What does Chris (thinks he) has to offer?

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Status
Not open for further replies.
Marvin said:
Alec Benson Leary said:
hal9000 said:
"I'm loooooyal, I'm stroooooooooong, I'm very strong willed, and I feel-and I feel- that when the time cooooomes, I would be able to support your daughter as well"
I think in some part of the Jackie correspondence after the pull-up video, he was all like "yeah, I know I can't do a single pull-up, but still, I am VERY strong."

It never ends. He wants you to give him credit for things he just demonstrated he doesn't deserve five minutes ago.
I really love the pull-up video. It's so great because Chris didn't even consider the possibility that he couldn't do it. So he was perfectly confident he could do it right up until he failed and the look on his face is priceless.


i forget who, but there was an avatar of that exact moment he realizes he can't do the pull up. it made me laugh every time
 
Marvin said:
I really love the pull-up video. It's so great because Chris didn't even consider the possibility that he couldn't do it. So he was perfectly confident he could do it right up until he failed and the look on his face is priceless.
No kidding
Studalert.png

Thank you whoever named the jpeg "stud alert". I'd recommened this for a new smilie, but I don't know what emotion it would convey.
 
Marvin said:
I really love the pull-up video. It's so great because Chris didn't even consider the possibility that he couldn't do it. So he was perfectly confident he could do it right up until he failed and the look on his face is priceless.
Oh, he was so blown away by the realization that his arms were so weak.

If I remember right, the reason Jackie wanted a pull-up video was as a counter to that fake push-up shit video he did back during Liquid - he can "fake" push-ups the way he did and still think he's superior, but there's no way to fake a pull-up. You can either do it or you can't.

Descent said:
Thank you whoever named the jpeg "stud alert". I'd recommened this for a new smilie, but I don't know what emotion it would convey.
Total shock and surprise.
 
It'll be fine. As soon as he gets a sweetheart, she'll help him fix his biological clock and he'll get HEALTHY and STRONG.
 
Descent said:
Marvin said:
I really love the pull-up video. It's so great because Chris didn't even consider the possibility that he couldn't do it. So he was perfectly confident he could do it right up until he failed and the look on his face is priceless.
No kidding
Studalert.png

Thank you whoever named the jpeg "stud alert". I'd recommened this for a new smilie, but I don't know what emotion it would convey.

I don't want to sound like a Jersey Shore douche, but, goddamn, he couldn't even hold on to the bar, I mean, he was like what, 26-27 years old?
 
Well let's be fair, he *was* being set up for failure here. Even Hulk Hogan's 24-inch pythons would struggle to lift that body.
 
Kosher Dill said:
Well let's be fair, he *was* being set up for failure here. Even Hulk Hogan's 24-inch pythons would struggle to lift that body.

Brother I wish Chris could be man enuff to follow the demands of Hulkmania, thats exactly what he need to change his body and life.
 
He's an AMERICAN.

He genuinely has nothing to offer anyone, unless they like pain and suffering... Which actually is a kink. However, I don't think he would know where to start looking for someone who would be interested in taking in a giant pants-shitting manbaby like Chris, who wasn't a dude, older than him, and/or fat (the cardinal sins of his requirements list).
 
TRUTH and HONESTY and CARING, though they can certainly help, don't put food on the table or pay the bills by themselves.
 
Guys, don't you listen to Chris? Chris has PLENTY to offer! He's said it himself - he's sweet, honest, caring, a good listener, fun to be around, empathetic, an all-around good guy! What girl could possibly say no to that!
 
CalmMyTits said:
Guys, don't you listen to Chris? Chris has PLENTY to offer! He's said it himself - he's sweet, honest, caring, a good listener, fun to be around, empathetic, an all-around good guy! What girl could possibly say no to that!

Megan.
 
Chris covered this topic pretty well himself:

[youtube]8axUqa5XUFA[/youtube]

In short, you should go out with him because he needs you, he is lonely and is (was?) a desperate, lonesome virgin and he doesn't want to be that desperate that he has to go as far as to pay $100 for a damn hooker
 
Just like Homor Simpson, the only thing he can offer is complete and utter dependence.
 
DangDirtyTrolls said:
Chris covered this topic pretty well himself:

[youtube]8axUqa5XUFA[/youtube]

In short, you should go out with him because he needs you, he is lonely and is (was?) a desperate, lonesome virgin and he doesn't want to be that desperate that he has to go as far as to pay $100 for a damn hooker
Your signature sums up everything. No one will ever want Chris, unless they're an extreme masochist with thousands to spend on an autistic manchild's habits.
 
I think Chris does have his moments were he realizes he is pathetic and has nothing really to offer but just gets lazy, stops thinking about it and deludes himself with bullshit Barb tells him.
 
CatParty said:
Y'all should know him by now, but, if you don't, he is Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

obviously.

oh and he can offer this:

[youtube]wEKLxgRJnAc[/youtube]


what else would he need to offer?

Oh god, I thought his bent duck was going to be under the spoiler tag. Not sure if this is worse though. :heart-empty:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom