Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

[everybody in Portugal]

complete with little hole so you can inject a mixture of corn starch and water.

I know most pooners aren't actually dicking anybody down with these things but uhhh... You what now? Please, please somebody tell me this is only for 'masturbatory purposes' and they come with instructions saying absolutely do not do this while you're penetrating a human orifice.

Anybody trying to turkey baste me with fucking corn starch will end up in hospital. No thank you, miss. There's no way that doesn't lead to some sort of infection down there.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Absolutely not. This is game is only a few years old.

The game I was talking about is Absolute Obedience. It was released in Japan in 2005, received a lot of attention from fansubbers, and got an official English release in 2006.

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I just traumatised myself all over again trying to find it.

Wait, I think I recognize this from those old Bad Yaoi Anatomy threads.
After all these years, I now know the source of the legendary Frontbutt:

Spoiler

 

[LateNightMuffin]

My wife just came out as a lesbian and im heartbroken

So yeah, my wife of 2 years came out as a lesbian a couple days ago. Im struggling hard bc we were perfectly fine before she left for a month long deployment (shes active duty military).

When she came back, she told me that she realized she is a lesbian and cant love me the way i love her.

I shared this with Ms LateNightMuffin, who responded, "That poor wife needs to run away as fast as she can."
To which I responded, "I'm guessing it's more likely she would have to waddle. But yes, she should waddle away as fast as possible, and roll away if necessary."

 

[kiwirevolving]

Imagine transitioning into a soyboy that shills fake dicks for a living

 

[GluttonousManSlob]

-snip-

It's hard to articulate how uncomfortable this channel makes me. It's a demented game of pretend that's betrayed by her obviously feminine mannerisms, even as her hollow eyes stare into the camera and she describes in detail how these fake dicks are designed to imitate the genuine article.

Troons are ugly, but I think I now understand the horror of one of these things attempting to skinwalk as you. It's an act of violation.

 

[Narinder]

Imagine going to therapy only to then have to sit across from a pooner for an hour

Catching up on the thread. I would literally rather just kill myself. I don't mind talking to a woman therapist as a guy, because even if she wouldn't 100% understand the male experience, she's probably trained in being empathic enough to have some theory of mind. But if I had to sit across from a woman pretending to be a guy, as if she lives the male experience, I'd rather clock out with a glock out.

 

[batteredpancakes]

Following that thread lead me to this review of Gramma's sausage packers. Pooners playing with silicone dicks is never not funny. Especially hand poured, hand painted ones.

No words

Spoiler: why

 

[Dr. Butt]

I’m gonna go in a tangent slightly but that’s why girls need Christianity. It’s about the beauty on the inside, and dismissing the surface-deep, material world.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

( @libRT )

 

[Owls Owls Owls]

Pooner heartbroken over wife's coming out as a lesbian

Spoiler

My wife just came out as a lesbian and im heartbroken

So yeah, my wife of 2 years came out as a lesbian a couple days ago. Im struggling hard bc we were perfectly fine before she left for a month long deployment (shes active duty military).

When she came back, she told me that she realized she is a lesbian and cant love me the way i love her.
The thing is, i kinda already knew bc she never wanted to have sex with me and wasnt very intimate. I asked her so many times if she thinks she was a lesbian and she always told me no and that she loves me, her husband... im just so sad and im struggling mentally bc we were fine and then she just cuts me out and is now all cold and distant.

What also hurts is that when i used to identify as a lesbian, i would hear "i'd date you if you were a guy" or something along those lines from girls and it would hurt.
Now that im a trans man, i was told "it would be different if you were a girl" "i wish you stayed a girl". This shits traumatizing man.

You'd think that'd be "validating". She's seen as a man, and therefore disgusting to a lesbian.

Little Pooner here is just mad that her lesbian wife of two years isn't magically into all the shit that a sudden intake of T subjects women to. Body odor, acne, increase in body hair, a frog voice. Oh and suddenly being told 'you're aktchually straight because I'm a man and have always been a man and pretending otherwise makes you a bigot'.

 

[peepooman]

But if I had to sit across from a woman pretending to be a guy, as if she lives the male experience, I'd rather clock out with a glock out.

I can imagine a little pooner, dressed in a turtle neck and a tweed jacket, sitting across her male patient, trying to look at all of his problems through the lens of his dick, cause her little packer is the centrepiece of her identity and since she's a manly dude, who completely understands male experience, every man must also always be obsessing about his penis. And I can easily see her just abandoning her patient's issues mid-session to work out her own penis envy through him.

 

[libRT]

View attachment 6491061
( @libRT )

that is the dutch flag.

 

[Gorton Colu]

that is the dutch flag.

Its Colgate toothpaste

 

[SpookyObserver]

PISS SOAKED POONER NEEDS MILKING ADVICE! “GUSHING FEELING” EVERY TIME SHE SITS DOWN:

View attachment 6488666

Guys, could anyone help this young lady out with some tips?

Old man tier. They really do burn the candle 3 times as fast.

 

[Aunt Carol]

How many fake dicks does this bitch have lol?
Why does she have a nigger dick?
Does she just collect them?

I'm not watching hours of prosthetic dick reviews either. Anyone who did: does she go into her storage situation?

If you put soft silicone next to other soft silicone and don't move it a lot, it can transfer color or start to stick together. What with the scrotums, it'd be easy to double her shelf space with some Shoe-Pals.

 

[uwaga! aooga!]

Here's her full video list if you want more

Her triceps, or rather the total lack thereof, at the one second mark are a pretty clear tell that she's a woman. I wonder why you never see pooners feeling insecure about their tricepses? Maybe we need to make them aware of the tonal difference in that muscle between most men and women, so they start panicking about being clocked on that basis.

 

[Procopius]

How many fake dicks does this bitch have lol?

I'm not watching hours of prosthetic dick reviews either. Anyone who did: does she go into her storage situation

This is the last one I watched, the point I realised that I would put my fist through my monitor if I carried on. She is particularly irritating, but to answer your question the whole video is filmed in front of a shelf where all the rejects are left to amuse themselves.

Spoiler: Local Copy

Her partner seems to be another pooner (so a pair of old-fashioned butch lezzas in most people's eyes) but she only appears in videos accompanied by "step mum" and I've no wish to watch a couple of porn-addled lesbians doing their best Sid James impersonations to see if she's equally irritating.

(edit) Although if anyone wants to take one for the team, I'm in particular avoiding My Co-Worker bought my anal beads

 

[Aunt Carol]

She is particularly irritating, but to answer your question the whole video is filmed in front of a shelf where all the rejects are left to amuse themselves.

Well that's just poor use of space.

And a poor economic decision, too. What price gender affirmation?

Clone-a-Pussy costs $15 less than Clone-a-Willy, and the mold is better designed for her purposes.

 

[Fapcop]

Personally I find "Pig's arsehole" to be a weirder name, but there's a bit of stiff (oooh, matron) competition among these companies to come up with the weirdest name.

How about a fake weenie called Pepperencino. Yup, it really exists. A mere $395, or $520 if you want it with hair, to get a product that looks like it was designed in the Jim Henson workshop.

Or maybe you think that's just not big enough. What you need is Zeus, that comes with a price tag to match its god-like dimensions. $495, $630 with hair.

Or if you're thinking that maybe all these are just a little bit out of your budget, try the Aliexpress ripoff, Monsieur Wiggle. Yours for a mere $49, and by the way our little pooner rolls it around her face, also great for your complexion.

Or if only the real thing is good enough for you, she also reviews quite a few of that old butt of a million jokes, the penis pump. Because, hey, doesn't every true and honest man have a shelf full of them.

Spoiler: Local Copy

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They’re so fucking fembrained, they can’t even name a product like a man would.

“Mr Wiggles?!?”
“Grandma’s sausage?!?”

They don’t look like men, they don’t act like men, they don’t think like men, but god forbid if you point out the truth: That they’re women.

 

[Syikeblade]

Most pooner's are just feminist who hate men because they think their oppressors.
Also noticed how they use the term cis to separate actual men from themselves as to seem like one of the good ones even though trans men are suppose to be men.


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