Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[LazloChalos]

Is anyone else upset, that Chris doesn't even seem miserable while being in jail for fucking his mom? Will there ever be a real "i fucked up" moment, or will he dive deeper into religious larping until he gets stabbed by a muslim? The whole prayer rug thing seems to spell disaster.

Again, narcissism. The only time he will show guilt, remorse or acknowledging wrongdoing is if it is convenient for him to do so.

When dealing with serious consequences (that he understands) he will just parrot out whatever he believes will get him out of trouble, often using whatever new buzzwords or concepts he has learned repeatedly.

Remember that in his intake papers the medical practitioner described him as insightful, logical and other qualites that most would find surprising.

Regardless of his delusions he is also extremely devious.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Again, narcissism.

Reminds me of how he spun the December 2014 incident to make himself look like an innocent victim.

In the END, I WAS the Victim; I did not cause the original provoking; The "Assistant Manager" Made the First Attack ONTO ME and Provoked my defensive response. I was Minding My Own Business; NOT Looking for Trouble, and then HE Startled Me, similar to a potential Rapist in a Dark Alley in a big city. ANY of you would have done the same as I Have in Defense AND Escape!

 

[Epic Fail Man]

Is anyone else upset, that Chris doesn't even seem miserable while being in jail for fucking his mom? Will there ever be a real "i fucked up" moment, or will he dive deeper into religious larping until he gets stabbed by a muslim? The whole prayer rug thing seems to spell disaster.

Calling his situation as being in a "Jail of Fail" and begging for Kengle to call Biden to get him out seems like something a person who is distraught would do.

I don't think he's having a good time tbh.

 

[Mason Verger]

There’s just no quit in this guy. He’s doubling down on the healing via rape defense. This trial.. whatever the fuck happens, has the real potential to be bananas. It’s leaning waaay more in that direction than some hushed, compliant, sweetheart of a plea deal. Haha he's shooting for a full pardon. I guess the statues and effigies can wait till after his release.

Crazy nigga just won’t stop for his own damn good, and it’s glorious to witness.

 

[Bulborb]

i swear every time i read his shit i feel like im constantly missing lines but nope that just how he writes

PS. i wonder how long his name will be by the end of his life

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I am hereby calling on Glenn Youngkin (GOP nominee for Virginia Governor) and Terry McAuliffe (DEM nominee for Virginia Governor) to include giving Chris the DEATH PENALTY in their campaign platforms. The first to do so would probably end up winning in a few weeks. And who the fuck knows, maybe Chris really IS THE SECOND COMING and his death will cleanse the 21st century and our future descendants of their sins. Cleanse it even more than the first coming. All the madness of the past decade of SJW bullshit, along with the wicked foundation of the past ~80 years of psy-ops, reversed instantaneously.

I'm pretty sure the question of "what will you do about Chris Chan" will be asked in their gubernatorial debate.
I wouldn't be surprised if Barb is writing them letter trying to get Chris back (if she's lucid enough to care).

 

[Aeon Path]

Is anyone else upset, that Chris doesn't even seem miserable while being in jail for fucking his mom? Will there ever be a real "i fucked up" moment, or will he dive deeper into religious larping until he gets stabbed by a muslim? The whole prayer rug thing seems to spell disaster.

I might be upset, but in no way I'm surprised. A display of guilt or remorse about anything besides getting caught would be as out of character of Chris as getting a job or writing an original story. It's not that he won't, it's just that he can't.

I can guarantee that, when the dust settles and he has spent a lot of time suffering the consequences of what he did, he won't remember the real cause of all of it as more than a footnote in his retelling of the events.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Yes, the pleasure bot 9000

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[The Hard R]

What could've helped that alternate timeline along is Chris not winning the sweepstakes.

This is a major contributing factor in his sense of entitlement more likely than not. It caused his graduation from average spoiled child to the delusions of grandeur that have led to many of the troubles he's gotten himself in to.

 

[Jeffrey Lebowski]

The dude fucked his mother what do you actually think debating about him not winning a Sonichu Award would change that in some alternative timeline? I bet you money this shit is a fixed event in history.

Please, prove me wrong with a time machine and the foreknowledge he fucks his mom in hand. I bet you can't stop it. 5$ where my autistic mouth is.

 

[Umaru Doma]

I really, really want to see Chris's prison drawings. Art by inmates, particularly the evil or insane ones, is always entertaining. I want to see Chris writing self-righteous "pity me" coping comics like John Edward Robinson, a serial killer you should 100% look up if you aren't familiar. Very sick guy, very interesting.

Here are some of his boomer comics, now imagine them with Sonichu:

 

[human trash]

The dude fucked his mother what do you actually think debating about him not winning a Sonichu Award would change that in some alternative timeline? I bet you money this shit is a fixed event in history.

Please, prove me wrong with a time machine and the foreknowledge he fucks his mom in hand. I bet you can't stop it. 5$ where my autistic mouth is.

a bullet would fix it

 

[Berserker Armor]

Tag yourself; second page character list edition:
I am Eric cartman

 

[veri]

this part was the funniest imo

 

[Jeffrey Lebowski]

Chris awaits to be walking amongst gods

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

Does anyone else notice that they share personal similarities with Chris despite his current level of depravity? For instance I also think that sexual intercourse with me has healing powers, except that I have never had sex with my own mother or any old lady. My personal belief is that every woman I've had sex with has had their chances of cancer and other afflictions lowered drastically, despite the fact that I have zero proof other than my own intuition. My sample size is 138 by the way, I have gotten laid a lot.

I also share some similarities with 2000s Chris (e.g. preoccupation with dates and their significance, idiosyncratic use of the English language) but I doubt I am autistic.

 

[John Merston]

Bob wasn't a retard. He had at least seven patents from when he worked for GE.

You can be a genius in scientific and technological matters and still be completely hopeless when it comes to things like social skills and not letting your child grow up to be a tard.

 

[purpleflurp]

After 2 months of jailtime, Chris has adopted the identity of Jesus Christ.

I can't help but think that this was the natural progression of things after 15 years.

 

[Big Forehead Turbo Manlet]

Posting so my soul is saved.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I can't help but think that this was the natural progression of things after 15 years.

From going on a "Love Quest" with "Attraction Signs" at "Attraction Locations" to incesting Barb.

what a strange journey it has been...