I Just Got Top Surgery and I’m Miserable Transphobia (
self.FTMventing)
submitted 12 hours ago by
_puppyro to
r/FTMventing
to preface it was SUPPOSED to be cared for by an ex boyfriend who decided to dump me because some transgirl convinced him to break up with me and be with her instead (he was also ftm and post-op so he was my best option) But he dumped me after 2.5 years of being together, and kicked me out of our house all less than a month from the biggest surgery of my life so already off to a fantastic start!
that leaves my mother in charge of my care as i had to move back in with my folks to be able to afford to live in a house and still have surgery
she has always been a combative person in my transition, was extremely emotionally and mentally abusive most of my childhood, and has this irrational fear that i’m going to blame HER for “letting me transition” if i ever detransition (Way to make it about yourself, she’s also a narcissist if thats not obvious)
Surgery was yesterday morning, and don’t even get me started on my overnight in the hospital it was miserable too.
I took a rinse off shower today as approved and as soon as my bandages came off she very loudly, and in a disgusted tone, went “Oh my God, why the hell did he make them so big? That’s going to be an ugly scar” so obviously i started crying, she kind of just scoffed and rushed me through my rinse off
then she got me all put up in bed with pillows and went downstairs only to put her phone in a different room (no ringer) turn her hearing aids onto bluetooth mode to listen to music, and
completely ignored me for almost an hour while I was screaming at the top of my lungs for help (my phone had died and the charger she gave me was broken so I couldn’t just call her)
and I was
loud, no one heard me? there’s 3 people in this household and not a single one came to my aid???
then when she came upstairs she was all angry at me because I was crying and panicking (because im completely useless and stranded without help???) and upset that she just wasn’t paying attention because knowing you are partially deaf, W
HY ON EARTH WOULD YOU TURN OFF YOUR HEARING AIDS WHEN YOUR OLDEST CHILD IS UPSTAIRS RECOVERING FROM BEING CUT OPEN???? BRIGHT FUCKING IDEA MOM!!!
Any time I have brought up that none of this is helping and I just need her to do what im asking of her not a million other things,
im told i should be grateful she’s even doing this for me because she could “just let me suffer in bed” ???
This is supposed to be a time of healing and peace and happiness and she’s making me miserable for daring to exist in pain
I don’t know what I expected moving back in, I always took care of her through all her back and knee surgeries with no complaints, I guess I just expected the same decency?