Horrorcow Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride / Hat Box / Old Uncle Anime - Con Artist, Abuser, Sexual Harasser, Drove Alec Holowka to Suicide.

[Monster Energy Drink]

Brote has had his entire life nuked by some troon with a grudge. He needs a win right now, not another reason to kill himself.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

I would go on a date with Zoe and awkwardly bring up the kickstarter over and over saying "You know.... a ton of queer and PoC vulnerable people were hurt by the abandonment." While making sure every cellphone is pointed and on so when she attempts to glass me, I can claim she called me a racial slur as I suplex her into the bartop. Lol.

 

[ggalin]

I would go on a date with Zoe and awkwardly bring up the kickstarter over and over saying "You know.... a ton of queer and PoC vulnerable people were hurt by the abandonment." While making sure every cellphone is pointed and on so when she attempts to glass me, I can claim she called me a racial slur as I suplex her into the bartop. Lol.

or tell her that you were friends with alec, when is she finishing the kickstarter, etc

 

[White Devil]

I would go on a date with Zoe and awkwardly bring up the kickstarter over and over saying "You know.... a ton of queer and PoC vulnerable people were hurt by the abandonment." While making sure every cellphone is pointed and on so when she attempts to glass me, I can claim she called me a racial slur as I suplex her into the bartop. Lol.

I hope you take that bitch to McDonalds or something because you know she's going to expect you to pay.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Yeesh, imagine having no luck on OKCupid for days or weeks, and then you finally get a match

And it's Zoe Quinn

I'd probably call it quits and shoot myself. Would save everyone the time and effort of getting her hounds on Twitter to try and kill me since that's all her meaningful relationships end up as.

 

[ggalin]

zoe looks like she smells like cheap l’oréal hair dye, dog ass and cheap booze and i would not have sex nor go on a date with her

 

[RodgerDodger]

How the fuck did this fat ugly psychological trashfire end up as the gaming industries bicycle? I mean you almost gotta respect the Blizzard devs and their “Bill Cosby Suite” if just because it meant they had some self respect and weren’t banging this fat whore alongside everybody else.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Just read her OKCupid profile (Didn't even know that existed still and that people still need such sites). If she wants to get into cosplaying just get yourself some Worbla and some Cosclay. Use the 3d printer for any small greebals a costume needs. I get that being lazy is her MO but come on now.

 

[Least Concern]

Just read her OKCupid profile (Didn't even know that existed still and that people still need such sites).

Yes, people still like to find sex partners for some reason.

Heard of Tinder? It and OkCupid have the same parent company. Even if OkCupid itself isn't making as much money as it used to, it should still be able to go quite a while without having to go out of business.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Yes, people still like to find sex partners for some reason.

Heard of Tinder? It and OkCupid have the same parent company. Even if OkCupid itself isn't making as much money as it used to, it should still be able to go quite a while without having to go out of business.

I used to go to these things called "pubs" to meet people and met my wife while grocery shopping with my daughter. Anyone I met through the internet were terrible people so never bothered with online dating. I like to not be around psychos after all and keep my kids safe.

 

[Least Concern]

I used to go to these things called "pubs" to meet people and met my wife while grocery shopping with my daughter. Anyone I met through the internet were terrible people so never bothered with online dating. I like to not be around psychos after all and keep my kids safe.

Sadly, not everyone has your standards, and the coof has limited IRL social opportunities recently in the first place.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Sadly, not everyone has your standards, and the coof has limited IRL social opportunities recently in the first place.

I'm also old and not into these fancy social gathering places called "dating sites" where people spill as much info about themselves in their attempt to get laid. Zoe should just go to her local animal shelter and get another pet if she needs more companionship. It's better than having another human being off themselves.

 

[Dickens Cider]

Speaking of dating sites if you wanna have real fun go to eharmony and do their personality profile. Try to be as much a nutjob as possible. I mean total psycho with no job looking for a sugarmomma to put you in a gimp suit and wipe your ass for ya. No matter how much you try they will somehow find you a match.
Obviously OkCupid has the same algorithm.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Speaking of dating sites if you wanna have real fun go to eharmony and do their personality profile. Try to be as much a nutjob as possible. I mean total psycho with no job looking for a sugarmomma to put you in a gimp suit and wipe your ass for ya. No matter how much you try they will somehow find you a match.
Obviously OkCupid has the same algorithm.

So it's like Youtube trying to recommend me videos?

 

[Frosted Snowflakes]

How the fuck did this fat ugly psychological trashfire end up as the gaming industries bicycle?

Her ex-boyfriend caught her cheating on him with a total of five beta cucks working as "video game journalists" like Nathan Grayson for positive reviews on her shitty text adventure game.

 

[Starscreams Cape]

A lip ring is probably the trashiest piercing in existence, even compared to the "I suck dick" advertisement that is the tongue ring.

Lip rings have never in the history of the world made anyone more attractive.

 

[BuckBumble]

Keep in mind she's still staff for "Heartmachine", the Hyper Light Drifter/Solar Ash Kingdom devs. If the latter game comes out next month and she's still in the credits I sure as hell am not touching it with a 100 foot poll no matter how good it is (or maybe just pirate it).

 

[RembrandtCourage]

Her ex-boyfriend caught her cheating on him with a total of five beta cucks working as "video game journalists" like Nathan Grayson for positive reviews on her shitty text adventure game.

Was this one Alec or just another guy?

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I'd go on a date with Zoe Quinn, because back when she accused Alec Holowka of pretty much being Satan, if I recall correctly and am not mixing up my BPD whores she claimed Alec would reach down her pants and lead her around by her crotch.

I need to know how that worked. What was his specific methodology when he'd do this? I can think of two possibilities:

Option A would be something like this:

Just reach down the front, grab a hold, and drag her along. That would seem like the more immediate option, but I don't think it would be the smartest, and Alec seemed like a pretty smart guy (although not smart enough not to fuck Quinn, sadly). For more obedient diseased gutter sluts that might work, but for more difficult cases I think option B would be better:

If you reached down from the back and used a sort of bowling ball hold, putting two fingers in the fetid war crime Quinn calls her snatch and putting one's palm against the rest of her unwashed undercarriage, that would seem like it would provide a much firmer grip. You'd have to bend down a little bit to achieve it, but once you had a solid hold it would provide a lot of leverage.
Then if while you're going about your business the dangerhair blob senses that there's a man with a social media following around and starts wandering away after his dick, you could lift upwards using the entire side of your body, which would allow you to get control until you can redirect the landwhale's attention.

Then if you had to sit down, you could lift up and set her across your knee a bit like a ventriloquist dummy

That will ensuring that you can keep an eye on her so that she doesn't get into any trouble, since you don't want her to wind up drinking the establishment's entire liquor reserve or sucking off the maitre'd or whatever while you're looking away.

So I'd go on a date with Zoe Quinn just so I can ask and finally have closure, even if she'd still undoubtedly claim I violated her somehow despite the fact we were in public and I maintained a distance away the entire time (not because of Covid, but because a cloud of disease and hopelessness follows her wherever she goes).


For real though, she should have to have a disclaimer on any dating profile she uses. God forbid some poor asshole got matched with her and she learned he had some level of clout, because with how desperate she's become for attention suddenly that date would go from boring and unremarkable to a harrowing tale of near sexual assault by a far right agent of gamergate that she only barely managed to survive.

 

[H3LLH4MM3R666]

SA goons just noticed that Lowtax did a medium piece with Zoe Quinn, and are honestly confused. Why would someone as brave and moral as Zoe pair up with a creepy abuser like former site owner Lowtax? She was obviously manipulated, goons rationalize:

Lowtax - The Something Awful Forums

forums.somethingawful.com

One of Lowtax's abused exes chimes in to point out that Zoe is not only completely aware of his history, HELPED him with his court case, and actively sided against his past victims

This is confusing, especially for Zoe. Even as a cynical grifter, what the fuck is there to get from Lowtax? Is the BPD cycle that strong that she has to dive in the arms of every abusive scumbag? Does she honestly believe that all his past exes were just insane liars? I loved somethingawful as a teen in 2004 as much as she did, but this is pathetic. Lowtax is about to become the 6th guy in her life to give her PTSD and I cannot fucking wait for this ticking time bomb of a relationship to go off.

Maybe it's Lowtax playing the long game. Now the only way he can get away with abusing a girl is by claiming one with enough personality disorders and bad breakups that no one will believe her inevitable stories.