Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[Look over there]

Of course there's value.

Somebody's got to be the designated village idiot.

I think Chris is the world idiot rather than village.

 

[Altera]

And here, I thought that the jail time would knock him back to reality. What a fool I have been.

 

[Verxis]

No, seriously... what the fuck, Chris?

 

[King Kiwi]

The Messiah Saga

Please please can we call it this instead of the prison saga?

 

[Tikbalang]

And here, I thought that the jail time would knock him back to reality. What a fool I have been.

I realize even if the punishment is cutting off his hand, he would still never learn.

 

[Rupin]

And here, I thought that the jail time would knock him back to reality. What a fool I have been.

chris is a legitimate nutbag. Anyone who thought this stint in jail would knock some sense into him after all that he has done and has been locked up twice before (even if was for a couple days both times) is just fooling themselves.

 

[Tikbalang]

chris is a legitimate nutbag. Anyone who thought this stint in jail would knock some sense into him after all that he has done and has been locked up twice before (even if was for a couple days both times) is just fooling themselves.

Chris has been sperging jesus and merge shit, but describe his daily life in jail.
The first step to rehabilitate Chris is to realize that incest is unhealthy like his daily lifesfyle.

 

[A Pumpkin]

The Messiah Saga

I see that, but I raise you this.

The Crapture.

 

[The Big Dream]

My only hope for this saga is that he gets really into drawing his environment out of boredom. I reckon he would get into power fantasies where he parts the prison gates like Moses, or becomes the spiritual leader of the Aryan Nation.

Hopefully someone can become a reputable source for his drawings.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The Messiah Saga

We're still in the motherfucker saga.

 

[RodgerDodger]

When I learned about Chris, what amazed me was how the story always managed to get worse. He would do something which had to be rock bottom, only for the next page to somehow top it. It was like I was seeing the worst possible life a human could live continue to go downwards in a perfect negative trajectory, with the universe (and him) giving just enough reprieve to make the next fall feel as harsh as the last.

It took on an almost religious significance to me, because it really felt like if Chris' life had value, that meant all human life had value. He was as useless, pathetic, and corrupt as a person could get, the Cain of the new Digital Age; yet continued to exist in a world which had no interest in him beyond malicious laughter, which any sane person would see as deserved.

Claiming to be the Messiah is a weirdly fitting way for this to (hopefully) end, because if you can look at Chris now and believe they possess moral worth, I think that means you must believe in God.

You must be new here. That constantly getting worse just when you think they've hit absolute rock bottom is a common theme among the Lolcows documented here. Chris isn't even the worst of them in that regard. He occasionally has had some almost up moments. But Ethan Ralph? There's a man the universe is pissing on, justifiably so. Darkside Phil? Same. They are all human trashfires almost devolving into primordial creatures before our eyes.

The Messiah Saga

The Christ Chan Saga

 

[Alcalino9000]

Please please can we call it this instead of the prison saga?

Rather, it is one more chapter within this saga, chris has always had a messiah complex, the best we can do is wait ... OH we can send a letter, someone can send a letter to chris to have how I respond, CHRIS CAN STILL BE MILKED FROM PRISON XD

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

You must be new here. That constantly getting worse just when you think they've hit absolute rock bottom is a common theme among the Lolcows documented here. Chris isn't even the worst of them in that regard. He occasionally has had some almost up moments. But Ethan Ralph? There's a man the universe is pissing on, justifiably so. Darkside Phil? Same. They are all human trashfires almost devolving into primordial creatures before our eyes.

I noticed that it follows a pattern. When Chris is at the pinnacle of popularity or achieving something extraordinary for a retard, he does shit like this. It's almost as if the universe has a way of putting Chris in his place to outweigh the whiteknighting. Take note, anyone who wishes to whiteknight Chris; even God hates him.

 

[Tikbalang]

The Christ Chan Saga

What about Chris-Chanity saga.

 

[Cuntflaps]

I like the Christ Chan Saga and I hope it continues. It's a shame Chris had to fuck his mother and be jailed for it in order for this to happen, but isn't that a lot like Jesus being crucified and dying for our sins? I mean, it's practically the same thing.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

but isn't that a lot like Jesus being crucified and dying for our sins

No, Jesus sacrificed his earthly pleasure while Chris fucked his mom. Jesus did it for the world while Chris did it to bust a nut.

 

[Rupin]

The Christ Chan Saga is a good name for this period in Chris’s life. I’d say it started when he realized he wasn’t getting a slap on the wrist this time.

 

[Linako 2.0]

There’s no value in him.

Chris's value is that he's a warning sign for future generations on how not to raise their kids and for the youth to not end up like him.
His entire purpose is to be a cautionary tale.

 

[Cuntflaps]

Chris's value is that he's a warning sign for future generations on how not to raise their kids and for the youth to not end up like him.
His entire purpose is to be a cautionary tale.

That's probably true at this point. But all joking aside, some sick part of me still holds out hope for Chris even now. As terrible as all this is, he could still choose to move past it somehow and become a better person. What that would look like at this point I have no fucking idea, but deep down I want to believe this possibility exists, no matter how remote it may be.

 

[Glowie]

Please please can we call it this instead of the prison saga?

Spergery and hormones: Autistic Messiah by Ubisoft

Chris is full delusional after one year in prison. There is nothing but weapons grade autism from here on out.