Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[the khat quaffer]

It's just as well, even if he had good SEO he'd just get a bunch of viewers dropping out. If they don't drop out at the chicken fart theme song, they'll drop when they figure out it's just some dumb fat boomer gawking at product labels and asking "HEY WHAT'S THIS???" He promises to explain why people are "nerds" for Aldi but all we get is that they have a clearance line of odds and ends, it's for "poor people" and they have quarter slots for shopping carts. Besides, there's already plenty of other videos about Aldi, like this one from Company Man:

I wonder if that GOD AWFUL chicken fart music was what was going through his oxygen-starved brain meat during either of the first two strokes. Because that's what it feels like every time I hear that. Like I'm being treated to the soundtrack of a stroke. Fucker made it out and decided to put his ordeal into musical form.

Just to troll him one more time they should play it as they lower his shipping container-sized coffin into the ground after #3. Since he has to fucking film everything he can have Tammy do it. One more Jack on the Go (to hell).

 

[p1138]

"Aldi is a place for economy-minded people," the man slurs to no one in particular, "and by economy-minded I mean poor." His lip quivers as he moans for "Tammy" again, and she points to the nutrition label on the chocolates as the man chokes back an infantile wail. He belches, pulling down the rim of a baseball cap labelled "JESUS > WORLD" squeezing his corpulent forehead. He holds his phone up in front of him and babbles as he quickly waddles away to accost the two lardbeasts again.

Waddles? Pfft, he wasn't walking. Notice how he couldn't look at the bread on the top shelf to see what it was. It's not as if that shelf was 6' in the air. His fat ass was on his scooter, being pushed around, or borrowing a store scooter if Aldis has those.

We don't see a single fresh fruit or vegetable in the whole video.

You rarely see them on his cooking channel either. They either don't exist, they're frozen, or setup in some way that he can pick them out or scrape them off once the video ends so he can consume whatever piled of congealed cheese and meat he's managed to heat up in the oven without risk of additional fiber in his diet.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Im taking it Junior will boycott the NFL as effectively as his old man.

 

[AnOminous]

Just thought I would point out that even at the thumbnail, Jack already screwed up.

What a fucking retard, "is that the 0 carb bread?" I'd guess yes from the fact it says "0 carbs" on it in huge letters you fat fucking moron. I can see that even while he's shaking around the camera like he's having a seizure.

 

[desudesu]

“People are nerds for Aldi” says the fat boomer retard who filmed Aldi’s hauls twice before. Is Jack going to become a Mommy Food and Shopping hauler? Because my calendar is completely packed to the brim picking those channels apart.

I like how he said NUGGETS very angrily at the beginning of the video. He must have seen the Gastrosexual Healing video.

He also said “Why do people fawn all over this zero carb bread?” DUDE YOU LITERALLY DID A VIDEO DOING THIS? Are you that mushbrained? Ho lee fuck. What a stroked-out-borderline-Alzheimer’s-nursing-home-patient-mushbrain.

Edited: I accidentally bumped the reply button to early. Oops. Edited again because I’ve been up since 2am and am barely able to form sentences.

Video:

God, how many times "OK GUYS" must he blurt out in a single fucking video!? "OKAY GAIS. OKAY GAIS"

There are videos such as the ones from LGR Thrifts where Clint shows his thrift shopping and gives interesting informational tidbits about various items in the store without ever coming off as annoying. Jack on the other hand is so grating to listen to as he's a literal manbaby visiting a supermarket for the first time. Quoting PCTLM mocking Jack in their livestreams: "LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THAT!"

Also, is he on the scooter in the Aldi video? Surprising he's not.

Edit: Oh man, talk about a wife who refuses to look at you in the eye. That's rough, fatty. Seriously, she looks so tired of his shit in that particular segment.

 

[DX10]

Im taking it Junior will boycott the NFL as effectively as his old man.

If you're letting "snowflakes" ruin football for you, then you are one, Mac Jr.

 

[curbside]

What a fucking retard, "is that the 0 carb bread?" I'd guess yes from the fact it says "0 carbs" on it in huge letters you fat fucking moron. I can see that even while he's shaking around the camera like he's having a seizure.

I guarantee this is a habit Jack developed constantly nagging Tammy. He’s so lazy his eyes won’t even read without throwing the work on her first.

 

[Adamska]

What a fucking retard, "is that the 0 carb bread?" I'd guess yes from the fact it says "0 carbs" on it in huge letters you fat fucking moron. I can see that even while he's shaking around the camera like he's having a seizure.

He once bought a plant based copy of mozzarella cheese, despite it having a very different style and packaging than the great value stuff, and chose to tantrum like the fucking retard he is on facebook. He cried like a toddler over how it was the store's fault that he is a literal special needs person who is so starved for food and cocks he couldn't even identify something by color.

It's not an easy mistake either, care to compare:

 

[AnOminous]

I guarantee this is a habit Jack developed constantly nagging Tammy. He’s so lazy his eyes won’t even read without throwing the work on her first.

Jack is so utterly bitchmade. He acts like the stereotype of a shrewish wife henpecking her husband, but he's the one doing it and Tammy is the henpecked husband, although she is increasingly obviously sick of his shit.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

I guarantee this is a habit Jack developed constantly nagging Tammy. He’s so lazy his eyes won’t even read without throwing the work on her first.

This is how Jack bullies her into being in the video. She has likely told him multiple times she doesn't like being in his recordings, but we know he is incapable of the slightest modicum of respect for his own wife.

Expect a new facebook lovebomb to her real soon.

 

[Adamska]

This is how Jack bullies her into being in the video. She has likely told him multiple times she doesn't like being in his recordings, but we know he is incapable of the slightest modicum of respect for his own wife.

Expect a new facebook lovebomb to her real soon.

Jack, when faced with being warned by his boss at the radio station for not playing requests or the listed music, responded by doubling down. He just continued to play what HE wanted to listen to, and got fired for it.

Jack is incapable of stopping unless you cut down his shit.

 

[p1138]

What a fucking retard, "is that the 0 carb bread?" I'd guess yes from the fact it says "0 carbs" on it in huge letters you fat fucking moron. I can see that even while he's shaking around the camera like he's having a seizure.

That's because he's lifting his good arm to hold the phone up in the air while he sits on a scooter, and he can't angle it to see the screen of the phone to read the bread package because that shelf is at a height for normal standing people to just look at. Notice how all of the camera footage is taken from a height as if Jack were only 3-4' tall? How he's looking dead on at the 2nd shelf from the floor on the aisles? The cheese aisle, if he were standing like a normal average height man those two top shelves would be 6 feet up or higher, they definitely aren't. Look at his reflection in the freezer door at 5:15, his shoulders are damn near at the same level as the shopping cart next to him. He's finally waddling out the door at around the 10:10 mark, moving really slow, because you can see they have wheelchairs by the entrance and he probably isn't allowed to take it outside.

edit: JFC, talking about the duck at 5:55 "I think that's a frozen one" NO SHIT, YOU GOT IT OUT OF THE FREEZER AND IT SAYS KEEP FROZEN ON IT

You can see for a few frames in the reflection, that he's got his body turned almost 90 degrees, where his fat is hanging over the back of the chair he's in, and that his gut is still parallel to the aisle.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Jack, when faced with being warned by his boss at the radio station for not playing requests or the listed music, responded by doubling down. He just continued to play what HE wanted to listen to, and got fired for it.

Jack is incapable of stopping unless you cut down his shit.

That means that Big T needs to learn that she is actively enabling him by continuing the marriage. She's probably in denial, but he is quite correct when he says that without her he couldn't do anything.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Is it just a localized/translation thing or wasn't it a teaching of Jesus that you weren't meant to get super flashy and dressed up for attendance to Church and were legitimately meant to attend however you dressed on a normal day, if not relaxed, as part of the whole sabbath thing?

There's... passages in the bible that can be interpreted in both ways depending on who you're talking to. I mean Jesus himself was against organized religion and look what happened?

There are passages that say you shouldn't get dressed up as that's not the important thing. Then there's the unspoken rules that congregations seem to go by and they feel if you're not wearing a tie or dressed in your "Sunday best" you are somehow disrespecting the Lord and the priest.

So really it could go either way depending on who you talk to.

“People are nerds for Aldi” says the fat boomer retard who filmed Aldi’s hauls twice before. Is Jack going to become a Mommy Food and Shopping hauler? Because my calendar is completely packed to the brim picking those channels apart.

I like how he said NUGGETS very angrily at the beginning of the video. He must have seen the Gastrosexual Healing video.

He also said “Why do people fawn all over this zero carb bread?” DUDE YOU LITERALLY DID A VIDEO DOING THIS? Are you that mushbrained? Ho lee fuck. What a stroked-out-borderline-Alzheimer’s-nursing-home-patient-mushbrain.

Edited: I accidentally bumped the reply button to early. Oops. Edited again because I’ve been up since 2am and am barely able to form sentences.

Video:

Aldi's is great. It's a discount chain, the produce is good and the prices are reasonable. What's the problem or does Mushbrain think that because it attracts "poor" people it's somehow bad? Yeah because nothing spells S-M-R-T like paying more money for something.

That means that Big T needs to learn that she is actively enabling him by continuing the marriage. She's probably in denial, but he is quite correct when he says that without her he couldn't do anything.

She's probably just biding her time until he finally strokes out for good one day and can claim that she found him lying dead in a pool of bacon grease, monkfruit sweetener and BBQ sauce that he was eating with a spoon. Meanwhile she killed him because she was just sick and tired of his shit and he pushed her too far.

 

[captkrisma]

How can we convince Jack, who loves bandwagoning, to do a Swerve version of dalgona from Squid Game?

 

[Lousy Cleaning Service]

I honestly think Big T is trading licks with Jeanette Tonks as opposed to Jim Traynor.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

How can we convince Jack, who loves bandwagoning, to do a Swerve version of dalgona from Squid Game?

Just him making dalgona all by itself because he's so into "coffee" would be funny as hell.

I honestly think Big T is trading licks with Jeanette Tonks as opposed to Jim Traynor.

Well their initials are both JT. So maybe Jeanette is Jim Traynor? Anyway it doesn't matter who she's getting her licks or dicks from. It's not Mushbrain. On that part we can all agree.

 

[Pig Cups]

She's probably just biding her time until he finally strokes out for good one day and can claim that she found him lying dead in a pool of bacon grease, monkfruit sweetener and BBQ sauce that he was eating with a spoon. Meanwhile she killed him because she was just sick and tired of his shit and he pushed her too far.

Every time I see a comment like this, it makes me think about the degree of ease by which one could kill Jack and get off scot-free. It could be as easy as adding finely ground glass to his grits, like the slaves would occasionally do to their masters. Do that enough times, and he’ll die from something resembling a heart attack. And much like those bariatric disasters on My 600-Lb Life, Jack is so beset with health problems that him dying from what looks like natural causes would be so expected that the authorities might just hastily chalk it up as such. Hell, if Tammy was ever brought to trial on murder charges, they could just point to Fatty’s recent videos showcasing his decline as a means to bolster the natural causes argument. Then again, they could look at Tammy’s gruff demeanor in Jack’s videos and argue that she’s a woman unhappy enough to murder her husband.

“I came home and found him on the floor in the living room, and I immediately called.”
>Authorities then notice scooty-puff near Jack’s hulking mass of a corpse as well as multiple tubs of BaconUp on the kitchen counter. They’re made aware of Fatty DooDoo’s plethora of co-morbidities, including multiple strokes resulting in stroke arm and beetus. Between natural death and foul play, which are they REALLY going to choose? If the desired choice is selected, it’s quick cremation from there in the hopes of the matter being forever buried.

As long as there are no incriminating web searches, purchases, communications, or other things to form a electronic/paper trail, it could theoretically be pulled off. Extra care would need to be exercised, and there’s always the fact that most people who do this shit think they’ve covered all the bases, yet wind up being brought down by one little thing they neglected/were careless over.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

If the desired choice is selected, it’s quick cremation from there in the hopes of the matter being forever buried.

Yeah except Mushbrain shouldn't be cremated. All that fat could start a literal grease fire in the crematorium.

'Overly obese' body sparks Ohio funeral home fire

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting a "grease fire".

www.bbc.com

 

[wdymbro]

Video:

His sperging about pumpkin spice is so stupid. Pumpkin spice is a spice mix, you stroked out idiot. They don't shove actual pumpkin into the eggnog and waffles like your 2 remaining brain cells are trying to imply.