Tell me about the worst neighbours you've ever had or heard of.

I work in the business of dealing with bad neighbors so I could talk about shitty neighbors all day but the one that comes to mind is we have a peeping Tom in one of our communities and he hates his neighbor and specifically his neighbors kids and whenever they go outside to play he blasts an insanely loud alarm until they go in side. The peeping Tom stuff is unrelated but fuck that guy. One time he accidentally emailed me from a different email than normal and I googled it and found all these posts in college newspaper classifieds for “free photography for your modeling portfolio”.

I’ve had to talk to him about the alarm and the mental gymnastics he’s gone through to justify that that is the right way to deal with a neighbor to neighbor dispute is mind boggling.

I also regularly have to deal with explaining to adults that if their second story condo has a leak and is flooding a downstairs unit they can’t just…not do anything. Imagine having your ceiling caving in and water raining down and ruining everything you own because some asshole won’t fix their tub overflow mechanism.

during the beginning Covid I had a person try to get me to tell the community that no one was allowed to walk on the sidewalk near their backyard so their elderly mom could sit outside. Nigga your backyard is bigger than 6x6 ft and also go fuck yourself.

Uhh I’ve also got a lady who thinks the landscapers are attacking her and blowing Covid and rat poison into her windows. They won’t go within a block of her house anymore and she still sends me photos of them down the street minding their own business and calls it a physical assault.

I’ve also got a woman whose downstairs neighbor is prob going to try to rape her. He’s a real creep and flies off the handle and bangs on the ceilings and walls screaming if she makes any noise during regular business hours and then he stays up until 4 am loudly working out blasting music or having loud bdsm sex. After he freaks out and screams at her he goes up and demands she drink wine with him and then gets weird and aggressive when she says no. I’ve told her to call the cops multiple times.

Oh also, probably my favorite incident was the pasta bandit. At one community just piles of pasta started showing up in random places and I had to send an email to everyone being like “hey can you…not leave piles of pasta out?” I’m guessing they were feeding animals but there are no animals whose diets include plain macaroni.

I could go on and on
 
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there's a woman who lives in the house opposite mine, who's earned the nickname "crackhead" in our family, for obvious reasons. a couple of years ago, she was swatted after a huge party, and just a year back, some ex of hers threw a brick through her front window and drove his car into the fence on her lawn, shortly before being arrested.

she also used to make my dad babysit her barely trained, neglected staffy whenever she was out of town. a couple of days ago the back of her house caught fire. she's a pain in the ass and i honestly can't wait for her to either move to a lower income neighborhood or finally get done for something.

i have a next-door neighbor who's a little more manageable, but a handful of years ago, she asked for a box of painkillers for a migraine. i gave her one and sent her on her way, but she then promptly took them all and vomited on my front porch before insisting she was fine and going back to her house.
 
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Noisy older nigger lived above, liked to blast his nigger beats late at night, like 3 in the morning. He had this real creepy quiet way of speaking until he got pissed. Had dreadlocks and looked like a bum. I thought he was in his 20's or 30's but he was like 45 or something, lived alone with his dog, went chimpy after we asked him to turn his nigger beats down. He started doing weird shit, coming down into the yarded area for our suite at night and just sitting there in the dark staring.

Would come down and stand outside our windows at night, came close to getting into a fight with him over it one night. Admitted he used to stand outside the same window when the previous tenants lived there, that room used to be a little girl's bedroom. Tried siccing his dog on my cat. Had huge rage issues. We heard him just screaming like a maniac at his sister a bunch of times when she visited him and the landlord when she called him after we finally had enough and complained.

Pretty convinced I heard him rape and murder an autistic boy that he used to occasionally look after. Kid was there one day, heard noises upstairs that were unmistakable bed spring bouncing noises, about an hour later the nigger's hosing down his balcony and half his living room, there's like a waterfall pouring down, kid never comes back after that point. I really hope i was just mishearing...but fuck i dunno...

Dude had this fat white fuck pig who'd show up around 9 or 10 at night with like 5 people's worth of fast food, would make her leave at like 2 or 3 in the morning.

One of the creepiest, chimpiest niggers i've ever had the misfortune of enduring. Dude still wigs me out thinking back on it all.
 
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I live in a huge, decrepit old duplex and everyone who lives here is a fucking degenerate. On more than one occasion I've found trash stuffed in my mailbox-food wrappers, crushed beer cans, empty cigarette packs. Somebody was shitting in the stairwell for awhile, too. That stopped once the security door was fixed in a way that made it swing shut behind anyone entering/exiting (before, you could leave it standing open, which would imply it was vagrants who were ducking inside to take a wet shit, but I still don't put such a disgusting act past any of the fucking losers who live here). A few months back the assholes above me overcooked the shit out of some food (I'm guessing they threw something in the oven and passed out after spiking some heroin) and the fire department showed up because the building's fire alarm went off. It's also thanks to one of my neighbors (or several of them) that I get bed bugs occasionally making their way into my unit. I want to get the fuck out of here but with a serious housing shortage, I'm stuck here for now.
 
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Whatever the upstairs apartment did annoyed me to no end and nothing of what they did made sense, who starts to authoritatively stomping around in high heels at 3am and other random times? Turns out it was an apartment brothel, my theory is that it was niched towards something BDSM because other than the heels and dragging equipment around, things that resonated through the concrete, not much could be heard.

It was kind of a big deal when they got busted and I only learned about it when watching the news one day and they were filming outside of my building.
 
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A gf used to have an evangelical christian cult as neighbors and they were awful, i thought maybe she was exagerating but then i stayed there and got to experience it. You could be trying to sleep at 2 am while those niggers were going apeshit blasting huge speakers full volume and wailing, screaming and crying thinking they are posessed or being exorcised or whatever it is they do, during the day they leave recording on full volume asking for gibs and telling people who don't joing them that they will go to hell. They ran that circus day and night and no rest was possible. Of course everyone in the residences she lived in and the nearby neighborhoods who was not a cultist hated their guts but the pastors had police and gang members as partners in their racket so no ammount of complaints would do and lots of people who organized to complain got threatened.
 
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Agent Abe Caprine said:
I lived right by a sex offender when I was a kid. Thankfully, he never molested me. Maybe he did and I've repressed the memory.
Click to expand...

This reminds me that when I was a kid one of my neighbors legit tried to kidnap me. That’s probably the worst neighbor I’ve ever had.

I was prob 7-8 and I was riding my bike with some older neighborhood kids who didn’t really like me and a minivan pulled up on us quick and from the drivers seat they reached back and flung the van door open. The other kids sped off but for some reason I stopped.

The guy looked at me and said “oh my god, I can’t BELIEVE you’re out here riding without a helmet on! Get in my car right now, throw your bike in and we are driving straight to your house so I can talk to your parents! This is unbelievable”

Making it even spookier the seats in his van were already removed to allow for my bike to fit so obviously this guy had planned this approach and went out hunting that day.

We actually were in front of my house but I didn’t want this guy to know where I lived so I sped off and went around a corner and hid behind a bush like an idiot. I think the dude was freaked out because I caused a scene so he went up to the front door of the house and was like “hey I think I scared your kid” and they were like “that’s not our kid” and I jumped back on my bike and rode home and told my mom who was confused but grabbed a knife and went outside anyways lol but he was gone.

He had a recognizable car so I know he only lived a few streets over. I heard later that he went to prison for sex crimes against kid and someone even said they found bodies in his yard but idk if either of those things are true. Probably the first part at least, given that he tried to abduct me.

That is 1 of 2 times someone tried to kidnap me on the street. I guess I looked like a very fuckable child.
 
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