Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

You don't even have to make an argument like "these people aren't even capable of being self sufficient for a single day" or "I bet none of them know how to do house repairs, let alone wilderness survival."
The ~country~ has shit fucking internet, how are they supposed to play their Overwatch and make tik toks showing off their kawaii farm life when their speed is worse than dial up? And IDK how prevalent this is in the US but where I'm from if you live in a middle of no where shithole the chances of being eligible to receive most delivery services are mostly low to none, because either your address is fucked up or getting to your house is difficult. As for mail you usually put your address down as the small town grocery store or a municipality building, then you drive all the way there to pick it up yourself. But getting things like take out food is near impossible lol. So not only is their internet shit but they also lose the luxury of ordering more consoomables that can be delivered right to their doorstep, how are they supposed to manage (:_(
That's why medium and above sized towns are unironically kino. You get the community element of a town where it's small enough for people to know you, have most of the perks of living in a city (fast broadband, delivery services etc.) and typically you're in a decent position to drive to somewhere scenic whenever you want. It's like when people go on holiday and their place is magical and decide they want to live there, but the longer you stay in a place the more the illusion breaks as you realise conveniences don't exist.

Personally I'd love to live the rest of my life in Prague but understand that there's a LOT of things I take for granted that would be lost if ever I moved there, and that's a European capital city, imagine trying to move to some Hawaiian island or some tropical beach resort?
 
The ~country~ has shit fucking internet, how are they supposed to play their Overwatch and make tik toks showing off their kawaii farm life when their speed is worse than dial up? And IDK how prevalent this is in the US but where I'm from if you live in a middle of no where shithole the chances of being eligible to receive most delivery services are mostly low to none, because either your address is fucked up or getting to your house is difficult. As for mail you usually put your address down as the small town grocery store or a municipality building, then you drive all the way there to pick it up yourself. But getting things like take out food is near impossible lol. So not only is their internet shit but they also lose the luxury of ordering more consoomables that can be delivered right to their doorstep, how are they supposed to manage (:_(

Can confirm. I have shitty internet. My dad's place out by the mountains is infinitely worse. There's so many spots where I drive where I have no cell service. Hell, there's vast stretches of my country where you're going to be fucked if you break down because there's no service, so you better carry gas cans with you. And they changed our fucking mail routes again so now I have to drive 20 minutes to get a package when I used to drive around 12 minutes.

But you live to learn with it. Or, instead of indulging in electronics, you can sit on your deck with a book and read outside and enjoy the sun. That's some goodtimes afternoon shit, let me tell you what. You don't even need all that #cottagecore consoomerism to do it, just have an old lawn chair and a sunhat.

Wait, what am I saying? You need that shit! Otherwise, how will people know how cool and kitschy you are?

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It's literally looking into reallife Animal Crossing hoard towns.

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But isn't this all so COZY? Cluttering up small corners with shit, putting blankets outside on chairs which are probably never used. Putting houseplants in old birdcages? Oh, this is just such a quirky aesthetic! Definitely wholesome! But wait, you know what's more wholesome? The Froggy Chair from Animal Crossing!

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It's not complete without it being TRAAAAANS
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I don't fucking get it. I searched up Cottagecore Chair on tumblr and for some reason, the froggy chair kept coming up. Why? Why consoom this chair? The handmade stuff I can give a pass too, but then it just gets weird. There's an obsession with it I don't get and frankly, I don't want to know.

Just remember, if you're going to do something, set it up first with some quirky touches and maybe leaves/apples/pumpkins with open books and take a picture. Then go back on your phone all day.
 
Can confirm. I have shitty internet. My dad's place out by the mountains is infinitely worse. There's so many spots where I drive where I have no cell service. Hell, there's vast stretches of my country where you're going to be fucked if you break down because there's no service, so you better carry gas cans with you. And they changed our fucking mail routes again so now I have to drive 20 minutes to get a package when I used to drive around 12 minutes.

But you live to learn with it. Or, instead of indulging in electronics, you can sit on your deck with a book and read outside and enjoy the sun. That's some goodtimes afternoon shit, let me tell you what. You don't even need all that #cottagecore consoomerism to do it, just have an old lawn chair and a sunhat.

Wait, what am I saying? You need that shit! Otherwise, how will people know how cool and kitschy you are?

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It's literally looking into reallife Animal Crossing hoard towns.

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But isn't this all so COZY? Cluttering up small corners with shit, putting blankets outside on chairs which are probably never used. Putting houseplants in old birdcages? Oh, this is just such a quirky aesthetic! Definitely wholesome! But wait, you know what's more wholesome? The Froggy Chair from Animal Crossing!

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It's not complete without it being TRAAAAANS
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I don't fucking get it. I searched up Cottagecore Chair on tumblr and for some reason, the froggy chair kept coming up. Why? Why consoom this chair? The handmade stuff I can give a pass too, but then it just gets weird. There's an obsession with it I don't get and frankly, I don't want to know.

Just remember, if you're going to do something, set it up first with some quirky touches and maybe leaves/apples/pumpkins with open books and take a picture. Then go back on your phone all day.
Never seen those harry potter looking chairs in any country home. .The photos look more like they are from an upper class suburb home designed to look "rustic".

Authentic hillbilly lawn chairs are more like this
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For those unfamiliar:
I'm reminded of those Dianxi Xiaoge
See also, Liziqi:
Pioneer Woman

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[If image breaks, it's the swirly chair]
There it is again, that weird "This doesn't count" feeling.
I had to look it up (thanks Yandex) and found this thing is a "Diane Husson faux bois whirlwind chair" and it's made of concrete.
Here's how the artist herself describes her work: "In my world, each piece of furniture tells long forgotten tales of distant mountains, mysterious seas and secret gardens yet to be discovered."
Which, great, and I'll admit a lot of care clearly goes into her pieces, but there's this niggling feeling under my eyes that it's all wrong. There is no place where there exists a "real" version of that chair. The chair is a copy of an idea of a thing that doesn't exist, or never existed.
 
Can confirm. I have shitty internet. My dad's place out by the mountains is infinitely worse. There's so many spots where I drive where I have no cell service. Hell, there's vast stretches of my country where you're going to be fucked if you break down because there's no service, so you better carry gas cans with you. And they changed our fucking mail routes again so now I have to drive 20 minutes to get a package when I used to drive around 12 minutes.

But you live to learn with it. Or, instead of indulging in electronics, you can sit on your deck with a book and read outside and enjoy the sun. That's some goodtimes afternoon shit, let me tell you what. You don't even need all that #cottagecore consoomerism to do it, just have an old lawn chair and a sunhat.
Do you seriously expect them to step away from the internet and their phones for more than fifteen minutes and books? What are those?

I do agree with you though

Another thing I noticed about cottagecore is that a lot of them seem to identify as lesbians or something similar. There is this whole cottagecore lesbian meme thing going on. I don't get it.
 
I had to look it up (thanks Yandex) and found this thing is a "Diane Husson faux bois whirlwind chair" and it's made of concrete.
Here's how the artist herself describes her work: "In my world, each piece of furniture tells long forgotten tales of distant mountains, mysterious seas and secret gardens yet to be discovered."

That thing is concrete? Damn. It is funny that it came up when I searched Cottagecore, though. With no credit. Though I don't think the artists description really makes it better...

Joy the Baker Bakes Cinnamon Rolls with Ree DrummondVideo

I don't know what it is about Ree Drummond or like, Trisha Yearwood and those other Southern Women bakers, but they come off as very inauthentic. Maybe it's because they really play up that "Southern Charm" and "Small-Town Girl just Bakin' like Mama Taught" when I'm pretty sure they have more money than a good chunk of the State they live in and their hospitality is just for the camera. I remember flipping through one of those Pioneer Magazines and it didn't feel at all appealing. Like it was trying to be the next Martha Stewart magazine.

Which, for context, Martha Stewart magazines aren't just food. It's a mixture of Food & Lifestyle, which means it dictates how often you need to buy shit so you can reset your table. And this isn't cheap stuff they recommend to get the "Martha" look, this is stuff like $150 wooden platters. Or $1000 chair sets. And the Pioneer Woman magazine felt exactly like that, but like... more florals instead of stark whites.



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Cheap my ass. I looked up the reviews and some mentioned they chip very easily. I'll say they're cute, so she obviously knows her market, and I doubt buying the pasta bowl will break your bank. But add all these up, combined with the seasonality factor for the FOMO and that they're Wal-Mart Exclusive.. I can see women spending well into the $500 for these. Sadly.

Another thing I noticed about cottagecore is that a lot of them seem to identify as lesbians or something similar. There is this whole cottagecore lesbian meme thing going on. I don't get it.

I think that's because you can't like anything that's marketed at traditional heterosexual women, so you need to say IM QWEEEEEER to make sure everyone knows you're not enjoying it because it's normal women's shit. You enjoy it as a subculture as the LGBT so baking bread isn't Oppressive Patriarchy put on your by your Husband. You're baking because UwU I'm getting back to Mother Nature and making my own food for my Wife so we live a healthy, simplistic sapphic lifestyle.

It's the same thing with knitting/crocheting/cross-stitch, which was mentioned. You can't just knit a fucking toque and wear it. You need to knit the pride flag on it so everyone knows you didn't do something that's associated as a normal fucking woman's hobby. You did it because you're crafty, quirky, and GAAAAAAAAAAY. I think it's rarer to find someone in the needlecrafting hobby whose lesbian and you don't know it because they enjoy the craft and aren't obnoxious.
 
That thing is concrete? Damn. It is funny that it came up when I searched Cottagecore, though. With no credit. Though I don't think the artists description really makes it better...



I don't know what it is about Ree Drummond or like, Trisha Yearwood and those other Southern Women bakers, but they come off as very inauthentic. Maybe it's because they really play up that "Southern Charm" and "Small-Town Girl just Bakin' like Mama Taught" when I'm pretty sure they have more money than a good chunk of the State they live in and their hospitality is just for the camera. I remember flipping through one of those Pioneer Magazines and it didn't feel at all appealing. Like it was trying to be the next Martha Stewart magazine.

Which, for context, Martha Stewart magazines aren't just food. It's a mixture of Food & Lifestyle, which means it dictates how often you need to buy shit so you can reset your table. And this isn't cheap stuff they recommend to get the "Martha" look, this is stuff like $150 wooden platters. Or $1000 chair sets. And the Pioneer Woman magazine felt exactly like that, but like... more florals instead of stark whites.



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Cheap my ass. I looked up the reviews and some mentioned they chip very easily. I'll say they're cute, so she obviously knows her market, and I doubt buying the pasta bowl will break your bank. But add all these up, combined with the seasonality factor for the FOMO and that they're Wal-Mart Exclusive.. I can see women spending well into the $500 for these. Sadly.



I think that's because you can't like anything that's marketed at traditional heterosexual women, so you need to say IM QWEEEEEER to make sure everyone knows you're not enjoying it because it's normal women's shit. You enjoy it as a subculture as the LGBT so baking bread isn't Oppressive Patriarchy put on your by your Husband. You're baking because UwU I'm getting back to Mother Nature and making my own food for my Wife so we live a healthy, simplistic sapphic lifestyle.

It's the same thing with knitting/crocheting/cross-stitch, which was mentioned. You can't just knit a fucking toque and wear it. You need to knit the pride flag on it so everyone knows you didn't do something that's associated as a normal fucking woman's hobby. You did it because you're crafty, quirky, and GAAAAAAAAAAY. I think it's rarer to find someone in the needlecrafting hobby whose lesbian and you don't know it because they enjoy the craft and aren't obnoxious.
IMO this shit is ugly as hell. If you like it, your choice, but it reminds me of shit I saw in thrift stores growing up, and the fact it's mass-produced makes it weirdly kitchy.
 
Do you seriously expect them to step away from the internet and their phones for more than fifteen minutes and books? What are those?

I do agree with you though

Another thing I noticed about cottagecore is that a lot of them seem to identify as lesbians or something similar. There is this whole cottagecore lesbian meme thing going on. I don't get it.
Is like the left wing version of zoomers on /pol/ posting 1950s magazine advertisements going "this is what they took from you". All sorts of people have this fake romantic notion of country living based on media and aesthetic memes.
 
This is an Etsy seller that specializes in this aesthetic. There are thousands of them:
I really hate this labeling of everything with these Etsy labels and the Rae Dunn stuff. Spices? Sure. But some shit doesn't need labels. You can't tell which one is pepper? What bay leaves are? Oatmeal needs a label lest you grab the brown sugar instead? This looks like an Alzheimer patient's kitchen.

Just in general I find decorating with words creates so much unnecessary visual clutter. I can't remember if I saw this here first but it's still relevant, guy showing off his white mother's home:

Also, maybe it's just me, but I find it very jarring how quickly millennials transitioned to this millennial kitchen aesthetic. It's like overnight people started buying this tacky millennial kitchen stuff. But it's probably just my perception, I obviously don't put a lot of effort into my kitchen presentation. It's clean and I can see all the ingredients I need.

I'm also just burned out on millennial advertising in general. It's not enough to sell a pan, it has to be The Always Pan or The Perfect Pot. It's some DTC company that showed up out of nowhere with slick marketing and a creative background story, promising that it's totally different than your boomer parent's kitchen appliances. They didn't know what they were doing back then, but now Science has created the perfect thing that will make your cooking so much better. It is the only and the best thing that you will ever need. But it's just the same crap infomercials used to shill to our boomer parents with a slightly different coat of paint.
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So relatable uwu
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Away suitcases is another offender, pretending like they revolutionized suitcases and bags, everything starts with "The" like it's the only face mask in existence.
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I had to look it up (thanks Yandex) and found this thing is a "Diane Husson faux bois whirlwind chair" and it's made of concrete.
Ah yes, who doesn't want to cozy up with a warm blanket and a good book in a nice comfy concrete chair? I wonder if they've ever sat in a rocking chair - let's just say there is a reason they fell out of fashion imo.
 
But it's just the same crap infomercials used to shill to our boomer parents with a slightly different coat of paint.
This description also perfectly encapsulates the entire "Stuff off of [X] that you NEED"/"[X] finds"/"TikTok Made Me Buy It" phenomenon. They're just micro-infomercials:
(This once includes the Pokemon oreos, and "the aesthetic" at 2:52)
 
This description also perfectly encapsulates the entire "Stuff off of [X] that you NEED"/"[X] finds"/"TikTok Made Me Buy It" phenomenon. They're just micro-infomercials

The only thing I could understand was the wheels if you had hardwood. The rest was just garbage. I especially hate the girl going BITTTTCH over keychain lipgloss. Like I hope that shit explodes on your keys and you can't get it off.

I'm also just burned out on millennial advertising in general. It's not enough to sell a pan, it has to be The Always Pan or The Perfect Pot. It's some DTC company that showed up out of nowhere with slick marketing and a creative background story, promising that it's totally different than your boomer parent's kitchen appliances. They didn't know what they were doing back then, but now Science has created the perfect thing that will make your cooking so much better. It is the only and the best thing that you will ever need. But it's just the same crap infomercials used to shill to our boomer parents with a slightly different coat of paint.

A different coat of paint that has stuff like Relatable AF written on the sides.

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But First, Coffee, amirite girls?
 
I think that's because you can't like anything that's marketed at traditional heterosexual women, so you need to say IM QWEEEEEER to make sure everyone knows you're not enjoying it because it's normal women's shit. You enjoy it as a subculture as the LGBT so baking bread isn't Oppressive Patriarchy put on your by your Husband. You're baking because UwU I'm getting back to Mother Nature and making my own food for my Wife so we live a healthy, simplistic sapphic lifestyle.

It's the same thing with knitting/crocheting/cross-stitch, which was mentioned. You can't just knit a fucking toque and wear it. You need to knit the pride flag on it so everyone knows you didn't do something that's associated as a normal fucking woman's hobby. You did it because you're crafty, quirky, and GAAAAAAAAAAY. I think it's rarer to find someone in the needlecrafting hobby whose lesbian and you don't know it because they enjoy the craft and aren't obnoxious.
That makes sense, that is actually why I prefer to just stick to knitting and crocheting groups IRL because people are so much nicer and don't care where you shop or what you make or anything. It also depends on what you knit/crochet. I found those who crochet with thread are generally not at batshit and cancerous as the people who make primarily amigurumi. People into tatting are also pretty chill since there is a bigger learning curve and is less mainstream.
 
Do you seriously expect them to step away from the internet and their phones for more than fifteen minutes and books? What are those?

I do agree with you though

Another thing I noticed about cottagecore is that a lot of them seem to identify as lesbians or something similar. There is this whole cottagecore lesbian meme thing going on. I don't get it.
Male homonationalists want to purify the race and send all the ethnics to camps. Female homonationalists just want to be comfy and left alone.
 
Never seen those harry potter looking chairs in any country home. .The photos look more like they are from an upper class suburb home designed to look "rustic".

Authentic hillbilly lawn chairs are more like this
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Usually most of them are also faded to shit and covered in dirt/grime because nobody every brings them into cover, also for whatever reason always drenched in water so they're never actually useable unless you wipe them down or use a towel. Bonus points if it's been out there so long they're more rickety feeling them normal and feel seconds away from shattering underneath you.
 
Usually most of them are also faded to shit and covered in dirt/grime because nobody every brings them into cover, also for whatever reason always drenched in water so they're never actually useable unless you wipe them down or use a towel. Bonus points if it's been out there so long they're more rickety feeling them normal and feel seconds away from shattering underneath you.

Have you been on the chairs in my yard :oops:? If you have, can you sign this waiver saying you won't sue me when one of my chairs breaks?

That makes sense, that is actually why I prefer to just stick to knitting and crocheting groups IRL because people are so much nicer and don't care where you shop or what you make or anything. It also depends on what you knit/crochet. I found those who crochet with thread are generally not at batshit and cancerous as the people who make primarily amigurumi. People into tatting are also pretty chill since there is a bigger learning curve and is less mainstream.

It's easier online to be snobby about stuff than real life, especially if you join a group made up of different types of women. Sure, there's always that Karen who runs into Michaels/Craft Stores at 9am to shovel certain types of on-sale wool into their cart, but most ladies I know are very lax/stingy.

But the internet...

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I'm sure there's worse examples out there. But this is what I found after a few pages of tumblr.
 
This "Cottagecore" trend is so fucking strange to me by itself, but now people are getting bored of it and spinning it into shit like "Forestcore"


These women who make these animal crossing islands are great examples of this shit, all these "Cottagecore" islands are so crowded and they look like a pain in the ass to move around in, and cluttered having to constantly weave your way through bushes and trees and shit. It's like these people forget there's a game underneath all this shit.

It's all fucking millenial women, and it's clearly just a trend people are going to grow even more tired of, this shit barely existed in any animal crossing space prior to New Horizons. It's a trend in real life too, as people have noted, but I find the animal crossing side of it so, so strange.

Found a funny video while looking through this shit.


This is what animal crossing has turned into, millenial women who have loading screens give them "anxiety" and want the game to be worse off for it by advocating for keeping features from the previous installment removed in favor of the bullshit RNG mechanics.
[/SPOILER
 
I also blame Stardew Valley for Cottagecore as well. Those Cottagecore people looooooooove Stardew Valley especially since the whole premise is you leave your boring job in the city to go live on a farm you inherit in the country and there are a ton of farming sim games inspired by it. Mostly because they are salty you can't choose your pronouns and have same sex marriages in Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons (though more recent games allow "best friend ceremonies" I guess in Tumblr language that would be queerplatonic?)..
 
This "Cottagecore" trend is so fucking strange to me by itself, but now people are getting bored of it and spinning it into shit like "Forestcore"

It's why making a separate thread seems sort of pointless. Everything has a -core prefix now (Metalcore, Kidcore, Queercore, Epsteincore, etc.) but I doubt the dumb trend even has the legs to survive past a couple years. Especially since I saw a commercial for some stupid boomer magazine called Zoomer talk about Cottagecore. And once boomers get into stuff, millennials ditch it like it's the titanic sinking.

It's still irritating to see the stupid hashtag, but I'm waiting for it's inevitable death once tiktok decides some other stupid shit is trendy.

This is what animal crossing has turned into, millenial women who have loading screens give them "anxiety" and want the game to be worse off for it by advocating for keeping features from the previous installment removed in favor of the bullshit RNG mechanics.

The entire point of the original Gamecube game was to force you to slow down, take your time enjoying your town and growing flowers while doing activities, and making friends with the NPCs. Some who move out without a given notice, leaving their parting bittersweet if you became friends. I don't recall it ever being massively popular, but it was cute to play. Same with Wild World, same with CityFolk, and New Leaf I gave a copy to my mum since she liked the series. And even she's mentioned the game is lacking from the previous ones. My boomer mother complained the previous game was better.

It doesn't help that there is a consoomerism aspect outside of the game. I mean, there's a whole insane economy inside from websites like Nookazon, but the Kiwi Farms AC Thread is a better place to ask about that. For the tangible, Animal Crossing has its own line of consoomable crap. And boy howdy, do people consoom it.

To start, Animal Crossing never really had merchandise until City Folk. Because that's around the time that the movie came out, if I recall. It was Japanese-only, but the characters in it got their own little toys and whatever because of that. Apollo, Brewster, Sable, etc. When New Leaf rolled around, Nintendo found a better face for AC merch: Isabelle. Because furries really, really wanted to fuck her. There still wasn't a lot, but Isabelle definitely was popular, so she started showing up on more things.

Then came the amiibo cards. it corresponded to the forgotten AC game: Happy Home Designer. You got these amiibo packs, hoped to get some good villagers which you used with some device and got the animal in the game to design their house. New Leaf then updated that if you had these amiibo cards, you could bring villagers into your towns. No longer did you have to rely on internet forums to get the highly wanted animals like Julian, Marshall, and .... Ankha.

Anyways, the packs weren't cheap but they weren't expensive either. But note, there was over 400 animals at this point. So there was a lot of cards to get. On eBay, the ugly villagers and undesirables went for pennies, while the high end ones went up to $100. Marshall in particular.

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You could either play the gacha game by buying multiple packs or purchase him - and only him - on eBay. By this time in New Leaf's life, only the hardcore players were still around. The ones who actually made QR Codes, had perfect towns with Perfect Fruit trees, and did their dailies every day. So the amiibo cards were only really collectable to them.

Then came New Horizons. And, well. Yeah. AC became popular. I'd say 100 times more than New Leaf. And of course, with the popularity, Nintendo sees dollar signs.

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And those amiibo cards? Exploded so much and scalped, Nintendo had to re-release them. Because hey, THEY deserve that money. You're supposed to spend hundreds on them to find your stupid squirrel boyfriend.

But yeah, here we are. You've probably see some of this stuff in those Gamer Girl Tiktoks. It's now a Wholesome UwU Brand to consoom. Get two Switches - an Animal Crossing one and then another to decorate with Console wraps. Get the controllers. Get the amiibos. Get fucking everything. Only the biggest AC fans would have all that shit, after all.
Not play the game long past when everyone loses interest.

Anyways, it doesn't surprise me millennials are complaining about the most watered-down entry into the series wrecking their Cottagecore aspirations. I'm sure if they played the old games were the villagers straight up called you stupid, they'd have a mental breakdown.

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This isn't very uwu cottagecore of Gracie.
 
@whitepumpkin (no reply button)
Anyways, it doesn't surprise me millennials are complaining about the most watered-down entry into the series wrecking their Cottagecore aspirations. I'm sure if they played the old games were the villagers straight up called you stupid, they'd have a mental breakdown.
The villagers were my favorite part of the old games and one of the reasons New Horizons was so dissapointing, not only were they just, better in the older games, but they had more than 5 lines of dialogue, New Leaf had showings off this problem but it was an early 3ds game and it got rectified by the big amiibo update so it's really hard to look at New Horizons and call it a definitive entry.

Sure, you can customize it and make it "cottagecore", but in the process you're leaving, well, the core of Animal Crossing behind.

<the stuff about the merch people consoom>
As somebody who started with Wild World this fucking confuses the hell out of me, to sound like a boomer, back in my day, you got the game and that was it, and you played it without needing or wanting anything else. You didn't buy two switches, you didn't buy fucking amiibo cards, you just played the game.

The fanatacism with the new wave that NH brought genuinely shocked me when I first saw it, because that was the first time I had seen rampant consumerism to that level. All these women obsessing over Cottagecore and Raymond.
In other words, give me back the times where you just bought the fucking game and it was good, and not a trend.
 
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