are we still talking about whether we hate contra or tube more? for the record, i’m an american woman, and i prefer contra tenfold just because he has a brain capable of producing a unique thought and has a personality. tube has dead dog eyes and is not a real human being. he is just like every other “i’m definitely a nice guy and i’m so smart and deep” incel and every word thats ever come out of his mouth is calculated to poorly manipulate naive people and keep up his creepy pathetic facade. contra is a fucking mess but is significantly more creative and honest. also, contra gives off more “attempted date rapist” vibes, meaning he is less immediately threatening; vs tube who gives off straight up woman-beater vibes. in hand to hand combat i could easily defeat contra, but tube looks like a fat linebacker and seems like he could and would kill me for not sufficiently groveling in front of his majesty. the only way i could ever survive a battle to the death with tube is by outrunning him because he is so fat.
i really enjoyed reading this, it was like a fun text based version of none of those MS paint PT and Contra memes.
i wouldn’t be so sure about beating contra in a fight though, being only an inch or two shorter than philosophy tube.
she is also, let’s remember smarter and more creative than stupid fucking Tube who would only think to pummel- she might have some weird crafty secret weapon and/or move.
this ‘who in a fight’ episode is the most fun we’ve had for a while since stephanie sadded up the place with her obsession that could only be explained away by intense conspiracy.
i suppose it depends if this fight to the death was sudden or if the other party had fair warning.
yes i agree contras muscles and reactions will be fucked off all the opiates but so are mine, so that doesn’t help me. it’s just a lower octane, longer lasting more depressing fight.
it’s actually really hard to forcefully get someone with a needle other than into the muscle and that’s also difficult if you were grappling, and the things that would be dangerous and close at hand to use, like bleach, would be much less dangerous intramuscularly.
If contra uses a secret weapons it’s going to be a piano wire scenario. a really horrible way to die.
contra has long luxurious hair, often worn down and that is terrible in a fight. you can use it to completely control someone’s head movements. Also her long nails are a self own cos it just hurts when they came off.
Fighting the Tube would of course be slightly more terrifying than the tube at rest, which is already deeply upsetting.
he would use his army cadet fight /rugger bugger training and scream at the top of his lungs, maximum aggression at all times.
I think i’d probably just run, honestly i don’t fancy my chances.
which is ironic as i don’t want to try to kill contra even a tiny little bit as i low key love her.
(am woman from uk who nurses a passionate hatred for Tube and only Tube)
@UngluedSeahorse agree about it being weird that no one notices or says anything about his endless self congratulation on twitter. it’s like.. come on. they make me wince. sometimes when there’s not much response to them i like to think that everyone saw it but had no way of normalising it with a reply, so are just sitting there quietly while step by step, Tube does the lords work of turning more people against Tube.