Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

Get home from Church today and even lit a candle and said a prayer for Chris today and I come home to this.

I really just am at a loss for words. I have no punchline.
I've got one for you and Chris. Play stupid games - win stupid prizes.
 
How many of you wanna bet his praying mat looks similar to this and he bought it for da pretty colors!?

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♫"Now I know my ALLAH-Bee-Cees, next time won't you go KABOOM with me?"♫

Will he get away with raping Barb by continually acting like he's Jesus? Granted, it only seemed to start when he was actually jailed.
I think it's less acting like Jesus to get out of him raping his own mother, but more latching on to whatever escapist medium he has access to.


I don't know why I laughed so hard when I saw the autistic cross symbol Chris drew.
Also, what the fuck is the thing below it supposed to be? looks like a banana.
Expecting coherent art from Chris is like asking Twitter not to be offended by Dave Chapelle's stand-up.
 
Chris has never broken a sweat in his life, could you imagine the herculean task of getting him off his ass to put him to work on anything? Only this time the only things that might entice him is to buy more junk food.
Get him working at olive garden, at the end of this saga he will have plenty of experience tossing salads.
 
Wise men still seek him.
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Chris mentioned Malachi 3 in the last letter, but he brought up 4 as well in this one, and I think it contains a much more interesting passage:
For, behold, the day cometh, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, yea, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall burn them up, saith the LORD of hosts, that it shall leave them neither root nor branch. But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall. And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the LORD of hosts.
 
  • Knows you need to petition the president for a pardon
  • Begs for money for the canteen and to pay his bills. He desires better food and the mortgage paid.
  • Asks people to visit his lover so she isn't lonely
  • Remembers the names of characters, food, addresses
  • Wants to get out of there and hasn't disassociated from his body because he cares what happens to it
  • Is socially aware of jail life and realizes you need a "protector"
The letter is sane with external autistic ramblings around it.
 
I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many good Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this Jail of Fail. We presently have a genuine Turkish Prayer Rug and a deck of Playing Cards from the Commisary, along with very much appreciated Sports Bra, Socks with no holes, Earplugs, and a few other goodies.




Chris is someone's prison bitch confirmed.
Is it a Tumblr Blog or a letter from prison? Only his headmates may know.
 
There's always a theme with Chris in regards to his "letters". It's his autistic way of communicating, but at the end of the last sentence, it's always what Chris wants. Also, he's still adamant that what he did to Barb was necessary. Yikes. He's adjusting pretty well, but I can't believe the jail agreed to have Chris get a sports bra.
No one in the jail wanted to see his nasty man nipples through the state issued clothing.
 
Didn't he think typing it up, using spellcheck, and then printing it out would look less insane?
Chris has likely been more or less banned from using electronics the entire time.

There's a grim possibility that Chris was deliberately selected as the winner of that contest because it would make for a more glurgey news story for the company.
So in a way, they were really playing "America's favorite game"?
 
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