Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Ring of Basilius]

How the fuck you can make masturbation "more masculine"??

Dimly lit room (late afternoon/early evening most optimal). Stare at blank white wall. Shirt on but no pants. Make no sounds at all. Keep handgun within arms' reach at all times (just in case).

 

[Male Idiot]

You must be relatively young or came into knowledge of this all late because no. Not all of them were like that. A lot actually didn't like real homo activity:tm: in real life at all. And fully leaned into the fact a lot of it was entirely unrealistic (lmao I still remember coming across old LJ posts about the "height rule" and there is a funny comic poking fun at this all where a bunch of fujos are strapped in Clockwork Orange style being shown actual gay porn and being horrified). The stuff you're talking about was a newer gen thing and was largely because of the SJW-ification of fandom. Fujos left to their own devices just liked writing/reading deranged shit that just so happened to have two male characters in a pairing.

I miss that comic. Can you repost it please?

All my nerdy chick friends were passing this around in grade nine. The pink guy is very obviously a female self insert. He was really bratty and dumb and two older guys were obsessed with him for no reason, so basically it's just shoujo manga. We never discussed actual homos, just whether or not we thought straight boys we liked kissing was hot, which we did because Gerard Way and all the other rock stars we liked would do it sometimes for this specific reason. I think everyone I knew who read or watched this is hetero married now. View attachment 7185626
TLDR I blame the internet

The middle one looks like a tomboy girl. Those dainty shoulders scream woman. The pink leather prostitute getup is just the icing on the cake.

Its an extended magazine, like the ones you would see in a nigger gun.
View attachment 7213439View attachment 7213441

With nigger aim, they need all the bullets they can get.

Being physically incapable of doing even a single push up puts her in the bottom quartile of elderly women. Also, holy fuck, are modern people really this weak? No way is this list accurate at top quintile men in their 20's being anyone who can do 20 pushups. I know people are getting fat but this is just ridiculous.

Back on topic, our littlest dood should try to hit 20+ pushups without stopping to be a real man.

View attachment 7214771

https://blist.cc/average-push-up-by-age-and-gender

Ok, am I being a spergy Euro again, but as a fat fuck I can do 20 pushups. I am closer to 20% bad than 20% good. As a kid I had to do one hundred. Now I didn't do the hentai scene of watching the girls in high school, but 25 was like what they did in elementary before the course eas segregated by sex.
Most adult men should be able to do 50 pushups.

There are men out there who genuinely think that because I’m also attracted to women that means I’m a sexual deviant just like any other man.

I don’t think about the quote unquote straightness of the men. I fuck women with a strap and that doesn’t mean they’re secretly heterosexual. Butts have nerve endings just like vaginas.

I know this used to be BP and I'll try to say it nicely, but you are a sexual deviant if we look at it objectively.

Being on ex BP grounds we'll let the homo part pass with no degen points.

But why would you do butt stuff? Women don't have prostrates, and have a gspot in the other hole. And lass I had to get my butt examined it hurts like hell, and I have a prostrate. Yes it has nerve endings, pain ones. I could understand why fags do it, but there isn't any non perverted reason for two women* to play with each others' backdoors.

*Who despite pooner aspirations have no prostrate. Edit.

You did your gay bros dirty, the down-low closet boy needed his butt speared.

View attachment 7253750
I was browsing some pooner's reddit history and saw this comment thinking perhaps what she was looking at was one of the rare decently attractive "passing" TIFs but-

Spoiler

View attachment 7253758

They always end up hairy like a hog. What is the science behind it? Is it too much T? Their mixed, semitic bloodline? My mother said of men with such body hair that if they were born a day later they would have been born a chimp.

Same crazy eyes.

She definately was crazy even before pooning. Little Zelensky must be double crazy by now.

 

[Paper Machete]

They always end up hairy like a hog. What is the science behind it?

I think a lot of women tend to have more very fine peach fuzz and very fine hairs that are basically invisible to the naked eye most of the time unless you get really, really close. Men tend to have larger pores/hair follicles so they don't get those hairs as much unless they're also unlucky enough to be very, very hairy. But when some girls start taking the roids, those fine hairs thicken and start growing more.

(Also, no, I don't have that comic on file sorry. But it's funny.)

 

[Mayor Cody Travers]

Found the final boss of pooners.

Spoiler: you aren't ready for this

View attachment 7269727

….

Man, it was a mistake to browse the Farms during lunch.

 

[Niggolash]

 

[Kalsarikännit]

It's funny to see how even the ones that actually want to try to be masculine an actual man still almost always type like girls. You can often tell someone's gender by how they type. We know this, but it's funny when these clowns seem to be completely oblivious to that. If they aren't oblivious, they'll often say that it's because they're a gay man; I don't know if it's more funny, or more delusional when they do.

The "making someone repeat something that they 100% heard correctly the first time" as a form of shaming is incredibly female, hammered in by what the poor guy's GF did.

 

[TruffleSpark]

pooners are comically pathetic, notice how scared she is of offending a troon but how comfortable she is telling terfs to fuck off, it's obvious who pooners are really afraid of

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Is there a single Y chromosome in the "hell is a teenage boy" tag?

Spoiler: Tumblr background lore

Tumblrinas like to make "hell is a teenage girl" posts where they fantasize about being waif mentally ill Catholic teen girls who got molested or would have been lobotomized. I don't know. i don't understand the youth.

 

[Baumstriezel]

I miss that comic. Can you repost it please?

I gotchu fam

 

[Kalsarikännit]

Is there a single Y chromosome in the "hell is a teenage boy" tag?

Is there a single Y chromosome on tumblr?

 

[Surfin Terf]

Saw an idiotic tweet from an unironic EthanisOnline and frogan simp and immediately clocked her as a pooner from the name alone. CripKing (nitter), very obviously a standard pooner with a cane she doesn't actually need.

Her handle indicates her "name" is Oliver, a very popular name for pooners, and of course her twitter bio includes he/they pronouns so I felt pretty validated in my belief...

And then I went to look for any selfies and she had just so happened to post one about ten minutes before I noticed her

I'm hot as fuck, your turn

She's mocking someone for making fun of frogan's looks, but not posting his face. She gets some points for being willing to post her face, but loses them all for being this fucking ugly. She claims to be an Australian aboriginal, and that nose actually makes me think she might not just be a basic white girl playing pretend.

Her twitter is full of the dumbest takes



This one isn't too stupid, but I do suspect she might have some personal experience as an 80 IQer

She's revealed some things about her family... I don't know how much is true and how much is the usual BPD drama and fantasizing, but here's a small sampling
(the photo in question was her meeting Stan Lee as a kid)

It's incredibly fucked up if she's actually raising a kid

Her account was made this year and she already has over a thousand posts, so maybe she'll get more interesting, but for now she's not super interesting. Maybe she'll bear fruit in the future though. Worth keeping an eye on. I haven't put any effort into doxing her yet, but if anyone wants to try I'll tell you that she seems to be from rural Victoria. The selfie I posted is the only personal photo she's posted so far.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

It's not as extremely in your face as usual, but the way she types is clearly feminine. They pretty much always type in a way that makes their gender obvious, usually even more so than here

With a gun to my head in a court, I couldn't prove my online male friends of years are male. Within 15 minutes, regardless of whether we're friends, enemies or strangers, a woman will let it slip.

They are used to and can't let go of the female privilege. What kind of dude tweets "FEELS GREAT TO BE A MAN!"? You can practically clock them from that alone.

 

[YoRHa No. 2 Type B]

rural Victoria

If its true that she is in Regional Vic, I would find it very hard to believe she is based in some tiny nothing town. There's only a few big cities in the state thankfully.
One thing that struck out to me was the grass in the park where she took the photo of herself.
The vibrancy of the grass would be unusual for somewhere too far north (even in a park), so South West, Ballarat or Gippsland would be most likely.
I would say its somewhere south of this line:

Gippsland is basically everything East of Melbourne. The only really big cities in this map are Ballarat, Geelong and Moe/Morwell/Traralgon.
Go further north then this line and it gets less green and more arid as you get closer to the Outback, so it wouldn't be much further north then Melbourne.
My money is on Ballarat or Geelong. Loads of people like this in those 2 cities.
I feel like I've been to that park before, and it was in Ballarat, near the city centre. This photo of Victoria Park near Ballarat Central does look very similar to the picture to me:

Street view is at this point in the park: https://maps.app.goo.gl/D5SKXMkGffECRd4PA

They don't tolerate faggots like this in Gippsland so I wouldn't expect that. Although its not entirely impossible.
Also to note, there's basically no Indigenous people in Victoria as they were almost entirely killed off (only place I've ever seen them is in the far north of the state, and still not too many), and they essentially don't exist in the South West, Gippsland or Melbourne (entire region south of that line). I'm 99% sure she is just trying to redeem some victim points.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

How the fuck you can make masturbation "more masculine"??

I love this kinda retarded train of thought cause like.. a dude is jerking his dick. A male-exclusive piece of meat in his hand, stroking it. It is the definition of male. He can be an oiled up faggot twink with a dildo in his ass and it'd still be male.

That said, I've seen the trope in tranny type shit lately. They'll drown their place in pink LEDs and buy all those traditionally female things like Sailor Moon and other such anime crap just so they can tell themselves "no no, this is totally female".

 

[2mm and 99 others]

I gotchu famView attachment 7280382

If I saw what's on the screen separately, I'd say it's an usual Disco Elysium fanart on Xitter. Pooners call it 'Old man yaoi" now. Don't know if they watch some live-action source materials to get the reference, but I guess they don't find it 'eww' anymore.

 

[Niggolash]

Instantly clockable despite the face covering (which of course she crocheted herself!)

Spoiler: Source

 

[Detective Carey]

View attachment 7284582

That dood is clearly a sexy gothic badboy who smells good.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

That dood is clearly a sexy gothic badboy who smells good.

She was the literal definition of "genderblob".

I genuinely do not understand how or why such ugly people exist. Surely her parents must have looked at themselves in a mirror?

 

[Detective Carey]

Gross people be fuckin, it's basically why we're here spectating.