I think she can't help herself. I also think her main persona is also 'fake' too, which is why she thought she was invulnerable because 'Bella' was just another fake sock too.
I think she never met herself, if that makes any sense.
Is the consensus that
@Bingbang54 actually was our mushroom princess? Given that she went dark immediately upon being called out it seems to point that way. Amazing to think Bella is reading my posts.
I know you can't help yourself, and your mental illness is overpowering, but if you were a normal person you really would fucking need a year or two off the internet to meet yourself.
If your problems weren't so profoundly set in stone by your illness I'd recommend doing one of those survival wilderness things, I bet Mike keeps telling you to go on one. You need to find out who you really are.