"Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag replies

[tehpope]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

God damn do I hate this reply. Adding the seen to heard bugs me to no end. It's a simple question that was far from offensive and yet he had to change it to get out some homo/transphobia nonsense. Then he adds Krull which is just weird. A random 80's sci-fi/fantasy movie. Also his favorites list is ridiculous because he lists a whole series of movies that would end at the 1st Ghostbuster movie. Ignoring the general shittiness of the Transformers and Saw series.
/movie rant

Pretty sure Chris has never seen Krull. Family Guy made a negative reference to it in Meet the Quagmires, though it might have been towards Zapped! instead. It's been a long ass time since I've watched any episode of Family Guy.

 

[SkeletonGrandma]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

God damn do I hate this reply. Adding the seen to heard bugs me to no end. It's a simple question that was far from offensive and yet he had to change it to get out some homo/transphobia nonsense. Then he adds Krull which is just weird. A random 80's sci-fi/fantasy movie. Also his favorites list is ridiculous because he lists a whole series of movies that would end at the 1st Ghostbuster movie. Ignoring the general shittiness of the Transformers and Saw series.
/movie rant

Pretty sure Chris has never seen Krull. Family Guy made a negative reference to it in Meet the Quagmires, though it might have been towards Zapped! instead. It's been a long ass time since I've watched any episode of Family Guy.

I think that you might be right on the money with that. He lists a gay cowboy movie, the two Sacha Baron Cohen movies that feature male nudity, and the Crying Game. Krull is such a weird movie to stick on the end of that list unless every time he sees a cyclops he imagines a penis and he has to look away with a moment of being freaked out

 

[CWCissey]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

/movie rant

Pretty sure Chris has never seen Krull. Family Guy made a negative reference to it in Meet the Quagmires, though it might have been towards Zapped! instead. It's been a long ass time since I've watched any episode of Family Guy.[/quote]

I think that you might be right on the money with that. He lists a gay cowboy movie, the two Sacha Baron Cohen movies that feature male nudity, and the Crying Game. Krull is such a weird movie to stick on the end of that list unless every time he sees a cyclops he imagines a penis and he has to look away with a moment of being freaked out[/quote]

It was towards Zapped!. Peter wanted to see Krull instead of that.

 

[Big Bob Pataki]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Mailbags 36-39. His answers start off semi-calm, like this one in 36:

From: Caleb Feldman <feldman.c@mail.com>

Hi Chris!

Like you, I'm also an artist, except I'm employed as a police sketch artist. I'm not a cop, but I hang out with a bunch of them.

Anyway, part of my job is doing age progession, where we run somebody's photo through a computer simulation that sees what they'll look like in the future. It's pretty accurate, and we've used it to find a lot of missing children and such.

Out of curiousity I ran your photo through the computer and this is what you'll look like at 40, or about 12 years from now.

- Caleb

NOBODY CARES about that NOW. Although your time will not go unappreciated.

Take out the all-caps words and it would be a standard mailbag reply. But then the questions that caused him stress started piling up, and he turned into Tard-Rage mode, deleting more and more letters and answering with less words and more BLARGH ANGRY RAGE!@

Like this one from Mailbag 38 that he censored:

From: John Macgillian <johnmacgillian@yahoo.ca>

Hello Christian Chandler

My name is John Macgillian and first off I would like to thank you for your dedicated hard work on the comics. I thought I should take the time to ask you some important questions. Do people with autism attract homosexuals? A new study has recently been done in Canada at Guelp University, but the evidence is controversial. Also now that you and Alec B. Leary have teamed up and expanded Sonichu into a whole new universe have NEVER TEAMED UP and Alec is making a Mockery out of your comic and characters, Whats next? I would love to invest alot of money on Asperchu Sonichu merchandise for my chain of stores across Canada, could you possibly do that for me? I am a HUGE FAN!!!!!!! I must say I love the work you and Alec have been doing with Asperchu, the character roles that are laid out in the Asperchu comics are so dynamic and unique have done in your own comics ONLY on the Cwcipedia and NOT on any other website.

Anyways God Bless You

Your Friend John

Ciao

To answer your first question, NO! HE AND I ARE NOT A TEAM; HE is only ticking me off! Read My Edits to your letter.

Didn't even read the rest, he just raged at the Alec/Asperchu parts. And then the next letter:

From: Farrokh Bulsara <fm9546@yahoo.com>

Chris, it seems like everyone in the Sonichu fandom is leaving and going and reading Asperchu. I'm not a big fan of Asperchu myself but I can see why people are leaving.

Sonichu is getting too tangled, complicated and negative. I mean, there's people dying everywhere in Sonichu now! In the old days villains got a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha or beaten up but they weren't killed.

There are way too many characters, it seems like you added so many that you frequently forget they even exist and there are a lot of plot lines you brought up but haven't reso lved. I mean, when are you going to get Crystal out of the Dark Mirror Hole? Are you just going to leave your own twin sister in there and forget about her? That's awful.

Also, Rosechu and Sonichu have kids now and are married. Most series jump the shark when this happens, Sonichu is no exception. There's also too much porn. No one wants to see porn of hedgehogs in a children's comic, even if you like porn, hedgehog sex is still really gross.

The only way I can see you fixing the franchise now is to throw out everything and start fresh. Go back to the birth of Sonichu and go from there. You don't have to worry about characters you no longer care about or plots you don't care to resolve. You can bring back all the good stuff about Sonichu and get rid of the bad. Most successful franchises have done this. James Bond, Batman, Superman, Transformers, and many others too.

Or you could do nothing and have all your fans leave while you sit there alone making comics about Rosechu putting in tampons.

I am working on the plots at my own pace; I HAVE A LIFE OF MY OWN, and it is NOT YET COMPLETE; I NEED MY WOMAN.

Then there's Mailbag 39, when he all but loses it.

From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>

Chris-chan. Chris-chan.

This is the voice of your conscience baby...I just wanna check one thing out with you. You don't mind?

Chris-chan, honey, what's got into ya?

Oh, I don't know. How about a bunch of PEOPLE asking me OFFENSIVE QUESTIONS and making OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS constantly, CONTINUING TO MISLABEL ME and MY SONICHU WRONGFULLY, Trolls putting up OFFENSIVE ADVERTISEMENT IMAGES on MY Cwcipedia WITHOUT MY CONSENT, CONTINUALLY BEING RIDICULED AND TORMENTED. Can't I just be left be to draw Peacefully and NOT be OFFENDED, PICKED ON, MISLABELED, or TORMENTED, PLEASE?!!!

From: Sonny

Chris, I have a question.

You claim to respect women, but why is all of the (highly inappropriate) nudity in the comic geared towards men?

I know you don't want to turn women gay, y'know. So why haven't you put an equal portion of female-directed (highly inappropriate) nudity into the comic?

Not that it matters to me, because Alec doesn't bother with that disgusting shit in the first place (not turned on by hedgehog sex at all) and it greatly improve the quality of his comic as opposed to yours.

COME ON!!! BUGS BUNNY WAS NAKED; YOGI BEAR WAS NAKED; WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?

From: Chang Yu <drchangyu@yahoo.ca>

Dear Chris,

In an earlier response to a fanmail , you mentioned you had a simularity to the character played by Dustin Hoffman in the film Rain Man. Would you kindly mind listing your facinating abilitys? My daughter is autistic and a very big fan of your work, she has a gift with law and agues extreemly well in her law class, but unfortunately her speech impediment prevents some from understanding her. She wanted to ask you herself, but she has trouble writing and could not without my help.

FONDest regards

Chang Yu

sounds like a legit question he could easily answer, but what does he say instead?

I can not say right now, because I am stressed from having to CORRECT AND REEDUCATE PEOPLE ON ROSECHU BEING ALWAYS FEMALE AND SONICHU BEING STRAIGHT AND ASPERCHU NOT BEING MY CHARACTER!!!

and just before he screams into the camera, he has this to say about his cartoon gal-pal

From: Uava <uava.lidelduhk@gmail.com>

So in a recent comic you met up with Meg from Family Guy and you clearly like her. However, according to Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, she gets a sex change later on and becomes a male named Ron. You could say that Stewie changing the future would have prevented but at the end she meets a guy named Ron and hints that she likes that name. Also, transsexuals can't be changed according to most psychologists and the only way to make them feel happy is to let them to transition to their true gender.

You are obviously not a homosexual, so I was wondering what you will do about this situation when it comes up.

That was ONE possible Future, and IT was CHANGED after Stewie stopped the tower from falling. Meg never gets a gender change EVER.

yes, pointing out a plot he didn't like in the family guy movie made him stop answering mailbag letters and do this

[youtube]cQTIVB_Jyls[/youtube]

fitting end to an epic part of the mailbag saga if i ever saw one!

 

[Dreamatorium]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Someone claiming to be Bailey Jay contacted him through his mailbox? God damn that's good. I really need to read those when I get the chance.

Also, Bailey Jay is hot as fuck. and lol @ Chris calling her a 'hermaphrodite'

 

[Shadow Fox]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever seen (Chris changes "seen" to "heard") of and would never ever watch in your entire life?
A: Brokeback Mountain, Borat, Bruno, Crying Game, Krull.
Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?
A: Mary Poppins, All Transformers Movies, Both Ghostbuster Movies, All Saw Movies, The 40-Year Old Virgin.
Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?
A: Transformers (ALL Seasons and Sets), Sonic the Hedgehog (All Shows), Pok'emon (All Seasons), Mythbusters, Filmation's Ghostbusters (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE ORIGINAL REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

Of course all of his "worst movies" are ones that involve dang dirty homos and transsessuals. I also like that he places the Ghostbusters movies among his top GREATER THAN FIVE films but disses the Real Ghostbusters cartoon. Classic Chris.

And naturally, his favorite shows and movies are DA BEST HE'S EVER SEEN. Nevermind that they're almost all crap.

ETA: 200 posts and 100 thanks!

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

God damn do I hate this reply. Adding the seen to heard bugs me to no end. It's a simple question that was far from offensive and yet he had to change it to get out some homo/transphobia nonsense. Then he adds Krull which is just weird. A random 80's sci-fi/fantasy movie. Also his favorites list is ridiculous because he lists a whole series of movies that would end at the 1st Ghostbuster movie. Ignoring the general shittiness of the Transformers and Saw series.
/movie rant

Pretty sure Chris has never seen Krull. Family Guy made a negative reference to it in Meet the Quagmires, though it might have been towards Zapped! instead. It's been a long ass time since I've watched any episode of Family Guy.

I think that you might be right on the money with that. He lists a gay cowboy movie, the two Sacha Baron Cohen movies that feature male nudity, and the Crying Game. Krull is such a weird movie to stick on the end of that list unless every time he sees a cyclops he imagines a penis and he has to look away with a moment of being freaked out

So even Krull, the one he could have realisitically seen when Barb went bargain bin hunting, has a decent reason for him to not actually seen it.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

God damn do I hate this reply. Adding the seen to heard bugs me to no end. It's a simple question that was far from offensive and yet he had to change it to get out some homo/transphobia nonsense.

Me too. Everything with him is just about his little hate crusades. He knows nothing about those movies except that they have either gay stuff or penises in them, that's all they are to him.

Why hate Krull? I've never seen it, but isn't it like a Conan movie? Maybe there's a scene where a man is bare-chested or something. Again, that's all he sees in anything. He can't ever appreciate that someone else might have a message or idea that he didn't think of first.

 

[Picklepower]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Krull is such a random choice, maybe once he got Krull toys from da Good Will? LOL Like Chris has even fucking seen, The Crying Game.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Why hate Krull? I've never seen it, but isn't it like a Conan movie? Maybe there's a scene where a man is bare-chested or something. Again, that's all he sees in anything.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Why hate Krull? I've never seen it, but isn't it like a Conan movie? Maybe there's a scene where a man is bare-chested or something. Again, that's all he sees in anything. He can't ever appreciate that someone else might have a message or idea that he didn't think of first.

I have seen it, and I still don't get it. It was a pretty average '80s fantasy movie that involved a teleporting castle and a STRAIGHT love quest. The hero (who is not the shirtless cyclops) succeeds, with the aid of a magic throwing weapon that is weirdly referred to as a "glaive" despite its not being a polearm; he gets the girl and all that good stuff you'd think OPL would be in favor of. (Spoiler: Shirtless Cyclops Dude sacrifices his own life so that all of this can happen, close to the end.)

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

a magic throwing weapon that is weirdly referred to as a "glaive" despite its not being a polearm

Yeah, in the Blade movies he had a thing called a "glaive" for some reason too, even though it was just a dumb pizza cutter/throwing star thing.

 

[Male]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

I'm just curious, I know you're a patriotic American, how do you feel about President Obama's plan to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the military? As an openly homosexual person do you think you're going to join the forces and fight for your country? Also, are you going to have Sonichu join the military in your comics at any point once the repeal is in effect?

I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions.

So you say that you don't mind homosexuals and wouldn't mind associating with them, to wanting them to join the military to get killed in explosions. You are such a heartless bastard.
Just admit the fact you have always hated homosexuals, you've never meant anything positive you've said about them, you just said those things to make yourself look good.
But remember this, those "homos" that you hate with a passion, they are willing to die for their country, something you would never do. Those men are more man then you will ever be. You are nothing but a coward.

I am not a coward.

Why do people who "tick you off" deserve to die in explosions? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?

I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way.

"All Life IS sacred."
"I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way."

Oh really?

"Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."-You, Mailbag 48.

You've been caught in a lie. Game. Over.

I have respectfully retracted that past statement*, and I support the right for the homos to join and stay in the army. Go double-check that past entry now

Hey Chris, I was trying to think of the best argument to present to you when it comes to your blatant homophobia. You obviously hate homosexuals and have even literally wished death upon them quite recently, expressing your desire to have them killed in an explosion.

Firstly, I have respectfully withdrawn that statement about the gays in the army*, and I have a more positive opinion on them

"I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, Let Obama Repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions."

You just admitted that you want people to DIE because you don't like their sexuality.

Well, I think that settles it. You're a terrible person.

I am a lot nicer than that; you should hang out with me in person and get to know me better

*

I Am Straight. I would never join the military. Obama should Repeal the policy, although gay, they each have their own abilities, knowledge and experience technologically, combatic or anything great in the heat of the bloody battles. Power to the Gays in the Army."

Chris went as far as to edit Kenith's email so he can replace his hate speech with this.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

"I never said that! I'm saying something different now so that thing I said before never happened!"

Chris should try for a career in politics.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

a magic throwing weapon that is weirdly referred to as a "glaive" despite its not being a polearm

Yeah, in the Blade movies he had a thing called a "glaive" for some reason too, even though it was just an AMAZING pizza cutter/throwing star thing.

Fixed.

 

[Furina]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

a magic throwing weapon that is weirdly referred to as a "glaive" despite its not being a polearm

Yeah, in the Blade movies he had a thing called a "glaive" for some reason too, even though it was just an AMAZING pizza cutter/throwing star thing.

Fixed.

The Predators use a glaive too. I like theirs more.

 

[Stuff and Things]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever seen (Chris changes "seen" to "heard") of and would never ever watch in your entire life?
A: Brokeback Mountain, Borat, Bruno, Crying Game, Krull.
Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?
A: Mary Poppins, All Transformers Movies, Both Ghostbuster Movies, All Saw Movies, The 40-Year Old Virgin.
Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?
A: Transformers (ALL Seasons and Sets), Sonic the Hedgehog (All Shows), Pok'emon (All Seasons), Mythbusters, Filmation's Ghostbusters (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE ORIGINAL REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

God damn do I hate this reply. Adding the seen to heard bugs me to no end. It's a simple question that was far from offensive and yet he had to change it to get out some homo/transphobia nonsense. Then he adds Krull which is just weird. A random 80's sci-fi/fantasy movie. Also his favorites list is ridiculous because he lists a whole series of movies that would end at the 1st Ghostbuster movie. Ignoring the general shittiness of the Transformers and Saw series.
/movie rant

I hate this reply too, and also, Brokeback Mountain is a really good movie, way better than all the saw movies, the stupid transformers movies, and that stupid, stupid movie of the 40-year old virgin that he loves so much just because, "it teaches how frustrating can be the life of a man that is still virgin at that age" (he considers it an educational movie, just like porn ) god dammit chris...

 

[Male]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Q: What are the 7 best movies you have ever seen?
A: Mary Poppins, All Transformers Movies, Both Ghostbuster Movies, All Saw Movies, The 40-Year Old Virgin. Smiley, My Little Pony: Equestia Girls

Fixed

 

[applecat]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

"I never said that! I'm saying something different now so that thing I said before never happened!"

Chris should try for a career in politics.

No, he Prefers the Simple Life.

 

[A Random]

Re: "Your thoughts have been inputed"-OPL's best mailbag rep

Krull is such a random choice, maybe once he got Krull toys from da Good Will? LOL Like Chris has even fucking seen, The Crying Game.

Maybe he was confunding it with Zardoz, the Sean Connery movie about the evils of the penis, Sean Connery's shirtless body, and... well, what else IS there about Zardoz?