to be standing there there naked with a red hand towel He didn't react to anything I was saying. He just kept starring at me and smaking his gum.

Finally he just says "We wear clothes in Stroud".

I apologize profusely, and then he says..."Get that naked ass of your's home and I don't ever want to see you out here again without any clothes."

After he left and after I'm done pumping the gas I had to go into the convient store and stand in line to pay for my gas. The laughter was obvious but great attempts were being made to conceil the laughter which only made it louder when people got outside of the store.

The next day at work, when I walked into the garage there were about 50 people standing around laughing about something. They all looked at me and started applauding.
 
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If your aunt marries a man, that makes him your uncle.
If your aunt divorces that man, that makes him her ex-husband.

Questions:
1 - Does that make him your ex-uncle?
2 - If they had children, does that make them your half-cousins?
 
Quantum Diabetes unlocked the buried knowledge of how much I hate It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia memes, on Google and YouTube.

@Spunt To answer your second question, yes, it does. To be specific, it's cognate, if your aunt is your biological aunt, and agnate, if your uncle is your biological uncle.
 
Two very random questions:

If Karen Gillan really didn't need to shave her head for the role of Nebula, do you think this was a subtle signal to Hollywood elites that she was down to do "anything" for a role? Just going by her movie appearances alone, she only had 4 of them before GOTG Vol.1 and they were sparse with three basically projects from her home country. One of the two lead roles in the period required her to be nude. From there, she has had a solid 10-year run of projects that dropped every year. Don't get me wrong, I know we all gotta start somewhere and she's my wife in the next timeline. It just seems like... Hollywood man.

This one is two parts:

If you can't consent to sex while under intoxication, does that mean both drunk parties who are otherwise DTF are both raping and canceling out each other's offense? Similarly, if you masturbate while drunk, is that self-rape?
 
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Det. Frank Washington Esq said:
Two very random questions:

If Karen Gillan really didn't need to shave her head for the role of Nebula, do you think this was a subtle signal to Hollywood elites that she was down to do "anything" for a role? Just going by her movie appearances alone, she only had 4 of them before GOTG Vol.1 and they were sparse with three basically projects from her home country. One of the two lead roles in the period required her to be nude. From there, she has had a solid 10-year run of projects that dropped every year. Don't get me wrong, I know we all gotta start somewhere and she's my wife in the next timeline. It just seems like... Hollywood man.

This one is two parts:

If you can't consent to sex while under intoxication, does that mean both drunk parties who are otherwise DTF are both raping and canceling out each other's offense? Similarly, if you masturbate while drunk, is that self-rape?
Click to expand...
Karen Gillan?! Nude?! Where?! But, back to sort of seriousness, maybe shaving her head was put out there by her, to add some nuance to Nebula. Your second question...? Yeah, I don't get the general attitudes or laws on that, either. But, I think I can work out a resolution to it:

If both people in the drunk hookup were all for it, and neither of them wanted to back out, then it's not rape in my eyes. Unless one of 'em starts doing something the other doesn't like, and doesn't stop, then that could be classed as a type of rape, but that applies smashed or sober. But the consent thing, while drunk, pisses me off, actually, because, apparently, as you pointed out, you legally can't consent to sex while drunk, so, in that case, why do anything fun while drunk?
 
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happy 126,000 Users!
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Wot Zit Too Yah0996 said:
Karen Gillan?! Nude?! Where?! But, back to sort of seriousness, maybe shaving her head was put out there by her, to add some nuance to Nebula. Your second question...? Yeah, I don't get the general attitudes or laws on that, either. But, I think I can work out a resolution to it:

If both people in the drunk hookup were all for it, and neither of them wanted to back out, then it's not rape in my eyes. Unless one of 'em starts doing something the other doesn't like, and doesn't stop, then that could be classed as a type of rape, but that applies smashed or sober. But the consent thing, while drunk, pisses me off, actually, because, apparently, as you pointed out, you legally can't consent to sex while drunk, so, in that case, why do anything fun while drunk?
Click to expand...
The movie is called Not Another Happy Ending (if you haven't found it already). It's not gratuitous, or even sexy nudity. Karen is the goofy pretty girl, so it's played up like that. Just a lot of strategic covering and a butt shot. Again, it was a "proof of concept" to the filmmakers. (I've had my views change on nudity in films in my latter years--sperging I'll spare you from). But I don't think shaving her hair was necessary other than yet another answer to the question "Would you do X for this?" By Endgame they were stuffing her hair into a bald cap. It isn't an impossible makeup technique. Hey, in some ways I get it. You have to stand out, and if you're serious about landing the role, you have to do whatever you think is best, that hopefully doesn't undermine the boundaries you've established well before hand.

If her career slows down and she decides to do an arthouse film where she's arching her back and touching her toes... Hollywood man.
 
I've been on yet another Norm Macdonald binge, and I got to thinking.

Norm had a ton of material about death, and specifically cancer, all through his career. And as it turns out, the dude battled cancer on and off basically his whole life. Not just the last 10 years before his passing. So it brings all those jokes into perspective, right? Right.

So as I was re-listening to his book, it gets to a part where there's a very clear implication that he gets abused in some way as a child by a field hand that worked on his parents farm. The gist of the passage is; he's lead into a shed to see a talking squirrel, and the field hand shuts the door behind them and locks it, leaving them in the darkness and that's all Norm remembers of that day.

And he also talks about how he suffered some sort of lapse in memory as a whole and doesn't remember anything between that incident and multiple years after it.
Hard to just look at that as a dark joke given the cancer business. Harder still to just write it off as a joke when he's actually talked about having a genuine gap in memory from that time in his life. And saying something to the effect of "why would I want to remember if anything bad did happen? What good would that do?".

Idk. It just really made stop and think given what's now known about his Courageous Battle™️ with cancer and how he used humor to cope with his own mortality.
 
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I recently hung out with some friends I have not seen in a long time and It was the most fun I've had in a long time. They moved back closer to where I live and we sat and talked for hours. It was absolutely wonderful. If you have anyone you are meaning to see or haven't seen in a long time who you miss, I would absolutely encourage you do so
 
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Det. Frank Washington Esq said:
Two very random questions:

If Karen Gillan really didn't need to shave her head for the role of Nebula, do you think this was a subtle signal to Hollywood elites that she was down to do "anything" for a role? Just going by her movie appearances alone, she only had 4 of them before GOTG Vol.1 and they were sparse with three basically projects from her home country. One of the two lead roles in the period required her to be nude. From there, she has had a solid 10-year run of projects that dropped every year. Don't get me wrong, I know we all gotta start somewhere and she's my wife in the next timeline. It just seems like... Hollywood man.

This one is two parts:

If you can't consent to sex while under intoxication, does that mean both drunk parties who are otherwise DTF are both raping and canceling out each other's offense? Similarly, if you masturbate while drunk, is that self-rape?
Click to expand...
She needed to try and break into Hollywood properly before she faded out of the limelight from her Doctor Who fame
 
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