Harriette Potter and the Order to Stay Late After Potions Class.
Lets not go there. The amount of weird fanfic it would spawn by perverts is not to be considered.
On the subject of Malfoy redemption, I've only seen the films but I thought he should have ended up with Hermione. First off, her and Ron is a terrible, terrible pairing. He is shiftless and wants to spend his Saturday afternoons drinking butterbeer and watching the Quidditch. She wants to work diligently on her career at the Ministry of Magic. They have different life standards and there will always be frustration and strife. Would not even think they're each other's type sexually, to be honest. He's more of a sexy barmaid sort of guy and she's more of a high-standards man who takes charge type, by my reading. Intellectual over-achieving girls usually are. So take Ron out the equation. Malfoy? Ambitious, connected, and importantly contrite over his former treatment of her. A post-humbling Malfoy who has lost his entitlement but still has his ambition and breeding, would be a very good pairing for her. And in a literary sense would provide a very visible and meaningful redemption, as well as be a more interesting romantic and emotional journey.
Rowling said that she planned Ron and Hermione to end up together early on but their characters didn't really work out that way as she wrote more, and that she regrets sticking with the original plan and not changing it. She's never said that Hermione should have ended up with Malfoy, but the redeemed villain turning to good at the end, works well. Their relationship would be sparky, but they'd compliment each other.
Never ask a wizard supremacist the mudblood status of his girlfriend.
