The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[FreeCandyVan]

"Shotgunning" is when you blow pot smoke into someone's mouth by kissing them. It has nothing to do with actual guns.

An understandable mistake-- it's one of those rare times when Paul isn't sperging about guns.

That isn't what they mean. It is federally illegal to buy or possess a firearm if you also smoke weed.

 

[T.E.R.F]

I’m still behind and page catching all this bullshit but Kindness calling herself an “ambulatory wheelchair user” is making me fuckin lol. You could not script this level of deranged. Truth is absolutely stranger than fiction.

 

[The Final Troondown]

She’s a munchie though, and all munchies “have ehlers danlos.”

yes, but we've had confirmation that her sister has it and it is genetic

I can't find a better explanation of her body going downhill so hard in two years. maybe messing with her hormones kicked the condition into high gear. I doubt it's just test because she's showing very little signs of voice deepening, muscle hair growth or other virilisation symptoms

 

[AnOminous]

yes, but we've had confirmation that her sister has it and it is genetic

I can't find a better explanation of her body going downhill so hard in two years. maybe messing with her hormones kicked the condition into high gear. I doubt it's just test because she's showing very little signs of voice deepening, muscle hair growth or other virilisation symptoms

She still could have just decided she had it because her sister does and munchies can't let anyone outdo them.

 

[The Final Troondown]

Polyamory never works.

My money is on Penny supporting Bonnie to leave the ranch and be with Alyssa solely because then Penny doesn't have to deal with the petty squabbles in the short term. He may be hoping a few days will allow the dust to settle and then they can go back to starving alpacas to death and eating endless burritos cooked on their mangled plague ridden oven.

Well they all claim some flavour of communism
I bet sky's main objection isn't even the cheating, it's that bonnie is being a bad communist and not redistributing his pussy resources fairly between his comrades

we all saw the 'crush on your housemate' tweet, crazy BPD girls like this will fuck anyone for affection and security. My guess is it was suggested, she was happy to play along, the wolves started circling (see neck and j's tweets) and bonnie decided he didn't want to share his first actual vagina
do we have any evidence sky isn't interested in pussy besides being 'ace' like bonnie? You'd think if he were gay there'd be some evidence of them having sex in over two years but I can't recall a mention of it despite having their own quarters

 

[AprilRains]

yes, but we've had confirmation that her sister has it and it is genetic

I can't find a better explanation of her body going downhill so hard in two years. maybe messing with her hormones kicked the condition into high gear. I doubt it's just test because she's showing very little signs of voice deepening, muscle hair growth or other virilisation symptoms

Drug abuse and insanity explain it just fine.

 

[Trianon]

Oh my god, it truly is a schism:
View attachment 2577188
Thanks to his TRUE and HONEST family for supporting him, unlike SOMEONE!

Keep an eye on likes: this will tell us more on what side people are on. Surprisingly, Jarrod chose Bonbon's side.
View attachment 2577189

I'm not exactly convinced that Paul did much work on the tranch: he is fat as fuck with serfs for days. I'm guessing he mostly practiced guns and occasionally bossed people around while eating junk food, along with doing easier things like gear and supply runs.

I got the biggest grin on my face reading this. UH-MAZING.

"A place to heal." From what? The only thing this suggests is that he has to heal from the Tranch itself. The trans haven has failed its first and best recruit, and like a totally useless cult, they've let him wander off to begin rallying against them. Because that is where this leads under Kindness' influence.

 

[AnOminous]

I got the biggest grin on my face reading this. UH-MAZING.

"A place to heal." From what? The only thing this suggests is that he has to heal from the Tranch itself. The trans haven has failed its first and best recruit, and like a totally useless cult, they've let him wander off to begin rallying against them. Because that is where this leads under Kindness' influence.

So much for the vaunted and astroturfed troon "sanctuary."

 

[Bani]

That isn't what they mean. It is federally illegal to buy or possess a firearm if you also smoke weed.

It's federally illegal to possess marijuana in general.

Much like possession itself, the federal government seems to be leaving enforcement to individual states in situations where it is not involved directly. Since possession and distribution of cannabis is legal in Colorado, it's similarly lenient with when it coincides with gun ownership:

[SB19-093] clarifies that a person is not considered to be ineligible to possess a firearm pursuant to federal law nor considered to be an unlawful user of, or addicted to, a controlled substance because of the possession or use of medical marijuana pursuant to the Colorado constitution.

Paul could technically be arrested, but he's about as likely to be pursued as anyone else in possession of marijuana in the state of Colorado.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

What would bring the Ranch down?

Earls totally real alt right neo-Nazi army who show up in pick up trucks with A.R. 15‘s, and have a burning passion to kill trans people and all they do is stalk the ranch 24/7 whiles over inflating tires.

Or

A woman.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

we all saw the 'crush on your housemate' tweet, crazy BPD girls like this will fuck anyone for affection and security. My guess is it was suggested, she was happy to play along, the wolves started circling (see neck and j's tweets) and bonnie decided he didn't want to share his first actual vagina

If not wanting to share access to the puss puss (true and honest polyamory, guis!) Is Bonnie's reason for leaving the ranch, then he's gonna be disappointed; Neck is already making suggestions he might be chasing after them, and Alyssa will fuck anything that'll pay rent (or in general).

 

[KiwiFuzz]

If not wanting to share access to the puss puss (true and honest polyamory, guis!) Is Bonnie's reason for leaving the ranch, then he's gonna be disappointed; Neck is already making suggestions he might be chasing after them, and Alyssa will fuck anything that'll pay rent (or in general).

Mild disagree:

Shit rolls downhill.

Alyssa's brand of crazy is not the kind that gravitates towards a responsible rent-paying member of society. Her crazy is the kind that seeks out other, similar crazy.

If Bryan Loeper is going to have an in with her, it's because he's a fuckface who ditched two litters of kids to troon out, couch surf, seek griftbux, and fuck a tranny clown.

Together, they could whelp some spectacularly fugly children.

 

[safety math]

Together, they could whelp some spectacularly fugly children.

Which Bryan Loeper will proceed to abandon, thus perpetuating the life cycle of troons.

 

[Shovel Of Ammunition]

You retards should stop sperging out about how smoking weed and having guns is technically against the federal rules. You sound like when Kevin is complaining about how some transformer toy has some very slight continuity error.

 

[Lorgar]

We all knew deep within our hearts that the tranch wouldn't end dramatically but with everyone just getting bored of the cowboy larp and fucking off to do their own thing. Given their source of long term revenue (gofundme) has dried up. One of the head honchos with the most to lose does seem to have just fucked off to do his own thing the first chance he got. This looks like it may actually be the beggining of the end. I wonder who Penis will pick as his right hand man now? Wimper not a bang etc etc

 

[AnOminous]

You retards should stop sperging out about how smoking weed and having guns is technically against the federal rules. You sound like when Kevin is complaining about how some transformer toy has some very slight continuity error.

It's not "technically" against the law, it just flat out is. Lolcows do stupid things. Admitting to federal felonies on social media is one of those stupid things. You can "technically" do five years just for lying on the ATF Form 4473.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

You retards should stop sperging out about how smoking weed and having guns is technically against the federal rules. You sound like when Kevin is complaining about how some transformer toy has some very slight continuity error.

Nice double-standard; if the same could be said of Earl (or any other neighbor they have beef with), tranchers & their peons/acolytes would be screeching about it on every media outlet available; but not before dropping whole pocketfuls of change to any fed willing to listen. And there are a lot of willing ears in the ATF; they just have to be pricked with the right words.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

We all knew deep within our hearts that the tranch wouldn't end dramatically but with everyone just getting bored of the cowboy larp and fucking off to do their own thing. Given their source of long term revenue (gofundme) has dried up. One of the head honchos with the most to lose does seem to have just fucked off to do his own thing the first chance he got. This looks like it may actually be the beggining of the end. I wonder who Penis will pick as his right hand man now? Wimper not a bang etc etc

You look at the past three-ish weeks of soul reaping, manic pixie bangmaids, tranch rebellion, twitter wars, hysterical bathtub crytyping, discourse over spontaneous blindness, illegal owlscraping, and the Great Pussy Free-For-All of 2021 and you tell me to my face again that this isn't dramatic.

 

[AMHOLIO]

We all knew deep within our hearts that the tranch wouldn't end dramatically but with everyone just getting bored of the cowboy larp and fucking off to do their own thing. Given their source of long term revenue (gofundme) has dried up. One of the head honchos with the most to lose does seem to have just fucked off to do his own thing the first chance he got. This looks like it may actually be the beggining of the end. I wonder who Penis will pick as his right hand man now? Wimper not a bang etc etc

I'm still upset nothing has caught fire yet. Yet.

 

[cowisnow]

I’m still behind and page catching all this bullshit but Kindness calling herself an “ambulatory wheelchair user” is making me fuckin lol. You could not script this level of deranged. Truth is absolutely stranger than fiction.

There are people - usually older folks, or people with actual debilitating diseases - who can walk very limited distances, but anything more than just walking around the house or maybe to the corner, and they need a wheelchair.