In 2019, CeCé Telfer raced to victory in the NCAA’s Division II 400-meter hurdles for Franklin Pierce University, becoming the first out transgender woman to snag a title under the major collegiate athletics organization. Her life up to that point, and ever since, has been a fight to present and compete as who she really is.
Most notably, in 2021, USA Track and Field denied Telfer the opportunity to compete in the Olympic Trials, arguing that she didn’t meet hormone-level eligibility requirements. Then, in March 2023, World Athletics, the international governing body for track, effectively banned trans women from racing, nipping Telfer’s 2024 bid for Paris in the bud. All the while, she has kept training and searching for a way into international competition. But Telfer says that over the course of her time competing in the women’s category, she has experienced homelessness and estrangement from her biological family, all while being harassed by everyone from her fellow competitors to Donald Trump, Jr. She documents those experiences, and her frequent appearances in the harsh right-wing spotlight, in her compelling new memoir Make It Count, available June 18.
The intense scrutiny on Telfer ratcheted up across conservative media as she found success in the women’s category during her last season at Franklin Pierce, and then again a couple of years later, when her Olympic dream was shut down the first time. Because she continues to compete, Telfer remains one of a small group of prominent trans athletes who anti-trans conservatives can reliably use to fuel right-wing outrage. In March of this year, when a group of current and former college athletes, including former University of Kentucky swimmer (and outspoken anti-trans activist) Riley Gaines, filed a lawsuit against the NCAA, arguing that the governing body violated their Title IX rights by allowing transgender athletes to compete, Telfer once again found herself dealing with the emotional distress of right-wing scrutiny.
Ahead of the release of her memoir, which chronicles all her personal and professional ups and downs, Telfer caught up with Them to talk about the current climate for trans athletes, blocking out the noise while competing, and more.
One thing that struck me, especially in the earlier chapters when you were younger, was how you seem to have had such a clarity about your sense of self. How has that served you into adulthood as you continue to face discrimination and other challenges?
I was never a boy, never saw myself as a boy, never identified as a boy, never conformed to anything that was masculine boy unless my parents were forcing it upon me.
So when it was time for me to break out of that shell and be like, no, I have to live for me now, I came to the realization that [my mother was] never going to love me for who I am. I have to live for me now because I’m at a very critical time in my life at college — if the war with my mental and physical state keeps happening, I will not be here any longer.
So I came out to her. Everything that I thought was going to happen pretty much happened. It was easier for me to let go of her knowing that she was going to come [at] me with hate, no love, and just a lot of bad stuff. It was so freeing. I felt like it was going to be worse, and I was going to be depressed for months. But I’ve never been happier. I’ve never been freer. I’ve never been lighter.
As a former NCAA athlete, how do you feel knowing that there was all this discussion recently about whether the governing body would ban trans women from collegiate sports? And of course, the NAIA, a smaller organization, did just effectively ban trans women from women’s sports.
I was heartbroken. I was distraught. Because I’m like, why are we going back? Why are we reverting? We’re literally going back in history. This is not real life, because we were moving forward and now we’re moving backwards. This is scary. The fact that people are powerful enough to move backwards is scary, not only for transgender women, but it should be scary for society at large because people think that [anti-trans advocates are] going to stop at transgender women. No. They’ve always been policing women’s bodies. It’s going down to cis women and what’s going on in their lives and their bodies.
It breaks my heart because I had an opportunity. The NCAA saw me. They gave me a chance to be that voice and be that physical change, and they were taking a step in the right direction and obviously creating history, hoping that other organizations would follow.
You wrote about stereotypes you have to face. How do you push forward in your fight to compete while knowing that, as you write about in your book, people might just see you as an “angry Black woman”?
I’ve been learning to speak from my heart rather than from my mind. And when I compete, to push forward, I tell myself that I will have my turn. And by the grace of God, I have an opportunity and I have to make it count. And making that count is eliminating everything that is negative, everything that is bad. I might be a little angry, but that’s just how I feel. And we are allowed to be angry. It’s a normal, healthy human emotion. However, I know that because of the color of my skin, I cannot live that normal human emotion.
You describe the process of receiving all this hate online, especially as the harassment spread nationally. It even came from our former president and his family. How are you able to shut out that noise?
Now I’m able to eliminate the distraction and the hateful, dehumanizing voices, especially from the past president and his family. I really had to dig deep and know that what I’m doing is applying pressure. I don’t have to do anything but show up and execute. That’s what’s really led me fiercely into this Olympic journey, because me showing up is applying pressure.
What does your day-to-day look like?
I work part-time, three days a week at a side job, and I train after work and every other day or every day. I try to keep up with speaking gigs to advocate, if I get invited to a university to talk. I’m advocating daily, because [of] my side job; people from all over the world see me, and they ask me questions. They’ve never been exposed [to trans people].
I’m [also] looking to just mentally try to heal from the denial [by World Athletics], and pick myself up and look forward to the season ahead. I’m just trying to stay healthy, you know? And sane. I always, always, as I wake up, I pray and I thank God for being alive and for being here today.
How are you doing mental health-wise?
Anti-trans rhetoric from past athletes, current athletes, is making it so much harder for women like me to exist in society and even compete in sports.
Right now it’s really, really, really, really hard, but I’ve just got to keep going and keep showing up. The other thing that keeps me going, too, is just going to the gym and working out, even though sometimes I feel like that is taken away from me, too. I feel like everything is slowly being taken away from me, but something told me to stand in my power, and I’m going to keep standing in my power.
When I see other athletes, I do feel some type of way, ’cause I’m like, that should be me. I should be training. So I’m in a very dark place right now.
What goes through your mind when you’re on the starting blocks of a race?
The moment I get onto the starting blocks, I am thinking: You’re here. Get it done. This is it and you got to make every second count. Give it everything you got. And then a part of me is thinking: I’m thankful and grateful to be on this line with all of these women. You’re lucky to be here. And don’t ever feel like that national championship gave you any advantage. Don't ever feel above any of these other athletes. I’m very appreciative and very humbled in the moment. And also extremely, extremely thankful for being there.
But also, as I’m getting into the blocks and the gun is about to go off, I’m like: Listen, eat this race up. It’s yours, and take it.
Who are you off the track?
Honestly, off the track, I am a lover. I consider myself like a ride-or-die, a rock. I consider myself to be a voice for people who don’t have a voice. Off the track, I am a very, very girly girl. I mean, on the track, too. I like to take care of myself and feel very pretty.
I want to chill. I want to watch movies off the track. I really want to rest and recover because I know that rest and recovery is the key to fast times. I’m always thinking like an athlete. I’m always thinking about what’s going to impact my performance the next day or down the line.
What’s the next step in your fight to compete in international track and field?
I look forward to indoor track, because 2024 indoors is going to be epic. My dreams were taken away from me once again. So I plan on going back to New England, hitting up all the indoor competitions, and taking all the names, all the records, and everything.
That doesn’t look like first all the time, that doesn’t look like second place, that doesn’t look like podium all the time, but the track meets that count will count. That’s what’s burning this fire in my heart and in my body. So it’s keeping me going to know that I can go to indoor competitions and still be the girl to talk about, period.
This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Make It Count: My Fight to Become the First Transgender Olympic Runner is available June 18 via Grand Central Publishing