US The Onion Says It Has Bought Infowars, Alex Jones’s Site, Out of Bankruptcy - The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.

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The Onion, a satirical publication that skewers newsmakers and current events, said on Thursday that it had won a bankruptcy auction to acquire Infowars, a website founded and operated by the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones.

The Onion said that the bid was sanctioned by the families of the victims of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, who in 2022 won a $1.4 billion defamation lawsuit against Mr. Jones and his company, Free Speech Systems.

Everytown for Gun Safety, a nonprofit dedicated to ending gun violence that was founded in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook shooting, will advertise on a relaunched version of the site under The Onion.

The publication plans to reintroduce Infowars in January as a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” like Mr. Jones who traffic in misinformation and health supplements, Ben Collins, the chief executive of The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron, said in an interview.

Family members of the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting, which claimed the lives of 20 first graders and six educators, sued Mr. Jones in Connecticut Superior Court in 2018 after he spread the baseless claim that the rampage was a fabricated pretext for confiscating Americans’ firearms.

The Onion declined to disclose the price it paid for Infowars and its assets, including its production studio and diet supplement business. Mr. Jones could not immediately be reached for comment, but he said on the social media platform X this week that he planned to continue producing his online program, “The Alex Jones Show,” until he was forced to stop.

In September, a Houston judge ruled that Infowars and other assets owned by Free Speech Systems could be auctioned off in bankruptcy to compensate Mr. Jones’s creditors, which include the families of the Sandy Hook victims. Mr. Jones declared bankruptcy in 2022 as the Sandy Hook case made its way to court.

Mr. Collins said that he was informed late Wednesday by the trustee in charge of the bankruptcy auction that The Onion’s bid had prevailed. In a video posted online Thursday, Mr. Jones said that his lawyers had been told by the trustee about the sale to The Onion.

“We thought this would be a hilarious joke,” Mr. Collins said. “This is going to be our answer to this no-guardrails world where there are no gatekeepers and everything’s kind of insane.”

Mr. Collins declined to disclose the value of the advertising deal with Everytown but said that it was a multiyear agreement that would include banner advertisements and sponsored articles on the site, which will be redesigned to fit its new editorial direction.

While the alliance between Everytown and The Onion may seem like an odd fit, the two organizations share an interest in curbing gun violence, said John Feinblatt, president of Everytown. Mr. Feinblatt said that mission was underscored with depressing regularity in the aftermath of mass shootings, when The Onion goes viral with its oft-shared headline: “‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens.”

“This was an opportunity for us to give The Onion the facts, the storytelling, the data and the research that’s at our fingertips,” Mr. Feinblatt said. “And for them to give us the creativity of how to turn all of that information into new messaging to a new audience.”

Mr. Collins said that the relaunched Infowars might publish its own satirical stories that underscored the epidemic of gun violence in America in addition to sponsored content from Everytown.

Chris Mattei, a lawyer for the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting, said in a statement that taking possession of Infowars amounted to accountability for “Alex Jones and his corrupt business.”

“By divesting Jones of Infowars’ assets, the families and the team at The Onion have done a public service and will meaningfully hinder Jones’s ability to do more harm,” Mr. Mattei said.

Mr. Collins said The Onion began contemplating a bid for Infowars this summer, when he read online that it was going to be auctioned off. The publication’s leadership team saw an opportunity to play a very funny, very public joke on Mr. Jones if things broke their way.

In early fall, Mr. Collins reached out to the lawyers for the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings, whom he knew from his days as a reporter covering misinformation at NBC News. The families expressed support for The Onion’s bid, Mr. Collins said.

“The dissolution of Alex Jones’s assets and the death of Infowars is the justice we have long awaited and fought for,” Robbie Parker, whose daughter Emilie was killed in the Sandy Hook shooting, said Thursday in a statement.

The Onion’s plan is to relaunch Infowars next year with an approach reminiscent of Clickhole, The Onion’s sister site that poked fun at “listicles” from BuzzFeed and other purveyors of viral content.

Mr. Collins declined to provide financial details for The Onion, which is privately held, but he said that the company’s relaunched print edition had garnered “an arena” full of subscribers, helping finance the company’s bid for Infowars. Global Tetrahedron is backed by Jeff Lawson, a co-founder of the tech company Twilio.

Mr. Collins said that the families of the victims were supportive of The Onion’s bid because it would put an end to Mr. Jones’s control over the site, which has been a front of misinformation for years. He said they were also supportive of using humor as a tool for raising awareness about gun violence in America.

“They’re all human beings with senses of humor who want fun things to happen and want good things to take place in their lives,” Mr. Collins said. “They want to be part of something good and positive too.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/14/business/media/alex-jones-infowars-the-onion.html (Archive)
 
Oh, I can't wait for the terribly unfunny "humor" that The Onion is going to put out under the Infowars name. They've already became a bunch of smug, pretentious assholes and a shell of their former selves. This is going to be unbelievably cringe. I can't wait for it to come crashing down. Have we ever seen a bigger waste of money ???

Per Section 363 of US bankruptcy law, judges usually have a fiduciary duty required by law to accept the highest public auction offer in "good faith" to settle outstanding debts of the debtor. Considering the terms of the sale haven't been disclosed, I am calling judicial and legal fuckery in the highest order. If it was indeed a "private" sale, we may never know the details. Either way, considering that the Sandy Hook  grifters families are involved, I can guarantee they're letting the sale go through at a firesale price out of spite and will keep pursuing Alex Jones and his decendents until the heat death of the universe.
Judge blocked it.
 
Wow, this is the funniest thing on The Onion in about 20 years!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't putting up their winnings as payment basically cancel out their judgement? Like sure, he would owe to the other creditors, but he gives up a building and domain and they can no longer go after him because their debt is paid? Like writing yourself a bad check, it would cancel itself out (in practice, not in a chase bank glitch kind of way)?
Basically the idea is that Jones owes them $1.5B. He has to personally pay it no matter what. So if the site was "sold" for $100M, it would be the families "loaning" The Onion $100M, which will come out of the "$1.4B Alex would give them in the future, plus the $100M for the value of the site which cancels itself out. But essentially the families are just giving the site for free to The Onion.

The Onion was in this transaction to be an entity for the families to take the site from Jones immediately and stop anyone else not sympathetic to the idea of gun grabbing and deplatforming Jones from "saving" Infowars.

I guess there was some technicality that stopped the families from just legally seizing IW and shutting it down, and this was designed to circumvent that.
 
Basically the idea is that Jones owes them $1.5B. He has to personally pay it no matter what. So if the site was "sold" for $100M, it would be the families "loaning" The Onion $100M, which will come out of the "$1.4B Alex would give them in the future, plus the $100M for the value of the site which cancels itself out. But essentially the families are just giving the site for free to The Onion.
I thought the dude said in court the highest bid was like 1.9 billion or something, implying they put up their whole award, which is why I asked.
 
Saw this comment don't know how true it is, but it doesn't really matter, this is just like the escapist "owning" zero punctuation but losing the host who left to make the same show under another name. The host is the show, all you have is an IP nobody cares about without the star.

Update:

Well apparently it's come out now the judge in the bankruptcy case has (or plans to) put a hold on the sale and ordered an investigation into what he believes to be basically be an auction full of errors. Nypost

Too early to tell right now but Jones is saying that there wasn't a real auction where the platform was sold to the highest bidder. He claims that instead of having a public auction where the highest amount wins, the trustee of the case agaisnt Jones held a private auction where the people residing against Jones got to pick who buys it. Somehow the opposing side to Jones was able to take control of his website but not the actual studio as Jones is still the owner on paper.

Obviously this is Jones talking so we don't know for sure. He is also saying the Sandy Hook families helped The Onion buy it but didn't pay cash instead used credit that was backed by the money Jones has payed them.

It's a mess

TLDR: the auction hasn't actually gone through and most the viral headlines are exaggerating the details. There will be a investigation and hearing to determine if the sale was legitimate because the Judge is saying the auction doesn't appear to have been what was determined to have happened
 
So. Wait. Where did the onion get money from? Their network was completely collapsing last year?
I think this is the bigger question no one is asking. You trace where all the money is coming from and I'm sure it will lead to some three letter agency.

honestly Donald Trump should give Alex Jones a congressional pardon
A pardon for what? He wasn't convicted of any crimes. He had two civil cases, and in both cases the judge denied a jury trial (summary judgement). The president can't do anything about civil cases (or even state criminal cases) with executive power.

2. Alex Jones responds with documents A, B and C. He replies that Document D is in the custody of Google, since its a google record he cannot access.
I thought the situation was they demanded his Google analytics records. It's InfoWars, and they literally didn't run Google analytics at all. The judge demanded records that literally didn't exist. But I can't find a source for that at the moment, so I could be wrong (it's very difficult to find actual sources on anything concerning Alex Jone's trials)

Either way, the entire set of trails were fucked. They should have been dismissed way early on. Alex Jones interviewed people who had different opinions about Sandy Hook. He didn't defame anyone. He didn't act with intentional malice. The case against Alex Jones should terrify people, because it literally says you cannot publish alternative theories about anything.

John F Kennedy was killed by the CIA? $800 billion defamation paid to the Kennedy family.

9/11: Loose Change? $800 billion to the families who died Mossad/CIA murdered in the three buildings.

Bay of Pigs? $800 billion defamation .. to the Kennedy family again (but that one is true! Doesn't matter... $800 billion)

It didn't start with Alex Jones. It started with Jim Fetzer and his $450k judgement for writing Nobody Died at Sandy Hook. That book ... was just pulled from the Internet Archive within the past two months. I literally had a browser tab with it open, and when I went back to it and it refreshed, the book is now removed. He appealed to the Supreme Court and they denied to hear his case.

One of the plaintiffs in the AJ defamation case was literally an FBI agent (Aldenberg) claiming emotional damages. Hey Fed, it's part of your fucking job! It's literally about using defamation law to censor alternative theories of events and the freedom of speech. You don't have to like Alex Jones (I don't) to understand just how terrible what's happening to him (and Fetzer) is.
 
Wow, this is the funniest thing on The Onion in about 20 years!


Basically the idea is that Jones owes them $1.5B. He has to personally pay it no matter what. So if the site was "sold" for $100M, it would be the families "loaning" The Onion $100M, which will come out of the "$1.4B Alex would give them in the future, plus the $100M for the value of the site which cancels itself out. But essentially the families are just giving the site for free to The Onion.

The Onion was in this transaction to be an entity for the families to take the site from Jones immediately and stop anyone else not sympathetic to the idea of gun grabbing and deplatforming Jones from "saving" Infowars.

I guess there was some technicality that stopped the families from just legally seizing IW and shutting it down, and this was designed to circumvent that.
Isn’t the point of the bankruptcy to set Jones’ debt to $0 after he’s liquidated? What’s the point of bankruptcy if he still owes the remainder of the debt?
 
Isn’t the point of the bankruptcy to set Jones’ debt to $0 after he’s liquidated? What’s the point of bankruptcy if he still owes the remainder of the debt?
Bankruptcy only deals with debt that's eligible. AFAIK, civil judgements are not discharged in Bankruptcy.
 
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Bankruptcy only deals with debt that's eligible. AFAIK, civil judgements are not discharged in Bankruptcy.
So Jones is using the Bankruptcy court as a way to liquidate assets in a formalized way instead of relying on private settlements? It makes sense but still a very shitty situation.
 
So Jones is using the Bankruptcy court as a way to liquidate assets in a formalized way instead of relying on private settlements? It makes sense but still a very shitty situation.
No. He hasn't chosen to liquidate anything. The judge has decided he has to liquidate. The judge decided it's better for them to sell everything and distribute amongst the debtors then discharge the rest rather than let him pay because he would never be able to pay it down. The only type of debt that will remain after is non-dischargeable debt, like court judgements and student loans.
 
Apparently there was an hour long hearing today. I haven't listened to it yet, just found it. There was an mp3 attached to the bankruptcy court docket entry. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice in installing Adobe Acrobat even to be able to see this and extract it, so you don't have to do that yourself.

I bet there's some juicy shit in there.

The funniest thing Ben Collins and his zombie version of The Onion might have done is committing felony bankruptcy fraud to "own the chuds."

I don't know that's true, but hey, listen to this shit. Maybe it's in there.
You would bet right, from what I'm hearing so far. The TLDR, is that the trustee that was supposed to run things definitely fucked up, deliberately. I don't personally spend a lot of time in bankruptcy court, much less in Texas, but I know what a pissed off judge sounds like. This one is steamed - and the big takeaway is that he's ordered an evidentiary hearing to get to the bottom of it.

***Start Transcript***

So far, the big things is that the judge was expecting a standard auction, ie. "We have a bid of 30, will someone go 35? Okay we have 35, do I hear 50?" Instead, the trustee decided to ask for sealed bids, and after receiving the bids - if I understand his waffling attempt to explain to this pissed off judge, decided to alter the auction process by accepting credit bids. Not only did he decide to take credit bids, but allowed the plaintiff families to pledge the full 1 billion+ civil penalty as credit to their preferred bidder (the Onion), which obviously outbids every other party. The judge seems incredulous that he would do a credit auction, first of all, and second allow a civil penalty still under appeal to be applied, and third conceal this from all other parties until this moment.

The judge asks, "And did I authorize you to do this?" which is not something I ever want a judge to ask me, what the fuck. The trustee is now accusing the other attorney (for Jones) of lying, and trying to weasel that 'they knew who the winner was' but obviously lying by omission because this is the first time these details about this credit deal and money amounts is coming out. The judge is flabbergasted, "how can you have a bidding process if they don't know the bid to counter it?" Meanwhile the trustee keeping trying to equivocate that 'it is complex and there are a lot of numbers and the attorney is a lying conspiritard' like a total sped.

Holy shit, now the family attorney is trying to explain to the judge that 'this was totally authorized, that is what your order said!' like a smug snake, and the judge is just coldly telling him "I know what my order said, and this was not it." Going further, now he's trying to throw the trustee under the bus and pinky-swearing that he had no idea and thought the trustee was above board and they are just innocent victims. (I'll bet there was a payoff somewhere.) Continuing on, he's trying to downplay the entire affair, "oh, we thought that after the sealed bidding goes through, people could contest and everything would be public so it'd be okay!' Even though its always harder to undo something than keep it from happening in the first place.

Now Jones' attorney is on, and is telling more about how the trustee jumped the gun and already shut down the websites, tried to fire everyone, closed down the studio, and also sold several dozen domains already. He's arguing that the process of sales should be halted until they can have further hearings, because several businesses are acting as though the sales are already through and final. Another of his attorneys also brings up, to rebut the earlier statements, that the Judge's order specifically calls for an exact bidding figure in American dollars, with no mention of ranges, waiver of claims, trades, etc.

Now they have gone back and are waffling about wether the sale has actually finalized, and if they can go ahead and lock down assets, fire employees, etc. Apparently the trustee is making some excuses that they "needed to secure the site, the equipment, the stock, etc, because Jones and his employees would steal everything when they find out we secretly sold to the Onion." He is making a lot of excuses and equivocating about it, and also trying to claim that all assets are his to distribute. The judge has to remind him that he has authorized only certain things to be liquidated, and the trustee has to get the judge's approval to sell anything. The judge is giving a caution that it is hard to un-sell assets, and that he needs to get approval first to avoid further litigation. He spends a lot of time being kind of gentle and diplomatic, but he's taking a long time laboriously going over how important it is to only sell what he has authorized to sell.

Now Elon's attorney is speaking up for X (Twitter), to reserve the right to be heard regarding any sale or litigation involving Alex Jones accounts on X.

Again, requests are being made for the trustee to submit all the bids, the paperwork that he used to calculate the 'investment bids with credit', all that, especially since the trustee already blurted out some bid amounts during this hearing. So in the interest of fairness they are requesting those copies be provided to all parties.

Steve Lemon from DQPR? is now asking questions about the process and proposed sale orders. TYhe judge is repeating that he cares about the process and transparency, he states he doesn't care who is the ultimate winning bid, but he is focused on due process solely and resolving disputes. He says that he "knows people are listening" so some of this is performative, but he seems pretty focused on this anyway so maybe he's just emphasizing his true perspective. He repeats that he is still very concerned that there is no clarity, but states there will be discovery, there will be public hearings, and that this will all come out.

The Onion's lawyer is now up, and in full lickspittle mode, trying to brown-nose the judge and all but plead for the judge to just approve everything and is doing a "who, innocent little baby me?" act.

Now a lady lawyer is speaking up, and she is lodging a complaint about the current shut-down, asking that the company be un-shuttered, that people be allowed back into the offices to do their jobs, protesting about the accusations of theft, etc. The judge asks her to file "something I can rule on" come Monday, no idea what he is expecting but I image she will get something done. This is a status hearing only, he can't take evidence or rule today, but he promises there will be ruling in the future once he has motions and evidence. He promises future, public hearings.

***End Transcript***

The liquidation bundles are spaghetti mess as it is, with lots of connected assets, shell companies, nested ownerships, pretty typical corporate structures that would normally present an annoying but routine chore for a bankruptcy court. Unfortunately this case is made more complicated by the plaintiffs being scheming retards and a trustee with obvious political bias trying to pull all kinds of underhanded shit to
A) Try to sell shit they shouldn't be trying to sell
B) Doing secret closed auctions with credit to send assets to preferred bidders
C) Acting as though sales have gone through and are finalized to shut down web/job sites/offices
Fortunately, while this judge repeated a dozen times that "I have no interest, I don't care who wins these bids" he seems laser focused on due process, transparency, and adherence to the rules. He doesn't seem willing to let the plantiffs/trustee just get away with obvious bullshit, unlike the trial court judges that seemed to be very biased. All in all, my read is that he doesn't like dealing with this high profile shit and is pissed that this gay retarded shit is going down in his courtroom and that he has to deal with it.
 
Not an Alex Jones fan, however.... Total humiliation ritual, the pay out itself was insane. Bayer paid 600 million for KNOWINGLY selling AIDS contaminated blood products. People actually died. He has to pay twice that because parents of dead kids got mad about what he said.

I think he's a broken clock, but if they will do this to him, it makes me wonder what crazy shit he said was actually right, just so crazy that it's hard to believe.
 
How the fuck are you going to do that? Jones is one of those people where it's almost impossible to parody him because he's just so far out there.
The only time I ever saw Alex Jones successfully parodied was by Our Cartoon President which did a pretty good job of managing to exaggerate Jones' insanity while actually making him funny.
"Please, do not make me be the voice of reason here!" Will never not crack me up.
 
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